Re: The R Word

[Guest guest]

I haven't read this post completely yet; I'll do that soon. However, it has

prompted me to share a recent experience.

As you may have noticed, I haven't been posting often recently. 3-4

weekends ago (sorry, but not only has time been messed up for me, but

I've also had at least an entire week disappear from memory. What an

awful feeling) I ended up going to the hospital late at night/early in the

morning. A few days later (or whenever), I was moved to intensive care.

Without warning, I'd gone into severe congestive heart failure (blood

pressure apparently dropped suddenly to 60/00), so swollen with fluid that

my usually skinny legs were gigantic. I'll write more about this soon - not

only as part of our history but also because Andy and I have learned

various things we all, as parents, need to address.

Now, the post: My brain wasn't getting enough oxygen, I couldn't sleep

more than an hour a night, and the damn powers that be decided that I

was in grave danger of a serious fall. Without consulting Andy, I was

placed in a locked " thing " that looked rather like a wagon top attached to

my bed. I could not reach my glasses, the nurse call button, or the water

I'd been told to drink. ICU had no phone for me, so I couldn't call Andy or

anyone for help. One nurse was vile beyond belief (made a hitting motion

to her face if I tried to speak and other goodies.) I brilliantly didn't write

down her name. Andy talked to the head of nursing the day after the first

occurrence, but everyone remained too scared of a possible fall to even

consider doing things differently. I was virtually screaming at Andy that I

would make a formal complaint. Instead, I'll include everything that

happened on a survey and have already made certain that the hospital

CEO knows what happened.

I am haunted now by what happened to me and what must happen over

and over to our kids who cannot communicate well with the outside world.

If no one cared whether I could contact a nurse if I had to go to the

bathroom, what must happen to our kids when they're cut off? I tell you,

this is just eating at me as I think over and over again about . There's

a higher need for watchfulness than I'd ever imagined.

I've been home since last Thursday and am slowly getting better.

flew home when things looked so dire, went back to Chicago

until last night and is now home for a month of helping and bonding.

So, keep keeping your eyes open for " things " with our CHARGErs.

Sometimes the people we assume will help us create horror stories.

Martha

[Guest guest]

how awful!!! hope you are better soon and glad elizabeth will be there to help!

Re: The R Word

I haven't read this post completely yet; I'll do that soon. However, it has

prompted me to share a recent experience.

As you may have noticed, I haven't been posting often recently. 3-4

weekends ago (sorry, but not only has time been messed up for me, but

I've also had at least an entire week disappear from memory. What an

awful feeling) I ended up going to the hospital late at night/early in the

morning. A few days later (or whenever), I was moved to intensive care.

Without warning, I'd gone into severe congestive heart failure (blood

pressure apparently dropped suddenly to 60/00), so swollen with fluid that

my usually skinny legs were gigantic. I'll write more about this soon - not

only as part of our history but also because Andy and I have learned

various things we all, as parents, need to address.

Now, the post: My brain wasn't getting enough oxygen, I couldn't sleep

more than an hour a night, and the damn powers that be decided that I

was in grave danger of a serious fall. Without consulting Andy, I was

placed in a locked " thing " that looked rather like a wagon top attached to

my bed. I could not reach my glasses, the nurse call button, or the water

I'd been told to drink. ICU had no phone for me, so I couldn't call Andy or

anyone for help. One nurse was vile beyond belief (made a hitting motion

to her face if I tried to speak and other goodies.) I brilliantly didn't write

down her name. Andy talked to the head of nursing the day after the first

occurrence, but everyone remained too scared of a possible fall to even

consider doing things differently. I was virtually screaming at Andy that I

would make a formal complaint. Instead, I'll include everything that

happened on a survey and have already made certain that the hospital

CEO knows what happened.

I am haunted now by what happened to me and what must happen over

and over to our kids who cannot communicate well with the outside world.

If no one cared whether I could contact a nurse if I had to go to the

bathroom, what must happen to our kids when they're cut off? I tell you,

this is just eating at me as I think over and over again about . There's

a higher need for watchfulness than I'd ever imagined.

I've been home since last Thursday and am slowly getting better.

flew home when things looked so dire, went back to Chicago

until last night and is now home for a month of helping and bonding.

So, keep keeping your eyes open for " things " with our CHARGErs.

Sometimes the people we assume will help us create horror stories.

Martha

[Guest guest]

how awful!!! hope you are better soon and glad elizabeth will be there to help!

Re: The R Word

I haven't read this post completely yet; I'll do that soon. However, it has

prompted me to share a recent experience.

As you may have noticed, I haven't been posting often recently. 3-4

weekends ago (sorry, but not only has time been messed up for me, but

I've also had at least an entire week disappear from memory. What an

awful feeling) I ended up going to the hospital late at night/early in the

morning. A few days later (or whenever), I was moved to intensive care.

Without warning, I'd gone into severe congestive heart failure (blood

pressure apparently dropped suddenly to 60/00), so swollen with fluid that

my usually skinny legs were gigantic. I'll write more about this soon - not

only as part of our history but also because Andy and I have learned

various things we all, as parents, need to address.

Now, the post: My brain wasn't getting enough oxygen, I couldn't sleep

more than an hour a night, and the damn powers that be decided that I

was in grave danger of a serious fall. Without consulting Andy, I was

placed in a locked " thing " that looked rather like a wagon top attached to

my bed. I could not reach my glasses, the nurse call button, or the water

I'd been told to drink. ICU had no phone for me, so I couldn't call Andy or

anyone for help. One nurse was vile beyond belief (made a hitting motion

to her face if I tried to speak and other goodies.) I brilliantly didn't write

down her name. Andy talked to the head of nursing the day after the first

occurrence, but everyone remained too scared of a possible fall to even

consider doing things differently. I was virtually screaming at Andy that I

would make a formal complaint. Instead, I'll include everything that

happened on a survey and have already made certain that the hospital

CEO knows what happened.

I am haunted now by what happened to me and what must happen over

and over to our kids who cannot communicate well with the outside world.

If no one cared whether I could contact a nurse if I had to go to the

bathroom, what must happen to our kids when they're cut off? I tell you,

this is just eating at me as I think over and over again about . There's

a higher need for watchfulness than I'd ever imagined.

I've been home since last Thursday and am slowly getting better.

flew home when things looked so dire, went back to Chicago

until last night and is now home for a month of helping and bonding.

So, keep keeping your eyes open for " things " with our CHARGErs.

Sometimes the people we assume will help us create horror stories.

Martha

[Guest guest]

Martha-

That is horrific! I'm so glad you are better. I am so sorry for your

ordeal. But I am thankful for the awakening to all of us to the

possibilities for our kids. Truly - we can't even imagine their

vulnerability.

Michele W

[Guest guest]

Martha-

That is horrific! I'm so glad you are better. I am so sorry for your

ordeal. But I am thankful for the awakening to all of us to the

possibilities for our kids. Truly - we can't even imagine their

vulnerability.

Michele W

[Guest guest]

Thank you for that story. Today I was talking to a teacher at my school ( I

am a 3rd grade reg ed teacher who used to teach LD and EI students in the

Detroit area) and we were having the conversation about the use of the word

retarded within the professional field. Many teachers and school

psychologists in our district still use this old fashioned word as a way of

describing cognitively impaired persons. I have stood up in meetings and

others know that the word retarded is as insulting to myself and my family

as the N word is for AFrican Americans. It is also an outdated with respect

to current use in the SE law. But you see, our society perpetuates these

words as insults used by actors and actresses on TV and movies consistently.

People hear the word said by actors and that makes it funny or acceptable to

use in their eyes. The word is still misused by those collecting money for

" retarded citizens " as well as the Association for Retarded Citizens or the

ARC in our area....so we need to do something. Sometimes the R word is used

as an insult from person to person, toward a spec needs person or sometimes

it is used inappropriately by a professional who is describing a spec needs

person but doesnt feel it is an insult....I am not sure what to do but this

issue makes my blood boil as well as my daughter's, husband's and sister's,

other spec ed teachers and friends of mine who have cognitively impaired

children...I know that my family and friends and I can act as educators to

others in teaching the right words to use in this politically incorrect

world.

Cindy, mother of Bradley (charge) and Steph and husband Tom

>

>Reply-To: CHARGE

>To: CHARGE >

>Subject: The R Word

>Date: Tue, 1 May 2007 12:31:33 -0500

>

>

>

>This is just too powerful not to share -- a speech by a high school senior

>to his classmates. Please spread it far and wide.

