Guest guest Posted September 4, 2002 Report Share Posted September 4, 2002 , I have some young people send me similar emails, most have been more specific and about those items that we know are most important. For those that ask, even adults, I often repsond with asking them to be more specific as to what they really want to know. If you feel, from the basis of the eMail that she is only doing it to be thin and beautiful, then you would be safe in advising her to turn to her parents and physician for the important answers regarding the after affects of the surgery. ///Bob RNY - 7/13/79 advise: dilemma > Dear Group, > I find myself without words (oh yeah, that's a first ;-)) Some times people > who are researching write me from my web-site. I'm always happy to hear from > them. Today I got an e-mail from a 17 year old girl who will have surgery in > October. She asked a lot of good questions about the surgery, about plastics > down the road and so on and nothing at all about after-care -- supplements, > a new way of eating, I mean, nothing beyond or like...what is life going to > be like on a daily basis. > I feel un-nerved answering her -- first, I don't know if I need parental > permission to e-mail her although I'm sure she must have her parents support > and at the same time -- while I'm not object to young people having this > surgery I'm not to sure how to talk to her. I want to tell her that her > whole life will change and for her to know that I don't mean what size she > will be... that she must spend time learning and researching what to do for > her health post this surgery and that this is a life long commitment to > making different choices, vitamins, calcium needs the same as an older > woman, her protein, her dates, her labs -- what is it going to be like for > her in high school? Classmates tend to be so bad about teasing and > testing -- > > Ok, I just feel really weird writing to her and not knowing at all what to > say... any ideas? Any other young people out there with advise? I'm not her > mother and I don't want to come off sounding like her mother -- surely their > is an OSSG group for young people isn't there? Can some one direct me to > that so I can suggest she get some peer support? > > hugz, > ~denise on shaky ground > > > Homepage: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG > > Unsubscribe: mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 4, 2002 Report Share Posted September 4, 2002 Hey , If it were my daughter who was about to do something this radical (and I hadn't already had the surgery), I'd want someone who's " been there " to give her an honest account of what life will be like. Personally, I'd answer the questions that she asked, and also find a way to answer the ones that she didn't. ------------------------------------------------ Terry Mayers 5DollarHosting.comT http://www.5dollarhosting.com http://www.5dollarhosting.com/> (877)-838-HOST / .... because it shouldn't cost a fortune to make a fortune! R advise: dilemma Dear Group, I find myself without words (oh yeah, that's a first ;-)) Some times people who are researching write me from my web-site. I'm always happy to hear from them. Today I got an e-mail from a 17 year old girl who will have surgery in October. She asked a lot of good questions about the surgery, about plastics down the road and so on and nothing at all about after-care -- supplements, a new way of eating, I mean, nothing beyond or like...what is life going to be like on a daily basis. I feel un-nerved answering her -- first, I don't know if I need parental permission to e-mail her although I'm sure she must have her parents support and at the same time -- while I'm not object to young people having this surgery I'm not to sure how to talk to her. I want to tell her that her whole life will change and for her to know that I don't mean what size she will be... that she must spend time learning and researching what to do for her health post this surgery and that this is a life long commitment to making different choices, vitamins, calcium needs the same as an older woman, her protein, her dates, her labs -- what is it going to be like for her in high school? Classmates tend to be so bad about teasing and testing -- Ok, I just feel really weird writing to her and not knowing at all what to say... any ideas? Any other young people out there with advise? I'm not her mother and I don't want to come off sounding like her mother -- surely their is an OSSG group for young people isn't there? Can some one direct me to that so I can suggest she get some peer support? hugz, ~denise on shaky ground Homepage: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG Unsubscribe: mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 4, 2002 Report Share Posted September 4, 2002 Hey , If it were my daughter who was about to do something this radical (and I hadn't already had the surgery), I'd want someone who's " been there " to give her an honest account of what life will be like. Personally, I'd answer the questions that she asked, and also find a way to answer the ones that she didn't. ------------------------------------------------ Terry Mayers 5DollarHosting.comT http://www.5dollarhosting.com http://www.5dollarhosting.com/> (877)-838-HOST / .... because it shouldn't cost a fortune to make a fortune! R advise: dilemma Dear Group, I find myself without words (oh yeah, that's a first ;-)) Some times people who are researching write me from my web-site. I'm always happy to hear from them. Today I got an e-mail from a 17 year old girl who will have surgery in October. She asked a lot of good questions about the surgery, about plastics down the road and so on and nothing at all about after-care -- supplements, a new way of eating, I mean, nothing beyond or like...what is life going to be like on a daily basis. I feel un-nerved answering her -- first, I don't know if I need parental permission to e-mail her although I'm sure she must have her parents support and at the same time -- while I'm not object to young people having this surgery I'm not to sure how to talk to her. I want to tell her that her whole life will change and for her to know that I don't mean what size she will be... that she must spend time learning and researching what to do for her health post this surgery and that this is a life long commitment to making different choices, vitamins, calcium needs the same as an older woman, her protein, her dates, her labs -- what is it going to be like for her in high school? Classmates tend to be so bad about teasing and testing -- Ok, I just feel really weird writing to her and not knowing at all what to say... any ideas? Any other young people out there with advise? I'm not her mother and I don't want to come off sounding like her mother -- surely their is an OSSG group for young people isn't there? Can some one direct me to that so I can suggest she get some peer support? hugz, ~denise on shaky ground Homepage: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG Unsubscribe: mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 4, 2002 Report Share Posted September 4, 2002 Hey , If it were my daughter who was about to do something this radical (and I hadn't already had the surgery), I'd want someone who's " been there " to give her an honest account of what life will be like. Personally, I'd answer the questions that she asked, and also find a way to answer the ones that she didn't. ------------------------------------------------ Terry Mayers 5DollarHosting.comT http://www.5dollarhosting.com http://www.5dollarhosting.com/> (877)-838-HOST / .... because it shouldn't cost a fortune to make a fortune! R advise: dilemma Dear Group, I find myself without words (oh yeah, that's a first ;-)) Some times people who are researching write me from my web-site. I'm always happy to hear from them. Today I got an e-mail from a 17 year old girl who will have surgery in October. She asked a lot of good questions about the surgery, about plastics down the road and so on and nothing at all about after-care -- supplements, a new way of eating, I mean, nothing beyond or like...what is life going to be like on a daily basis. I feel un-nerved answering her -- first, I don't know if I need parental permission to e-mail her although I'm sure she must have her parents support and at the same time -- while I'm not object to young people having this surgery I'm not to sure how to talk to her. I want to tell her that her whole life will change and for her to know that I don't mean what size she will be... that she must spend time learning and researching what to do for her health post this surgery and that this is a life long commitment to making different choices, vitamins, calcium needs the same as an older woman, her protein, her dates, her labs -- what is it going to be like for her in high school? Classmates tend to be so bad about teasing and testing -- Ok, I just feel really weird writing to her and not knowing at all what to say... any ideas? Any other young people out there with advise? I'm not her mother and I don't want to come off sounding like her mother -- surely their is an OSSG group for young people isn't there? Can some one direct me to that so I can suggest she get some peer support? hugz, ~denise on shaky ground Homepage: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG Unsubscribe: mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 4, 2002 Report Share Posted September 4, 2002 I do the same.. and I usually advise people to read the first few days of my " after " journal entries. It's very nitty-gritty, and usually gives a pretty clear picture of what the experience can be like. I sometimes wish I'd known about WLS when I was 17 or 18... if only to motivate me to try harder at conventional means of weight loss before it spiraled into MO. Re: advise: dilemma , I have some young people send me similar emails, most have been more specific and about those items that we know are most important. For those that ask, even adults, I often repsond with asking them to be more specific as to what they really want to know. If you feel, from the basis of the eMail that she is only doing it to be thin and beautiful, then you would be safe in advising her to turn to her parents and physician for the important answers regarding the after affects of the surgery. ///Bob RNY - 7/13/79 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 4, 2002 Report Share Posted September 4, 2002 I do the same.. and I usually advise people to read the first few days of my " after " journal entries. It's very nitty-gritty, and usually gives a pretty clear picture of what the experience can be like. I sometimes wish I'd known about WLS when I was 17 or 18... if only to motivate me to try harder at conventional means of weight loss before it spiraled into MO. Re: advise: dilemma , I have some young people send me similar emails, most have been more specific and about those items that we know are most important. For those that ask, even adults, I often repsond with asking them to be more specific as to what they really want to know. If you feel, from the basis of the eMail that she is only doing it to be thin and beautiful, then you would be safe in advising her to turn to her parents and physician for the important answers regarding the after affects of the surgery. ///Bob RNY - 7/13/79 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 4, 2002 Report Share Posted September 4, 2002 I do the same.. and I usually advise people to read the first few days of my " after " journal entries. It's very nitty-gritty, and usually gives a pretty clear picture of what the experience can be like. I sometimes wish I'd known about WLS when I was 17 or 18... if only to motivate me to try harder at conventional means of weight loss before it spiraled into MO. Re: advise: dilemma , I have some young people send me similar emails, most have been more specific and about those items that we know are most important. For those that ask, even adults, I often repsond with asking them to be more specific as to what they really want to know. If you feel, from the basis of the eMail that she is only doing it to be thin and beautiful, then you would be safe in advising her to turn to her parents and physician for the important answers regarding the after affects of the surgery. ///Bob RNY - 7/13/79 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 5, 2002 Report Share Posted September 5, 2002 Sounds like you know exactly what to say to her. Tell her all those things, and don't be afraid of sounding like her mom. Everybody contemplating this surgery needs to know all these things ahead of time. Unfortunately, they don't get it from most doctors. Her future health is at stake, and she did write to you. So, tell her the truth, the whole uncensored truth about this surgery and the upkeep of it afterwards. Then, maybe you might want to add the same info to your website so that anyone reading it in the future will get that information also. Just a suggestion. Keep what you want, and throw out the rest. Chrissie shihtzumom@... http://users.snip.net/~shihtzumom My WLS Journey: http://millennium.fortunecity.com/doddington/691/WLS/this_is_me.htm ----- Original Message ----- From: ~denise Dear Group, I find myself without words (oh yeah, that's a first ;-)) Some times people who are researching write me from my web-site. I'm always happy to hear from them. Today I got an e-mail from a 17 year old girl who will have surgery in October. She asked a lot of good questions about the surgery, about plastics down the road and so on and nothing at all about after-care -- supplements, a new way of eating, I mean, nothing beyond or like...what is life going to be like on a daily basis. I feel un-nerved answering her -- first, I don't know if I need parental permission to e-mail her although I'm sure she must have her parents support and at the same time -- while I'm not object to young people having this surgery I'm not to sure how to talk to her. I want to tell her that her whole life will change and for her to know that I don't mean what size she will be... that she must spend time learning and researching what to do for her health post this surgery and that this is a life long commitment to making different choices, vitamins, calcium needs the same as an older woman, her protein, her dates, her labs -- what is it going to be like for her in high school? Classmates tend to be so bad about teasing and testing -- Ok, I just feel really weird writing to her and not knowing at all what to say... any ideas? Any other young people out there with advise? I'm not her mother and I don't want to come off sounding like her mother -- surely their is an OSSG group for young people isn't there? Can some one direct me to that so I can suggest she get some peer support? hugz, ~denise on shaky ground Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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