Unarmed and Vulnerable

[Guest guest]

I'm ready for the furies to be directed in my direction, but here goes

anyway. My take on the latest member to hit the dust is that he had no

tact, not to mention literary skills, but there may have been something

useful in what he had to say, or maybe not. The expression, " Don't shoot

at unarmed men " comes to mind after reading his posts. I wrote Arthur a

personal letter, in which I asked him to reconsider his decision to leave

the group. I do NOT want to see this group restricted to people who only

think the way I do. I'll learn nothing that way, and goodness knows I

need to know all I can about this disorder, and about anything that might

help alleviate the symptoms. I personally did not take offense at what

he said. For some of us it's the truth, for others not. My main point

here is that we don't need to send a warship in to bring down a boat with

one oar, and considering that this " boat " is a human being, we might do

better to offer him a tow back to shore.

ne, 59, Lawrenceville, NJ

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[Guest guest]

I am wondering, who do you perceive as having been trashed?

Sharifa

Vail

[Guest guest]

I for one agree. We need to be able to listen to everyone. Even if we don't

agree with what

was said. COCO Mo.

ne M Isbill wrote:

>

>

> I'm ready for the furies to be directed in my direction, but here goes

> anyway. My take on the latest member to hit the dust is that he had no

> tact, not to mention literary skills, but there may have been something

> useful in what he had to say, or maybe not. The expression, " Don't shoot

> at unarmed men " comes to mind after reading his posts. I wrote Arthur a

> personal letter, in which I asked him to reconsider his decision to leave

> the group. I do NOT want to see this group restricted to people who only

> think the way I do. I'll learn nothing that way, and goodness knows I

> need to know all I can about this disorder, and about anything that might

> help alleviate the symptoms. I personally did not take offense at what

> he said. For some of us it's the truth, for others not. My main point

> here is that we don't need to send a warship in to bring down a boat with

> one oar, and considering that this " boat " is a human being, we might do

> better to offer him a tow back to shore.

> ne, 59, Lawrenceville, NJ

>

> ___________________________________________________________________

> You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail.

> Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com/getjuno.html

> or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866]

>

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

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> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

> This forum is for support only. The information posted to this List is for

support purposes

> and is not intended to replace the examination, diagnosis and treatment of a

licensed

> physician and no such claims are inferred.

[Guest guest]

I also wanted to add to this that the person writing needs to be considerate of

other peoples

feelings too. To be nice about how things are said. COCO Mo.

COCO wrote:

>

>

> I for one agree. We need to be able to listen to everyone. Even if we don't

agree with what

> was said. COCO Mo.

>

> ne M Isbill wrote:

>

> >

> >

> > I'm ready for the furies to be directed in my direction, but here goes

> > anyway. My take on the latest member to hit the dust is that he had no

> > tact, not to mention literary skills, but there may have been something

> > useful in what he had to say, or maybe not. The expression, " Don't shoot

> > at unarmed men " comes to mind after reading his posts. I wrote Arthur a

> > personal letter, in which I asked him to reconsider his decision to leave

> > the group. I do NOT want to see this group restricted to people who only

> > think the way I do. I'll learn nothing that way, and goodness knows I

> > need to know all I can about this disorder, and about anything that might

> > help alleviate the symptoms. I personally did not take offense at what

> > he said. For some of us it's the truth, for others not. My main point

> > here is that we don't need to send a warship in to bring down a boat with

> > one oar, and considering that this " boat " is a human being, we might do

> > better to offer him a tow back to shore.

> > ne, 59, Lawrenceville, NJ

> >

> > ___________________________________________________________________

> > You don't need to buy Internet access to use free Internet e-mail.

> > Get completely free e-mail from Juno at http://www.juno.com/getjuno.html

> > or call Juno at (800) 654-JUNO [654-5866]

> >

> > ------------------------------------------------------------------------

> > We are proud as punch of our new web site!

> > http://www.onelist.com

> > Onelist: The leading provider of free email community services

> > ------------------------------------------------------------------------

> > This forum is for support only. The information posted to this List is for

support purposes

> > and is not intended to replace the examination, diagnosis and treatment of a

licensed

> > physician and no such claims are inferred.

>

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

> We are proud as punch of our new web site!

> http://www.onelist.com

> Onelist: The leading provider of free email community services

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

> This forum is for support only. The information posted to this List is for

support purposes

> and is not intended to replace the examination, diagnosis and treatment of a

licensed

> physician and no such claims are inferred.

[Guest guest]

All,

We seem to not be able to get by without a controversy at least once a month.

And Jill isn't

even here to put her two cents worth in. For my part, I use the ideas that are

helpful to me,

appreciate the support, try to give support when I can, and use the " delete " key

when necessary.

Just a thought for us all:

Build a bridge, not a barrier;

Make a friend, not a fuss;

Find a cause, not a controversy;

Seek a solution, not a standoff.

Jo from Mo, getting ready to head home next week from Texas

[Guest guest]

ne, Louise, and Group,

Being very tired these days, I might not should answer this, but I have

started to 3 or 4 times and erased it. You don't hear from me a whole

lot, so most of the time I just delete if i don't like it, but in this

little " whoopla " , I feel compelled to finally speak up. If I am not

badly mistaken, Arthur was the first one to do the trashing, and to tell

us that what we thought was wrong and what he thought HAD to be RIGHT.

