RLS: sleep deprived/hurting/angry

February 22, 1999

Just an observation, folks. It's an observation that many of us have made,

individually, but it's worth remembering from time to time. In the last

year, as a member of this group, I can think of at least ten people who

have " come unglued " or said things they later regretted, and later blamed

it on frustration with the RLS, lack of sleep, pain, or medications. It's

important to realize this, about yourself AND about those with whom you are

dealing. If YOU are feeling testy, angry, and intolerant, there's a darn

good chance it's due to lack of sleep, frustration, or a medication you are

taking. If so, try coming up with a personal plan to postpone comment, or

at least to refrain from hurting others or saying anything you'll end up

regretting. I've been one of those ten people and gotten myself into a

world of problems by blasting my feelings back to the group. One trick

I've learned, is to write to someone privately, when I feel that way. The

person usually knows me and understands me, and I avoid alienating 250+

people. Later, when things calm down, I can write a more responsible

letter to the group. Of course, I'm still working on this great plan.

Also, when we hear anger, intolerance, or nastiness from others, let's try

to NOT immediately think, " What a TURKEY!!! " (yea...I'm sure that you all

use the word " turkey " in that situation.) Instead, go back to the old

saying of " Well HE (or SHE) must have gotten up on the wrong side of bed! "

In the RLS group, in fact, there's a good chance the person never even WENT

to bed. In which case, they need hugs and understanding...or in some

cases, they just need to be ignored until they can get a grip.

I'm not suggesting we all be doormats and goody-goods. I'm suggesting we

look seriously at the effects of sleep deprivation, medications, and pain,

on our anger and our intolerance.

In fact, I've had people ask me whether some of the medications might cause

some of the outbursts we see in the group. I'm sure sleep deprivation and

pain do. I know we've discussed medications that cause grogginess. But I

don't remember people saying too much about certain medications during them

into angry monsters. Does anyone find this to be the case?? It might be

helpful to share some ideas along these lines, so people can help judge

their own behaviors and how their meds might be affecting them.

Jill, 46

Payson, AZ

http://www.netzone.com/~gunzel/rls.html

February 23, 1999

Hi Jill and Group,

I do remember hearing that a side effect of valium was (for some)

feelings of anger. Something to do with the inhibition of daily

annoyances, due to the sedative effects of the drug, which then built up

into irrational rages. I often feel the most angry when I am unable to

control (or think I can't control) what happens to me. RLS is a chief

culprit, with insomnia coming in a close second. Whatever the reasons,

we all have anger of some kind to deal with, and I've been thinking maybe

if our energies were focused on relevant issues, this free-fall type of

outburst might not happen on a personal level. So here's my bright idea.

We read, and then share thoughts and ideas about a certain issue. We

can't get personal when we disagree! I just bought the book called " Life

Strategies " by C. McGraw. Maybe many of you have already read it

- it's been a best seller for a while. One of the chapters is " Life is

Managed; It Is Not Cured " . I am going to read this chapter first,

because I need that philosophy at this point in my life. If one or more

of us reads something that we feel " speaks to us " , maybe we could share

those ideas - pro and con - and vent in a healthy constructive way. The

only ground-rule would be, we don't get personal - we may disagree with

the topic, without trashing each other personally. So maybe only a few

of us (maybe no one but me!) wants to try this, but I really would enjoy

some healthy dialog, with substance, and a relevant focus.

ne, 59, Lawrenceville, NJ (not accepting the victim mode!)

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February 23, 1999