I need some friends to listen & hopefully help

[Guest guest]

Hi, this is Jeanie

Some of you know that I suffer from depression very seriously. I need

help. Last year you guys rallied for me and I need you to talk me

thru this... I feel myself going inward. Hiding, being quiet,

needing to go to bed and sleep in order to not have to deal or see

or face the problems.

This is the deal:

I have a very loving hubby that is a workaholic. Unfortunately, I

need him tremendously. He gives me strength. I draw from his

strength. I need him to be here to deal with the kids in the

evening. After about 5 PM I'm not worth very much. I'm to tired and

unable to function well.

Several times a year my hubby is rarely home, except to eat and

sleep. He works for Frito-Lay (Potato Chip company here in the

Pacific Northwest). He is an account development manager and is a

salaried employee.

To give you an idea of his hours. He gets up at 3:30 am and I don't

see him until 6 or 7 pm during these horrible times of the year.

Otherwards he works 4:30 am to 5 pm.. I can deal with the later...

but, the other sends me reeling. Does this make since? Am I being

unreasonable? Should I really be expected to handle this alone?

I used to be able to years ago. When I could still get around. I

would do everything my husband wasn't around to do plus more... I

can't do that now.

To be honest, I feel that I am totally in the road here in his life.

Last night I went to a meeting with him and his boss told me they

were going to do something special for my hubby and I because of all

of Bill's labor and being away from home. His boss's know that I

almost bit the dust last year.

My husbands bosses told him to brainstorm ideas for a tour that was

going to be done for the big VP from Texas and my husband wrote on

his notepad after all his other notes ( this is stuff he will need).:

A new wife and a paid honeymoon because he was going to loose the one

he had.

Even my husband knows how this puts me into a tail spin... But yet

it still happens. I told him maybe I should go to my grandpa's 300

miles away for a couple of months. He 100% agreed and said it would

be helpful. I don't get it. I feel like I'm nothing to him, but yet

I know how much he Loves me.

I do fine by myself, but I can't deal with my 2 kids by myself. They

aren't bad, I just don't have the strength for a 12 and 16 year olds

problems and questions and complaints and can I, can I, can I. Am I

making any sense? Am I crazy? Am I being selfish and inconsiderate

to his and my kids?

I hate this felling of needing to go away.... Disappear.... Vanish

By the way Libby, if your reading this, I am checking Priceline for a

flight ticket to visit you in June..... I have to get myself away

from what is making need to disappear. I just need help lasting that

long.

Please, I'm not asking for sympathy..... I do have a medical

depression and I'm on medication for it. I don not want to

hospitalize myself.... I'm always fine as soon as I'm out of the

situation..... Please understand!!!! Jeanie