Fwd: [Sugarshakers] The Toddler Miracle Diet .... Best Diet around...... e...

November 7, 1999

I recieved this from another list and thought this would be a good diet to

try! LOL!!!

Sheila In Texas

187/180/135

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

GOAL 5LBS BY

THANKSGIVING

1DOWN---4 TO GO

A cyber friend in L.A. sent this to me, its really cute.

Nanny/Mom

<< " The Toddler Miracle Diet "

Americans are always on the lookout for a new diet. The trouble with most

diets is that you don't get enough to eat (the starvation diet), or you

don't get enough variation (the liquid diet) or you go broke (the all-meat

diet). Consequently, people tend to cheat on their diets, or quit after 3

days, or go right back to stuffing their faces after it is all over. Is

there nothing you can do but give up and tell your friends you have a gland

problem?

Well, now there's the new Toddler Miracle Diet!

Over the years you may have noticed, as I have, that most two-year-olds are

trim. It came to me one day over a glass of water and a carrot that perhaps

their diet is the reason. After consultation with pediatricians, X-ray

technicians, and distraught Moms, I was able to formulate this new diet. It

is inexpensive, offering great variety and sufficient quantity. Before

embarking on this diet, however, be sure to check with your doctor --

otherwise, you might have to see him afterward. Good luck!

DAY ONE Breakfast: One scrambled egg, one piece of toast with grape jelly.

Eat 2 bites of egg, using your fingers; dump the rest on the floor.

Take 1 bite of toast, then smear the jelly over your face and clothes.

Lunch: Four crayons (any color), a handful of potato chips, and a glass of

milk (3 sips only, then spill the rest).

Dinner: A dry stick, two pennies and a nickel, 4 sips of flat Pepsi.

Bedtime snack: Toast a piece of bread and toss it on the kitchen floor.

DAY TWO Breakfast: Pick up stale toast from kitchen floor and eat it.

Drink half bottle of vanilla extract or one vial of vegetable dye.

Lunch: Half a tube of " Pulsating Pink " lipstick and a handful of Purina Dog

Chow (any flavor).

One ice cube, if desired.

Afternoon Snack: Lick an all-day sucker until sticky, take outside, drop in

dirt. Retrieve and continue slurping until it is clean again. Then bring

inside and drop on the rug.

Dinner: A rock or an uncooked bean, which should be thrust up your left

nostril. Pour grape Kool-Aid over mashed potatoes; eat with a spoon.

DAY THREE --- Breakfast: Two pancakes with plenty of syrup, eat one with

fingers, rub in hair. Glass of milk; drink half, stuff other pancake in

glass. After breakfast, pick up yesterday's sucker from rug, lick off fuzz,

and put it on the cushion of your best chair.

Lunch: Three matches, peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Spit several bites

onto the floor.

Pour glass of milk on table and slurp up.

Dinner: Dish of ice cream, handful of potato chips, some red punch.

FINAL DAY --- Breakfast: A quarter-tube of toothpaste (any flavor), bit of

soap, an olive. Pour a glass of milk over bowl of Cornflakes, add a half

cup of sugar. Once cereal is soggy, drink milk and feed cereal to dog.

Lunch: Eat crumbs off kitchen floor and dining room carpet. Find that

sucker and finish eating it.

Dinner: A glass of spaghetti and chocolate milk. Leave meatball on plate.

Stick of mascara for dessert. >>

Return-path: LiLJaNe50@...

From: LiLJaNe50@...

Full-name: LiLJaNe50

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Date: Sun, 7 Nov 1999 04:27:47 EST

Subject: " The Toddler Miracle Diet " .... Best Diet around...... enjoy

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" The Toddler Miracle Diet "