My last pre-op post

[Guest guest]

My journey so far:

I guess you could say that my journey really began over a year ago

when I first started investigating WLS through the internet. After

visiting many other web sites and being sent lots of materials

(videos, pamplets, etc...)through the mail from some of them I

finally landed at the clos.net web site. After reading through the

material on the web site the first time, I knew that I had finally

found the answer I was seeking and ultimatley decided that the MGB

that Dr. Rutledge was offering was the best option for me. I am not

like a lot of the patients that I see on here. I am not doing this to

please my husband or to get him to love me again. My husband is my #1

fan and I feel assured that he would love me just as much at any

weight. He has always been supportive of me in anything I decided to

do including all the crazy diets I have tried over the years. And he

has never been critical of my failures. I am not doing this because

of any current physical or mental health problems- I don't have any.

I am doing this for 2 reasons: 1) because I want to prevent all the

physical health problems that I know my weight is going to cause in

the future. I know I have been lucky so far in not having any serious

health problems due to my weight. It is only a matter of time. 2)

because I am tired: TIRED of being stared at. TIRED of being laughed

at. TIRED of wondering what people are saying behind my back. TIRED

of walking in to a room and looking for a steady chair, or wondering

if I sit on that soft couch will I be able to get back up without

embarassing myself by grunting and having to " haul " my fat butt up

out of it. TIRED of not being able to play with my grandchildren

because any physical activity causes me to gasp for breath. TIRED of

not wanting to go anywhere because I am ashamed of my weight and not

having any decent clothes that fit (and I am not going shopping for

the next size up). TIRED of not wanting to attend any social

functions with my husband because even though I know he would never

feel this way- I feel ashamed of me and I don't people to think less

of him because he has a FAT woman hanging on his arm. TIRED of my

Mother and other people who have never had a weight problem saying-

" Why cant you just stop eating? " TIRED of listening to the thin

ladies in the office complaining about how they " feel so fat " because

they need to loose 5 or 10 pounds all the while knowing and feeling

that their comments are a direct affront to me and my weight. TIRED

of looking in the mirror and seeing this 110 pound woman (mentally)

in a 250 pound body and wondering " how did this happen? " . TIRED of

failed diets. But most of all- I am TIRED OF BEING TIRED!!!

I don't have any advice for anyone who is contemplating this except

to say to be patient. Once you have decided that this is the answer

for you, you must realize that it is not going to happen tomorrow no

matter how bad you may want it to. I did not have any of the problems

that I have read about with other pre-op patients. I submitted my on-

line form and they received it with no problems. 2 days later I

received by email a copy of the letter that Dr. R.'s office sent to

my insurance company. If my eyes werent already opened to what my

future held- that letter would have definitly done it! I waited 2

days for my insurance company to receive it and called them. I was

told over the phone that I was approved and I asked them to fax me a

copy of the approval- which I received on that same afternoon and

forwarded to Dr. R's office. I called my PCP, gynocologist, and the

Breast Diagnostic center to make all of those appointments. In the

meantime I got the rest of the information ready for my packet (my

family support letter, my letter, my list of contacts, etc...) I had

all of my appointments behind me within 3 weeks and sent all of the

results along with my PCP's approval in my packet to Debbie. I called

to confirm that she had received them and talked to Barbara who set

me up with my clinic date(5/16) and my surgery date (5/17). I have

not yet met Dr. R but he has responded (very timely, I might add) to

several email questions I have sent to him. I am looking forward to

meeting him as well as the rest of his staff and some of the new

friends I have made next week.

I feel lucky that I have had such a realtivly smooth road on this

journey so far. I have met some great people and made some new

friends. I am looking forward to being " on the other side " soon and

will keep all of you who are interested updated on my progress.

Love in Christ

Dona Farmer

MGB scheduled 5/17

current weight 252