Guest guest Posted March 9, 2001 Report Share Posted March 9, 2001 Thats so cute! LOL, Judy O Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 9, 2001 Report Share Posted March 9, 2001 Kids will be Kids...Did you hear about the teacher who was helping one of her kindergarten students put his boots on? He asked for help and she could see why. With her pulling and him pushing, the boots still didn't want to go on. When the second boot was on, she had worked up a sweat. She almost whimpered when the little boy said, & quot;Teacher, they're on the wrong feet. & quot; She looked, and sure enough, they were. It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on - this time on the right feet. He then announced, & quot;These aren't my boots. & quot; She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and scream, & quot;Why didn't you say so? & quot; like she wanted to. Once again she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off. He then said, & quot;They're my brother's boots. My Mom made me wear them. & quot; She didn't know if she should laugh or cry. She mustered up the grace to wrestle the boots on his feet again. She said, & quot;Now, where are your mittens? & quot; He said, & quot;I stuffed them in the toes of my boots... & quot; Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 13, 2001 Report Share Posted March 13, 2001 Oh!! Another groaner. I enjoyed them both. LOLOL > > > > > > > An Alaskan woodpecker and a Texas woodpecker were in > > > > Alaska arguing about which state had the toughest > > > > trees to peck. The Alaskan woodpecker said that they > > > > had a tree that no woodpecker can peck. The Texas > > > > woodpecker challenged him and was able to peck a hole > > > > in the tree with no problem. The Alaskan woodpecker > > > > was in awe. > > > > > > > > The Texas woodpecker challenged the Alaskan woodpecker > > > > to peck a tree in Texas that no woodpecker had been > > > > able to peck successfully. The Alaskan woodpecker > > > > expressed much confidence that he could do it. > > > > > > > > After flying to Texas and successfully pecking the > > > > tree in Texas, the two woodpeckers couldn't figure out > > > > why the Texas woodpecker was able to peck the Alaskan > > > > tree and the Alaskan woodpecker was able to peck the > > > > Texan tree when neither one was able to peck the tree > > > > in their own state. > > > > > > > > After thinking for some time they both came to the > > > > same conclusion: Your pecker is always harder when > > > > you're away from home. > > > > DISCLAIMER!! > WE ARE NOT MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS, THEREFORE ANY INFORMATION THAT IS RECEIVED HERE IS FROM EXPERIENCE ONLY. PLEASE CONSULT WITH YOUR DOCTOR BEFORE TRYING ANYTHING THAT IS SUGGESTED. WE ARE NOT A SUBSTITUTE FOR YOUR PHYSICIAN AND ARE NOT TRYING TO BE. REMEMBER EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT AND TREATMENT MAYBE DIFFERENT FOR MANY OF US. THANK YOU > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 13, 2001 Report Share Posted March 13, 2001 groannnnnnnnnnnnnnnn, loved it. dawn --- Sandy Catalusci biglou5685@...> wrote: > > Oh!! Another groaner. I enjoyed them both. LOLOL > > > > > > > > > > > An Alaskan woodpecker and a Texas > woodpecker were in > > > > > Alaska arguing about which state had the > toughest > > > > > trees to peck. The Alaskan woodpecker said > that they > > > > > had a tree that no woodpecker can peck. The > Texas > > > > > woodpecker challenged him and was able to > peck a hole > > > > > in the tree with no problem. The Alaskan > woodpecker > > > > > was in awe. > > > > > > > > > > The Texas woodpecker challenged the Alaskan > woodpecker > > > > > to peck a tree in Texas that no woodpecker > had been > > > > > able to peck successfully. The Alaskan > woodpecker > > > > > expressed much confidence that he could do > it. > > > > > > > > > > After flying to Texas and successfully > pecking the > > > > > tree in Texas, the two woodpeckers couldn't > figure out > > > > > why the Texas woodpecker was able to peck > the Alaskan > > > > > tree and the Alaskan woodpecker was able to > peck the > > > > > Texan tree when neither one was able to > peck the tree > > > > > in their own state. > > > > > > > > > > After thinking for some time they both came > to the > > > > > same conclusion: Your pecker is always > harder when > > > > > you're away from home. > > > > > > > > DISCLAIMER!! > > WE ARE NOT MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS, THEREFORE ANY > INFORMATION THAT IS > RECEIVED HERE IS FROM EXPERIENCE ONLY. PLEASE > CONSULT WITH YOUR DOCTOR > BEFORE TRYING ANYTHING THAT IS SUGGESTED. WE ARE NOT > A SUBSTITUTE FOR YOUR > PHYSICIAN AND ARE NOT TRYING TO BE. REMEMBER > EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT AND > TREATMENT MAYBE DIFFERENT FOR MANY OF US. THANK YOU > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 13, 2001 Report Share Posted March 13, 2001 Judee, Thanks that was a good one! Mike even like that one! Lots of Love Glenda --- IdahoJudee IdahoJudee@...