Re: Re: people really stink....

[Guest guest]

Dear -

In my opinion, you never come off as though you have a chip on your shoulder.

From my understanding, you tell it like it is - no embellishment up or down -

you have blessed the challenges equally with the gifts - and you are generously

sharing your journey with me (us). I am really grateful for your voice, and I

am sure as the years move forward I will be able to realize more the gifts you

have given me (us) here. At minimum you have given me a sense of the terrain -

and that is preparation immeasurably valuable.

I was on the phone with another mom last week. Her son does not have CHARGE. He

is an adult who receives services for other reasons. I was picking her generous

brain and heart about SSI and other agencies for . She was expressing to

me her frustrations. She is a generous hearted person who is tremendously

willing and eager to share her story and offer people the answers she has found.

She has organized meetings and spoken to people individually and feels she is

not heard.

I found myself in the description of the people not listening. We have the

" deer caught in the headlights " look. We seem unresponsive at times. We act as

though we are grasping things, but the speaker can tell we are only barely

scratching the surface. People have shared with her answers they have " recently "

found only to deepen her injury - as she told them the same thing countless

times for months or years.

So, in seeing myself in these parents she lamented about, I encouraged her not

to give up, and to know that sometimes people need to hear the answer more than

once before they can recognize that it is even in the choice of answers.

Sometimes they need to hear it often and exhaust all the possibilities they can

entertain before they are able to see the path she lays before them. Sometimes

when we voice a concern we aren't really aware yet of all the ramifications and

can't see how the answer gifted to us applies. Sometimes as parents we are

just not " getting " the scope of the issue - either processing as best as we can,

our plates are too full or we are in some phase of denial. Sometimes we just

aren't ready yet.

I beg the same patience from you. I know in my heart you are giving me baskets

of jewels, but I can only see the ones I have learned to recognize form my

limited experience. Some jewels we can explore together and share in detail.

Some I wouldn't even know were jewels until you specifically educate me - and

even then it might feel academic. Then someday it will ring true - and as it's

happening I will remember " oh, exactly THIS is what she was writing about ! "

I only now am coming to appreciate how hard this journey has been for the

grandparents in my children's lives. As I find myself surrounded by

twenty-something's in my life, I think back. y and I were 27 when

came to us. How distraught and helpless our parents must have felt - and how

sad to see us become so tired and at times worn thin. And how much they share

our glory when we make good and gift of it all. And what must y and I have

looked like five years later with three little ones, no one walking, medical

equipment everywhere ...... only 32. When Grandma Liz posts about her beloved

grandson and his parents I think very tenderly upon my children's

grandparents.....

So, the short answer - no not at all - no chip on your shoulder. An open and

generous heart balanced with a wise and knowing mind.

yours-

yuka

Re: people really stink....

Yuka,

I sometimes feel that I may come off as having a chip on my shoulder,

>snip<

.