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In a message dated 7/25/00 5:44:46 PM Pacific Daylight Time, rmax@...

writes:

> Maybe your daughter is holding in fears of this happening to her? She

resents the CMT, resents your having it, resents the knowledge that she may

some day have it too and its just too many fears for her to handle? Have

you talked with her about

the chances of her having it? >>

****************

Yes, this is a big part of it..... she is very afraid of the CMT. I have

talked with many times about CMT and the possibilities of her having

it or being a carrier or both. The whole thing upsets her horribly..... I

understand that.....

I have tried to be there for her. is very strong headed and will

only listen if she wants. I've learned over time that if I like something I

tell her I don't, otherwise if I tell her I like it she will hate it....

It's always the opposite of what mom says, thinks, feels, she's been this way

since she was very young.... And it's always driven me crazy.... LOL

Thank-you for your thoughts and encouragement.

jeanie

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In a message dated 7/25/00 5:43:04 PM Pacific Daylight Time,

oregonpapa@... writes:

> I hope your daughter and your husband are drinking lots of ice water ...

they are > going to need it, where they are going ...

>

*************

Hopefully they will both change before that time comes and be more

responsible for thier actions.

I know that when I wsa still able to get around and my daughter was shorter I

still had control of her and she paid the consequences even if her dad didn't

get involved. I'm the disiplinarian (SP) in our family. My husband just looks

at me and doesn't know what to do.

After I told my hubby what had said to me and how she acted he

didn't say or do anything. However, the next day when asked him if

she could go out with a friend he talked to her about what she had done and

said. She did come in and apologize to me and I accepted and told her it

couldn't happen again PERIOD.... But yet...... (I have a rule with

.... She's not allowed to go anywhere if her dishes and room aren't

done.... even if her ride is there).... Well, her ride came and her room was

clean but the counter was a mess. I ;ooked at her and said the

dishes... She said, dad said I needed to TRY to get them done.... So I got

on Bill's case and told him that that was not acceptable....

Jon my son wasn't allowed to play with friends ALL DAY becasue of his

attitude... But yet he let her off the hook...

I think this is why I am alwayss sick and stressed out... I have no way to

actually make her do anything because I don't have the support behind me....

Her dad could say no and stand up to her.... She wouldn't dare say anything

to himmmmm. She knows he would bean her.... like she should be beaned,. like

she should've when she said it to me.... So I feel unimportant to my

hubby.... I know I shouldn't... But it says to me that he doesn't care how

I'm treated. CMT or not. Know what I'm saying....

Anyway, sorry I went on. Jeanie

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In a message dated 7/25/00 5:10:11 PM Pacific Daylight Time,

Pepperbrammer@... writes:

> Moonglo I dont know what to say to you but I want you to understand that

> there are those who care . Do you have a pastor?

****************************

Gwen, thank-you for your thought's. I am not against prayer at all, but I

certainly what to thankyou that you didn't say something like. I'll pray and

know it will be O.K..... As I've learned with being a preachers daughter,

some things are mean't to be.... I just wish God would realize that I'm not

as strong as he thinks I am. LOL

I know one day things will be better for me. SOme days my kids are there for

me thru thick and thin.... I'm just not strong enoough nerve wise to deal

with the bad times.

Thank-you and God Bless..... Jeanie

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In a message dated 7/25/00 5:10:11 PM Pacific Daylight Time,

Pepperbrammer@... writes:

> Moonglo I dont know what to say to you but I want you to understand that

> there are those who care . Do you have a pastor?

****************************

Gwen, thank-you for your thought's. I am not against prayer at all, but I

certainly what to thankyou that you didn't say something like. I'll pray and

know it will be O.K..... As I've learned with being a preachers daughter,

some things are mean't to be.... I just wish God would realize that I'm not

as strong as he thinks I am. LOL

I know one day things will be better for me. SOme days my kids are there for

me thru thick and thin.... I'm just not strong enoough nerve wise to deal

with the bad times.

Thank-you and God Bless..... Jeanie

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In a message dated 7/25/00 5:27:22 PM Pacific Daylight Time,

mikerobertac@... writes:

> I will be praying for you.

> a

> PS Did you see, got on and wrote a response. She was watching me go

> through me E mail and she said " let me respond to that on OK? " Whoa, is

this

> the same kid who left our support group in May?

***************

Thank-you, and yes I did notice that did a post.... I was very

excited that she got involved and very thankfull.....

Jeanie

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Dearest Jeanie,

I have been reading your postings and my heart swells for you. I know I

don't know you personally, although I would like to, and I won't give you

parenting advice, answers for your husband, but I will tell you, YOU ARE A

WORTHWHILE, BEAUTIFUL PERSON, and YOU ARE IMPORTANT. Your imput in this

group, your wise advice, your general compassion for the people in this

group, even though you don't know them, does you credit. It doesn't matter

what anyone else thinks of you, including your children and your husband. I

read many years ago and have lived by it, that if you love yourself, make

sure everybody knows this, and those around you can't help but love you back.

Please don't be so hard on yourself and know that I and I'm sure 99% of the

people in this group are rooting for you. So please try and relax, get the

help that YOU need to make YOU feel good. Loving Kindness and Compassion be

with you always, Michele

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Dearest Jeanie,

I have been reading your postings and my heart swells for you. I know I

don't know you personally, although I would like to, and I won't give you

parenting advice, answers for your husband, but I will tell you, YOU ARE A

WORTHWHILE, BEAUTIFUL PERSON, and YOU ARE IMPORTANT. Your imput in this

group, your wise advice, your general compassion for the people in this

group, even though you don't know them, does you credit. It doesn't matter

what anyone else thinks of you, including your children and your husband. I

read many years ago and have lived by it, that if you love yourself, make

sure everybody knows this, and those around you can't help but love you back.

