Sunday 3 am

[Guest guest]

Every once in a while I have an RLS attack that really puts me back in synch

with the group..........a feeling that makes me know why I could never walk

away and why we have to keep on fighting this every day, and pushing for more

substantial relief to be found.

I know the human spirit is an amazing thing, and that the longer we endure

something, the more accustomed we become to it. Supposedly, this also makes

our feelings easier to bear. But on nights like tonight, all the knowledge in

the world doesn't comfort me. In fact, nights like this make me so afraid of

feeling this way and not being able to get up and walk around.....or having my

codeine to take, to dull the awful sensations. My mind travels to places I'd

just as soon it wouldn't.

It's been a full hour and finally I'm beginning to feel some blessed relief.

Not total relief......but it's bearable. I will be able to distract myself

either surfing around the net or reading........planning things that need

doing around here.

I think I need to investigate some sources of mind-control again. Meditation,

biofeedback........whatever. I wonder if I could ever become really

proficient at it enough to draw strength when I really need it. I want so

badly to come up with several different sources of comfort because i live in

fear of my daughter telling me that RLS has begun to attack her.......and I

will have that added frustration, which I experience already through my

several " adopted daughters " here in the group.

Well, time to get up and walk some more and maybe have a nice glass of tonic

water. I happen to love the stuff. One of my favorite summertime drinks is a

huge glass filled with ice, tonic water and grapefruit juice.

I wonder if some of what I'm feeling is caused by the big snowstorm that is

threatening land today.........

I hope everyone else is sleeping well.........

Connie