>

>http://cbs2chicago.com/topstories/local_story_112214637.html

>

>Here is Soeren's speech - -the start of it all --

>

> " I want to tell you a quick story before I start. I was walking through

>hallways, not minding my own business, listening to the conversations

>around

>me. As I passed the front door on my way to my English classroom, I heard

>the dialogue between two friends nearby. For reasons of privacy, I would

>rather not give away their race or gender. So the one girl leans to the

>other, pointing to the back of a young man washing the glass panes of the

>front door, and says, " Oh my gaw! I think it is so cute that our school

>brings in the black kids from around the district to wash our windows! "

>The

>other girl looked up, widened her slanted Asian eyes and called to the

>window washer, easily loud enough for him to hear, " Hey, Negro! You missed

>a spot! " The young man did not turn around. The first girl smiled a bland

>smile that all white girls - hell, all white people - have and walked on.

>A

>group of Mexicans stood by and laughed that high pitch laugh that all of

>them have.

>

> So now it's your turn. What do you think the black window

>washer did? What would you do in that situation? Do you think he turned

>and calmly explained the fallacies of racism and showed the girls the error

>of their way? That's the one thing that makes racism, or any

>discrimination, less powerful in my mind. No matter how biased or bigoted

>a

>comment or action may be, the guy can turn around and explain why racism is

>wrong and, if worst comes to worst, punch em in the face. Discrimination

>against those who can defend themselves, obviously, cannot survive. What

>would be far worse is if we discriminated against those who cannot defend

>themselves.

>

> What then, could be worse than racism? Look around you and

>thank God that we don't live in a world that discriminates and despises

>those who cannot defend themselves. Thank God that every one of us in this

>room, in this school hates racism and sexism and by that logic

>discrimination in general. Thank God that every one in this institution is

>dedicated to the ideal of mutual respect and love for our fellow human

>beings. Then pinch yourself for living in a dream. Then pinch the

>hypocrites sitting next to you. Then pinch the hypocrite that is you.

>Pinch yourself once for each time you have looked at one of your fellow

>human beings with a mental handicap and laughed. Pinch yourself for each

>and every time you denounced discrimination only to turn and hate those

>around you without the ability to defend themselves, the only ones around

>you without the ability to defend themselves. Pinch yourself for each time

>you have called someone else a " retard " .

>

> If you have been wondering about my opening story, I'll tell

>you

>that it didn't happen, not as I described it. Can you guess what I

>changed?

>No, it wasn't the focused hate on one person, and no it wasn't the slanted

>Asian eyes or cookie cutter features white people have or that shrill

>Hispanic hyena laugh (yeah, it hurts when people make assumptions about

>your

>person and use them against you doesn't it?). The girl didn't say " hey

>Negro. " There was no black person. It was a mentally handicapped boy

>washing the windows. It was " Hey retard. " I removed the word retard. I

>removed the word that destroys the dignity of our most innocent. I removed

>the single most hateful word in the entire English language.

>

>I don't understand why we use the word; I don't think I ever will. In such

>an era of political correctness, why is it that retard is still ok? Why do

>we allow it? Why don't we stop using the word? Maybe students can't

>handle

>stopping- I hope that offends you students, it was meant to - but I don't

>think the adults, here can either. Students, look at your teacher, look at

>every member of this faculty. I am willing to bet that every one of them

>would throw a fit if they heard the word faggot or nigger - hell the word

>Negro - used in their classroom. But how many of them would raise a finger

>against the word retard? How many of them have? Teachers, feel free to

>raise your hand or call attention to yourself through some other means if

>you have. That's what I thought. Clearly, this obviously isn't a problem

>contained within our age group.

>

> So why am I doing this? Why do I risk being misunderstood and

>resented by this school's student body and staff? Because I know how much

>you can learn from people, all people, even - no, not even, especially -

>the

>mentally handicapped. I know this because every morning I wake up and I

>come downstairs and I sit across from my sister, quietly eating her

>cheerio's. And as I sit down she sets her spoon down on the table and she

>looks at me, her strawberry blonde hair hanging over her freckled face

>almost completely hides the question mark shaped scar above her ear from

>her

>brain surgery two Christmases ago. She looks at me and she smiles. She

>has

>a beautiful smile; it lights up her face. Her two front teeth are faintly

>stained from the years of intense epilepsy medication but I don't notice

>that anymore. I lean over to her and say, " Good morning, Olivia. " She

>stares at me for a moment and says quickly, " Good morning, Soeren, " and

>goes

>back to her cheerio's. I sit there for a minute, thinking about what to

>say. " What are you going to do at school today, Olivia? " She looks up

>again. " Gonna see Mista Bee! " she replies loudly, hugging herself slightly

>and looking up. Mr. B. is her gym teacher and perhaps her favorite man

>outside of our family on the entire planet and Olivia is thoroughly

>convinced that she will be having gym class every day of the week. I like

>to view it as wishful thinking. She finishes her cheerio's and grabs her

>favorite blue backpack and waits for her bus driver, Miss Debbie, who, like

>clockwork, arrives at our house at exactly 7'o'clock each morning. She

>gives me a quick hug goodbye and runs excitedly to the bus, ecstatic for

>another day of school.

>

>And I watch the bus disappear around the turn and I can't help but remember

>the jokes. The short bus. The retard rocket. No matter what she does, no

>matter how much she loves those around her, she will always be the butt of

>some immature kid's joke. She will always be the butt of some mature kid's

>joke. She will always be the butt of some " adult's " joke. By no fault of

>her own, she will spend her entire life being stared at and judged.

>Despite

>the fact that she will never hate, never judge, never make fun of, never

>hurt, she will never be accepted. That's why I'm doing this. I'm doing

>this because I don't think you understand how much you hurt others when you

>hate. And maybe you don't realize that you hate. But that's what is; your

>pre-emptive dismissal of them, your dehumanization of them, your mockery of

>them, it's nothing but another form of hate. It's more hateful than

>racism,

>more hateful than sexism, more hateful than anything. I'm doing this so

>that each and every one of you, student or teacher, thinks before the next

>time you use the word " retard " , before the next time you shrug off someone

>else's use of the word " retard " . Think of the people you hurt, both the

>mentally handicapped and those who love them. If you have to, think of my

>sister. Think about how she can find more happiness in the blowing of a

>bubble and watching it float away than most of will in our entire lives.

>Think about how she will always love everyone unconditionally. Think about

>how she will never hate. Then think about which one of you is " retarded " .

>

>Maybe this has become more of an issue today because society is changing,

>slowly, to be sure, but changing nonetheless. The mentally handicapped

>aren't being locked in their family's basement anymore. The mentally

>handicapped aren't rotting like criminals in institutions. Our fellow

>human

>beings are walking among us, attending school with us, entering the work

>force with us, asking for nothing but acceptance, giving nothing but love.

>As we become more accepting and less hateful, more and more handicapped

>individuals will finally be able to participate in the society that has

>shunned them for so long. You will see more of them working in places you

>go, at Dominic's, at Jewel, at Wal-Mart. Someday, I hope more than

>anything, one of these people that you see will be my sister.

>

>I want to leave you with one last thought. I didn't ask to have a mentally

>handicapped sister. She didn't choose to be mentally handicapped. But I

>wouldn't trade it for anything. I have learned infinitely more from her

>simple words and love than I have from any classroom of " higher education " .

>I only hope that, one-day, each of you will open your hearts enough to

>experience true unconditional love, because that is all any of them want to

>give. I hope that, someday, someone will love you as much as Olivia loves

>me. I hope that, someday, you will love somebody as much as I love her. I

>love you, Olivia. "

>

>Soeren Palumbo

>

>

>

_________________________________________________________________

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[Guest guest]

Thank you for that story. Today I was talking to a teacher at my school ( I

am a 3rd grade reg ed teacher who used to teach LD and EI students in the

Detroit area) and we were having the conversation about the use of the word

retarded within the professional field. Many teachers and school

psychologists in our district still use this old fashioned word as a way of

describing cognitively impaired persons. I have stood up in meetings and

others know that the word retarded is as insulting to myself and my family

as the N word is for AFrican Americans. It is also an outdated with respect

to current use in the SE law. But you see, our society perpetuates these

words as insults used by actors and actresses on TV and movies consistently.

