RE: Re: rebound/regain

[Guest guest]

Thank you for a beautiful and compassionate post ... I never thought of

the " body memory " aspect of this whole thing but am familiar with body

memories and I have a body memory of my year out " feeling " of those several

months of discovering the " what it takes to stay RIGHT HERE " and then

keeping it -- it lasted for months and months and I felt so sure that " this

is it! " I've gained a control system that keeps my body healthy and my size

the same -- some how that turned on me much later and now I spend every day

trying to get back to that place (ok, not necessarily that size) just the

place where I can feel I can stay... it doesn't have to be the " ideal " dream

as long as the health part stays the " ideal dream " -- I just want the size

to stay in one place... Right now I'm looking at a bounce around for the

last 3 months... nothing is " staying " no matter what I do -- it's up and

down and as my " body remembers it " this is how it all starts to crash around

me... I loose control (not over my eating, that's the same or less or more

or the same -- healthy) but my body begins to do weird stuff against my

will -- and that's the " body memory " I have from all the past times I've

lost weight... stayed there a while and then begin gaining again for no

apparent reason...

Goddess bless all those who don't go through this -- maybe your metabolisms

are in far better shape or for whatever reason you don't do this battle -- I

REALLY thought I wouldn't because everything felt right... it felt right for

so long... longer than ever before and my health was/is WOW.

Guess I have to say that is my biggest fear -- what if my health goes with

the regain? That is so frightening to even contemplate... maybe that is why

I feel like it is healthy to talk about it and healthy to see if others some

how learned how to control this and get it back... that magical " one place

for good " place.

I'll share if I find it -- I'm floundering and that is scary... your note is

very heart warming... thank you.

hugz,

~denise