Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

[Guest guest]

Hello Margie !

Welcome to the group ! Baby steps......that is all we can do !

My sister lifes in Phoenix !

I am glad you found us ! As you think of them, list your symptoms

and any diagnoses you have been given.....and any questions you

have, and we will be her for ya best we can !

There is tons of information in the files....feel free to read all you

can there and ask any questions you have !

Again, welcome to the group ! !

Dede

When the power of love

overcomes the love of power

the world will know peace.

~ Jimi Hendrix

Hi! New here and could really use some support

My name is Margie from Phoenix, AZ. I got my implants in 1999 and I've been in a slow decline with my health for the past few years. I feel poisoned. The worst part is that my fiance doesn't even know that I have them, I have gained weight since I got them and they are barely able to even be felt. I have a sad story about how and why I got them and a long list of health ailments as well, far too many for a 32 year old and so far no diagnosis. I'd like to get my implants taken out but don't have the money and have a HUGE fear of surgery. (My mother died a few years ago from surgery complications) But for now I'll start with hello and I'm so glad to meet all of you!

[Guest guest]

Did you have them put in in Phoenix? Just curious. I used Chasby Sacks in Phoenix 20 years ago and have hated him since. He lied, did a crap job and basically poisoned me.The main thing is to take your time to find a good surgeon to take them out, research, do your due diligence and start preparing your body, mind and soul for what you are doing. The healthier you get yourself before a surgery, the better....Barbara, Winston & Yogi"The greatness of a nation can be judged by the way its animals are treated" GandhiPeace & Kindness in 2011In loving memory of

TIRAWAFrom: wittahatchit <wittahatchit@...>Subject: Hi! New here and could really use some support Date: Wednesday, February 23, 2011, 12:46 PM

My name is Margie from Phoenix, AZ. I got my implants in 1999 and I've been in a slow decline with my health for the past few years. I feel poisoned. The worst part is that my fiance doesn't even know that I have them, I have gained weight since I got them and they are barely able to even be felt. I have a sad story about how and why I got them and a long list of health ailments as well, far too many for a 32 year old and so far no diagnosis. I'd like to get my implants taken out but don't have the money and have a HUGE fear of surgery. (My mother died a few years ago from surgery complications) But for now I'll start with hello and I'm so glad to meet all of you!

[Guest guest]

Hey Margie, I'm in Phoenix also and these implants ruined my life, health, and marriage. I resent my ignorant immoral husband and can't get over it. Then he refused to believe my implants were the cause of my health problems. He is worthless to me and I am stuck, so sick.

Anyway, I have been on an explant consult with Hiatt, Leighton, and am now waiting to see whether Kolb in Atlanta can get my insurance to pay for some of the explant.

What I have been through has made me hate men and this wicked society. I never would have done it if I wouldn't have been weak and my husband mentioned them but never took the time to look up possible consequences. I guess I was just as wicked focusing too much on looks.

I am completely isolated and in a fog all the time, hating life, so I understand needing support. I am also deathly afraid of dying from complications from surgery, ironically. I am so sorry about your mom. Ohhh, I am unable to lose weight and have gained and a lot of days I don't even try to look good. I'm an absolute mess. I don't even want to lose weight because men look then. Sorry for the men bashing.........

From: massageequines@...Date: Wed, 23 Feb 2011 20:00:22 -0800Subject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

Did you have them put in in Phoenix? Just curious. I used Chasby Sacks in Phoenix 20 years ago and have hated him since. He lied, did a crap job and basically poisoned me.The main thing is to take your time to find a good surgeon to take them out, research, do your due diligence and start preparing your body, mind and soul for what you are doing. The healthier you get yourself before a surgery, the better....

Barbara, Winston & Yogi"The greatness of a nation can be judged by the way its animals are treated" GandhiPeace & Kindness in 2011In loving memory of TIRAWA

From: wittahatchit <wittahatchit@...>Subject: Hi! New here and could really use some support Date: Wednesday, February 23, 2011, 12:46 PM

My name is Margie from Phoenix, AZ. I got my implants in 1999 and I've been in a slow decline with my health for the past few years. I feel poisoned. The worst part is that my fiance doesn't even know that I have them, I have gained weight since I got them and they are barely able to even be felt. I have a sad story about how and why I got them and a long list of health ailments as well, far too many for a 32 year old and so far no diagnosis. I'd like to get my implants taken out but don't have the money and have a HUGE fear of surgery. (My mother died a few years ago from surgery complications) But for now I'll start with hello and I'm so glad to meet all of you!

[Guest guest]

Hi Margie, My name is (NY) we have an AZ ,too, I'm new here as

well.You will quickly find that the women here, are supportive, understanding

and very willing to help and offer you the emotional support that we seem to

lack in our private lives.

I'm sorry you are sick, but you are definately not alone.