People hear the word said by actors and that makes it funny or acceptable to

use in their eyes. The word is still misused by those collecting money for

" retarded citizens " as well as the Association for Retarded Citizens or the

ARC in our area....so we need to do something. Sometimes the R word is used

as an insult from person to person, toward a spec needs person or sometimes

it is used inappropriately by a professional who is describing a spec needs

person but doesnt feel it is an insult....I am not sure what to do but this

issue makes my blood boil as well as my daughter's, husband's and sister's,

other spec ed teachers and friends of mine who have cognitively impaired

children...I know that my family and friends and I can act as educators to

others in teaching the right words to use in this politically incorrect

world.

Cindy, mother of Bradley (charge) and Steph and husband Tom

>

>Reply-To: CHARGE

>To: CHARGE >

>Subject: The R Word

>Date: Tue, 1 May 2007 12:31:33 -0500

>

>

>

>This is just too powerful not to share -- a speech by a high school senior

>to his classmates. Please spread it far and wide.

>

>http://cbs2chicago.com/topstories/local_story_112214637.html

>

>Here is Soeren's speech - -the start of it all --

>

> " I want to tell you a quick story before I start. I was walking through

>hallways, not minding my own business, listening to the conversations

>around

>me. As I passed the front door on my way to my English classroom, I heard

>the dialogue between two friends nearby. For reasons of privacy, I would

>rather not give away their race or gender. So the one girl leans to the

>other, pointing to the back of a young man washing the glass panes of the

>front door, and says, " Oh my gaw! I think it is so cute that our school

>brings in the black kids from around the district to wash our windows! "

>The

>other girl looked up, widened her slanted Asian eyes and called to the

>window washer, easily loud enough for him to hear, " Hey, Negro! You missed

>a spot! " The young man did not turn around. The first girl smiled a bland

>smile that all white girls - hell, all white people - have and walked on.

>A

>group of Mexicans stood by and laughed that high pitch laugh that all of

>them have.

>

> So now it's your turn. What do you think the black window

>washer did? What would you do in that situation? Do you think he turned

>and calmly explained the fallacies of racism and showed the girls the error

>of their way? That's the one thing that makes racism, or any

>discrimination, less powerful in my mind. No matter how biased or bigoted

>a

>comment or action may be, the guy can turn around and explain why racism is

>wrong and, if worst comes to worst, punch em in the face. Discrimination

>against those who can defend themselves, obviously, cannot survive. What

>would be far worse is if we discriminated against those who cannot defend

>themselves.

>

> What then, could be worse than racism? Look around you and

>thank God that we don't live in a world that discriminates and despises

>those who cannot defend themselves. Thank God that every one of us in this

>room, in this school hates racism and sexism and by that logic

>discrimination in general. Thank God that every one in this institution is

>dedicated to the ideal of mutual respect and love for our fellow human

>beings. Then pinch yourself for living in a dream. Then pinch the

>hypocrites sitting next to you. Then pinch the hypocrite that is you.

>Pinch yourself once for each time you have looked at one of your fellow

>human beings with a mental handicap and laughed. Pinch yourself for each

>and every time you denounced discrimination only to turn and hate those

>around you without the ability to defend themselves, the only ones around

>you without the ability to defend themselves. Pinch yourself for each time

>you have called someone else a " retard " .

>

> If you have been wondering about my opening story, I'll tell

>you

>that it didn't happen, not as I described it. Can you guess what I

>changed?

>No, it wasn't the focused hate on one person, and no it wasn't the slanted

>Asian eyes or cookie cutter features white people have or that shrill

>Hispanic hyena laugh (yeah, it hurts when people make assumptions about

>your

>person and use them against you doesn't it?). The girl didn't say " hey

>Negro. " There was no black person. It was a mentally handicapped boy

>washing the windows. It was " Hey retard. " I removed the word retard. I

>removed the word that destroys the dignity of our most innocent. I removed

>the single most hateful word in the entire English language.

>

>I don't understand why we use the word; I don't think I ever will. In such

>an era of political correctness, why is it that retard is still ok? Why do

>we allow it? Why don't we stop using the word? Maybe students can't

>handle

>stopping- I hope that offends you students, it was meant to - but I don't

>think the adults, here can either. Students, look at your teacher, look at

>every member of this faculty. I am willing to bet that every one of them

>would throw a fit if they heard the word faggot or nigger - hell the word

>Negro - used in their classroom. But how many of them would raise a finger

>against the word retard? How many of them have? Teachers, feel free to

>raise your hand or call attention to yourself through some other means if

>you have. That's what I thought. Clearly, this obviously isn't a problem

>contained within our age group.

>

> So why am I doing this? Why do I risk being misunderstood and

>resented by this school's student body and staff? Because I know how much

>you can learn from people, all people, even - no, not even, especially -

>the

>mentally handicapped. I know this because every morning I wake up and I

>come downstairs and I sit across from my sister, quietly eating her

>cheerio's. And as I sit down she sets her spoon down on the table and she

>looks at me, her strawberry blonde hair hanging over her freckled face

>almost completely hides the question mark shaped scar above her ear from

>her

>brain surgery two Christmases ago. She looks at me and she smiles. She

>has

>a beautiful smile; it lights up her face. Her two front teeth are faintly

>stained from the years of intense epilepsy medication but I don't notice

>that anymore. I lean over to her and say, " Good morning, Olivia. " She

>stares at me for a moment and says quickly, " Good morning, Soeren, " and

>goes

>back to her cheerio's. I sit there for a minute, thinking about what to

>say. " What are you going to do at school today, Olivia? " She looks up

>again. " Gonna see Mista Bee! " she replies loudly, hugging herself slightly

>and looking up. Mr. B. is her gym teacher and perhaps her favorite man

>outside of our family on the entire planet and Olivia is thoroughly

>convinced that she will be having gym class every day of the week. I like

>to view it as wishful thinking. She finishes her cheerio's and grabs her

>favorite blue backpack and waits for her bus driver, Miss Debbie, who, like

>clockwork, arrives at our house at exactly 7'o'clock each morning. She

>gives me a quick hug goodbye and runs excitedly to the bus, ecstatic for

>another day of school.

>

>And I watch the bus disappear around the turn and I can't help but remember

>the jokes. The short bus. The retard rocket. No matter what she does, no

>matter how much she loves those around her, she will always be the butt of

>some immature kid's joke. She will always be the butt of some mature kid's

>joke. She will always be the butt of some " adult's " joke. By no fault of

>her own, she will spend her entire life being stared at and judged.

>Despite

>the fact that she will never hate, never judge, never make fun of, never

>hurt, she will never be accepted. That's why I'm doing this. I'm doing

>this because I don't think you understand how much you hurt others when you

>hate. And maybe you don't realize that you hate. But that's what is; your

>pre-emptive dismissal of them, your dehumanization of them, your mockery of

>them, it's nothing but another form of hate. It's more hateful than

>racism,

>more hateful than sexism, more hateful than anything. I'm doing this so

>that each and every one of you, student or teacher, thinks before the next

>time you use the word " retard " , before the next time you shrug off someone

>else's use of the word " retard " . Think of the people you hurt, both the

>mentally handicapped and those who love them. If you have to, think of my

>sister. Think about how she can find more happiness in the blowing of a

>bubble and watching it float away than most of will in our entire lives.

>Think about how she will always love everyone unconditionally. Think about

>how she will never hate. Then think about which one of you is " retarded " .

>

>Maybe this has become more of an issue today because society is changing,

>slowly, to be sure, but changing nonetheless. The mentally handicapped

>aren't being locked in their family's basement anymore. The mentally

>handicapped aren't rotting like criminals in institutions. Our fellow

>human

>beings are walking among us, attending school with us, entering the work

>force with us, asking for nothing but acceptance, giving nothing but love.

>As we become more accepting and less hateful, more and more handicapped

>individuals will finally be able to participate in the society that has

>shunned them for so long. You will see more of them working in places you

>go, at Dominic's, at Jewel, at Wal-Mart. Someday, I hope more than

>anything, one of these people that you see will be my sister.

>

>I want to leave you with one last thought. I didn't ask to have a mentally

>handicapped sister. She didn't choose to be mentally handicapped. But I

>wouldn't trade it for anything. I have learned infinitely more from her

>simple words and love than I have from any classroom of " higher education " .

>I only hope that, one-day, each of you will open your hearts enough to

>experience true unconditional love, because that is all any of them want to

>give. I hope that, someday, someone will love you as much as Olivia loves

>me. I hope that, someday, you will love somebody as much as I love her. I

>love you, Olivia. "

>

>Soeren Palumbo

>

>

>

_________________________________________________________________

Download Messenger. Join the i’m Initiative. Help make a difference today.

