Ode to RLS - (RLS - sort of...)

[Guest guest]

Dear Group,

This poem was part of a " little " cheer-up letter, sent to me by our in

New York City... ( Sqrl523 ). I enjoyed her talent and clever wit so much, I

asked her permission to share it with the whole group. I guess this is an

example of what one person does when they have RLS in the middle of the

night.........I hope you all enjoy it as much as I did! Happy Spring,

everyone......and thank you again, Susie, for the smiles........

Ode to Restless Leg Syndrome

By ( Sqrl523 )

Evening was falling throughout many houses

people were stirring, annoying their spouses.

Writhing and kicking their legs in distress,

cause that's what you do when you've got RLS.

You lay down to sleep and you turn out the light

but your legs feel like dancing and moving all night.

So you bend and you stretch and you twist and you kick,

and you take so much medicine, now you are sick!

You make yourself tea or you suck on some suckers,

and scream at your legs " Just be still, you dumb F**ckers " !

Your mind is a wreck, disposition is sour,

you're losing your grip with each passing hour.

Our doctors have told us it's all in our head...

it's your nerves, growing pains......so just get into bed~!

But at least there's a group now of folks on the net

who know what you mean when you say that you get

An insatiable urge to get up and stretch,

so that you can log on and just ramble and kvetch.

We've got Connie in land, and Jodi, our " Boss "

If they ever left I would feel such a loss.

There's Jeanne in Vermont with her dog, Mr. Biggles

who looks on in awe when her legs get the wiggles.

There's Jack in New York with his clever retorts

who keeps us informed with his weather reports.

There WAS Ed in Philly who frequently shouted...

there's from Mars who was recently " outed "

and who was the lady who got such a shock

when she found out was really a Doc?

We have Phil in Australia and Marleen, who's Dutch

and dear Dr. Levin......I miss him so much!

I would say as a group we are certainly varied,

we're male and we're female, we're single, we're married.

We're young and we're old.....we're cheerful, we're glum.......

Good people, like Colin, who cares for his Mum.

Oh yes......while we're at it, let's not forget Jill,

who, when things get heated, reminds us to chill.

Once people find us, most of them stay,

but sometimes our bickering drives folks away.

Cus we're cranky and angry....we're missing our ZZZZZZ's,

from continually twisting and shaking our knees.

We are prone to depression and apnea.....snoring.......

But look on the bright side......at least, we're not boring!

We fidget on car rides...at work...on a plane...

a two-hour movie can drive us insane!

We're given to crying and popping a pill

If THIS one won't help us, perhaps that one will

So we're often in search of some magic elixir

But what fixes HIM, will often not fix her.

We swallow our Sinemet, Ambien, Valium,

So many pills that it's too hard to tally 'em.

And with all of these drugs you have to be cautious,

they can give you bad headaches and make you quite naseaus

They can make you so tired that you can't get your socks off,

or make you so numb that you can't get your rocks off.......:-)

While some say that " natural " and " herbal " are best,

oh, the things that we go through to just get some rest.

There are those who take Mirapex, others smoke Pot...

Some swear by magnets, while others do not.

Who knows......maybe some day there will be a pill

that will calm down our legs and that won't make us ill.

But until that day comes we'll still quibble and fight

and send lots of e-mail all day and all night.

Expressing our feelings and ranting and raving

most we'll delete, but then some are worth saving.

In posting our e-mails, perhaps just in haste,

we often hit " forward " and not cut and paste.

Or post to the group some extraneous jokes

that tie up the system and piss off some folks.

Some some folks contribute and others just lurk

every once in a while we can get a real jerk

But at 3 in the morning, when you're at your wit's end

it's a nice thing to know that you've got a friend.

When we do get to sleep, just to toss and to snore...

More than likely our blankets end up on the floor.

We whine and we pray and we plead and we beg,

this stupid disorder's a pain in the..............leg...

Well, I'm going to bed now, my mind's switching gears,

So Goodnight everyone...or as Jeanne would say... " Cheers! "