NON RLS FOR HUMOR ONLY!!!!!!!!!!!

[Guest guest]

> DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN

>

> Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n.

> A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he hasn't

> realized it yet.

>

> Airhead (er*hed) n.

> What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by

> a policeman.

>

> Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n

> You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the

> tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned

> everything up, but, he " made the dinner. "

>

> Blonde jokes (blond joks) n.

> Jokes that are short so men can understand them.

>

> Cantaloupe (kant*e*lope) n

> Gotta get married in a church.

>

> Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n.

> An appliance designed to eat socks.

>

> Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n.

> A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half

> pound bag of peanut M&Ms.

>

> Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n.

> The last two minutes of a football game.

>

> Exercise (ex*er*siz) v

> To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make

> a purchase.

>

> Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list) n.

> What you spend 1/2 an hour writing, then forget to take to

> the store.

>

> Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n.

> Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able

> to duplicate again. See " Magician. "

>

> Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n

> Similar to a black hole in space -- if he goes in, he isn't coming

> out anytime soon.

>

> Childbirth (child*brth) n.

> You get to go through 36 hours of contractions; he gets to

> hold your hand and say " focus,...breathe...push... "

>

> Lipstick (lip*stik) n

> On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of your mouth.

> On his collar, coloring only a tramp would wear...!

>

> Park (park) v./n.

> Before children, a verb meaning, " to go somewhere and neck. "

> After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and slide.

>

> Patience (pa*shens) n.

> The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children.

> See also " tranquilizers. "

>

> Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n.

> Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if

> you try to remove it.

>

> Valentine's Day (val*en*tinez dae) n

> A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds,

> and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card.

>

> --------- End forwarded message ----------

>

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