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[Guest guest]

Cindy-

It is a big deal. BTW -- The Arc nationally has officially changed its name

to simply the Arc -- no acronym for anything. Before it was an acronym and

printed in capitol letters ARC. Some local chapters have not made the

change official. It wouldn't hurt to approach your local chapter and ask

that they do.

Have you visited www.disabilityisnatural.com? Kathie Snow has a very good

downloadable brochure on People First Language.

Michele W

[Guest guest]

Cindy-

It is a big deal. BTW -- The Arc nationally has officially changed its name

to simply the Arc -- no acronym for anything. Before it was an acronym and

printed in capitol letters ARC. Some local chapters have not made the

change official. It wouldn't hurt to approach your local chapter and ask

that they do.

Have you visited www.disabilityisnatural.com? Kathie Snow has a very good

downloadable brochure on People First Language.

Michele W

[Guest guest]

Cindy (and others)

As of Jan. 1 this year, the American Association of Mental Retardation has

changed it's name to American Association of Intellectual and Developmental

Disabilities (AAIDD). Many of the materials they print (very fine things) and

things related to them are beginning to change to reflect this change. The

words " intellectual disabilities " , " develomental disabilities " are being used

more pervasively and these changes will increase as time goes.

The AAIDD has a website should you want to see more of their rationale for the

changes (all things you have said). Keep in mind that the word " retarded " in a

professional realm was never meant to be insulting--rather descriptive--and it

was a change over " feeble minded " , " dumb " , and more. It was a change and

radical, too!! Now, like other things, the " R " word has been updated to

intellectual disabilities. Things change and this was time for this word, as

well.

pam

The R Word

>Date: Tue, 1 May 2007 12:31:33 -0500

>

>

>

>This is just too powerful not to share -- a speech by a high school senior

>to his classmates. Please spread it far and wide.

>

>http://cbs2chicago.com/topstories/local_story_112214637.html

>

>Here is Soeren's speech - -the start of it all --

>

> " I want to tell you a quick story before I start. I was walking through

>hallways, not minding my own business, listening to the conversations

>around

>me. As I passed the front door on my way to my English classroom, I heard

>the dialogue between two friends nearby. For reasons of privacy, I would

>rather not give away their race or gender. So the one girl leans to the

>other, pointing to the back of a young man washing the glass panes of the

>front door, and says, " Oh my gaw! I think it is so cute that our school

>brings in the black kids from around the district to wash our windows! "

>The

>other girl looked up, widened her slanted Asian eyes and called to the

>window washer, easily loud enough for him to hear, " Hey, Negro! You missed

>a spot! " The young man did not turn around. The first girl smiled a bland

>smile that all white girls - hell, all white people - have and walked on.

>A

>group of Mexicans stood by and laughed that high pitch laugh that all of

>them have.

>

> So now it's your turn. What do you think the black window

>washer did? What would you do in that situation? Do you think he turned

>and calmly explained the fallacies of racism and showed the girls the error

>of their way? That's the one thing that makes racism, or any

>discrimination, less powerful in my mind. No matter how biased or bigoted

>a

>comment or action may be, the guy can turn around and explain why racism is

>wrong and, if worst comes to worst, punch em in the face. Discrimination

>against those who can defend themselves, obviously, cannot survive. What

>would be far worse is if we discriminated against those who cannot defend

>themselves.

>

> What then, could be worse than racism? Look around you and

>thank God that we don't live in a world that discriminates and despises

>those who cannot defend themselves. Thank God that every one of us in this

>room, in this school hates racism and sexism and by that logic

>discrimination in general. Thank God that every one in this institution is

>dedicated to the ideal of mutual respect and love for our fellow human

>beings. Then pinch yourself for living in a dream. Then pinch the

>hypocrites sitting next to you. Then pinch the hypocrite that is you.

>Pinch yourself once for each time you have looked at one of your fellow

>human beings with a mental handicap and laughed. Pinch yourself for each

>and every time you denounced discrimination only to turn and hate those

>around you without the ability to defend themselves, the only ones around

>you without the ability to defend themselves. Pinch yourself for each time

>you have called someone else a " retard " .

>

> If you have been wondering about my opening story, I'll tell

>you

>that it didn't happen, not as I described it. Can you guess what I

>changed?

>No, it wasn't the focused hate on one person, and no it wasn't the slanted

>Asian eyes or cookie cutter features white people have or that shrill

>Hispanic hyena laugh (yeah, it hurts when people make assumptions about

>your

>person and use them against you doesn't it?). The girl didn't say " hey

>Negro. " There was no black person. It was a mentally handicapped boy

>washing the windows. It was " Hey retard. " I removed the word retard. I

>removed the word that destroys the dignity of our most innocent. I removed

>the single most hateful word in the entire English language.

>

>I don't understand why we use the word; I don't think I ever will. In such

>an era of political correctness, why is it that retard is still ok? Why do

>we allow it? Why don't we stop using the word? Maybe students can't

>handle

>stopping- I hope that offends you students, it was meant to - but I don't

>think the adults, here can either. Students, look at your teacher, look at

>every member of this faculty. I am willing to bet that every one of them

>would throw a fit if they heard the word faggot or nigger - hell the word

>Negro - used in their classroom. But how many of them would raise a finger

>against the word retard? How many of them have? Teachers, feel free to

>raise your hand or call attention to yourself through some other means if

>you have. That's what I thought. Clearly, this obviously isn't a problem

>contained within our age group.

>

> So why am I doing this? Why do I risk being misunderstood and

>resented by this school's student body and staff? Because I know how much

>you can learn from people, all people, even - no, not even, especially -

>the

>mentally handicapped. I know this because every morning I wake up and I

>come downstairs and I sit across from my sister, quietly eating her

>cheerio's. And as I sit down she sets her spoon down on the table and she

>looks at me, her strawberry blonde hair hanging over her freckled face

>almost completely hides the question mark shaped scar above her ear from

>her

>brain surgery two Christmases ago. She looks at me and she smiles. She

>has

>a beautiful smile; it lights up her face. Her two front teeth are faintly

>stained from the years of intense epilepsy medication but I don't notice

>that anymore. I lean over to her and say, " Good morning, Olivia. " She

>stares at me for a moment and says quickly, " Good morning, Soeren, " and

>goes

>back to her cheerio's. I sit there for a minute, thinking about what to

>say. " What are you going to do at school today, Olivia? " She looks up

>again. " Gonna see Mista Bee! " she replies loudly, hugging herself slightly

>and looking up. Mr. B. is her gym teacher and perhaps her favorite man

>outside of our family on the entire planet and Olivia is thoroughly

>convinced that she will be having gym class every day of the week. I like

>to view it as wishful thinking. She finishes her cheerio's and grabs her

>favorite blue backpack and waits for her bus driver, Miss Debbie, who, like

>clockwork, arrives at our house at exactly 7'o'clock each morning. She

>gives me a quick hug goodbye and runs excitedly to the bus, ecstatic for

>another day of school.

>

>And I watch the bus disappear around the turn and I can't help but remember

>the jokes. The short bus. The retard rocket. No matter what she does, no

>matter how much she loves those around her, she will always be the butt of

>some immature kid's joke. She will always be the butt of some mature kid's

>joke. She will always be the butt of some " adult's " joke. By no fault of

>her own, she will spend her entire life being stared at and judged.

>Despite

>the fact that she will never hate, never judge, never make fun of, never

>hurt, she will never be accepted. That's why I'm doing this. I'm doing

>this because I don't think you understand how much you hurt others when you

>hate. And maybe you don't realize that you hate. But that's what is; your

>pre-emptive dismissal of them, your dehumanization of them, your mockery of

>them, it's nothing but another form of hate. It's more hateful than

>racism,

>more hateful than sexism, more hateful than anything. I'm doing this so

>that each and every one of you, student or teacher, thinks before the next

>time you use the word " retard " , before the next time you shrug off someone

>else's use of the word " retard " . Think of the people you hurt, both the

>mentally handicapped and those who love them. If you have to, think of my

>sister. Think about how she can find more happiness in the blowing of a

>bubble and watching it float away than most of will in our entire lives.

>Think about how she will always love everyone unconditionally. Think about

>how she will never hate. Then think about which one of you is " retarded " .

