Martha Re: if you were coming home now....

June 21, 2007

Dear Martha-

Thank you so much for your reply. The second item you listed has happened in

abundance already, and it is mystifying, sad and such a waste of people's good

concern.

The story about you and at the hotel in St Louis is so deeply vulnerable

and beautiful in the way of parables....

I will be mindful of your words, hope to do good and hope to do no harm )

Yuka

RE: if you were coming home now....

Dear, dear Yuka,

I haven't had time to read beyond the first post on my list (i.e., the

latest),

but certain things stand out in regard to our homecoming needs.

1) A very few people prepared meals for us (a ritual in our university

department). These were a god-send.

2) Oddly, the thing that mattered most was friends coming to see ME

and . Very few did, but they meant so darn much. People, in general,

seemed very ill-at-ease, which hurt.

3) My sister-in-law (far from my favorite person) flew here and stayed for

ages. She's in peds, went to St. Louis Childrens with us ---

4) She also took at night in the St. L. hotel when we were there for

tests. I got some sleep. was so squirmy that Lynn sent her back to

my room after several hours. Somehow, this MADE me realize that I had to

be the mother. I don't think I ever shared this with the list, but at this

point

we'd been told that would quickly die --- and it was agony for me to

hold her in the hotel bed. Until I did...

5) Cards and letters from relatives and friends I hadn't heard from in

years. Few people sent actual gifts, but those who did will always be in

my heart - and 's.

So, food and demonstrations of caring were the biggest things for Andy,

, and me. We live far from family, but the friends who helped,

helped to pull us through the early months. Martha

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