RE: OA experiences

October 11, 2002

Hi:

Maybe I should come " clean " . I attend AA meetings, since having the surgery I

lost the comfort of my food and switched my addiction to alcohol. I became so

sick I had to do go to a detox hospital (I got the shakes in the morning, it

was bad) and now I do out patient (group therapy) and also go to about 4 AA

meetings a week. It was suggested to me to attend OA meetings also, but I

concentrating on the alcohol aspect for now. I HOPE that no one would judge

another, that's not what a 12 step program is about, but I haven't attended an

OA meeting yet. I have shared at the AA meeting about my surgery and it's not

an issue. And yes, I would have the surgery again even knowing that my other

" demon " would come knocking. I am making a new friend .... " me " . I will let

you all know when I start attending OA and what I feel about the outcome.

Janene

West Haven, CT

8/20/01

297/191

OA experiences

I hope OA has changed since I was a member. There was a big room of us at a

Cincinnati hospital, and the people who'd lost weight and kept it off

(living pretty much on boiled veggies), were up at the front of the room and

the fat people were behind them.

When it came time to stand if you'd been " clean " the past week, it was

pretty obvious that the people who were " abstinent " were better people than

the ones who had to remain seated. I saw many women who'd had a slip sobbing

because they couldn't stand and be recognized for abstinence.

On the one hand, there was a whole room of people I didn't feel were judging

me, and I felt accepted. Then when they stood up, it was judgmental as hell.

That, and the fact that none of my sponsors could lose weight and keep it

off, soured me on OA.

But maybe they've progressed. I hear they are very judgmental about people

who've had bypass surgery, but that may be isolated situations. The problem

with these kinds of anecdotal reports is that they're based on just one or

two groups of people.

Anyway, it'd be great to hear about an OA organization where WLS is accepted

alongside dieting/exercise as a good way to start changing lives.

/john

Need " Compassionate " advice

>

> BUT...the emotional eating and the

> lonliness have gotten to me. I've been in Minnesota for 3 years and

> I don't think I've ever been anywhere that I felt so alone. I

> basically lived in Los Angeles California for 28 years prior. I just

> can't make friends here. And the area I live in is the worst! If

> your not catholic or don't have a family and children you might as

> well not be here! So given that all of this is happening, and no, I

> cannot financially afford to move. I'm in therapy. And I don't

> think anything I've heard from therapy or others has worked.

> sunstar

>

> Homepage: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG

>

> Unsubscribe: mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe

>

October 11, 2002

congrats on dealing with the other demon. I've been really lucky in that

regard -- I'm still addicted to food, but nothing else -- so far. I'm proud

of you for stepping up.

/john

Need " Compassionate " advice

> >

> > BUT...the emotional eating and the

> > lonliness have gotten to me. I've been in Minnesota for 3 years and

> > I don't think I've ever been anywhere that I felt so alone. I

> > basically lived in Los Angeles California for 28 years prior. I just

> > can't make friends here. And the area I live in is the worst! If

> > your not catholic or don't have a family and children you might as

> > well not be here! So given that all of this is happening, and no, I

> > cannot financially afford to move. I'm in therapy. And I don't

> > think anything I've heard from therapy or others has worked.

> > sunstar

> >

> > Homepage: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG

> >

> > Unsubscribe: mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe

> >

October 11, 2002

In a message dated 10/11/02 1:27:55 AM Central Daylight Time,

jwbry@... writes:

<< I hope OA has changed since I was a member. >>

----------------------------------

I haven't been to an OA meeting since the mid-80's, so can't say if they've

changed. But I never thought they did me much good. I was inpatient for 6

weeks (literally incarcerated--one phone call a day, visitors only once a

week, etc) for my " eating disorder " -- compulsive overeating. The program

included anorexics and bulimics as well. I never felt we should all have been

mixed up together.

Anyway, OA meetings were a regular part of this program; had no choice but to

go to a meeting twice a week. And I did continue for a few months after I got

out of the hospital, but I never felt it was for me. While they didn't have

the kind of routine you describe, I always felt guilty about not working the

steps. I guess I'm just not a 12-step person. And it ain't hard to make me

feel guilty about ANYthing. Figured it was doing me more harm than good.

Regards,

Carol A

October 11, 2002