>

>Maybe this has become more of an issue today because society is changing,

>slowly, to be sure, but changing nonetheless. The mentally handicapped

>aren't being locked in their family's basement anymore. The mentally

>handicapped aren't rotting like criminals in institutions. Our fellow

>human

>beings are walking among us, attending school with us, entering the work

>force with us, asking for nothing but acceptance, giving nothing but love.

>As we become more accepting and less hateful, more and more handicapped

>individuals will finally be able to participate in the society that has

>shunned them for so long. You will see more of them working in places you

>go, at Dominic's, at Jewel, at Wal-Mart. Someday, I hope more than

>anything, one of these people that you see will be my sister.

>

>I want to leave you with one last thought. I didn't ask to have a mentally

>handicapped sister. She didn't choose to be mentally handicapped. But I

>wouldn't trade it for anything. I have learned infinitely more from her

>simple words and love than I have from any classroom of " higher education " .

>I only hope that, one-day, each of you will open your hearts enough to

>experience true unconditional love, because that is all any of them want to

>give. I hope that, someday, someone will love you as much as Olivia loves

>me. I hope that, someday, you will love somebody as much as I love her. I

>love you, Olivia. "

>

>Soeren Palumbo

>

>

>

_________________________________________________________________

Download Messenger. Join the i'm Initiative. Help make a difference today.

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CHARGE SYNDROME LISTSERV PHOTO PAGE:

http://www.imagestation.com/album/?id=2117043995

Membership of this email support group does not constitute membership in the

CHARGE Syndrome Foundation; for information about the CHARGE Syndrome

Foundation or to become a member (and get the newsletter),

please contact marion@... or visit

the web site at http://www.chargesyndrome.org

8th International

CHARGE Syndrome Conference, July, 2007. Information will be available at

www.chargesyndrome.org or by calling 1-.

[Guest guest]

Michele,

My brain still ain't acting as it should (at least I have an excuse!), but

you've phrased things much better than I could right now. Yes, it is our

kids' vulnerabilities that I want to write about in coming days. I am heart

sick about what I experienced without sensory impairments; I MUST work

toward something that will keep as safe as possible when things go

wrong --- as they will on and off. Is it possible to REQUIRE hospitals to

notify parents and guardians before a " lock down??? " I would have

assumed that this was the norm but perhaps the law needs to be

amended --- and I need just that sort of limited cause to get my teeth into

now.

and I stopped by to see Miss K. this afternoon - beside

herself to see E.; she'll come over late tomorrow afternoon and spend the

night. Then, we bought some plants. E. picked up on my fatigue before I

did - with a gentle, " you've had a big day. " So, going out for an hour or so

is now a great big deal. Ugh. But we're moving forward.

Martha (who will probably need to vent several times a day until I can

walk for more than 5 minutes...)

[Guest guest]

Martha-

When you regain your strength, you'll find your cause. In the coming weeks,

you'll have time to sort out where your energies should go. Relax, regroup,

and allow things to fall into place and for your path to reveal itself to

you.

I'm so glad E is there to nuture you.

Michele W

[Guest guest]

Pam,

Thanks for your input and I am glad to hear they are changing the name. I do

realize the professional realm doesnt mean to insult, but it is an insult.

The word has been outdated for many, many years. The term previously used

was mentally impaired and recently has changed to cognitively impaired in

the educational community. I know myself as a parent and educator am

insulted by it and several of my friends who have children who are CI are

insulted by it.

I have never heard those words you described in the educational community

such as " dumb " and

" feeble minded " . I have been in education for over 24 years, both special

and regular ed.

>

>Reply-To: CHARGE

>To: CHARGE >

>Subject: RE: The R Word

>Date: Tue, 1 May 2007 19:28:33 -0400

>

>Cindy (and others)

>As of Jan. 1 this year, the American Association of Mental Retardation has

>changed it's name to American Association of Intellectual and Developmental

>Disabilities (AAIDD). Many of the materials they print (very fine things)

>and things related to them are beginning to change to reflect this change.

>The words " intellectual disabilities " , " develomental disabilities " are

>being used more pervasively and these changes will increase as time goes.

>

>The AAIDD has a website should you want to see more of their rationale for

>the changes (all things you have said). Keep in mind that the word

> " retarded " in a professional realm was never meant to be insulting--rather

>descriptive--and it was a change over " feeble minded " , " dumb " , and more.

>It was a change and radical, too!! Now, like other things, the " R " word has

>been updated to intellectual disabilities. Things change and this was time

>for this word, as well.

>

>pam

>

>

> The R Word

> >Date: Tue, 1 May 2007 12:31:33 -0500

> >

> >

> >

> >This is just too powerful not to share -- a speech by a high school

>senior

> >to his classmates. Please spread it far and wide.

> >

> >http://cbs2chicago.com/topstories/local_story_112214637.html

> >

> >Here is Soeren's speech - -the start of it all --

> >

> > " I want to tell you a quick story before I start. I was walking through

> >hallways, not minding my own business, listening to the conversations

> >around

> >me. As I passed the front door on my way to my English classroom, I

>heard

> >the dialogue between two friends nearby. For reasons of privacy, I would

> >rather not give away their race or gender. So the one girl leans to the

> >other, pointing to the back of a young man washing the glass panes of the

> >front door, and says, " Oh my gaw! I think it is so cute that our school

> >brings in the black kids from around the district to wash our windows! "

> >The

> >other girl looked up, widened her slanted Asian eyes and called to the

> >window washer, easily loud enough for him to hear, " Hey, Negro! You

>missed

> >a spot! " The young man did not turn around. The first girl smiled a

>bland

> >smile that all white girls - hell, all white people - have and walked on.

> >A

> >group of Mexicans stood by and laughed that high pitch laugh that all of

> >them have.

> >

> > So now it's your turn. What do you think the black window

> >washer did? What would you do in that situation? Do you think he turned

> >and calmly explained the fallacies of racism and showed the girls the

>error

> >of their way? That's the one thing that makes racism, or any

> >discrimination, less powerful in my mind. No matter how biased or

>bigoted

> >a

> >comment or action may be, the guy can turn around and explain why racism

>is

> >wrong and, if worst comes to worst, punch em in the face. Discrimination

> >against those who can defend themselves, obviously, cannot survive. What

> >would be far worse is if we discriminated against those who cannot defend

> >themselves.

> >

> > What then, could be worse than racism? Look around you and

> >thank God that we don't live in a world that discriminates and despises

> >those who cannot defend themselves. Thank God that every one of us in

>this

> >room, in this school hates racism and sexism and by that logic

> >discrimination in general. Thank God that every one in this institution

>is

> >dedicated to the ideal of mutual respect and love for our fellow human

> >beings. Then pinch yourself for living in a dream. Then pinch the

> >hypocrites sitting next to you. Then pinch the hypocrite that is you.

> >Pinch yourself once for each time you have looked at one of your fellow

> >human beings with a mental handicap and laughed. Pinch yourself for each

> >and every time you denounced discrimination only to turn and hate those

> >around you without the ability to defend themselves, the only ones around

> >you without the ability to defend themselves. Pinch yourself for each

>time

> >you have called someone else a " retard " .

> >

> > If you have been wondering about my opening story, I'll tell

> >you

> >that it didn't happen, not as I described it. Can you guess what I

> >changed?

> >No, it wasn't the focused hate on one person, and no it wasn't the

>slanted

> >Asian eyes or cookie cutter features white people have or that shrill

> >Hispanic hyena laugh (yeah, it hurts when people make assumptions about

> >your

> >person and use them against you doesn't it?). The girl didn't say " hey

> >Negro. " There was no black person. It was a mentally handicapped boy

> >washing the windows. It was " Hey retard. " I removed the word retard. I

> >removed the word that destroys the dignity of our most innocent. I

>removed

> >the single most hateful word in the entire English language.

> >

> >I don't understand why we use the word; I don't think I ever will. In

>such

> >an era of political correctness, why is it that retard is still ok? Why

>do

> >we allow it? Why don't we stop using the word? Maybe students can't

> >handle

> >stopping- I hope that offends you students, it was meant to - but I don't

> >think the adults, here can either. Students, look at your teacher, look

>at

> >every member of this faculty. I am willing to bet that every one of them

> >would throw a fit if they heard the word faggot or nigger - hell the word

> >Negro - used in their classroom. But how many of them would raise a

>finger

> >against the word retard? How many of them have? Teachers, feel free to

> >raise your hand or call attention to yourself through some other means if

> >you have. That's what I thought. Clearly, this obviously isn't a

>problem

> >contained within our age group.

