RE: A little encouragement for Debi....

[Guest guest]

Dealing with a live-in parent is tricky. If I were in your position, I'd

have to simply take control of the kitchen back. She will not like it but

if you are to succeed then you need to take the steps necessary to succeed.

First and foremost, sit down and have a talk with your mom. Tell her quite

simply that you do not want her to cook unhealthy any longer. If she

refuses, then it's time for you to take over making the meals. Maybe you

can let her fix up one meal a week -- say Sunday evening's meal -- as a

compromise but you've GOT to get that kitchen under control.

When she buys junk food, don't let her stock it in the common areas -- she

can keep it in her room.

This thing about her wanting to lose weight and still buying/eating/cooking

unhealthy is pretty simple -- she doesn't REALLY want to lose weight.

Anyone not willing to make the sacrifices necessary clearly doesn't want the

results very badly.

Lastly, you need to sit your husband down for a reality check. He should be

supporting you in your endeavors and that includes this endeavor to eat

healthy. Heavy fat cooking, high sodium soups, and tons of sugar all

represent unhealthy eating. This is not rocket science -- any idiot can see

what this type of eating does to the body over a lengthy period of time and

if they can't, just get them the Super Size Me movie to watch and they'll

get a solid dose of it.

Your family enjoys eating these things your mother cooks up. I can

understand that -- I'll bet they taste delicious to their palates. Here's

the thing though -- their palates will adjust. When I went low sodium,

everything tasted bland. After several months, I began to notice all sorts

of flavors that I never even knew were in there. There are also ways they

can " add flavor " after a meal is prepared. For example, if they do not like

the stir fry you whip up, they can add shredded cheese to perk the flavor

up. Meat's too bland, salt it. Since potatoes are a staple for their

meals, compromise -- make them baked or even mashed potatoes, just don't

partake yourself.

I was talking with my wife last night (who is NOT doing SBD, by the way)

about how it never ceases to amaze me the difficulties of the 2-meal

household. We've easily adjusted our meals to suit my SBD preferences and

the whole family eats more healthy as a result. The kids still get their

morning sugar fix cereal (actually, they usually prefer Cheerios), we're

stuffed to the gills with chocolate (happy wife, happy life), and there's

real sugar in the cupboard not to mention regular pasta. On the other hand,

we eat mostly chicken or tuna, tons of vegetables, I have my whole grain

pastas (the kids can't tell the difference and eat both), a kitchen cabinet

that my wife sullenly gave up to my spices, and we're well stocked with

foods that are mostly SBD compliant. The ones that are NOT SBD friendly,

don't call to me in the night nor are they used every single day at every

single meal; they're mostly my wife's and kids', or for the occasional

guest. The kids eat what we give them or they do not eat. My wife eats

what I make or she'll make something on her own -- but even THAT tends to be

mostly SBD friendly. I usually do my experimental meals away from the

standard meals -- in other words, dinner tends to be known-good as opposed

to " whaddya think? " .

When I think of the " good stuff " that others are eating, I think about just

what they're doing to their bodies. Hmmmmm, let's see.... Yup, that

chicken sure looks tasty but hold on a sec, aren't they getting a ton of

saturated fat that will help clog their arteries leading to an early death

or heart disease at the least? Man oh man does that Mt Dew he's always

drinking at his desk sound good but hold on a sec, isn't that one of the

many things that brings on late onset diabetes due to insulin resistance?

Wow, my coworkers hit Mc's every day for lunch -- sure wish I could go

-- but hang on there, think about what happened to that guy in Super Size Me

when he ate it for every meal...even at 1 meal a day it can't be doing them

much better.

Let me ask you something here, Debi. You say you do all the natural

cleaning, get the bad stuff out of your home type work, right? What would

you do if your mom came into your home and insisted on using Pine Sol to

clean the kitchen, Scrubbing Bubbles for the bathroom, Windex for the

windows, and Tide for your laundry? You can't argue that Tide doesn't do a

good job cleaning clothes and making 'em fresh; that Windex doesn't leave

beautiful windows; that scrubbing Bubbles doesn't get that toilet and sink

top clean; and that the smell of Pine Sol isn't associated with clean floors

and such. In short, these products work. They get things clean, they

disinfect, they sanitize -- and we all know it, and we love it.

This is no different. These unhealthy foods are convenient, fill us up,

taste good and even make us FEEL good -- in other words, they do the trick.

I'm sure, in your classes, you teach people to take control.

It's time to take control.

[Guest guest]

Is Mom living with you or are you living with her? If you are the head of house

hold, I think you need to do the shopping and have your mom cook what is there.

Yes the foods she cooks may taste good but they are not healthy for your family.

MB

---- Original Message -----

From: Debi Clem

To: South-Beach-Diet-Getting-It-Right

Sent: Friday, November 04, 2005 11:30 PM

Subject: Re: A little encouragement for Debi....

Mostly it isn't what I make that's the problem. We live with my mom (moved in

when my Dad needed full time health care and now that he has passed she needs

us) My mom likes to fry everything. She uses high fat in everything If she

makes Roast Chicken or greenbeans she thinks it has to have creamy high fat

high salt soup added because that's the way my sons like it. Potatoes are a

staple with every meal and she is always making some high fat delicious dessert.

She does most of the cooking because she enjoys it. So not only do I have to

make my own food if I want something different but I also have to endure missing

out on the good things she makes. We also frequently have been fighting about

food because when we go to the store I try to get her to not buy the junk food

but she does she says she wants to lose weight but always buys something that

tempts me so I get upset and feel deprived. I could endure it better if I could

just start losing weight. But when you are

fighting this hard to lose weight and the scales stay the same and the inches

around my waist aren't changing you just get discouraged.

Noctaire noctaire@...> wrote:

What all are you making for your family that you can't eat? I never

understand the people who cook two meals -- there's nothing on this diet

that isn't ok for the family to eat and they can eat healthy too. We eat

stir fries, soups, casseroles, meat/veggie combos, and more -- the kids and

wife eat the same foods. Granted, other meals are pot luck (like lunch and

breakfast) but even they end up being SBD friendly on a regular basis.

Please send your recipes for inclusion in the Files to the Moderator at:

South-Beach-Diet-Getting-It-Right-owner

Reminder: The South Beach Diet is not low-carb. Nor is it low-fat. The South

Beach Diet teaches you to rely on the right carbs and the right fats-the good

ones - and enables you to live quite happily without the bad carbs and bad fats.

For more on this Way Of Eating please read " The South Beach Diet " by Arthur

Agatston, MD. ISBN 1-57954-814-8

[Guest guest]

The fact that you live with your MIL does complicate matters. I guess

you could either try to take over the cooking, but she probably feels

she is 'helping' by doing it, so she might give you a hard time. But,

I would still try to get her to see it your way, that you are into

health and nutrition and you want your family to eat healthily. When

my dad lived with us, he ate at a different time from us. He cooked

his own meal. And then I cooked for my husband and son and we ate at a

different time. I think I might suggest that to her, or even insist.

ann