Guest guest Posted January 5, 1999 Report Share Posted January 5, 1999 The Month After Christmas > >'Twas the month after Christmas, and all through the house >Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse. >The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd taste >At the holiday parties had gone to my waist. >When I got on the scales there arose such a number! >When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber). >I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared; >The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rare, >The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese >And the way I'd never said, " No thank you, please. " >As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt >And prepared once again to do battle with dirt--- >I said to myself, as I only can " You can't spend a winter >disguised as a man! " >So--away with the last of the sour cream dip, >Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip >Every last bit of food that I like must be banished >'Till all the additional ounces have vanished. >I won't have a cookie--not even a lick. >I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick. >I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie, >I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry. >I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore--- >But isn't that what January is for? >Unable to giggle, no longer a riot. >Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet! > > > >JACK >sunny but cold in western nys > > > Please visit our new 1999 New Year's homepage - Updated 1/2/99 > " NEW!!!! " pictures,text, music, links - all for your enjoyment:-) >http://www.frontiernet.net/~goviers/webpage.html > (this page rated " G " , both adults and children welcome ) > >------------------------------------------------------------------------ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 28, 1999 Report Share Posted May 28, 1999 i 'lifted' these from andrews family recipe cookbook - hope you don't mind andrew........... JACK sunny and upper 70's in western nys > > Science Fiction Cookbook > The Contributed Recipes. > > North Carolina style Jawa Bar-B-Q > > > 1 fresh Jawa, split down the breast bone, skin on > > bar-b-q sauce: > 1 c Wild Turkey 101 > 1 c molasses (unsulfored) > 2 c apple cider vinegar > 5 tbs. crushed red pepper > 2 tbs. ground black pepper > 5 tbs. salt > combine all ingredients and keep warm on low fire,(do not boil) > (If using frozen Jawa increase vinegar to three cups to help eliminate the > bitter taste) > > Place Jawa on grill (low fire) skin side up for four hours moping > occasionally > with sauce(use only 1/4 of the sauce). Turn Jawa, cook skin side down for > four > hours, basting every 30 minutes with sauce(use remainder of sauce). Remove > from heat chop meat coarsely, discard skin and bones. Serve with cole slaw, > > hush puppies, French fries, and iced tea. > > > > Chicken Fried Godzilla lips. > > 2 Large skinless Godzilla lips thinly sliced (about 600 lb) > 230lb flour > 60lb garlic crushed > 1ts parsley > 52 dried red peppers finley choped > 120 gal vegetable oil > salt > pepper > > In a large flattened box car heat oil over a combustible liquid explosion. > Be sure to evacuate civilians. Roll lips gently in flour, garlic, and red > pepper combination spread out evenly in a parking lot using a backhoe. > Place lips in box car with crane being careful not to splatter hot oil on > the Blimpyes next door causing a major structure fire. Brown in oil for > 20 minutes on both sides. Add a dash of salt and pepper to taste. DO NOT > OVER COOK. Sprinkle the tea spoon of parsley over the top and garnish > with fruit trees and sea weed. > Makes 2 to 3 King Kong sevings. > HUNTING INSTRUCTIONS ARE AVAILABLE. > > > > Alien(comments) This uses the aliens from the movie " Alien. " > Normally, this would be dangerous to serve, as the blood can melt through the > lining of your stomach and lead to larger problems. However, if the blood is > dilluted in twice the amount of water, seasoned with a tablespoon of chili > powder per cup of blood/water, it can make a wondeful broth or marinade for > the meat. The two parts most rich in flavor are the brain (which will require > a sturdy knife to cut out) and the muscles from the inner-mouth appendage > (which can be reached byholding the mouth open and applying pressu re below > the jaw). The meat will need to cook about as long as a well done steak. > Serve with Beano and Pepto-Bismol. ATTENTION!!! Please visit our NEW Seinfeld-type homepage! No theme, Just a lot of stuff (new pictures). Enjoy:-) NEW - homepage URL: http://www.frontiernet.net/~goviershttp://www.frontiernet.net/~goviers updated 5/1/99. OR ************ We made another " NEW " (May 10) page, just for fun at this address: http://netjunk.com/users/chief39http://netjunk.com/users/chief39 You don't stop laughing because you grow old; you grow old because you stop laughing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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