Re: Response to Susie G

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In a message dated 5/9/00 10:19:24 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

MiniGastricBypass (AT) e writes:

> Pam, I

> was fascinated about what you said about the visits to the psychiatrist

> after the surgery. Is it mandatory? and what issues do they address.

> Its funny that I think after the surgery if all goes well, and I pray

> that they do, that my issues would start to lessen,but I guess that

> certainly is not the case.

I am not Pam, I am , but of course, I do have something to share on this

one! Because I grew up basically a fat person, I thought every problem I had

in life was because I was fat. That was why I didn't have a boyfriend when I

was 16, that was why this teacher didn't like me, why I wasn't picked for

this job....yada yada, yada. The world DOES treat you differently if you are

a fat person. We ALL have experienced that, but you know what, I treat the

world differently when I am fat too. I translate so many abuses from the

world as " because I am fat " , when that isn't always the reason. God forbid

that someone just not like me!

As a FAT FEMALE attorney, let me tell you, I know all about first

impressions. I have had to be twice as good and work twice as hard to get

the recognition, but I was able to do that even as a fat attorney. I was

hired as the General Counsel of a software company when I weighed 300 lbs. I

was the first woman they made a vice-president. I was sure I would be

rejected because of my weight, but I was able to overcome it. Was it a

strike against me? Sure? Should it have been? Probably not, but I would

bet my bottom dollar they had a discussion about whether or not i fit the

" image " .

The first, and only time, I lived life in a thin body, I was stunned that

life wasn't perfect. It WAS a lot better. I didn't have to be as defensive,

I was more accepted, I could do more things, I was less self conscious, but I

WAS still me. I have been in therapy off an on for 20 years. I adhere to

the principle that people don't come preshrunk and that EVERYONE can benefit

from a good therapist.

My expectations have changed about thinness. I am also at a very different

place in my life. I am happy, I am married, I have 3 kids I adore, I am a

success in my career, I have plenty of friends. Whether I lose or gain a

pound, I am a good person and thinness won't make me better or worse, just

thin. It will increase the pleasure in my life, restore my health and make

me live longer, but it may even increase some problems, too. (What if my

husband and I fight over my new clothes budget!!!) This is an exciting

venture and I am up for the task. I wouldn't dare start such a courageous

adventure without guidance and support and I get that from all my friends AND

a wonderful therapist!

Safe journey,

MGB 03 MAY 00

Safely on the other side!!!!

Dr. Rutledge clos.net

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