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The Stress Diet

Submitted by iVillager rags

BREAKFAST

1/2 grapefruit

1 slice whole wheat toast

8 oz. skim milk

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LUNCH

4 oz. lean broiled chicken breast

1 cup steamed spinach

1 cup herbal tea

1 Oreo cookie

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MIDAFTERNOON SNACK

1 medium apple

Rest of the Oreos in the package

2 pints of rocky road ice cream

1 jar hot fudge sauce

Nuts, cherries, whipped cream

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DINNER

2 loaves garlic bread with parmesan cheese

1 large sausage, mushroom and cheese pizza

4 cans or 1 large pitcher of beer

3 Milky Way or Snickers candy bars

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LATE EVENING NEWS

Entire frozen cheesecake eaten directly from freezer

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RULES FOR THIS DIET

1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it,

it has no calories.

2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the

calories in the candy bar are cancelled out

by the diet soda.

3. When you eat with someone else, calories don't

count if you eat less than they do.

4. Food used for medicinal purposes, such as hot

chocolate, hot toddies and Sara Lee Cheesecake,

never count.

5. If you fatten up everyone else around you, you

look thinner.

6. Foods consumed at the movies, such as Milk Duds,

buttered popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots and

Tootsie Rolls, do not have calories because they

are part of the entire entertainment package and

not one's personal fuel.

7. Cookie pieces contain no calories. The process of

breaking causes calorie leakage.

8. Food prepared by your mother and/or your best

friend, and eaten in her presence, contains no

calories.

9. Thing licked off knives and spoons have no

calories if you are in the process of preparing

something. Examples: Peanut butter on a knife

making a sandwich; ice cream on a spoon making

a sundae.

10. Foods that have the same color have the same

number of calories.

Examples: Spinach and pistachio ice cream;

mushrooms and white chocolate.

NOTE: Chocolate is a universal color and may be

substituted for any other food color.

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