Re: The way to happiness...A keeper:

[Guest guest]

Thank you, Dear Dr. Tan:

This is beautiful, and I will keep it, because we need people like you to be honest.

A friend told me that we should have something happy to look forward to each day. This morning, I saw a Humming bird in our flowers, and that made me happy....it was for The First Time.

Thank you again for your Wisdom...with respect....Lea

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The way to happiness...

Allow me to speak about my observations in my practice:When I was starting out with my cosmetic surgery practice, I thought that all patients knew what would really make them happy... well, after seeing hundreds of patients, I learned that that was wrong.Some patients who come to us don't really know what would make them happy, they merely come to us to have something done which would make their husband happy... their partners... their family... or even the guys that stare at them whenever they look good. It turns out, they just know what would make others happy, and not themselves.Then when they get something done, they still want more... more... more... that is their insatiable hunger for what they think would make them happy until they end up losing all their money, but still, haven't found a tiny morsel of happiness.Through the years, I have learned through observation that sometimes they come to us because they are confused, and they only echo what others want for them thinking that would make them happy. And so, I have learned to ask the right questions, I usually start by asking them, "What would make you happy?", (as oppose to other surgeons asking "what do you hate about yourself?")... then if for example they say, "big boobs", I make sure that it's them that want it and not other people. If it turns out that they really want "bigger breasts", that's the time that we discuss the safer alternatives. And should they turn out as merely echoing what others tell them, then I advise them to maybe go on a vacation, or try a spa treatment (which we also have)... or even just stay in their house and do a craft which they might find interesting.You might be wondering, if I still ever do get patients, well, yes, I do... but since the patients I get are the ones that are realistic with their expectations, and they know what would make them happy, they end up being "improved' versions of themselves.As they keep telling us during our training, "If you get a patient that doesn't know what would make them happy in the first place, then whatever you do won't make them happy." And those are the patients that end up being headaches for us, because they'll keep complaining why it wasn't as they expected, etc etc...It is a wn-win situation because we make sure first that the patient really knows what they are doing and whether it would make them happy, if not, then I personally help them look for alternatives to what can help them find happiness.True happiness is "contentment"... even if you live in a shoebox and yet you are content, then you are far better off than the sultan that lives in a palace who can't find what would make him happy.Happiness is a state of mind... an intersection of acceptance, contentment, and profound appreciation of what was given to you.Of course you have to balance contentment and aspiration-to-achieve, like why stop at being "good enough grooming" when you can comb your hair and you would look better. Cosmetic surgery (the safe alternatives) is just like make-up that can enhance you, but it is still up to you whether you will be happy after or end up finding that elusive state of happiness.Well, if you can never be happy now, you will never be happier after... but only if you can find that spark of happiness inside of you NOW, that you can find that blaze after cosmetic surgery.Bottomline, , search your heart... ask yourself, is having bigger breasts really what would make you happy, won't other things in life serve as alternatives, like good health, happy kids... great friends? If you still want them, then do your homework, research, find the safe alternatives and look for people who have underwent the procedures. Read the stories of the women on this list, they are a treasure of warnings to everyone considering saline implants.At the end of the day... your friends won't be with you... your partner might leave you (hopefully not)... your kids will eventually grow up and leave... and you would realize that what is important is yourself. When you are old and gray, you won't remember the whistles of guys on your figure... you won't remember the compliments you got on your wardrobe... everything fades... and you search your heart and ask yourself, "Did I live a happy life?"Believe me, you will only answer yes to that question if you have contentment.PS: I have been so busy the past weeks with the construction of my new clinic / medical center, but last Sunday, after a tiring day with the family, instead of going straight home, I decided to pass by a park... it was around 10pm already, but when we arrived at the park, the wind was blowing gently, the moon was hiding halfway on the clouds... the birds were asleep... and the surroundings had an aroma of mixed flowers. I sat on a bench, looked at the sky... the surrounding field... and then looked at the grass below me. You know what, for that brief moment, I had peace and contentment... I was happy. I looked at my family... they were happy, we were healthy... and God's presence was evident with His wonderful creation surrounding me. That is happiness... because I was content.Let's all try to find a "pocket of happiness" in our day... even if you are busy throughout the day, look for a place that would make you happy... if you can't go far, listen to a song that brings back good and happy memories... if you have the time and resources, then go to a place where you have never gone before and seek happiness along the way.For most people, they might end up singing the song, "Never been to me"... and realize that everything they need to be happy is with them afterall, it's just a matter of identifying them.When I have time, I drive down to the beach, it's around a 30-minute drive from our house... I go at night, I just walk on the beach and listen to the waves... and then everything just goes back to basic happiness and contentment... again ready to face the busy and tiring days ahead of me.... I pray that you would find happiness, in whatever form... be it in cosmetic surgery or not, as long as you are happy and healthy.