Guest guest Posted April 16, 2001 Report Share Posted April 16, 2001 LOL Judee, that was so funny. Thanks for all the many jokes you send us to brighter up our days. We all appreciate you so much! love, Lu The madam opened the brothel door to see an elderly man. His clothes were all disheveled and he looked needy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 16, 2001 Report Share Posted April 16, 2001 In a message dated 04/13/2001 2:05:41 PM Central Daylight Time, godave@... writes: << NOW SIR, WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO SLOW DOWN OR COME TO A COMPLETE STOP?!!! " >> Ggood point! Thanks Love, Judy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 16, 2001 Report Share Posted April 16, 2001 In a message dated 04/13/2001 2:05:41 PM Central Daylight Time, godave@... writes: << NOW SIR, WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO SLOW DOWN OR COME TO A COMPLETE STOP?!!! " >> Ggood point! Thanks Love, Judy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 16, 2001 Report Share Posted April 16, 2001 In a message dated 04/13/2001 2:05:41 PM Central Daylight Time, godave@... writes: << NOW SIR, WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO SLOW DOWN OR COME TO A COMPLETE STOP?!!! " >> Ggood point! Thanks Love, Judy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 17, 2001 Report Share Posted April 17, 2001 In a message dated 04/16/2001 12:37:15 PM Central Daylight Time, IdahoJudee@... writes: << The madam opened the brothel door to see an elderly man. His clothes were all disheveled and he looked needy. >> Judee, that was hysterical! Thanks for the laugh! Judy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 17, 2001 Report Share Posted April 17, 2001 In a message dated 04/16/2001 12:37:15 PM Central Daylight Time, IdahoJudee@... writes: << The madam opened the brothel door to see an elderly man. His clothes were all disheveled and he looked needy. >> Judee, that was hysterical! Thanks for the laugh! Judy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 17, 2001 Report Share Posted April 17, 2001 In a message dated 04/16/2001 12:37:15 PM Central Daylight Time, IdahoJudee@... writes: << The madam opened the brothel door to see an elderly man. His clothes were all disheveled and he looked needy. >> Judee, that was hysterical! Thanks for the laugh! Judy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 23, 2001 Report Share Posted April 23, 2001 In a message dated 04/21/2001 3:13:26 PM Central Daylight Time, RCColloran@... writes: << Some time ago I was taking a walk and suddendly I see this little package >> on the street. I pick it up and it said in very little print " Place it on >> top of the organ, keep it moist and it will prevent any disease. " I >> haven't even had a cold since! Whatever works! Love, Judy >> >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 23, 2001 Report Share Posted April 23, 2001 In a message dated 04/21/2001 3:13:26 PM Central Daylight Time, RCColloran@... writes: << Some time ago I was taking a walk and suddendly I see this little package >> on the street. I pick it up and it said in very little print " Place it on >> top of the organ, keep it moist and it will prevent any disease. " I >> haven't even had a cold since! Whatever works! Love, Judy >> >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 23, 2001 Report Share Posted April 23, 2001 Good one Marilyn! Sandy ----- Original Message ----- > EXAMINATIONS > > > > > > > > > > A beautiful young girl is about to undergo a minor operation. > She's > > > > > laid on a rolling bed by the nurse and brought to the corridor. > > > > > Before they enter the room, she leaves her behind the surgery > room > > > > > door to go in and check whether everything is ready. > > > > > > > > > > A young man wearing a white coat approaches, takes the sheet > away > > and > > > > > starts examining her naked body. He walks away and talks to > another > > > > > man in a white coat. The second man comes > > > > > over and does the same examinations. > > > > > > > > > > When a third man starts examining her body so closely, she grows > > > > > > impatient and says, " All these examinations are fine and > > appreciated, > > > > > but when are you going to start the operation? " > > > > > The man in the white coat shrugged his shoulders. " I have no > idea. > > > > > We're just painting the corridor. " > > > > > > > > > > > > > > DISCLAIMER!! > WE ARE NOT MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS, THEREFORE ANY INFORMATION THAT IS RECEIVED HERE IS FROM EXPERIENCE ONLY. PLEASE CONSULT WITH YOUR DOCTOR BEFORE TRYING ANYTHING THAT IS SUGGESTED. WE ARE NOT A SUBSTITUTE FOR YOUR PHYSICIAN AND ARE NOT TRYING TO BE. REMEMBER EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT AND TREATMENT MAYBE DIFFERENT FOR MANY OF US. THANK YOU > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 23, 2001 Report Share Posted April 23, 2001 Good one Marilyn! Sandy ----- Original Message ----- > EXAMINATIONS > > > > > > > > > > A beautiful young girl is about to undergo a minor operation. > She's > > > > > laid on a rolling bed by the nurse and brought to the corridor. > > > > > Before they enter the room, she leaves her behind the surgery > room > > > > > door to go in and check whether everything is ready. > > > > > > > > > > A young man wearing a white coat approaches, takes the sheet > away > > and > > > > > starts examining her naked body. He walks away and talks to > another > > > > > man in a white coat. The second man comes > > > > > over and does the same examinations. > > > > > > > > > > When a third man starts examining her body so closely, she grows > > > > > > impatient and says, " All these examinations are fine and > > appreciated, > > > > > but when are you going to start the operation? " > > > > > The man in the white coat shrugged his shoulders. " I have no > idea. > > > > > We're just painting the corridor. " > > > > > > > > > > > > > > DISCLAIMER!! > WE ARE NOT MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS, THEREFORE ANY INFORMATION THAT IS RECEIVED HERE IS FROM EXPERIENCE ONLY. PLEASE CONSULT WITH YOUR DOCTOR BEFORE TRYING ANYTHING THAT IS SUGGESTED. WE ARE NOT A SUBSTITUTE FOR YOUR PHYSICIAN AND ARE NOT TRYING TO BE. REMEMBER EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT AND TREATMENT MAYBE DIFFERENT FOR MANY OF US. THANK YOU > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 23, 2001 Report Share Posted April 23, 2001 In a message dated 04/22/2001 4:31:05 PM Central Daylight Time, IdahoJudee@... writes: << You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes? Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance? And the " black Box " is orange! Judy >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 23, 2001 Report Share Posted April 23, 2001 In a message dated 04/22/2001 4:31:05 PM Central Daylight Time, IdahoJudee@... writes: << You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes? Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance? And the " black Box " is orange! Judy >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 23, 2001 Report Share Posted April 23, 2001 In a message dated 04/22/2001 4:31:05 PM Central Daylight Time, IdahoJudee@... writes: << hy is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin? >> Priceless, I guess it's to keep people like me from sstting up in the coffin when they play " Here I am Lord! " Love Judy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 23, 2001 Report Share Posted April 23, 2001 In a message dated 04/22/2001 4:31:05 PM Central Daylight Time, IdahoJudee@... writes: << hy is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin? >> Priceless, I guess it's to keep people like me from sstting up in the coffin when they play " Here I am Lord! " Love Judy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 23, 2001 Report Share Posted April 23, 2001 In a message dated 04/23/2001 10:19:47 AM Central Daylight Time, godave@... writes: << EXAMINATIONS > > > > > > > > A beautiful young girl is about to undergo a minor operation. >> Well okay then! Somebody could have said something! You think?? Love, Judy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 24, 2001 Report Share Posted April 24, 2001 In a message dated 04/24/2001 12:04:29 PM Central Daylight Time, godave@... writes: << TILL LOVE ME? >> Marilyn that's great! I know an awful lot of people who will get a kick out of it! Thanks, Judy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 24, 2001 Report Share Posted April 24, 2001 In a message dated 04/24/2001 12:04:29 PM Central Daylight Time, godave@... writes: << TILL LOVE ME? >> Marilyn that's great! I know an awful lot of people who will get a kick out of it! Thanks, Judy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 9, 2001 Report Share Posted May 9, 2001 -Marilyn, That was a good one. LOLOL Sandy -- In Rpolychondritis@y..., Marilyn Kucera wrote: > Subject: FW: Doiles > > As a new bride, Aunt Edna moved into the small home on her husband's > ranch near Snowflake. She put a shoe box on a shelf in her closet and > asked > her husband never to touch it. For fifty years Uncle Jack left the box > alone, until Aunt Edna was old and dying. One day when he was putting > their affairs in order, he found the box again and thought it might hold > > something important. > > Opening it, he found two doilies and $82,500 in cash. He took the box to > > her > and asked about the contents. " My