Barb

[Guest guest]

Barb,

Hi, how is today going? Was last night okay? I know it's Maxine's b-day,

so I hope Maggie does okay with the food aspect of that. About the NG tube,

if she REALLY wants it and insurance covers all the expenses, it might be

good. She will get the calories and everything she needs, won't be able to

taste it (hopefully, my came up one night in my sleep and I gagged on it and

it tasted awful! if that happens, make sure to either take her to the er or

see a doc asap to make sure nothing got in her lungs) and maybe that will be

enough or maybe she will decide that a juice box is better. I don't know

how much kids will tease her for going to school with a tube in her nose.

If she does get one, I'll tell her all the things I did with mine. Anyway,

whatever you decide I am sure will be good. Give yourself a BIG hug and

just relax as much as possible before you have to leave for those couple of

days.

Take care,

Kelsey

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[Guest guest]

Sally:

I have taken a while to answer you, but you are much in my thoughts

and prayers these days. I do remember how you were the one who took on the

responsibility of planning for Elmer, and now you are in the same position

with your mother. First off, remember that if you think Lewy Bodies are

involved, she may respond to a drug like Aricept in a most miraculous way.

Ken not only got back his memory, but he got over his paranoia's and other

craziness. The literature seems to suggest that his response was pretty

normal for DLBD.

I am so sorry that your mother-in-law cannot see that you are doing

all that can be done for your mother and that you did so much for Elmer. I

suspect that she has a very hard time accepting the aging process in general,

and that she is scared silly of losing it herself and ending up in a facility

(as all of us are). My mother-in-law had the same fears even though or

perhaps because her husband was in a Nursing Home when he died. At the age of

95, she broke he hip and was transferred to a Nursing Home for Rehab. She

became almost impossible to handle for the nurses and ended up calling me at

$AM to " get her out. " When I said it was the middle of the night and I could

do nothing right then, she tore into me telling me that she now knew how I

must have treated my mother (who died after a fall in her own home) and other

most hateful things. She had lost control of her life, and she was very

frightened. We were able to arrange for her to go back to her home with

full-time in-home care and my daughter upstairs to oversee everything, and

she came to realize that I had both her and her son's best interest at heart.

But it was not easy for her to realize that she had to trust me and the rest

of her family to love her and do what was right for her. By the time she died

at age 101, she had made me the sole trusty of her affairs and had told me

repeatedly how much she appreciated what I was doing both for her and for

Ken. I hope your mother-in-law will also come to appreciate your efforts, but

even if she doesn't, you will know when all is over that you have done your

very best, and that will give you much peace. Now that Ken and his mother are

both gone, I find a lot of solace in knowing that I did everything I could

for both of them.

Have a peaceful and happy Easter; you are a very special lady.

Love, Barbara

[Guest guest]

Sally:

I have taken a while to answer you, but you are much in my thoughts

and prayers these days. I do remember how you were the one who took on the

responsibility of planning for Elmer, and now you are in the same position

with your mother. First off, remember that if you think Lewy Bodies are

involved, she may respond to a drug like Aricept in a most miraculous way.

Ken not only got back his memory, but he got over his paranoia's and other

craziness. The literature seems to suggest that his response was pretty

normal for DLBD.

I am so sorry that your mother-in-law cannot see that you are doing

all that can be done for your mother and that you did so much for Elmer. I

suspect that she has a very hard time accepting the aging process in general,

and that she is scared silly of losing it herself and ending up in a facility

(as all of us are). My mother-in-law had the same fears even though or

perhaps because her husband was in a Nursing Home when he died. At the age of

95, she broke he hip and was transferred to a Nursing Home for Rehab. She

became almost impossible to handle for the nurses and ended up calling me at

$AM to " get her out. " When I said it was the middle of the night and I could

do nothing right then, she tore into me telling me that she now knew how I

must have treated my mother (who died after a fall in her own home) and other

most hateful things. She had lost control of her life, and she was very

frightened. We were able to arrange for her to go back to her home with

full-time in-home care and my daughter upstairs to oversee everything, and

she came to realize that I had both her and her son's best interest at heart.

But it was not easy for her to realize that she had to trust me and the rest

of her family to love her and do what was right for her. By the time she died

at age 101, she had made me the sole trusty of her affairs and had told me

repeatedly how much she appreciated what I was doing both for her and for

Ken. I hope your mother-in-law will also come to appreciate your efforts, but

even if she doesn't, you will know when all is over that you have done your

very best, and that will give you much peace. Now that Ken and his mother are

both gone, I find a lot of solace in knowing that I did everything I could

for both of them.

Have a peaceful and happy Easter; you are a very special lady.

Love, Barbara