Please don't be so hard on yourself and know that I and I'm sure 99% of the

people in this group are rooting for you. So please try and relax, get the

help that YOU need to make YOU feel good. Loving Kindness and Compassion be

with you always, Michele

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Dearest Jeanie,

I have been reading your postings and my heart swells for you. I know I

don't know you personally, although I would like to, and I won't give you

parenting advice, answers for your husband, but I will tell you, YOU ARE A

WORTHWHILE, BEAUTIFUL PERSON, and YOU ARE IMPORTANT. Your imput in this

group, your wise advice, your general compassion for the people in this

group, even though you don't know them, does you credit. It doesn't matter

what anyone else thinks of you, including your children and your husband. I

read many years ago and have lived by it, that if you love yourself, make

sure everybody knows this, and those around you can't help but love you back.

Please don't be so hard on yourself and know that I and I'm sure 99% of the

people in this group are rooting for you. So please try and relax, get the

help that YOU need to make YOU feel good. Loving Kindness and Compassion be

with you always, Michele

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In a message dated 7/27/00 8:27:52 AM Pacific Daylight Time, Grmifo91@...

writes:

> Dearest Jeanie,

> I have been reading your postings and my heart swells for you. I know

I

> don't know you personally, although I would like to, and I won't give you

> parenting advice, answers for your husband, but I will tell you, YOU ARE A

> WORTHWHILE, BEAUTIFUL PERSON, and YOU ARE IMPORTANT.

*****************

Michele, Thank-you so very much for your kind words.... And you are correct.

If you love yourself it can make a big difference.... This is an area I have

to work on. Thank-you, Jeanie

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In a message dated 7/27/00 8:27:52 AM Pacific Daylight Time, Grmifo91@...

writes:

> Dearest Jeanie,

> I have been reading your postings and my heart swells for you. I know

I

> don't know you personally, although I would like to, and I won't give you

> parenting advice, answers for your husband, but I will tell you, YOU ARE A

> WORTHWHILE, BEAUTIFUL PERSON, and YOU ARE IMPORTANT.

*****************

Michele, Thank-you so very much for your kind words.... And you are correct.

If you love yourself it can make a big difference.... This is an area I have

to work on. Thank-you, Jeanie

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  • 2 years later...

We adopted our daughter at 3 months, almost 21 1/2 years ago -- I remember

worrying a lot about whether I could fully love a child to whom I had no

biological connection.

That lasted until I gave her her first bottle. At that point I was Dad, she

was my daughter, and it's been that way, come hell or high water, ever since

and will ever be so.

/john

Re: Having children

> and any other " birth moms " ,

> I never would have guessed that on the grad list I would have been

blessed to be given the opportunity to do something that I have wanted all

my life to do and never been given the opportunity. I was adopted at birth

by a wonderful family. I was placed for adoption by an even more wonderful

16 year old young lady who had to have loved me more than I can imagine. I

have always wanted to find her and write her a letter. In it I would tell

her thank you for giving me life, something that was not easy in 1960 at 16

years old. Second, I was, and am, happy and have had a good family, because

I would always wonder, if I had given a child up, if I had done the right

thing, was my child happy. Thirdly, I would ask if I loved softball and

athletics because she did, and things like that. Next I would tell her I

loved her, very much, and that the enclosed, sealed envelope contained

information about me and my family; and that I realized she had gone on with

her life and I didn't !

> want to interfere with it. If she wanted to contact me, she was very

welcome to do so, I would love to talk to her, meet her and whatever she was

comfortable with. If she was not comfortable with this, throw the envelope

away, I will not contact her again. I had done what I wanted to do. And I

would close by saying thank you mom, I love you.

> So to all birth moms, thank you, I love you. You are a priceless gift

from God,

> doc Carolyn

>

>

>

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We adopted our daughter at 3 months, almost 21 1/2 years ago -- I remember

worrying a lot about whether I could fully love a child to whom I had no

biological connection.

That lasted until I gave her her first bottle. At that point I was Dad, she

was my daughter, and it's been that way, come hell or high water, ever since

and will ever be so.

/john

Re: Having children

> and any other " birth moms " ,

> I never would have guessed that on the grad list I would have been

blessed to be given the opportunity to do something that I have wanted all

my life to do and never been given the opportunity. I was adopted at birth

by a wonderful family. I was placed for adoption by an even more wonderful

16 year old young lady who had to have loved me more than I can imagine. I

have always wanted to find her and write her a letter. In it I would tell

her thank you for giving me life, something that was not easy in 1960 at 16

years old. Second, I was, and am, happy and have had a good family, because

I would always wonder, if I had given a child up, if I had done the right

thing, was my child happy. Thirdly, I would ask if I loved softball and

athletics because she did, and things like that. Next I would tell her I

loved her, very much, and that the enclosed, sealed envelope contained

information about me and my family; and that I realized she had gone on with

her life and I didn't !

> want to interfere with it. If she wanted to contact me, she was very

welcome to do so, I would love to talk to her, meet her and whatever she was

comfortable with. If she was not comfortable with this, throw the envelope

away, I will not contact her again. I had done what I wanted to do. And I

would close by saying thank you mom, I love you.

> So to all birth moms, thank you, I love you. You are a priceless gift

from God,

> doc Carolyn

>

>

>

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