RE: if you were coming home now....

[Guest guest]

Well my mom came over a lot the 1st month and helped upkeep the

house. It was so helpful, the most helpful thing my mother in law

did was she bought some odds and ends we needs like snacks and

toliet paper. Sometimes the littlest things are the best things.

Also when people offered to watch the boys for me was very helpful

so I could catch up on sleep while Eva slept. I never trusted anyone

to really watch Eva til she was much older.

Crystal

>

> Dear CHARGE list-

>

> I would greatly appreciate your input to help me be helpful...

>

> When you came home with your precious baby - what things did

people do for you that really helped? What things do you wish

someone (anyone) did? What things did people do that drove you

batty?

>

> I think not only will this help me not overwhelm the family going

home with my good intentions and my seventeen years as a CHARGE

parent, but some of the unpleasant memories might help them have a

prepared vantage point for the small interpersonal bumps that are

surely ahead....

>

> thank you all AGAIN!!!

>

> in love,

> yuka

>

> p.s. In this process I have become overwhelmed at what we so

gratefully accept in our lives - with gratitude and the will to make

it all joy.

>

>

[Guest guest]

My Mum wrote a story thing a while ago... i should type it up and post it...

>

> Well my mom came over a lot the 1st month and helped upkeep the

> house. It was so helpful, the most helpful thing my mother in law

> did was she bought some odds and ends we needs like snacks and

> toliet paper. Sometimes the littlest things are the best things.

> Also when people offered to watch the boys for me was very helpful

> so I could catch up on sleep while Eva slept. I never trusted anyone

> to really watch Eva til she was much older.

>

> Crystal

>

>

> >

> > Dear CHARGE list-

> >

> > I would greatly appreciate your input to help me be helpful...

> >

> > When you came home with your precious baby - what things did

> people do for you that really helped? What things do you wish

> someone (anyone) did? What things did people do that drove you

> batty?

> >

> > I think not only will this help me not overwhelm the family going

> home with my good intentions and my seventeen years as a CHARGE

> parent, but some of the unpleasant memories might help them have a

> prepared vantage point for the small interpersonal bumps that are

> surely ahead....

> >

> > thank you all AGAIN!!!

> >

> > in love,

> > yuka

> >

> > p.s. In this process I have become overwhelmed at what we so

> gratefully accept in our lives - with gratitude and the will to make

> it all joy.

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Yuka-

I appreciated meals, people who cared for while I had to be with

Aubrie at the hospital or dr appts, and people who would volunteer to sit

with her while I napped on those days when I was gonna lose my mind from

lack of sleep.

Michele

_____

From: CHARGE [mailto:CHARGE ] On Behalf Of

Yuka Persico

Sent: Thursday, June 21, 2007 2:16 PM

To: CHARGE

Subject: if you were coming home now....

Dear CHARGE list-

I would greatly appreciate your input to help me be helpful...

When you came home with your precious baby - what things did people do for

you that really helped? What things do you wish someone (anyone) did? What

things did people do that drove you batty?

I think not only will this help me not overwhelm the family going home with

my good intentions and my seventeen years as a CHARGE parent, but some of

the unpleasant memories might help them have a prepared vantage point for

the small interpersonal bumps that are surely ahead....

thank you all AGAIN!!!

in love,

yuka

p.s. In this process I have become overwhelmed at what we so gratefully

accept in our lives - with gratitude and the will to make it all joy.

[Guest guest]

Oh- another helpful thing - a friend came over and decorated our Christmas

tree. I just couldn't do it. I know this isn't the time of year, but there

may be some kind of similar help for this family - closing up the pool at

the end of the season or something.

Michele W

_____

From: CHARGE [mailto:CHARGE ] On Behalf Of

Yuka Persico

Sent: Thursday, June 21, 2007 2:16 PM

To: CHARGE

Subject: if you were coming home now....

Dear CHARGE list-

I would greatly appreciate your input to help me be helpful...

When you came home with your precious baby - what things did people do for

you that really helped? What things do you wish someone (anyone) did? What

things did people do that drove you batty?

I think not only will this help me not overwhelm the family going home with

my good intentions and my seventeen years as a CHARGE parent, but some of

the unpleasant memories might help them have a prepared vantage point for

the small interpersonal bumps that are surely ahead....

thank you all AGAIN!!!

in love,

yuka

p.s. In this process I have become overwhelmed at what we so gratefully

accept in our lives - with gratitude and the will to make it all joy.

[Guest guest]

Dear, dear Yuka,

I haven't had time to read beyond the first post on my list (i.e., the

latest),

but certain things stand out in regard to our homecoming needs.

1) A very few people prepared meals for us (a ritual in our university

department). These were a god-send.

2) Oddly, the thing that mattered most was friends coming to see ME

and . Very few did, but they meant so darn much. People, in general,

seemed very ill-at-ease, which hurt.

3) My sister-in-law (far from my favorite person) flew here and stayed for

ages. She's in peds, went to St. Louis Childrens with us ---

4) She also took at night in the St. L. hotel when we were there for

tests. I got some sleep. was so squirmy that Lynn sent her back to

my room after several hours. Somehow, this MADE me realize that I had to

be the mother. I don't think I ever shared this with the list, but at this

point

we'd been told that would quickly die --- and it was agony for me to

hold her in the hotel bed. Until I did...

5) Cards and letters from relatives and friends I hadn't heard from in

years. Few people sent actual gifts, but those who did will always be in

my heart - and 's.

