moonglow & nonsupportive family

July 26, 2000

Moonglow - I share your grief, but it's my husband, not my son.......

For years, my husband (who is obsessive in other things as well), obsessed about

me exercising every day. I, who have lived with CMT for years and had many

conversations with my dr. and pt., knew what exercises I could do and how much.

Only once has he been to the dr. or pt. with me. As far as my husband was

concerned, I never did enough. I spoke to my dr. about it and he said it's

denial. Actually, in his case it could have been a little of that, and a LOT of

control. He would come home from work every day and see if there was evidence

that I had done it (like looking at the bike pedals to see if they had changed

position - that's sick!) It was a torment. If I had not, he wouldn't speak to

me for at least a day and a night.

Did wonders for our relationship. Caused me unbelievable stress. He'd get

better for a few weeks, then blast me all over again. I'm no passive victim,

believe me, and I have low tolerance for hurtful people. (We've been married 17

years) He never acts that way with anyone but me. I was broken when he

recently said he was sick of living with someone who's disabled and that I

wasn't like a normal woman. That did it.

I sought counseling through my employers referral plan recently. The counselor

said his obsessive/compulsive disorder (which he won't do anything about) could

be a very big part of the problem. The counselor reminded me that I am not the

only one who has to come up with a solution, and I asked husband 'what's your

solution?' I told him I had some guidance on moving out, getting divorced, and

suing him for spousal support and child support and I could do that. I also

told him he had no right to speak to anybody the way he spoke to me. I'm not a

garbage dump and I won't stay in an abusive situation.

Things have gotten better. Hope it stays that way. I feel so bad that your

kids aren't there for you - boy, do they need an attitude adjustment. Do they

know how much they are hurting you? Do you tell them? Your daughter is outright

abusive - wish you could send her to 'boot camp " and let them rough her up. Yes,

both my husband and son sometimes get ticked because they have to help me. I

don't feel sorry for them, but later I talk to them about it and say how much I

appreciated what they did for me. I need to remember to do more of that.

That's all for now....please take care; my prayers are with you.

Melody

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