Re: emotional craziness/Jill

April 22, 1999

Hi Jill, ( note to the group, further down...)

You're probably not going to get this until you have returned from

your Mom's. I can only hope you return in better state than you left.

I also hope you were able to comfort your Mom as well.

I don't know you very well, not at all actually, but just from the post you

sent earlier, I knew something was up even before you wrote your apology.

Your letter referring to Connie, didn't sound like your normal

self. This is how I knew you were in crisis. How do I know this? I've

been there many, many times. We go off and think later. We are all

running on emotional craziness. It is understandable and please don't

kick yourself too hard. When I've got alot on my plate, I go to the

" zoo " and literally freak right out. I find the emotional outbursts are

good, too, though. It is my sign that way too much has accumulated and time

to do something about it. The trick is to find a " safe " outlet and not hurt

anyone around you in the process.

I try to find " mini " emotional releases. This may sound dumb, but, I

purposely rent a sad movie, ( " Beaches " , with Bette Midler, always does the

trick) and after having a good cry, I feel a whole lot better.

I discovered this one day when I was watching this, and was crying

hysterically, but I wasn't necessarily crying at the movie, I was crying

about EVERYTHING wrong in my life.

I've given up putting up a front that everything is ok, because it is not

OK. Pretending that things are ok takes up way too much energy for me.

With sleep deprivation, this can become a recipe for a breakdown. Been

there, done that!!

To the group:

I know I have written alot lately, and I hope I have not upset anyone by

adding on to their email load. I have been in crisis too, and even though

my posts seem level headed (as some have described me) I have actually been

freaking out alot. However, by responding to someone else's issues, it

brings out alot of truths in me and has been great therapy. I would like to

thank you for reading, writing back to me and just by being there.

Ana Casinha, 34

Woodbridge, Ont.

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