RLS life changes

[Guest guest]

Hello all,

Many of you newer people have not heard too much from me, but I have limited

accsess to the use of a computer. I currently subscibed myself on the computer

at the library, so if you see rbelcastro@..., that's me also, besides

Manti.

The reason I titled the subject line " life changes " , is because this has

definitly changed my life, and I can't say for the better. This has to be one

of the most exaserbating disorders one can have. Between disbelief of spouses,

friends, the medical community, lack of consistent pharmacology to treat this

disorder, the variables of degrees of severity can all alter ones life

dramatically.

There was a time when just a single Klonopin at bedtime was sufficient, but

then the beast grew. Now, to the extent that it has hindered me in all and any

of my endevors it has greatly affected my relationship with my husband and

children. This past week-end, my husband took some time " to think " at his

mothers. The first week-end that we have ever been apart in 13 yrs of

marriage. The stress of a chronic disorder takes it's toll on a relationship

and even though I know that our marriage is strong enough to with stand these

pressures, I'm angry that it had to happen at all.

I am 37 yrs old and too young for this. I've been going down hill

now,physically, for 8yrs.I have missed so much of life. My childrens lives, my

life w/my husband, not to mention my hopes and dreams. After I was accepted

into Nursing school, I put it off for a year in the hopes that I would be

" properly " medicated.Well that didn't happen

and as I tried again for the second year, reality bit me in the face. Even

though I have applied for disability and have a lawyer working on it now, I

still hope that there will be a day that I can accomplish my goals, even if

I'm 99 !

I can understand Ed's " defensivness " , even if at times it may not seem

warrented. He also has a spouse and children-he's the same age as me,

supposedly a man with his whole life ahead of him. It's a bitter pill to

swollow. I know, because I have to constantly remind myself that I may be

overreacting, and I think for a man, it's worse.I am not excusing him for ever

being out of line, just as I don't excuse myself when I find myself falling

into that mode. It's just that I can understand.

I wish I wasn't so tired all the time, because I would get more involved.

Actually a few years ago, I did try to start a support group here in Rhode

Island, but no one wanted to play and at the time, I was working and definitly

didn't have the energy. Now my focus is on this Buacracy called Social

Security.Again I find myself furious because I've been told by my Dr's and the

" Administration " that they intentionally make it difficult inorder to " weed

out " the potentional frauds. Yet who remains hurt by this, yes, those in need!

It's a disgusting process. If I came off a boat or something, I could get all

kinds of entitlements, but since my hard working husband makes $200 too much

gross, we don't qualify for squat!!!!!!!!!!!! Blah !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I guess enough said, for now. Those of you who only need one pill or a

Tylenol or an asprin, please be thankful. But, never forget your RLS problems

are just as important as anyones-please realize that I'm just venting, alot !

Take care all and sleep well le R.I.