> wrote: > > > > > > > An Alaskan woodpecker and a Texas woodpecker > were in > > > > Alaska arguing about which state had the > toughest > > > > trees to peck. The Alaskan woodpecker said > that they > > > > had a tree that no woodpecker can peck. The > Texas > > > > woodpecker challenged him and was able to > peck a hole > > > > in the tree with no problem. The Alaskan > woodpecker > > > > was in awe. > > > > > > > > The Texas woodpecker challenged the Alaskan > woodpecker > > > > to peck a tree in Texas that no woodpecker > had been > > > > able to peck successfully. The Alaskan > woodpecker > > > > expressed much confidence that he could do > it. > > > > > > > > After flying to Texas and successfully > pecking the > > > > tree in Texas, the two woodpeckers couldn't > figure out > > > > why the Texas woodpecker was able to peck the > Alaskan > > > > tree and the Alaskan woodpecker was able to > peck the > > > > Texan tree when neither one was able to peck > the tree > > > > in their own state. > > > > > > > > After thinking for some time they both came > to the > > > > same conclusion: Your pecker is always harder > when > > > > you're away from home. > > __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 13, 2001 Report Share Posted March 13, 2001 Judee, Thanks that was a good one! Mike even like that one! Lots of Love Glenda --- IdahoJudee IdahoJudee@...> wrote: > > > > > > > An Alaskan woodpecker and a Texas woodpecker > were in > > > > Alaska arguing about which state had the > toughest > > > > trees to peck. The Alaskan woodpecker said > that they > > > > had a tree that no woodpecker can peck. The > Texas > > > > woodpecker challenged him and was able to > peck a hole > > > > in the tree with no problem. The Alaskan > woodpecker > > > > was in awe. > > > > > > > > The Texas woodpecker challenged the Alaskan > woodpecker > > > > to peck a tree in Texas that no woodpecker > had been > > > > able to peck successfully. The Alaskan > woodpecker > > > > expressed much confidence that he could do > it. > > > > > > > > After flying to Texas and successfully > pecking the > > > > tree in Texas, the two woodpeckers couldn't > figure out > > > > why the Texas woodpecker was able to peck the > Alaskan > > > > tree and the Alaskan woodpecker was able to > peck the > > > > Texan tree when neither one was able to peck > the tree > > > > in their own state. > > > > > > > > After thinking for some time they both came > to the > > > > same conclusion: Your pecker is always harder > when > > > > you're away from home. > > __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 13, 2001 Report Share Posted March 13, 2001 Judee, Thanks that was a good one! Mike even like that one! Lots of Love Glenda --- IdahoJudee IdahoJudee@...> wrote: > > > > > > > An Alaskan woodpecker and a Texas woodpecker > were in > > > > Alaska arguing about which state had the > toughest > > > > trees to peck. The Alaskan woodpecker said > that they > > > > had a tree that no woodpecker can peck. The > Texas > > > > woodpecker challenged him and was able to > peck a hole > > > > in the tree with no problem. The Alaskan > woodpecker > > > > was in awe. > > > > > > > > The Texas woodpecker challenged the Alaskan > woodpecker > > > > to peck a tree in Texas that no woodpecker > had been > > > > able to peck successfully. The Alaskan > woodpecker > > > > expressed much confidence that he could do > it. > > > > > > > > After flying to Texas and successfully > pecking the > > > > tree in Texas, the two woodpeckers couldn't > figure out > > > > why the Texas woodpecker was able to peck the > Alaskan > > > > tree and the Alaskan woodpecker was able to > peck the > > > > Texan tree when neither one was able to peck > the tree > > > > in their own state. > > > > > > > > After thinking for some time they both came > to the > > > > same conclusion: Your pecker is always harder > when > > > > you're away from home. > > __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 14, 2001 Report Share Posted March 14, 2001 Judee, that was even worse than the Blonde cowboy! I should be ashamed for passing these on! However, here goes! LOL, JudyO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 18, 2001 Report Share Posted March 18, 2001 In a message dated 03/15/2001 4:11:40 PM Central Standard Time, IdahoJudee@... writes: << >> God help us!!! Judee, of course, this had to be from you! Makes you wonder doesn't it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 18, 2001 Report Share Posted March 18, 2001 In a message dated 03/15/2001 4:11:40 PM Central Standard Time, IdahoJudee@... writes: << >> God help us!!! Judee, of course, this had to be from you! Makes you wonder doesn't it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 19, 2001 Report Share Posted March 19, 2001 That was cute Heidi. Sandy > > Parentspeak . . . > > DUMBWAITER--One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert. > FAMILY PLANNING--The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart > to > keep you on the edge of financial disaster. > FEEDBACK--The inevitable result when your baby doesn't appreciate the > strained > carrots. > FULL NAME--What you call your child when you're mad at him. > GRANDPARENTS--The people who think your children are wonderful even though > they're sure you're not raising them right. > HEARSAY--What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word. > INDEPENDENT--How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we > say. > SHOW OFF--a child who is more talented than yours. > STERILIZE--what you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to > your > last baby's pacifier by blowing on it. > TOP BUNK--where you should never put a child wearing Superman pajamas. > TWO-MINUTE WARNING--when the baby's face turns red and she begins to make > those > familiar grunting noises > > > > DISCLAIMER!! > WE ARE NOT MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS, THEREFORE ANY INFORMATION THAT IS RECEIVED HERE IS FROM EXPERIENCE ONLY. PLEASE CONSULT WITH YOUR DOCTOR BEFORE TRYING ANYTHING THAT IS SUGGESTED. WE ARE NOT A SUBSTITUTE FOR YOUR PHYSICIAN AND ARE NOT TRYING TO BE. REMEMBER EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT AND TREATMENT MAYBE DIFFERENT FOR MANY OF US. THANK YOU > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 21, 2001 Report Share Posted March 21, 2001 Heidi, my kids not only got their full names, but also their Confirmation names (when they were REALLY close to getting killed! However, they did survive - I DESERVE A MEDAL!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL, Judy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 21, 2001 Report Share Posted March 21, 2001 Heidi, my kids not only got their full names, but also their Confirmation names (when they were REALLY close to getting killed! However, they did survive - I DESERVE A MEDAL!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL, Judy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 21, 2001 Report Share Posted March 21, 2001 Great ones Heidi! They are now circling the country! Love, Judy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 21, 2001 Report Share Posted March 21, 2001 Great ones Heidi! They are now circling the country! Love, Judy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 22, 2001 Report Share Posted March 22, 2001 Good one, Heidi, see what you can do when you are not working??? Love ya! Judy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 11, 2001 Report Share Posted April 11, 2001 Ick!!!!!!!!!! Judy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 11, 2001 Report Share Posted April 11, 2001 Ick!!!!!!!!!! Judy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 13, 2001 Report Share Posted April 13, 2001 Boy, Judee, ain't that the truth!! Love, Judy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 15, 2001 Report Share Posted April 15, 2001 MARILY GOOD ONE, L AUGHED OUT LOUD DAWN --- Marilyn Kucera godave@...> wrote: > WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE? > > This guy blows a stop sign and a cop sees > it so he pulls him over. > > Cop says, " License and registration please. " > > Guy, " For what? " > > Cop, " Well, sir, you didn't stop at the sign. " > > Guy, " I slowed down and no one was coming. " > > Cop, " You didn't come to a complete stop, license > and registration, PLEASE! " > > Guy, " What's the difference " > > Cop, " The difference is I wouldn't have pulled > you over if you'd stopped. " > > Guy, " I'll give you my license and registration if > you can show me the difference between slowing down > and stopping. " > > " Okay, I will " the cops says, " Get out of the car. " > > At this point the officer takes his billy club > out of the holster and begins to brutally beat > the you-know-what out of the guy. As the man is > screaming and crying, the officer yells loudly, > " NOW SIR, WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO SLOW DOWN OR COME > TO A COMPLETE STOP?!!! " > _________________________________________________________________ > > __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 16, 2001 Report Share Posted April 16, 2001 Judee, that was great! Love, Judy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 16, 2001 Report Share Posted April 16, 2001 Judee, that was great! Love, Judy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 16, 2001 Report Share Posted April 16, 2001 Judee, that was great! Love, Judy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 16, 2001 Report Share Posted April 16, 2001 LOL Judee, that was so funny. Thanks for all the many jokes you send us to brighter up our days. We all appreciate you so much! love, Lu The madam opened the brothel door to see an elderly man. His clothes were all disheveled and he looked needy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 16, 2001 Report Share Posted April 16, 2001 LOL Judee, that was so funny. Thanks for all the many jokes you send us to brighter up our days. We all appreciate you so much! love, Lu The madam opened the brothel door to see an elderly man. His clothes were all disheveled and he looked needy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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