Re: Brand new to this ...Holly

[Guest guest]

Holly,

I'm so sorry that you lost your baby. It is so, so painful and sad,

and no one should ever have to experience it.

I also lost my twins, one at 20 weeks and the other at 27 weeks just

after birth. The cause of my loss was twin-twin transfusion,

something that happens to identical twins, but it was probably

aggrevated by a BU/SU that the docs discovered during the whole

ordeal. My delivery and second loss was at the end of June (this

year), and I still feel overwhelmed by sadness some days. It comes

and goes. My husband and I were pretty open about all that we went

through. We had friends and family over to an open house/memorial a

month after we lost our sons, and that really helped us and others to

acknowledge our loss.

Your comments about the weight and maternity clothes are all too

familiar, too! I'm so sorry. That is really hard. I also had

gained 20 pounds, and it took me at least 4 months to lose it. At

the end I joined weight watchers online to get the last 8 pounds

off. It made me so sad to wear maternity clothes when I wasn't

pregnant and didn't have my sons with me. I ended up buying some

cheap clothes in bigger sizes until I lost the weight. Also my

hormones were pretty much messed up for a while, causing my face to

break out for a few months. It seems to me that after about 5 months

my body felt pretty normal again. It is so hard to wait that long

when you don't have your child with you.

It is hard to wait to get diagnosed. I saw doctors over the last few

months, and at first I was so anxious to try to get pregnant again

right away. The docs recommended for physical reasons that I wait

three cycles so that any infected tissue cleared out of my uterus.

But for emotional reasons, they all suggested that I wait 6 months to

try again. Now that 6 months are almost passed, I can see that we

really are in a different place emotionally and better prepared to

deal with another pregnancy.

In my case, two different REs diagnosed two different things - one

said septate uterus and the other bicornuate uterus. It seems like I

have a bicornuate, so we're going to try again without having

surgery. Because my losses had a lot of influential factors, the

docs don't think the BU or SU caused the loss. Since I got to 27

weeks, they think that with 1 inside my chances are much better. You

can imagine that it is really, really hard to know that there will be

any risk in the future. We could have surgery (lap/hyst), but decided

we'll do that if we have any trouble in the future.

Feel free to email me anytime (lbh60611@...) if you want to

talk. It really helps to walk through this with others, and it is

hard to face a loss and then deal with learning about all the issues

of the uterine anomolies.

Take care,

Laurie

SU/BU

lost twins Goran (20 wks) and Darren (27 wks, at birth) 6/05