broke his femur

[Guest guest]

I'm sorry, but I've just reached the end of my rope here. tripped on a

small box and broke his right femur (thighbone). It was a fluke accident, and I

was standing about 2 feet from him when it happened. I feel incredibly guilty

about it, because I didn't pick up that darn box he tripped on. People tell me

it was just an accident, and to not feel guilty, but dammit I can't. I can't

watch my son in so much pain after all he's been through. I'm just so very angry

right now. Angry at myself, angry at fate, angry at God. It's just not fair that

he has to suffer so much. I wish it would be me taking the pain, in the body

cast for 6 weeks. I wish I could wake up tomorrow and he would walk into our

room to wake me up. But that won't be happening tomorrow, and that's why I'm

sitting here crying my eyes out as I type this.

He is going to need round the clock care for the next 6 weeks. He's in such a

large cast (spica-hip cast) that it's impossible for him to move even an inch by

himself. Jim and I will do our best to keep him comfortable during that time.

But I'm pretty much unemployed right now. I just put in my two weeks notice at

my old job to start a new one. And now the new one isn't sure if they still want

me. I would love to be a permanent stay at home mom, but the money that the job

provides is pretty important. So the financial insecurity is pretty difficult

for me to deal with right now.

Sorry to go on and on. It's just that I could use all of your help. Send

a warm thought, a prayer, a few seconds of thought. It would mean alot to me. I

won't be on the computer very much for awhile, so if you don't hear from me,

that's why. Sorry about the multiple recipients, I just couldn't keep my eyes

open long enough to type out more than one letter. Thanks for understanding.