Re: You'll Be OK!

May 1, 2000

-

We never know why we make the decisions we do but evidently your intuition

told you that now was not the time. Don't second guess yourself. You just

need more time to explore this idea of surgery. I have to admit, I agree

with , I am scared. I have spent my whole life fat. The only time I

wasn't was when I spent half the day at the gym or threw up all the time. So

why do I feel sick to my stomach every time I think about this? Do any of

you veterans out there have any suggestions? I am praying about this all the

time but I am so nervous, did anybody else out there go through this??

Jackie in DE

May 2, 2000

This is in reply to Jackie's reply to . I am a pre-op and I have been

online more than once telling everyone that I was on the fence with this

decision. I am so spooked by it. I found, if it helps anyone, that there

are stages that I go through. The first one is I am so angry. It's not a

" why me " but sort of a " why anybody " . I am ticked off because this fat is

even an issue with me. Then I go through the stage of denial, here I have

diabetes and HBP yet I start thinking well, maybe I should just exercise lots

more, eat lots less. Like I can do that, I've proven 200 times over that

that just doesn't work for me. Then I go through the acceptance stage and

tell myself that this is the only answer and that I'm trading all my

comorbidities for some vitamin taking and some unknown nutritional

deficiencies (possibly). I also go through stages of thinking that I won't

tell anyone, to thinking that I'll only tell fat people that I run in to that

they might be saved as well. I have dreamed about this, mainly fearful

dreams. I came online with all this just as died. We all know the

impact she made on our lives. I keep thinking if I kiss my husband goodbye

that might be the last kiss. On the other hand, I cannot bear this fat any

longer. It's just a tug of war for me at this moment. As of yesterday, I

decided to keep on pursuing it, see my doctor, send in my patient info to

Debbie....and then, you know what , if I end up on the guerney ready

to go in and decide not to...that's ok. ! I'm sure everyone here would tell

you there is not time limit. That you can always turn back and wait for a

bit. This will ease you mind. Pray to God that he give you a sign that it

is ok to go forward and don't look back at what you did. Who knows what the

outcome would have been had you gone ahead. At least now when you get ready

again, you will be SURE. Don't leave God out of this decision. Ask him for

a sign and ask him for peace. Love, Liz

May 2, 2000

Dave, How are you doing? What is the good & bad? I need to know.

Trice Lanman

praying Dr. R. will help me to the other side soon!!!

Las Vegas NV

bmi 40

May 2, 2000

Liz-

You took the words right out of my mouth. I often ask my self " how did you

even get in this mess? " What choices do we have though, we can stay fat and

miserable or finally get our lives together. But that choice may cost us our

lives. My best friend asked me - have you really given losing weight the

traditional way all that you have to give? I thought I did but now I am

second guessing myself. I decided this morning I am going for it and praying

for a sign or an obstacle. Which ever comes my way I hope I will be at peace

with it.

Jackie in DE

I

May 2, 2000

Liz-

You took the words right out of my mouth. I often ask my self " how did you

even get in this mess? " What choices do we have though, we can stay fat and

miserable or finally get our lives together. But that choice may cost us our

lives. My best friend asked me - have you really given losing weight the

traditional way all that you have to give? I thought I did but now I am

second guessing myself. I decided this morning I am going for it and praying

for a sign or an obstacle. Which ever comes my way I hope I will be at peace

with it.

Jackie in DE

I

May 2, 2000

Liz-

You took the words right out of my mouth. I often ask my self " how did you

even get in this mess? " What choices do we have though, we can stay fat and

miserable or finally get our lives together. But that choice may cost us our

lives. My best friend asked me - have you really given losing weight the

traditional way all that you have to give? I thought I did but now I am

second guessing myself. I decided this morning I am going for it and praying

for a sign or an obstacle. Which ever comes my way I hope I will be at peace

with it.

