Travel to a Distant Land

June 18, 2000

Travel To a Distant Land

Dr. J. Vitale

Muscular Dystrophy Association

Being seriously ill is like traveling to a foreign country, something which

I've had a bit of experience in. There's the issue of different individuals,

a different culture, a different language and new restrictions. And there's

something called culture shock. Early in 1993, a close friend of mine was

dying painfully from pancreatic cancer at age 51. His wife said to me that

being ill is like traveling to a foreign country. I internalized this

well-meaning comment intellectually but not emotionally. The full impact of

this statement was yet to jolt me. It began shortly thereafter. At the time

of my diagnosis, I recalled her statement and it gave me hope since I had

lived in many foreign countries. I knew in my heart that I had enough skill

and knowledge to survive even in some of the most inhospitable and violent

regions of the world. It made me confident that I could survive this " new

country. "

How you wish you could describe what it's really like to friends back in your

home country. A postcard just doesn't convey more than a shadow of an idea.

The people back home would have to come to see you in your new place in order

to understand. And what's the matter with some of them? Do they think you've

gone off to Mars? It's only another country. Everyone here is human. Don't

they know how long you've been away? A month feels like a year; a year is a

lifetime. Hurry, because I'm changing so fast, you won't recognize me. Hurry,

because when you casually ask " How are you? " and I answer " Not bad, " you'll

never, never know what " not bad " really means. You begin to internalize the

title of Wolfe's famous book: " You Can't Go Home Again. "

Well, here you are in this new land. And you become aware that the sun still

shines and the birds still sing. Life is good and you're still alive. And you

notice that the people here are smiling more sincerely. They look at you as

if you are someone special. They care. And you? What have you learned? You've

learned that time is different here. That this place has a different set of

values. Those values are family and friends. All the rest is unimportant.

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