Brand new to this ...

[Guest guest]

Hi everyone, I have just begun to research " what has happened to me "

on the internet, and I do believe that at 2am on Saturday morning, I

am officially obsessed with figuring out what happened/is

happening. It was too hard and caused too many tears just a few

days ago but now scouring the internet is all that I do. I was 20

weeks pregnant and suddenly, my baby's heart stopped. I found out

that my baby was dead at my 20 week ultrasound to find out if my

baby was a boy or a girl. This is my first pregnancy. And I, of

course, thought that nothing could possibly be wrong, all along I

was told that everything was " perfectly normal " all the way up until

the morning that I saw my baby was dead. The day following the

ultrasound, I was given a d&c and after I came out of general

anesthetia, my doctor told my husband and I that I " might have " a

heart shaped uterus...but that it could be fixed easily. She said

that the procedure is " very similar to a d&c " . But that is all she

told me. I have talked to her on the phone one time, but she will

tell me nothing until I go in for my post-op appointment--4 weeks

after the d&c. She told me that the reason for the long wait is

that it takes at least 4 weeks for the results from pathology.

Since it is Christmas and everything is busy, I can't get in to see

her until the 21st of December, and this all happened on November

17th. So I am just waiting, with extreme anxiety and fear, to find

out just exactly what happened. As I started to research a

bicornuate uterus, I came across the website. I am desperate to

talk with someone else with a similar experience. I cannot sleep, I

am still just barely getting through the day. It's been 3 weeks and

3 days. Yesterday I started to have pain (like a pulled muscle) on

my lower left side of my abdomen, but I don't know if it's just my

body still recovering. Or could I be ovulating again, getting ready

to start my first period? Anyone have any suggestions on what that

pain could be? I've also gained an enormous amount (for me) of

weight-20 pounds-since getting pregant. I can't eat much, and I have

started to exercise every day, but I the weight has not yet gone

down at all. It's making me nuts because I still wear maternity

pants, I can't stand anything else. If anyone has gone through a

similar situation at 20 weeks, any kind of insight, suggestions, any

anything, I'd love to talk to you. I still have moments where it

suddenly dawns on me that I am not pregnant anymore and it all comes

back...do you know what I mean? This grief is so immense. Thank you,

holly