OK, I didn't like that, but what the heck. If he wants to play God

that's HIS problem, not mine. BUT, then someone in our group doesn't

like it and we go after her like she's done something wrong. I've seen a

lot of you go after other people in this group for a lot less and that

was OK. How many times have we attacked ? Why was that OK and

this isn't ? I'm not suggesting it's OK to attack ANYONE, but what about

asking Arthur to understand how people feel about the things he said. In

the same breath he apologized in, he said something about what he

thought was right HAD to be right. Maybe this makes no sense and I've

dreamed all of this, but to the best of my recollection, this is how I

see it. Everyone has their right to their opinion, but this was more

than just an opinion on Arthur's part. I am very confused as to whom or

what we are supporting here.

Ninette 50 TN

[Guest guest]

Ninette,

has both oars in the water.

ne, 59, Lawrenceville, NJ

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[Guest guest]

I am Very aware that " has both oars in the water " . That's my

point. Why is it OK for us to jump his back so often, or anyone else in

this group, and no one gets all " in a tizzy " , but then Arthur comes in

and tells us how we should act, what we should do, and that EVERYTHING

he says is right, without question, and we are just supposed to sit back

and say - OK Don't

confuse the people I am talking about. I was not " dogging " .

and I have learned

to disagree and I value his opinions highly.

has never made statements like

Arthur did, or if he has i will gladly stand corrected and I would be in

disagreement there

also. It's not just Arthur I'm questioning. It's why you attacked

someone who did not like what Arthur said. SO WHAT. A lot of folks did

not like what he said, there have only been a few who

were brave enough to say so. Arthur did not give opinions on treatment

or concern for what we go through. His was just the opposite. If we

would just all follow his thinking, then everyone would be fine

(according to Arthur). I could and did ignore what Arthur said until a

very few of you felt like we should " support " Arthur, who was not

supporting us, and " scold " members who are supporting us. Again I don't

understand.

Ninette

[Guest guest]

I am Very aware that " has both oars in the water " . That's my

point. Why is it OK for us to jump his back so often, or anyone else in

this group, and no one gets all " in a tizzy " , but then Arthur comes in

and tells us how we should act, what we should do, and that EVERYTHING

he says is right, without question, and we are just supposed to sit back

and say - OK Don't

confuse the people I am talking about. I was not " dogging " .

and I have learned

to disagree and I value his opinions highly.

has never made statements like

Arthur did, or if he has i will gladly stand corrected and I would be in

disagreement there

also. It's not just Arthur I'm questioning. It's why you attacked

someone who did not like what Arthur said. SO WHAT. A lot of folks did

not like what he said, there have only been a few who

were brave enough to say so. Arthur did not give opinions on treatment

or concern for what we go through. His was just the opposite. If we

would just all follow his thinking, then everyone would be fine

(according to Arthur). I could and did ignore what Arthur said until a

very few of you felt like we should " support " Arthur, who was not

supporting us, and " scold " members who are supporting us. Again I don't

understand.

Ninette

[Guest guest]

I am Very aware that " has both oars in the water " . That's my

point. Why is it OK for us to jump his back so often, or anyone else in

this group, and no one gets all " in a tizzy " , but then Arthur comes in

and tells us how we should act, what we should do, and that EVERYTHING

he says is right, without question, and we are just supposed to sit back

and say - OK Don't

confuse the people I am talking about. I was not " dogging " .

and I have learned

to disagree and I value his opinions highly.

has never made statements like

Arthur did, or if he has i will gladly stand corrected and I would be in

disagreement there

also. It's not just Arthur I'm questioning. It's why you attacked

someone who did not like what Arthur said. SO WHAT. A lot of folks did

not like what he said, there have only been a few who

were brave enough to say so. Arthur did not give opinions on treatment

or concern for what we go through. His was just the opposite. If we

would just all follow his thinking, then everyone would be fine

(according to Arthur). I could and did ignore what Arthur said until a

very few of you felt like we should " support " Arthur, who was not

supporting us, and " scold " members who are supporting us. Again I don't

understand.

Ninette

[Guest guest]

Ninette, June, and Group,

In a private post to Arthur, I declined his invitation to join a separate

group with him and some others. I told him the value of this group was

its diversity, and the sharing of these different ideas, opinions, and

experiences. I also gave him a mini lecture on courtesy, tact, and

consideration for people's feelings. I am not defending the way he went

about communicating with us - it was ludicrous!

I don't think anyone should be " attacked " . Maybe the problem here is

that disagreement is confused with attack. I have always tried to

express disagreement in a way that " attacks " the issue, not the person

presenting it. I value 's participation and would feel awful if he

interpreted my responses as putting him down personally. And of course

you're right - he has never been as insulting as Arthur was! (, if

you're still around, are you thoroughly sick of reading about yourself in

the third person?!) Anyway, I hope you understand that I am glad you

feel able to disagree with me, and I'm glad various other people here

have a different take on various remedies than I do, and very selfishly,

I want to be exposed to as many different ideas as possible. Maybe by

trying something of everything, I can find some relief from this stupid,

ridiculous, DISGUSTING condition! That's the only reason I would

tolerate being insulted. In the other areas of my life, where I'm not in

desperate straits, I'd be the first person to tell him to take a hike! I

really don't care what he thinks of me personally - I just want to be

able to use anything pertinent he may have to offer. Hope I haven't

further confused the issue, and please know that I have never intended to

respond in the attack mode. My apologies if it came across that way.

ne, 59, Lawrenceville, NJ

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