> >

> > So why am I doing this? Why do I risk being misunderstood

>and

> >resented by this school's student body and staff? Because I know how

>much

> >you can learn from people, all people, even - no, not even, especially -

> >the

> >mentally handicapped. I know this because every morning I wake up and I

> >come downstairs and I sit across from my sister, quietly eating her

> >cheerio's. And as I sit down she sets her spoon down on the table and

>she

> >looks at me, her strawberry blonde hair hanging over her freckled face

> >almost completely hides the question mark shaped scar above her ear from

> >her

> >brain surgery two Christmases ago. She looks at me and she smiles. She

> >has

> >a beautiful smile; it lights up her face. Her two front teeth are

>faintly

> >stained from the years of intense epilepsy medication but I don't notice

> >that anymore. I lean over to her and say, " Good morning, Olivia. " She

> >stares at me for a moment and says quickly, " Good morning, Soeren, " and

> >goes

> >back to her cheerio's. I sit there for a minute, thinking about what to

> >say. " What are you going to do at school today, Olivia? " She looks up

> >again. " Gonna see Mista Bee! " she replies loudly, hugging herself

>slightly

> >and looking up. Mr. B. is her gym teacher and perhaps her favorite man

> >outside of our family on the entire planet and Olivia is thoroughly

> >convinced that she will be having gym class every day of the week. I

>like

> >to view it as wishful thinking. She finishes her cheerio's and grabs her

> >favorite blue backpack and waits for her bus driver, Miss Debbie, who,

>like

> >clockwork, arrives at our house at exactly 7'o'clock each morning. She

> >gives me a quick hug goodbye and runs excitedly to the bus, ecstatic for

> >another day of school.

> >

> >And I watch the bus disappear around the turn and I can't help but

>remember

> >the jokes. The short bus. The retard rocket. No matter what she does,

>no

> >matter how much she loves those around her, she will always be the butt

>of

> >some immature kid's joke. She will always be the butt of some mature

>kid's

> >joke. She will always be the butt of some " adult's " joke. By no fault

>of

> >her own, she will spend her entire life being stared at and judged.

> >Despite

> >the fact that she will never hate, never judge, never make fun of, never

> >hurt, she will never be accepted. That's why I'm doing this. I'm doing

> >this because I don't think you understand how much you hurt others when

>you

> >hate. And maybe you don't realize that you hate. But that's what is;

>your

> >pre-emptive dismissal of them, your dehumanization of them, your mockery

>of

> >them, it's nothing but another form of hate. It's more hateful than

> >racism,

> >more hateful than sexism, more hateful than anything. I'm doing this so

> >that each and every one of you, student or teacher, thinks before the

>next

> >time you use the word " retard " , before the next time you shrug off

>someone

> >else's use of the word " retard " . Think of the people you hurt, both the

> >mentally handicapped and those who love them. If you have to, think of

>my

> >sister. Think about how she can find more happiness in the blowing of a

> >bubble and watching it float away than most of will in our entire lives.

> >Think about how she will always love everyone unconditionally. Think

>about

> >how she will never hate. Then think about which one of you is

> " retarded " .

> >

> >Maybe this has become more of an issue today because society is changing,

> >slowly, to be sure, but changing nonetheless. The mentally handicapped

> >aren't being locked in their family's basement anymore. The mentally

> >handicapped aren't rotting like criminals in institutions. Our fellow

> >human

> >beings are walking among us, attending school with us, entering the work

> >force with us, asking for nothing but acceptance, giving nothing but

>love.

> >As we become more accepting and less hateful, more and more handicapped

> >individuals will finally be able to participate in the society that has

> >shunned them for so long. You will see more of them working in places

>you

> >go, at Dominic's, at Jewel, at Wal-Mart. Someday, I hope more than

> >anything, one of these people that you see will be my sister.

> >

> >I want to leave you with one last thought. I didn't ask to have a

>mentally

> >handicapped sister. She didn't choose to be mentally handicapped. But I

> >wouldn't trade it for anything. I have learned infinitely more from her

> >simple words and love than I have from any classroom of " higher

>education " .

> >I only hope that, one-day, each of you will open your hearts enough to

> >experience true unconditional love, because that is all any of them want

>to

> >give. I hope that, someday, someone will love you as much as Olivia

>loves

> >me. I hope that, someday, you will love somebody as much as I love her.

>I

> >love you, Olivia. "

> >

> >Soeren Palumbo

> >

> >

> >

>

>_________________________________________________________________

>Download Messenger. Join the i'm Initiative. Help make a difference today.

>http://im.live.com/messenger/im/home/?source=TAGHM_APR07

>

>

>

>CHARGE SYNDROME LISTSERV PHOTO PAGE:

>http://www.imagestation.com/album/?id=2117043995

>

>Membership of this email support group does not constitute membership in

>the CHARGE Syndrome Foundation; for information about the CHARGE Syndrome

>Foundation or to become a member (and get the newsletter),

>please contact marion@... or visit

>the web site at http://www.chargesyndrome.org

>

>8th International

>CHARGE Syndrome Conference, July, 2007. Information will be available at

>www.chargesyndrome.org or by calling 1-.

>

[Guest guest]

Thank you, . I will check that out. ck

>

>Reply-To: CHARGE

>To: CHARGE >

>Subject: RE: The R Word

>Date: Tue, 1 May 2007 18:27:10 -0500

>

>Cindy-

>It is a big deal. BTW -- The Arc nationally has officially changed its

>name

>to simply the Arc -- no acronym for anything. Before it was an acronym and

>printed in capitol letters ARC. Some local chapters have not made the

>change official. It wouldn't hurt to approach your local chapter and ask

>that they do.

>

>Have you visited www.disabilityisnatural.com? Kathie Snow has a very good

>downloadable brochure on People First Language.

>

>Michele W

>

_________________________________________________________________

Get a FREE Web site, company branded e-mail and more from Microsoft Office

Live! http://clk.atdmt.com/MRT/go/mcrssaub0050001411mrt/direct/01/

[Guest guest]

Cindy-

An interesting website when you have lots of time is the MN Council of DD

(http://www.mnddc.org http://www.mnddc.org/> ). On the left side, you'll

see links to Parallels in Time I & II. They are slide shows of the history

of disability. Pretty powerful stuff. You'll see the history of

" feeble-minded " and " idiot " . On the one hand, it is sickening to think of

where our kids would be if they were born just a short time ago or in a

different place. But it is encouraging to know that changes have been made

over time and almost always by the efforts of parents.

Michele W

[Guest guest]

Cindy,

my age is showing!!! smile!! Feeble minded and dumb are archaic but I know

elderly people who still have them as part of their vocabularies--my point was

only to show the (slow) changes in terms of language. In Mass. we don't use

" cognitively impaired " (although some people used it and/or mentally impaired,

but it was not an " official designation), but for children under 9, the terms

are developmentally delayed and over 9, intellectually impaired. Different

states have chosen different words and they don't necessarily translate from

state to state. Our job is to make sure the language is respectful and clear.

Of course, some people (parents, educators) will chose to use whatever phrase

feels right to them--and I usually use listen to the parents and use what they

use.

pam

The R Word

> >Date: Tue, 1 May 2007 12:31:33 -0500

> >

> >

> >

> >This is just too powerful not to share -- a speech by a high school

>senior

> >to his classmates. Please spread it far and wide.

> >

> >http://cbs2chicago.com/topstories/local_story_112214637.html

> >

> >Here is Soeren's speech - -the start of it all --

> >

> > " I want to tell you a quick story before I start. I was walking through

> >hallways, not minding my own business, listening to the conversations

> >around

> >me. As I passed the front door on my way to my English classroom, I

>heard

> >the dialogue between two friends nearby. For reasons of privacy, I would

> >rather not give away their race or gender. So the one girl leans to the

> >other, pointing to the back of a young man washing the glass panes of the

> >front door, and says, " Oh my gaw! I think it is so cute that our school

> >brings in the black kids from around the district to wash our windows! "

> >The

> >other girl looked up, widened her slanted Asian eyes and called to the

> >window washer, easily loud enough for him to hear, " Hey, Negro! You

>missed

> >a spot! " The young man did not turn around. The first girl smiled a

>bland

> >smile that all white girls - hell, all white people - have and walked on.

> >A

> >group of Mexicans stood by and laughed that high pitch laugh that all of

> >them have.