mother gave me that box > the day we married, " she explained. " She told me to make a doily to help > > ease > my frustrations every time I got mad at you. " Uncle Jack was very > touched > that in 50 years she'd only been mad at him twice. " What's the $82,500 > for? " > he asked. " Oh, that's the money I made selling the doilies. " > > Marilyn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 9, 2001 Report Share Posted May 9, 2001 -Marilyn, That was a good one. LOLOL Sandy -- In Rpolychondritis@y..., Marilyn Kucera wrote: > Subject: FW: Doiles > > As a new bride, Aunt Edna moved into the small home on her husband's > ranch near Snowflake. She put a shoe box on a shelf in her closet and > asked > her husband never to touch it. For fifty years Uncle Jack left the box > alone, until Aunt Edna was old and dying. One day when he was putting > their affairs in order, he found the box again and thought it might hold > > something important. > > Opening it, he found two doilies and $82,500 in cash. He took the box to > > her > and asked about the contents. " My mother gave me that box > the day we married, " she explained. " She told me to make a doily to help > > ease > my frustrations every time I got mad at you. " Uncle Jack was very > touched > that in 50 years she'd only been mad at him twice. " What's the $82,500 > for? " > he asked. " Oh, that's the money I made selling the doilies. " > > Marilyn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 9, 2001 Report Share Posted May 9, 2001 -Marilyn, That was a good one. LOLOL Sandy -- In Rpolychondritis@y..., Marilyn Kucera wrote: > Subject: FW: Doiles > > As a new bride, Aunt Edna moved into the small home on her husband's > ranch near Snowflake. She put a shoe box on a shelf in her closet and > asked > her husband never to touch it. For fifty years Uncle Jack left the box > alone, until Aunt Edna was old and dying. One day when he was putting > their affairs in order, he found the box again and thought it might hold > > something important. > > Opening it, he found two doilies and $82,500 in cash. He took the box to > > her > and asked about the contents. " My mother gave me that box > the day we married, " she explained. " She told me to make a doily to help > > ease > my frustrations every time I got mad at you. " Uncle Jack was very > touched > that in 50 years she'd only been mad at him twice. " What's the $82,500 > for? " > he asked. " Oh, that's the money I made selling the doilies. " > > Marilyn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 14, 2001 Report Share Posted May 14, 2001 In a message dated 05/09/2001 7:06:16 AM Central Daylight Time, godave@... writes: << ubject: FW: Doiles >> Marilyn, that's precious! And a lot of doillies! Thanks for the chuckle. Love, Judy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 21, 2004 Report Share Posted May 21, 2004 > > > >Nine-year-old was asked by his mother what he had > >learned in Sunday School. " Well, Mom, our teacher told > >us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue > >mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he > >got to the Red Sea, he had his engineers build a > >pontoon bridge, and all the people walked across > >safely. Then he used his walkie-talkie to radio > >headquarters and call in an air strike. They sent in > >bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites > >were saved. " > > > > " Now, , is that REALLY what your teacher taught > >you? " his mother asked. > > > > " Well, no, Mom, but if I told it the way the teacher > >did, you'd never believe it. " > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 21, 2005 Report Share Posted July 21, 2005 Shell--It's GREAT now that this joke doesn't apply to me anymore (LOL)! (I'm in One-derland, and below!) Great joke, tho. :-) --Sandi H. (5 ft 1 inch tall and 50 years old) 315 at orientation (May '03) 285 at 3 pre-op appointments in San Diego (August 4, 2003) 252 at surgery (6/03/04) Last weighed at 177.5 (07/16/2005) Hopefully someday below 140 sandiantoytrain @ yahoo . com > 0 to 200 > > > > The couple had been debating the purchase of a new auto for weeks. > He wanted a > new > truck. She wanted a fast little sports-like car so she could zip > through > traffic around town. > > He would probably have settled on any beat up old truck, but > everything she > seemed to > like was way out of their price range. > > " Look ! " she said. I want something that goes from 0 to 200 in 4 > seconds or > less. And my > birthday is coming up. You could surprise me. " > > So for her birthday, he bought her a brand new bathroom scale. > > Services are pending. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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