Re: RLS/Spouses

[Guest guest]

Dear June

Glad you came through the research activities at NIH in such good shape

and with more insight into RLS and what it can do to people. Without

going into the lurid details, I still remember the reactions of my

former wife to my RLS. When things aren't going well between a married

couple, any additional stress to that marriage can be fatal to the

relationship. The reaction of either partner depends to a great degree

on the way the spouse is perceived and on whether a game of control is

being played. After years of hidden agendas, it is often impossible to

evaluate why either partner does what they do. Frequently, it is simply

a wish to hurt the spouse for perceived previous wrongs. Without hearing

the other side of the story, I think that passing judgment is a mistake.

Either party may be simply acting out a learned pattern of behavior

towards the other that they would never consider doing with someone

else, in this case, the husband's patients. With them, he may be a

compassionate, caring physician and a competent surgeon. I am not

defending him without the facts and based only on her statements, I am

not condemning him. He may be an excellent surgeon, I have no way of

knowing. He clearly is entitled to his side of the story, before I give

any opinion whatsoever. It sounds to me, from what you relate, that the

patient has peripheral neuropathy with possible secondary RLS. Without

examining her and testing her, that is only a guess. I dare say that

such a diagnosis would be missed by many physicians, especially a

surgeon who has no expertise in this area. Judge not lest ye be judged.

At the same time, I have a problem with Dr. Bara telling you a patient's

diagnosis and, if it is true, that the people at NIH hadn't discussed

her illness with her and provided her with RLS support material and

references. They know these sources just as well as we do. The

Foundation is contributing monetarily to the project and the people

involved are well aware of the Foundation's existence and what it has to

offer to RLS patients and their physicians.

Congratulations on your contribution to solving the RLS riddle.

Dr. Levin