> >

> > So now it's your turn. What do you think the black window

> >washer did? What would you do in that situation? Do you think he turned

> >and calmly explained the fallacies of racism and showed the girls the

>error

> >of their way? That's the one thing that makes racism, or any

> >discrimination, less powerful in my mind. No matter how biased or

>bigoted

> >a

> >comment or action may be, the guy can turn around and explain why racism

>is

> >wrong and, if worst comes to worst, punch em in the face. Discrimination

> >against those who can defend themselves, obviously, cannot survive. What

> >would be far worse is if we discriminated against those who cannot defend

> >themselves.

> >

> > What then, could be worse than racism? Look around you and

> >thank God that we don't live in a world that discriminates and despises

> >those who cannot defend themselves. Thank God that every one of us in

>this

> >room, in this school hates racism and sexism and by that logic

> >discrimination in general. Thank God that every one in this institution

>is

> >dedicated to the ideal of mutual respect and love for our fellow human

> >beings. Then pinch yourself for living in a dream. Then pinch the

> >hypocrites sitting next to you. Then pinch the hypocrite that is you.

> >Pinch yourself once for each time you have looked at one of your fellow

> >human beings with a mental handicap and laughed. Pinch yourself for each

> >and every time you denounced discrimination only to turn and hate those

> >around you without the ability to defend themselves, the only ones around

> >you without the ability to defend themselves. Pinch yourself for each

>time

> >you have called someone else a " retard " .

> >

> > If you have been wondering about my opening story, I'll tell

> >you

> >that it didn't happen, not as I described it. Can you guess what I

> >changed?

> >No, it wasn't the focused hate on one person, and no it wasn't the

>slanted

> >Asian eyes or cookie cutter features white people have or that shrill

> >Hispanic hyena laugh (yeah, it hurts when people make assumptions about

> >your

> >person and use them against you doesn't it?). The girl didn't say " hey

> >Negro. " There was no black person. It was a mentally handicapped boy

> >washing the windows. It was " Hey retard. " I removed the word retard. I

> >removed the word that destroys the dignity of our most innocent. I

>removed

> >the single most hateful word in the entire English language.

> >

> >I don't understand why we use the word; I don't think I ever will. In

>such

> >an era of political correctness, why is it that retard is still ok? Why

>do

> >we allow it? Why don't we stop using the word? Maybe students can't

> >handle

> >stopping- I hope that offends you students, it was meant to - but I don't

> >think the adults, here can either. Students, look at your teacher, look

>at

> >every member of this faculty. I am willing to bet that every one of them

> >would throw a fit if they heard the word faggot or nigger - hell the word

> >Negro - used in their classroom. But how many of them would raise a

>finger

> >against the word retard? How many of them have? Teachers, feel free to

> >raise your hand or call attention to yourself through some other means if

> >you have. That's what I thought. Clearly, this obviously isn't a

>problem

> >contained within our age group.

> >

> > So why am I doing this? Why do I risk being misunderstood

>and

> >resented by this school's student body and staff? Because I know how

>much

> >you can learn from people, all people, even - no, not even, especially -

> >the

> >mentally handicapped. I know this because every morning I wake up and I

> >come downstairs and I sit across from my sister, quietly eating her

> >cheerio's. And as I sit down she sets her spoon down on the table and

>she

> >looks at me, her strawberry blonde hair hanging over her freckled face

> >almost completely hides the question mark shaped scar above her ear from

> >her

> >brain surgery two Christmases ago. She looks at me and she smiles. She

> >has

> >a beautiful smile; it lights up her face. Her two front teeth are

>faintly

> >stained from the years of intense epilepsy medication but I don't notice

> >that anymore. I lean over to her and say, " Good morning, Olivia. " She

> >stares at me for a moment and says quickly, " Good morning, Soeren, " and

> >goes

> >back to her cheerio's. I sit there for a minute, thinking about what to

> >say. " What are you going to do at school today, Olivia? " She looks up

> >again. " Gonna see Mista Bee! " she replies loudly, hugging herself

>slightly

> >and looking up. Mr. B. is her gym teacher and perhaps her favorite man

> >outside of our family on the entire planet and Olivia is thoroughly

> >convinced that she will be having gym class every day of the week. I

>like

> >to view it as wishful thinking. She finishes her cheerio's and grabs her

> >favorite blue backpack and waits for her bus driver, Miss Debbie, who,

>like

> >clockwork, arrives at our house at exactly 7'o'clock each morning. She

> >gives me a quick hug goodbye and runs excitedly to the bus, ecstatic for

> >another day of school.

> >

> >And I watch the bus disappear around the turn and I can't help but

>remember

> >the jokes. The short bus. The retard rocket. No matter what she does,

>no

> >matter how much she loves those around her, she will always be the butt

>of

> >some immature kid's joke. She will always be the butt of some mature

>kid's

> >joke. She will always be the butt of some " adult's " joke. By no fault

>of

> >her own, she will spend her entire life being stared at and judged.

> >Despite

> >the fact that she will never hate, never judge, never make fun of, never

> >hurt, she will never be accepted. That's why I'm doing this. I'm doing

> >this because I don't think you understand how much you hurt others when

>you

> >hate. And maybe you don't realize that you hate. But that's what is;

>your

> >pre-emptive dismissal of them, your dehumanization of them, your mockery

>of

> >them, it's nothing but another form of hate. It's more hateful than

> >racism,

> >more hateful than sexism, more hateful than anything. I'm doing this so

> >that each and every one of you, student or teacher, thinks before the

>next

> >time you use the word " retard " , before the next time you shrug off

>someone

> >else's use of the word " retard " . Think of the people you hurt, both the

> >mentally handicapped and those who love them. If you have to, think of

>my

> >sister. Think about how she can find more happiness in the blowing of a

> >bubble and watching it float away than most of will in our entire lives.

> >Think about how she will always love everyone unconditionally. Think

>about

> >how she will never hate. Then think about which one of you is

> " retarded " .

> >

> >Maybe this has become more of an issue today because society is changing,

> >slowly, to be sure, but changing nonetheless. The mentally handicapped

> >aren't being locked in their family's basement anymore. The mentally

> >handicapped aren't rotting like criminals in institutions. Our fellow

> >human

> >beings are walking among us, attending school with us, entering the work

> >force with us, asking for nothing but acceptance, giving nothing but

>love.

> >As we become more accepting and less hateful, more and more handicapped

> >individuals will finally be able to participate in the society that has

> >shunned them for so long. You will see more of them working in places

>you

> >go, at Dominic's, at Jewel, at Wal-Mart. Someday, I hope more than

> >anything, one of these people that you see will be my sister.

> >

> >I want to leave you with one last thought. I didn't ask to have a

>mentally

> >handicapped sister. She didn't choose to be mentally handicapped. But I

> >wouldn't trade it for anything. I have learned infinitely more from her

> >simple words and love than I have from any classroom of " higher

>education " .

> >I only hope that, one-day, each of you will open your hearts enough to

> >experience true unconditional love, because that is all any of them want

>to

> >give. I hope that, someday, someone will love you as much as Olivia

>loves

> >me. I hope that, someday, you will love somebody as much as I love her.

>I

> >love you, Olivia. "

> >

> >Soeren Palumbo

> >

> >

> >

>

>_________________________________________________________________

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>

>

>

>CHARGE SYNDROME LISTSERV PHOTO PAGE:

>http://www.imagestation.com/album/?id=2117043995

>

>Membership of this email support group does not constitute membership in

>the CHARGE Syndrome Foundation; for information about the CHARGE Syndrome

>Foundation or to become a member (and get the newsletter),

>please contact marion@... or visit

>the web site at http://www.chargesyndrome.org

>

>8th International

>CHARGE Syndrome Conference, July, 2007. Information will be available at

>www.chargesyndrome.org or by calling 1-.

>

[Guest guest]

Hey Martha,

You would think that anyone with half a brain would think about the

ramifications of " lock down " and just naturally start talking to people who are

part of the patient's " sphere " . But, ahh , then again, that would be going down

Logic Road which we all know is a DEAD END!!!

