Re: My last pre-op post/Heartfelt

May 12, 2000

In a message dated 5/12/2000 11:13:58 AM Eastern Daylight Time,

DonaFarmer@... writes:

<< I know I have been lucky so far in not having any serious

health problems due to my weight. It is only a matter of time. 2)

because I am tired: TIRED of being stared at. TIRED of being laughed

at. TIRED of wondering what people are saying behind my back. TIRED

of walking in to a room and looking for a steady chair, or wondering

if I sit on that soft couch will I be able to get back up without

embarassing myself by grunting and having to " haul " my fat butt up

out of it. TIRED of not being able to play with my grandchildren

because any physical activity causes me to gasp for breath. TIRED of

not wanting to go anywhere because I am ashamed of my weight and not

having any decent clothes that fit (and I am not going shopping for

the next size up). TIRED of not wanting to attend any social

functions with my husband because even though I know he would never

feel this way- I feel ashamed of me and I don't people to think less

of him because he has a FAT woman hanging on his arm. >>

Dona,

you're letter so hit home with me and impacted me when I read it. My

first thought was how can this be, this woman has my thoughts, my life. Then

I almost came to tears realizing that so many people on this site have lived

my life, the same thoughts, the shame, the guilt even though we know we have

nothing to be ashamed of, society makes us feel as though we should and we

live our lives feeling as if we will never measure up to the so called

" normal people " . I wish you well on you're journey to the other side. May God

guide Dr. R's gifted hands and keep you safe. I pray that I too one day will

be there.

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