Guest guest Posted July 18, 2000 Report Share Posted July 18, 2000 Hi, Kat ... Your message re: family members is right on. As most of you know, I suffered from chronic pain for many years due to neck surgeries and headed up a chronic pain support group to help others in pain. I have heard all of the stories about lack of family/friend support before. The fact is, that people, including loved ones, get REAL tired of living with, or just being around people who are in pain. We have our own pain to live with and we become a pain in the tush to them too. This is especially true if the pain person is a complainer/whiner, or someone who won't socialize, or do those fun family things anymore. I remember that I didn't want to do anything except take pain medication and lay on the couch for fear of increasing my pain. Then one day the family wanted me to go to Disney Land with them and I refused. I saw the disappointment in the faces of my two daughters, and thought to myself, " What the heck, , if you are going to hurt, you may as well hurt at Disney Land instead of hurting here on the couch. " That was a day of awakening for me. I then realized what a pain in the rear I had been to my family. Now, no matter what, I try to be upbeat and friendly. I have created this habit: Whenever anyone in my personal or business life asks me how I am doing, I ALWA YS reply, " I'm terrific, but I'm going to get better! " The end of the message on my answering machine at home says: " ... I will call you back when I get in ... Oh, by the way, do you know that you look terrific with that BIG smile on your face? " I recommend this type of upbeat behavior and responses to all of you ... If you do this often enough, you begin to believe some of it and people really love it. Isn't this much better than losing your friends and your family? It takes such little effort to be positive ... its a created habit, it just takes a while to burn this stuff into the subconscious mind so it becomes an automatic reflex. We all have a disease, we hurt, we feel miserable much of the time ... but why let everyone else know? Most of them don't care and a few are actually happy that we are suffering. So, I made a pact with myself ... no more negative outpourings ... only positive statements. Unless, of course, when I am talking with my doctor, discussing my problems in this support group, or standing in line at the Department of Motor Vehicles. ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 18, 2000 Report Share Posted July 18, 2000 Hi, Kat ... Your message re: family members is right on. As most of you know, I suffered from chronic pain for many years due to neck surgeries and headed up a chronic pain support group to help others in pain. I have heard all of the stories about lack of family/friend support before. The fact is, that people, including loved ones, get REAL tired of living with, or just being around people who are in pain. We have our own pain to live with and we become a pain in the tush to them too. This is especially true if the pain person is a complainer/whiner, or someone who won't socialize, or do those fun family things anymore. I remember that I didn't want to do anything except take pain medication and lay on the couch for fear of increasing my pain. Then one day the family wanted me to go to Disney Land with them and I refused. I saw the disappointment in the faces of my two daughters, and thought to myself, " What the heck, , if you are going to hurt, you may as well hurt at Disney Land instead of hurting here on the couch. " That was a day of awakening for me. I then realized what a pain in the rear I had been to my family. Now, no matter what, I try to be upbeat and friendly. I have created this habit: Whenever anyone in my personal or business life asks me how I am doing, I ALWA YS reply, " I'm terrific, but I'm going to get better! " The end of the message on my answering machine at home says: " ... I will call you back when I get in ... Oh, by the way, do you know that you look terrific with that BIG smile on your face? " I recommend this type of upbeat behavior and responses to all of you ... If you do this often enough, you begin to believe some of it and people really love it. Isn't this much better than losing your friends and your family? It takes such little effort to be positive ... its a created habit, it just takes a while to burn this stuff into the subconscious mind so it becomes an automatic reflex. We all have a disease, we hurt, we feel miserable much of the time ... but why let everyone else know? Most of them don't care and a few are actually happy that we are suffering. So, I made a pact with myself ... no more negative outpourings ... only positive statements. Unless, of course, when I am talking with my doctor, discussing my problems in this support group, or standing in line at the Department of Motor Vehicles. ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 18, 2000 Report Share Posted July 18, 2000 Hi, Kat ... Your message re: family members is right on. As most of you know, I suffered from chronic pain for many years due to neck surgeries and headed up a chronic pain support group to help others in pain. I have heard all of the stories about lack of family/friend support before. The fact is, that people, including loved ones, get REAL tired of living with, or just being around people who are in pain. We have our own pain to live with and we become a pain in the tush to them too. This is especially true if the pain person is a complainer/whiner, or someone who won't socialize, or do those fun family things anymore. I remember that I didn't want to do anything except take pain medication and lay on the couch for fear of increasing my pain. Then one day the family wanted me to go to Disney Land with them and I refused. I saw the disappointment in the faces of my two daughters, and thought to myself, " What the heck, , if you are going to hurt, you may as well hurt at Disney Land instead of hurting here on the couch. " That was a day of awakening for me. I then realized what a pain in the rear I had been to my family. Now, no matter what, I try to be upbeat and friendly. I have created this habit: Whenever anyone in my personal or business life asks me how I am doing, I ALWA YS reply, " I'm terrific, but I'm going to get better! " The end of the message on my answering machine at home says: " ... I will call you back when I get in ... Oh, by the way, do you know that you look terrific with that BIG smile on your face? " I recommend this type of upbeat behavior and responses to all of you ... If you do this often enough, you begin to believe some of it and people really love it. Isn't this much better than losing your friends and your family? It takes such little effort to be positive ... its a created habit, it just takes a while to burn this stuff into the subconscious mind so it becomes an automatic reflex. We all have a disease, we hurt, we feel miserable much of the time ... but why let everyone else know? Most of them don't care and a few are actually happy that we are suffering. So, I made a pact with myself ... no more negative outpourings ... only positive statements. Unless, of course, when I am talking with my doctor, discussing my problems in this support group, or standing in line at the Department of Motor Vehicles. ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 19, 2000 Report Share Posted July 19, 2000 Re: Living with CMT >In a message dated 7/18/2000 10:52:05 PM Pacific Daylight Time, >oregonpapa@... writes: > ><< It takes such little effort to be positive >> >It takes a great effort for me !!! Just to warn you if you read something >positive from me I had to work on it. > > >>>>I'm positive until something knocks me down. Then I'm negative for a bit, then pick myself backup again and look at life in a positive light. Or try to anyway. I try to stay positive for my kids, my 10 year old has CMT and I want him to look at me and see I still can go on. I still have humor, I still have a life of wonders in front of me. I want him to say if he ever has CMT severe that, well look at mom, she didn't let it get her down, she kept going, she was able to do and enjoy things she just had to do things a bit different thats all. ~>Becky M. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 19, 2000 Report Share Posted July 19, 2000 , I so, agree with you. Attitude is so catching. I think because of my maturity in life of 53 years, I've learned some things about human nature. Every human being on earth experiences pain of one kind or the other. On the norm of asking someone " How they are doing? " they DO NOT want to hear about the bad things going on in your life......lol I was greeted every morning at work by one young man who always asked this of me. I always returned a response of " great " with a big smile. After a year of this, he stopped me one morning, and said I was such an inspiration to him. He knew I had something wrong with me (brace on leg) but I always replied with " great " knowing that no one could have such a perfect life. I pledged to myself a long time ago that I was living MY LIFE and CMT would not live it for me. Attitude and a sense of humor has helped me to be one of the happiest people on earth. Now watch me be challenged this very afternoon with CMT and staying humorous and positive.....lol Isn't life GRAND..... from Indiana Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 19, 2000 Report Share Posted July 19, 2000 , I so, agree with you. Attitude is so catching. I think because of my maturity in life of 53 years, I've learned some things about human nature. Every human being on earth experiences pain of one kind or the other. On the norm of asking someone " How they are doing? " they DO NOT want to hear about the bad things going on in your life......lol I was greeted every morning at work by one young man who always asked this of me. I always returned a response of " great " with a big smile. After a year of this, he stopped me one morning, and said I was such an inspiration to him. He knew I had something wrong with me (brace on leg) but I always replied with " great " knowing that no one could have such a perfect life. I pledged to myself a long time ago that I was living MY LIFE and CMT would not live it for me. Attitude and a sense of humor has helped me to be one of the happiest people on earth. Now watch me be challenged this very afternoon with CMT and staying humorous and positive.....lol Isn't life GRAND..... from Indiana Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 19, 2000 Report Share Posted July 19, 2000 , I so, agree with you. Attitude is so catching. I think because of my maturity in life of 53 years, I've learned some things about human nature. Every human being on earth experiences pain of one kind or the other. On the norm of asking someone " How they are doing? " they DO NOT want to hear about the bad things going on in your life......lol I was greeted every morning at work by one young man who always asked this of me. I always returned a response of " great " with a big smile. After a year of this, he stopped me one morning, and said I was such an inspiration to him. He knew I had something wrong with me (brace on leg) but I always replied with " great " knowing that no one could have such a perfect life. I pledged to myself a long time ago that I was living MY LIFE and CMT would not live it for me. Attitude and a sense of humor has helped me to be one of the happiest people on earth. Now watch me be challenged this very afternoon with CMT and staying humorous and positive.....lol Isn't life GRAND..... from Indiana Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 19, 2000 Report Share Posted July 19, 2000 ... Wonderful ... You have hit the nail right on the head ... Bless you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 19, 2000 Report Share Posted July 19, 2000 ... Wonderful ... You have hit the nail right on the head ... Bless you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 19, 2000 Report Share Posted July 19, 2000 ... Wonderful ... You have hit the nail right on the head ... Bless you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 19, 2000 Report Share Posted July 19, 2000 Hi, Becky. You have a terrific attitude. For me, that's the ticket! I learned a long time ago to develop an " attitude of gratitude " and was told to make a " gratitude list " - either written or thought out. Whenever I get down, I try to do that and I always end up with a better attitude, therefore better disease management, life management. (But admittedly, sometimes I just like to grovel for a while, just flat get down and stay down until I've had enough - you know, " sick and tired of being sick and tired... " Anyway, keep up the great attitude. Good to hear from you. Carolyn > > Re: Living with CMT > > > >In a message dated 7/18/2000 10:52:05 PM Pacific Daylight Time, > >oregonpapa@a... writes: > > > ><< It takes such little effort to be positive >> > >It takes a great effort for me !!! Just to warn you if you read something > >positive from me I had to work on it. > > > > > >>>>I'm positive until something knocks me down. Then I'm negative for a > bit, then pick myself backup again and look at life in a positive light. > Or try to anyway. I try to stay positive for my kids, my 10 year > old has CMT and I want him to look at me and see I still can go on. I still > have humor, I still have a life of wonders in front of me. I want him to > say if he ever has CMT severe that, well look at mom, she didn't let it get > her down, she kept going, she was able to do and enjoy things she just had > to do things a bit different thats all. ~>Becky M. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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