I am glad to hear that your are looking for a cause (means your brain is still

intact!) but not so happy to hear about your limited mobility. Take your

doctor's orders--REST--so you can come back to us with all guns blazing!!!

xo

pam

RE: The R Word

Michele,

My brain still ain't acting as it should (at least I have an excuse!), but

you've phrased things much better than I could right now. Yes, it is our

kids' vulnerabilities that I want to write about in coming days. I am heart

sick about what I experienced without sensory impairments; I MUST work

toward something that will keep as safe as possible when things go

wrong --- as they will on and off. Is it possible to REQUIRE hospitals to

notify parents and guardians before a " lock down??? " I would have

assumed that this was the norm but perhaps the law needs to be

amended --- and I need just that sort of limited cause to get my teeth into

now.

and I stopped by to see Miss K. this afternoon - beside

herself to see E.; she'll come over late tomorrow afternoon and spend the

night. Then, we bought some plants. E. picked up on my fatigue before I

did - with a gentle, " you've had a big day. " So, going out for an hour or so

is now a great big deal. Ugh. But we're moving forward.

Martha (who will probably need to vent several times a day until I can

walk for more than 5 minutes...)

[Guest guest]

martha i cant believe that i never thought u were that old i allwasy

pictutred u as about the age of mums sis who has three adult kids and shes

51 now if ur any older than lizzie ill b real surpised LOL love u hugs

>

> Hey Martha,

> You would think that anyone with half a brain would think about the

> ramifications of " lock down " and just naturally start talking to people who

> are part of the patient's " sphere " . But, ahh , then again, that would be

> going down Logic Road which we all know is a DEAD END!!!

> I am glad to hear that your are looking for a cause (means your brain is

> still intact!) but not so happy to hear about your limited mobility. Take

> your doctor's orders--REST--so you can come back to us with all guns

> blazing!!!

> xo

> pam

>

> RE: The R Word

>

> Michele,

> My brain still ain't acting as it should (at least I have an excuse!), but

>

> you've phrased things much better than I could right now. Yes, it is our

> kids' vulnerabilities that I want to write about in coming days. I am

> heart

> sick about what I experienced without sensory impairments; I MUST work

> toward something that will keep as safe as possible when things go

> wrong --- as they will on and off. Is it possible to REQUIRE hospitals to

> notify parents and guardians before a " lock down??? " I would have

> assumed that this was the norm but perhaps the law needs to be

> amended --- and I need just that sort of limited cause to get my teeth

> into

> now.

> and I stopped by to see Miss K. this afternoon - beside

> herself to see E.; she'll come over late tomorrow afternoon and spend the

> night. Then, we bought some plants. E. picked up on my fatigue before I

> did - with a gentle, " you've had a big day. " So, going out for an hour or

> so

> is now a great big deal. Ugh. But we're moving forward.

> Martha (who will probably need to vent several times a day until I can

> walk for more than 5 minutes...)

>

>

[Guest guest]

michelle ive seen tat story once befor on here i hate the word retard its

stupid but its another label and oen we need to get rid of hugs

>

> martha i cant believe that i never thought u were that old i allwasy

> pictutred u as about the age of mums sis who has three adult kids and shes

> 51 now if ur any older than lizzie ill b real surpised LOL love u hugs

>

>

> >

> > Hey Martha,

> > You would think that anyone with half a brain would think about the

> > ramifications of " lock down " and just naturally start talking to people who

> > are part of the patient's " sphere " . But, ahh , then again, that would be

> > going down Logic Road which we all know is a DEAD END!!!

> > I am glad to hear that your are looking for a cause (means your brain is

> > still intact!) but not so happy to hear about your limited mobility. Take

> > your doctor's orders--REST--so you can come back to us with all guns

> > blazing!!!

> > xo

> > pam

> >

> > RE: The R Word

> >

> > Michele,

> > My brain still ain't acting as it should (at least I have an excuse!),

> > but

> > you've phrased things much better than I could right now. Yes, it is our

> >

> > kids' vulnerabilities that I want to write about in coming days. I am

> > heart

> > sick about what I experienced without sensory impairments; I MUST work

> > toward something that will keep as safe as possible when things go

> >

> > wrong --- as they will on and off. Is it possible to REQUIRE hospitals

> > to

> > notify parents and guardians before a " lock down??? " I would have

> > assumed that this was the norm but perhaps the law needs to be

> > amended --- and I need just that sort of limited cause to get my teeth

> > into

> > now.

> > and I stopped by to see Miss K. this afternoon - beside

> > herself to see E.; she'll come over late tomorrow afternoon and spend

> > the

> > night. Then, we bought some plants. E. picked up on my fatigue before I

> > did - with a gentle, " you've had a big day. " So, going out for an hour

> > or so

> > is now a great big deal. Ugh. But we're moving forward.

> > Martha (who will probably need to vent several times a day until I can

> > walk for more than 5 minutes...)

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

I'm late on the uptake, but from where I'm at, studying all the histories

> of everything, things change over time as we become more educated and ideas

> and minds evolve. I think it just takes longer for certain people, groups,

> etc to " evolve " . I see it like this: we are not exactly uniform as human

> beings in any other type of development, so development of thoughts and

> ideas is no different. They'll get there hopefully, it might just take

> longer in certain areas for certain people.

>

Lis

Mom to Kennedy

www.chargesyndrome.info

>

--

" It is far better to grasp the universe as it really is than to persist in

delusion, however satisfying and reassuring. " --Carl Sagan

[Guest guest]

The Knights of Columbus in our area--finally--changed the wording on

the vests they wear while collecting money to " help mentally

handicapped. " A little better.

> The word is still misused by those collecting money for " retarded

> citizens "

[Guest guest]

Not much of an improvement. I hate the word " handicapped " also. Argh.

Michele W

_____

From: CHARGE [mailto:CHARGE ] On Behalf Of

Joanne Lent

Sent: Wednesday, May 02, 2007 5:37 AM

To: CHARGE

Subject: Re: The R Word

The Knights of Columbus in our area--finally--changed the wording on

the vests they wear while collecting money to " help mentally

handicapped. " A little better.

> The word is still misused by those collecting money for " retarded

> citizens "

[Guest guest]

ill tell u a story u mite find amuzing kinda do with those words one day at

nrothcot we were talkign one of the keyworkers that works with the place is

in a chair and oen of the people said he felt sorry for him and the carer

was like that is belittling and we r all going y and its just this this

person can get out in the world drive his car and well just was an

interesting way of putting it LOL

>

> Not much of an improvement. I hate the word " handicapped " also. Argh.

>

> Michele W

>

> _____

>

> From: CHARGE [mailto:

> CHARGE ] On Behalf Of

> Joanne Lent

> Sent: Wednesday, May 02, 2007 5:37 AM

> To: CHARGE

> Subject: Re: The R Word

>

> The Knights of Columbus in our area--finally--changed the wording on

> the vests they wear while collecting money to " help mentally

> handicapped. " A little better.

>

>

>

> > The word is still misused by those collecting money for " retarded

> > citizens "

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi,

I have always said that is Challenged. Our kids are

challenged more in the first few years of their lives than most of us

are in our entire lives. Being witness to 's strenght in his day

to day challenges makes me strive to be a better person. Our kids

bravery, strenght and goodness leave me in awe.

mom to 31

>

> Cindy,

> my age is showing!!! smile!! Feeble minded and dumb are archaic

but I know elderly people who still have them as part of their

vocabularies--my point was only to show the (slow) changes in terms

of language. In Mass. we don't use " cognitively impaired " (although

some people used it and/or mentally impaired, but it was not

an " official designation), but for children under 9, the terms are

developmentally delayed and over 9, intellectually impaired.

Different states have chosen different words and they don't

necessarily translate from state to state. Our job is to make sure

the language is respectful and clear. Of course, some people

(parents, educators) will chose to use whatever phrase feels right to

them--and I usually use listen to the parents and use what they use.

>

> pam

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

What upsets me the most about the word Retarded, is that what was

once a definition, is now used as a slur. While one could certainly

argue the correctness or appropriateness of words that were once

definitions- such as feeble minded, idiot, retarded or moron, the

fact remains that they were once medical or psychological

definitions, and now they are simply bad words like any other Bad

word in our language! That's the sad part of it! My beautiful,

amazing little Lucas, should never be equated with something

negative - he is a miracle with a great purpose. I feel we all need

to express to people how we feel about the use of this word each time

we hear it in passing. Otherwise any new terminilogy we come up with

will eventually become a " bad " word too. We need to change peoples'

perceptions about disabilities.

Just like we all probably know some older people who dont know how

inappropriate it is to use words such as colored to refer to African

Americans, there are many many more people walking around who dont

realize how the " R' word sounds. Thats our job to change.

I am currently in a course that is held in many states around the US

titled " Partners In Policymaking " . Check it out online - it teaches

us how to advocate for changes in the way people with disabilies are

views, educated, live, work, etc. Its an exciting class!