to Gertrude and all fighting mothers

[Guest guest]

Gertrude,

I just wanted to thank you for your long email about the other things

you do for your children along with SCD. It was a very wonderful

explanation and I may print it out for my mother, who seems to resent my

paranoia with such things. Though she's watched her child (me) suffer

from Crohn's Disease horribly for 17 years, there still is a tendency to

make me feel as if I'm overprotective with my healthy children in

regards to extra stuff; like the mercury in the local fish, cleaning

products, etc. Though my children do not suffer like some on this list,

they do share the potential gene to develop autoimmunity, and so I try

to give them the healthiest start they can have, and feed them mostly

SCD, though the necessity for such restriction is not as clear. I know

if they were autistic my mother would do a lot more to restrict food

choices, but since they are healthy, it is regarded more as a burden, or

my own liberal paranoia.

I still am fighting constant battles with her bringing in her own food

(pasta, pumpkin pie, soda) that my children covet, and I am constantly

being the bad guy when it comes to treats. She understands that I need

to eat this way to be healthy, and respects our food choices in our own

home, but has never suffered herself from ill effects (except being

overweight and having high cholesterol), so does not self-limit much in

front of them. It is a constant fine line between respecting her own

choices, and having to explain why Grandma gets to eat cereal. And

though it's Cheerios, (which is supposed to be healthy?) that I prefer

them to eat oatmeal, or almond flour pancakes. My older daughter,

perhaps because of our restrictions, is more and more drawn to bread and

cereal and pasta, and my family says things like, " well, you've got to

check with Mom " when they know I'm trying to limit the consumption of

these foods. They get a large amount of treats, both SCD and otherwise,

and I don't want to make a big issue of it and cause food rebellion

later, so I let them eat what they want at friend's houses, and if my

mom buys a big pie from the store, provided they eat a good dinner, I

allow them to have a piece. I know she's thankful when we are not

around, and she can go back to " normal " eating, away from the critical

eye of her children and grandchildren. (We've been traveling together

for a month, and she lives with us on and off, though in a seperate

dwelling.)

I applaud all of you mothers for doing so much for your children. I only

wish when I was 16 and diagnosed with Crohn's Disease (the year BTVC

came out) my mother had such tenacity and dedication. What was all right

for her was obviously not for me, and now the next generation is being

tempted with ice cream, cereal, high fructose corn syrup. It is just so

emotional at times. Food should not be such a battle.

Debora

mother to Malakai (7) and Saskia (4), tempted by the world