Re: Telling others

[Guest guest]

Devin Ann,

I can certainly relate to your concerns about telling a potential employer

about CMT as I am also job hunting. However, I have limited my job search

to the type of office work where I do not feel any present or future CMT

challenges will present a problem. Therefore, I have been following the

policy of " don't tell unless asked " during my interviews.

In your case, only you will know how much your CMT challenges will affect

the performance of the duties as the Associate Pastor of a church. Would

you have difficulty if you are required to do lots of activities like

processing around the church, carrying incense, etc.? Even churches that

have been modified to be handicapped accessible often do not have good

access to the altar/pulpit/choir areas at the front of the sanctuary.

If I were on the church selection committee I would want to know about your

relevant limitations and how to accommodate them. Unfortunately, there may

also be a concern that employing you could raise the insurance premiums

they pay, especially if this is a small congregation with a limited budget.

What can you say to offset this concern if it appears?

On the bright side, you have the opportunity to test the church leadership

and congregation to see whether both are really committed to accepting and

appreciating all types of people.

Good luck!

--Jim

[Guest guest]

Kris,

For the most part, I agree with everyone here...especially Cheryl on this one.

Take care of yourself and let the others worry about themselves.

If it's any consolation, the way I explained things is I started out talking

about all the problems I was having with my TMJ, i.e., pain, popping and

clicking, jaws locking open/closed, migraines, etc. I would go into full detail

where people were actually cringing. Then I say, " in an effort to correct all

this, blah, blah, blah...surgery. " By this time, most were all for the surgery.

As for the swelling, I doubt very seriously that you'll be swollen for 5 months

(at least not visibly to the naked eyes of others), As you may or may not have

read before, my swelling was so severe that my OS was very concerned about it

(she even discussed it with my ortho). Anyway, i'm 5 weeks post-op tomorrow and

my (visible) swelling is just about gone.

Hope this helps. Oh, as for the TMJ problems since the surgery (and I had a

severe case of TMJ), so far I haven't experienced any problems at all. :-)

Smooches

Telling Others

Hi, I've been reading the boards for a few days but just now got my

own account.

I have an open bite and TMJ. I was in a splint for over two years

(24/7) to stabilize my jaw, and now I've been in braces for almost

two years. (The clear ceramic ones, top and bottom.) I'm having

upper and lower and maybe a genio as soon as the insurance says I may.

My issue:

My husband is freaked out. For the past two years he's been in

denial about this surgery. (The braces are going to fix everything

and you won't need surgery after all.) This past week when I saw the

surgeon for the 1st time and surgery became an undeniable fact, he

just plain freaked out. He doesn't want my face to change. He says

I'm beautiful the way I am. (He looks through the eyes of love.)

Through patience and small doses of making him deal with this, I

finally got him from, " No, no, no, " to a mantra of, " I love you and

you will be beautiful no matter what you look like. "

Then I started reading these boards, and heard that you can stay

swollen for months ... that your face doesn't settle into place

immediately ... and he panicked again.

On Sunday I decided it was time to start preparing family and friends

at church. The next day my MIL called and said that I 'alarmed' her

with this surgery talk. Obviously I wasn't doing a good enough job

about being upbeat and factual yet gentle...

Then my sister, who loves all things medical and has the stomach for

just about anything, e-mailed me to say, " I thought you were having

some simple procedure done. The more I read that website you sent

me, the more awful this sounds! What are you doing??? " Et tu, Brute?

I'm going to be with the entire family at Cmas, and I want to sit

down with the nieces and nephews (ages 8-18) then and explain to them

that Aunt Kris is going to be having surgery, and I'm going to look

different for a long time, and let them ask questions. What's the

best way to do this? I thought I had a good approach going, but not

if everyone I tell freaks out.

Kris