Jackie in DE

I

May 2, 2000

Dave

Thank you! You sound like a very wise man. I think what is bothering me is

the fact that I am basically a pretty healthy person. I have no

co-morbidities. YET! I just want to be sure it is the answer for me. I am

85% there. By my date I will be 100% (i think)

Jackie in DE

May 2, 2000

Dave

Thank you! You sound like a very wise man. I think what is bothering me is

the fact that I am basically a pretty healthy person. I have no

co-morbidities. YET! I just want to be sure it is the answer for me. I am

85% there. By my date I will be 100% (i think)

Jackie in DE

May 2, 2000

Dave

Thank you! You sound like a very wise man. I think what is bothering me is

the fact that I am basically a pretty healthy person. I have no

co-morbidities. YET! I just want to be sure it is the answer for me. I am

85% there. By my date I will be 100% (i think)

Jackie in DE

May 2, 2000

Jackie,

I think anyone with any sense at all has had the heeby-jeebies

regarding the surgery. I mean its elective, the pressure is on you

to decide whether the procedure is worth while and no really long

term studies have been done on the MGB as yet. The first thought

thought I had in recovery was, " O Lord, what have I done! " That's

why I now say, " Take your own sweet time with this. " There are a lot

of folks who have had the procedure and they are thrilled with it.

It is easy to go to the clinics and meet all of those folks excited

about having the procedure and to read all of the exiting posts about

weight loss and easy recovery and just get caught up in the

euphoria. I think that perhaps too many decisions are based on

euphoric feelings. Well, the ecitement may be a necessary part of the

process, but you also have to give yourself the time to let these

feeling work themselves out so that you can take a long logical look

at the MGB to see if it is right for you. Sounds like you are doing

that. Fact is, while I am now glad I had the surgery, there is

definetly a lot to get used to. For me, the reality of the MGB did

not immediately live up to my expectations because my expectations

were way too high. What I am trying to say is, a little fear may be

a sign of wisdom not indecision. Take your time to explore those

fears and see whether or not they are there for good reason.

Dave in NC

> -

>

> We never know why we make the decisions we do but evidently your

intuition

> told you that now was not the time. Don't second guess yourself.

You just

> need more time to explore this idea of surgery. I have to admit, I

agree

> with , I am scared. I have spent my whole life fat. The only

time I

> wasn't was when I spent half the day at the gym or threw up all the

time. So

> why do I feel sick to my stomach every time I think about this? Do

any of

> you veterans out there have any suggestions? I am praying about

this all the

> time but I am so nervous, did anybody else out there go through

this??

>

> Jackie in DE

May 2, 2000

In a message dated 5/2/00 11:19:01 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

Dcaldwell@... writes:

<< What I am trying to say is, a little fear may be

a sign of wisdom not indecision. Take your time to explore those

fears and see whether or not they are there for good reason. >>

AMEN! Ladies and Gentlemen, these are very good words of advice to listen

to. Liz

May 2, 2000

In a message dated 5/2/00 11:19:01 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

Dcaldwell@... writes:

<< What I am trying to say is, a little fear may be

a sign of wisdom not indecision. Take your time to explore those

fears and see whether or not they are there for good reason. >>

AMEN! Ladies and Gentlemen, these are very good words of advice to listen

to. Liz

May 2, 2000

In a message dated 5/2/00 11:19:01 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

Dcaldwell@... writes:

<< What I am trying to say is, a little fear may be

a sign of wisdom not indecision. Take your time to explore those

fears and see whether or not they are there for good reason. >>

AMEN! Ladies and Gentlemen, these are very good words of advice to listen

to. Liz

May 2, 2000

In a message dated 5/2/00 2:20:13 PM Eastern Daylight Time, brisajama@...

writes:

<<

Liz-

You took the words right out of my mouth. I often ask my self " how did you

even get in this mess? " What choices do we have though, we can stay fat and

miserable or finally get our lives together. But that choice may cost us

our

lives. My best friend asked me - have you really given losing weight the

traditional way all that you have to give? I thought I did but now I am

second guessing myself. I decided this morning I am going for it and

praying

for a sign or an obstacle. Which ever comes my way I hope I will be at

peace

with it.

Jackie in DE

>>

Hey Jackie,

You and I are thinking alike. My " current " plan is to exerise more, but

gently, like walking in and out my driveway which is 1/3 mile long and hilly,

doing that 2 -3 times a day and eating a bit more gently....not dieting per

se but being considerate of what I need to eat. And then I am slowly but

steadily pursuing the Dr. R route. I need to go over my patient info form

again and redo some of it and then I will fill it out online and send it in.

I also need to see my PCP (I swore I was going to call today and discuss

this with her. I am talking very frequently with God, praying that He will

open and close doors according to His will. Thanks for hearing me out and

stay with me !! Liz

May 2, 2000