WLS Observations...

September 3, 2002

I know I am too young to post here, but I was thinking about a few

things, and thought your group might appreciate these observations.

I am Rankin from Mt. Pulaski, IL. I had RNY Lap on November

19, 2001. I started at 249 and am down to 144. I started in a size

24 and am wearing 7/8 now. I feel so blessed to have been part of

this surgery. Please take these thoughts tongue in cheek.

Here are my observations:

After nine 1/2 months, 105 lbs, and 16 sizes (and going!), I have

made some observations on how differently people treat you after you

have gone from a Big Gal to a Teeny Gal. Each group of individuals

responds a little bit differently, depending on your prior

relationship to them. So, here goes:

Large Women (like my former self):

Other Big Girls who have struggled with food and weight issues just

like you may soon see you as the enemy, or " one of those skinny Bs "

we all love to hate. I remember saying of some size 6, " Look at her,

prancing around showing off her figure. " If these women didn't know

you before, you are just another showy cheerleader who must think she

is all that, cause, well, LOOK AT HER!!!

And if these women DID know you before, chances are that most of your

conversations revolve around their current attempts at losing

weight. Every week, size 20+ women approach me, say hi, make sure

I'm not going to collapse from all the weight I've lost (because

there would be justice in that), and then proceed to tell me how they

are going to Curves, Weight Watchers, etc.

My advice to them is: I don't see you any differently than I did

before. You don't have to prove you are trying to lose weight just

because I did. My choice to have WLS was mine, and I'm not going to

push it on you. But if you want my help, I know a really great

surgeon...

Medium Sized Women:

To mid range women, sizes 12-18, I was doing ok as long as I stayed

bigger than them. Once I hit size 10, I became a threat to their

self-esteem. They begin saying things like, " I'm a real tub compared

to you--maybe I should have that surgery! "

While they might appreciate them, don't try to offer your too big

clothes to them. It will kill them.

My advice to them is: You are great the way you are. Don't make me

explain to you that needing to lose 30 lbs. doesn't qualify you for

the surgery. Remember how I looked last year at this time? I was

miserable and well beyond conventional dieting; otherwise, I wouldn't

have made the choice I did. And if I had to pay 40 grand for this

surgery, plus scars and life style change, I had better keep losing!

Yes, I would love to work out with you, cause I could use a friend

who is supportive.

Tiny Women sizes 0-10:

To this group of women, I am an enigma. Suddenly, I have joined

their club. Like winning the lottery, I have been given

opportunities that were never open to me before. These women are

making eye contact with me, inviting me to go shopping, and generally

treating me as an equal. I am stupefied. They have backed off from

flirtatious conversations with my husband (at least while I'm around).

To these women, I say that I will not join you in making the fat

jokes about my friends. We may be in the same aerobics class

together, but that doesn't mean that I don't still crave a Big Mac

now and then. I wasn't born into your class--in fact, wasn't you in

high school who always called me Fatty Patti? Back off--I don't need

fake friends.

To those thin gals who didn't know me before, be prepared. I have

seen the world from all shapes and sizes, and I will protect the

large and defenseless, because these are my roots.

Finally, All Men:

To any man, whether he knew me pre-op or not, I am a goddess. Men

look at me like I have never been looked at before. Strangers make

long eye contact with me during chitchat. Truckers honk at me (even

in my minivan!). At parties, I am genuinely fearful that someone

will ask me to dance or for my phone number. My protective 100-pound

flesh wall is down, and I am vulnerable to all eyes. I feel naked

and empowered all at the same time. I can have ANYTHING, because I

am beautiful. My smile gets me out of speeding tickets, and into

anyplace I desire.

To these men I say: I am still a person with a brain. I used to

spend so much time trying to prove to you that I am funny, smart, and

knowledgeable beyond my fatness. Now I have to prove to you that I

am more than just a great body!

I must learn not to use my powers of persuasion for evil.

And to my husband: No matter how other men may look at me, it is YOU

AND ONLY YOU whom I dream about. Stop using you energy on being

jealous, and put it to work making yourself worthy of me!

September 3, 2002

Great observations.....but still you aren't a year out and rules is rules!

This would be useful for the folks on the big group. I suggest you post it

there.

Sue in Las Vegas