So, food and demonstrations of caring were the biggest things for Andy,

, and me. We live far from family, but the friends who helped,

helped to pull us through the early months. Martha

[Guest guest]

Yuka-

Also-In the beginning, it was impossible to go to doctor appts alone.

Aubrie was vomiting terribly, I was still pumping breast milk and feeding it

via tube. so a friend always came with to appts. It wasn't always the same

friend. But someone was nearly always able to go with me. Keep in mind it

was a day long trip as we are 2+ hours from the Children's Hospital so these

folks had to take off work and make their own child care arrangements to

join me.

Michele W

[Guest guest]

I know this is very late but here are some things the people still do for me and

I appreciate it so much.

Ask me how I'm doing and how my family is doing - often

Offer play dates for siblings

Offer to watch the child so I could take a shower or do a load of laundry

Bring lunch or dinner or snacks

Call before going to the store to see if I need anything

My neighbors got together and paid for a housekeeper for a few weeks

Continued to invite me to things knowing I couldn't go - kept including me!

Listened - offered an outlet without looking at me like I was (or still am)

crazy

Lori Myers

if you were coming home now....

Dear CHARGE list-

I would greatly appreciate your input to help me be helpful...

When you came home with your precious baby - what things did people do for you

that really helped? What things do you wish someone (anyone) did? What things

did people do that drove you batty?

I think not only will this help me not overwhelm the family going home with my

good intentions and my seventeen years as a CHARGE parent, but some of the

unpleasant memories might help them have a prepared vantage point for the small

interpersonal bumps that are surely ahead....

thank you all AGAIN!!!

in love,

yuka

p.s. In this process I have become overwhelmed at what we so gratefully accept

in our lives - with gratitude and the will to make it all joy.

[Guest guest]

Lori, you have wonderful friends and neighbors. Reading this told me how

sensitive they were, and still are, to you and your family's needs. No doubt

they treat you like this because you treat them like that, too. You are a lucky

person for sure.

Thanks for the nice, very heartwarming message.

And Yuka, has the baby gone home from the hospital yet? I may have missed

updates, but it seems I haven't seen any in a while.

Mom to Kendra, , and Camille

if you were coming home now....

Dear CHARGE list-

I would greatly appreciate your input to help me be helpful...

When you came home with your precious baby - what things did people do for you

that really helped? What things do you wish someone (anyone) did? What things

did people do that drove you batty?

I think not only will this help me not overwhelm the family going home with my

good intentions and my seventeen years as a CHARGE parent, but some of the

unpleasant memories might help them have a prepared vantage point for the small

interpersonal bumps that are surely ahead....

thank you all AGAIN!!!

in love,

yuka

p.s. In this process I have become overwhelmed at what we so gratefully accept

in our lives - with gratitude and the will to make it all joy.

[Guest guest]

Thank you - I am amazed at how hard this is with such a wonderful support system

of friends and family near us. My heart goes out to the families who do not

have these wonderful people to hold them up. I definitely believe in the

" village " concept and would love the community or (sorry - I can't

remember) described years ago.

It is very interesting who stays (friends/family) and who goes. My best sources

of comfort were two friends (one very close and one not) who had lost

babies--they didn't even have to say anything to me - they just understood my

pain and really got it. Later, my now very good friend had triplets when

was 2-3 and Emma was born - and 's cardiologist's wife had twins soon after

- we each child-proofed our homes and we would go to each other's homes and have

a grown up lunch and visit/vent! This provided each of us with sanity and

support. As the children grew the relationships changed, but my friend with

triplets still " -proofs " her home before we come over and she is always so

willing to help me and my family. Life wouldn't be the same without that

friendship. I am so grateful for my friends and parents.

Lori Myers

if you were coming home now....

Dear CHARGE list-

I would greatly appreciate your input to help me be helpful...

When you came home with your precious baby - what things did people do for you

that really helped? What things do you wish someone (anyone) did? What things

did people do that drove you batty?

I think not only will this help me not overwhelm the family going home with my

good intentions and my seventeen years as a CHARGE parent, but some of the

unpleasant memories might help them have a prepared vantage point for the small

interpersonal bumps that are surely ahead....

thank you all AGAIN!!!

in love,

yuka

p.s. In this process I have become overwhelmed at what we so gratefully accept

in our lives - with gratitude and the will to make it all joy.

[Guest guest]

Your friends and family sound amazing - I would`ve loved any of that when I

brought Kennedy home!

>

> I know this is very late but here are some things the people still do

> for me and I appreciate it so much.

>

> Ask me how I'm doing and how my family is doing - often

> Offer play dates for siblings

> Offer to watch the child so I could take a shower or do a load of laundry

> Bring lunch or dinner or snacks

> Call before going to the store to see if I need anything

> My neighbors got together and paid for a housekeeper for a few weeks

> Continued to invite me to things knowing I couldn't go - kept including

> me!

> Listened - offered an outlet without looking at me like I was (or still

> am) crazy

>

> Lori Myers

>

> if you were coming home now....

>

> Dear CHARGE list-

>

> I would greatly appreciate your input to help me be helpful...

>

> When you came home with your precious baby - what things did people do for

> you that really helped? What things do you wish someone (anyone) did? What

> things did people do that drove you batty?

>

> I think not only will this help me not overwhelm the family going home

> with my good intentions and my seventeen years as a CHARGE parent, but some

> of the unpleasant memories might help them have a prepared vantage point for

> the small interpersonal bumps that are surely ahead....

>

> thank you all AGAIN!!!

>

> in love,

> yuka

>

> p.s. In this process I have become overwhelmed at what we so gratefully

> accept in our lives - with gratitude and the will to make it all joy.

>

>