We're all doomed!!

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Humans are Stupid?? > > > > > > > > > 1. Only in America.....can a pizza get to your house > > > faster than an > > > ambulance. > > > > > > 2. Only in America......are there handicap parking > > > places in front of a > > > skating rink. > > > > > > 3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick > > > walk all the way to the > > > back of the store to get their prescriptions while > > > healthy people can buy > > > cigarettes at the front. > > > > > > 4. Only in America......do people order double > > > cheeseburgers, large fries, > > > and a diet coke. > > > > > > 5. Only in America.do banks leave both doors open > > > and then chain the pens to > > > the counters. > > > > > > 6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth > > > thousands of dollars in the > > > driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. > > > > > > 7. Only in America......do we use answering machines > > > to screen calls and > > > then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from > > > someone we didn't want > > > to talk to in the first place. > > > > > > 8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in > > > packages of ten and buns in > > > packages of eight. (THIS ONE ALWAYS BUGGED ME!) > > > > > > 9. Only in America......do we use the word > > > 'politics' to describe the > > > process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and > > > 'tics' meaning > > > 'bloodsucking creatures'. > > > > > > 10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM > > > machines with Braille > > > lettering. > > > > > > EVER WONDER ~~~~ > > > > > > Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? > > > > > > Why women can't put on mascara with their > > > mouth closed? > > > > > > Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins > > > Lottery"? > > > > > > Why is "abbreviated" such a long word? > > > > > > Why is it that doctors call what they do > > > "practice"? > > > > > > Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click > > > on "Start"? > > > > > > Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and > > > dishwashing liquid is > > > made with real lemons? > > > > > > Why is the man who invests all your money > > > called a broker? > > > > > > Why is the time of day with the slowest > > > traffic called rush hour? > > > > > > Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? > > > > > > When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests > > > it? > > > > > > Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes? > > > > > > Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal > > > injections? > > > > > > You know that indestructible black box that is used > > > on airplanes? Why don't > > > they make the whole plane out of that stuff? > > > > > > Why don't sheep shrink when it rains? > > > > > > Why are they called apartments when they > > > are all stuck together? > > > > > > If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the > > > opposite of progress? > > > > > > If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport > > > the terminal? > > > > > > ~~~~~ > > > > > > In case you needed further proof that the > > > human race is doomed through stupidity, > > > here are some actual label instructions > > > on consumer goods. > > > > > > On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while > > > sleeping. ( and that's the only time I have to work > > > on my hair.) > > > > > > On a bag of Fritos: ..You could be a winner! No > > > purchase necessary. Details > > > inside. (the shoplifter special?) > > > > > > On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular > > > soap." (and that would > > > be how??...) > > > > > > On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: > > > Defrost." (but, it's > > > "just" a suggestion.) > > > > > > On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on > > > bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a > > > bit late, huh!) > > > > > > On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be > > > hot after heating." > > > (...and you thought????..) > > > > > > On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron > > > clothes on body." (but > > > wouldn't this save me more time?) > > > > > > On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a > > > car or operate machinery > > > after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to > > > reduce the rate of > > > construction accidents if we could just get those > > > 5-year-olds with > > > head-colds off those forklifts.) > > > > > > On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." > > > (and... I'm taking this > > > because???....) > > > > > > On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or > > > outdoor use only." (as > > > opposed to...what?) > > > > > > On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for > > > the other use." (now, > > > somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit > > > curious.) > > > > > > On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." > > > (talk about a news flash) > > > > > > On an American Airlines packet of nuts: > > > "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: > > > maybe, uh...fly Delta?) > > > > > > On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this > > > garment does not enable you > > > to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the > > > parents for this one.) > > > > > > On a Swedish chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chain > > > with your hands or > > > genitals." (..was there a lot of this happening > > > somewhere?) > > > > > > Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn > > > to spread the stupidity > > > and send this to someone you want to bring a smile > > > to (maybe even a > > > chuckle)...in other words send it to everyone. We > > > all need to smile every > > > once in a while.