This has also caused me much heartache in my relationship w/ my signifigant

other. They don't seem to grasp the all consuming nature of what we are going

through. They get tired of hearing about our aliments and begin to shut down and

tune out.

Hang in there, we are on the right track...finally on the road to some

answers..Stay in touch, , NY

>

>

> From: wittahatchit <wittahatchit@...>

> Subject: Hi! New here and could really use some support

>

> Date: Wednesday, February 23, 2011, 12:46 PM

>

>

>

>

> My name is Margie from Phoenix, AZ. I got my implants in 1999 and I've been in

a slow decline with my health for the past few years. I feel poisoned. The worst

part is that my fiance doesn't even know that I have them, I have gained weight

since I got them and they are barely able to even be felt. I have a sad story

about how and why I got them and a long list of health ailments as well, far too

many for a 32 year old and so far no diagnosis. I'd like to get my implants

taken out but don't have the money and have a HUGE fear of surgery. (My mother

died a few years ago from surgery complications) But for now I'll start with

hello and I'm so glad to meet all of you!

>

[Guest guest]

~

Sometimes you just need to bash....and get it out. You are so right

about many men ! ok, most men....they just loose all control when they

cant fix things, then they move into the dumbass phase and choose to

ignore what is going on, then lash out ....it is just how it is....and it DOES

suck !

Men. . . ugh ! Women rule and are by far the stronger sex.........

I just had to add to your rant......reading yours reminded me of mine

back in the day. . .

When the power of love

overcomes the love of power

the world will know peace.

~ Jimi Hendrix

Hi! New here and could really use some support

Date: Wednesday, February 23, 2011, 12:46 PM

My name is Margie from Phoenix, AZ. I got my implants in 1999 and I've been in a slow decline with my health for the past few years. I feel poisoned. The worst part is that my fiance doesn't even know that I have them, I have gained weight since I got them and they are barely able to even be felt. I have a sad story about how and why I got them and a long list of health ailments as well, far too many for a 32 year old and so far no diagnosis. I'd like to get my implants taken out but don't have the money and have a HUGE fear of surgery. (My mother died a few years ago from surgery complications) But for now I'll start with hello and I'm so glad to meet all of you!

[Guest guest]

Dede,

You are so right ,obviously we are the stronger sex!!! Look what we can accomplish everyday..Go chick power!

I'm off to work, you brightened my day, in NY

From: Dede <DGRAHAMA@...> Sent: Wed, March 2, 2011 1:44:22 PMSubject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

~

Sometimes you just need to bash....and get it out. You are so right

about many men ! ok, most men....they just loose all control when they

cant fix things, then they move into the dumbass phase and choose to

ignore what is going on, then lash out ....it is just how it is....and it DOES

suck !

Men. . . ugh ! Women rule and are by far the stronger sex.........

I just had to add to your rant......reading yours reminded me of mine

back in the day. . .

When the power of love

overcomes the love of power the world will know peace.

~ Jimi Hendrix

Hi! New here and could really use some support Date: Wednesday, February 23, 2011, 12:46 PM

My name is Margie from Phoenix, AZ. I got my implants in 1999 and I've been in a slow decline with my health for the past few years. I feel poisoned. The worst part is that my fiance doesn't even know that I have them, I have gained weight since I got them and they are barely able to even be felt. I have a sad story about how and why I got them and a long list of health ailments as well, far too many for a 32 year old and so far no diagnosis. I'd like to get my implants taken out but don't have the money and have a HUGE fear of surgery. (My mother died a few years ago from surgery complications) But for now I'll start with hello and I'm so glad to meet all of you!

[Guest guest]

Have a great day at work ! I am glad I helped put a smile in

your day ! )

When the power of love

overcomes the love of power

the world will know peace.

~ Jimi Hendrix

Hi! New here and could really use some support

Date: Wednesday, February 23, 2011, 12:46 PM

My name is Margie from Phoenix, AZ. I got my implants in 1999 and I've been in a slow decline with my health for the past few years. I feel poisoned. The worst part is that my fiance doesn't even know that I have them, I have gained weight since I got them and they are barely able to even be felt. I have a sad story about how and why I got them and a long list of health ailments as well, far too many for a 32 year old and so far no diagnosis. I'd like to get my implants taken out but don't have the money and have a HUGE fear of surgery. (My mother died a few years ago from surgery complications) But for now I'll start with hello and I'm so glad to meet all of you!

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

Hang in there. My ex was really rude too. He was great if I was healthy but as soon as I got sick it was like "sucks to be you, see ya". I always thought that if you married somebody it was in sickness and health but . . . apparently that's not the case. Oh . . . forgot to mention . . . he loved the implants and was great in the beginning - loved all the looks his wife got etc. but as soon as I got sick . . . you know the rest. Anyway take care, you're not alone, glad you found us, we're here for you, hugs,

From: Lengyel <tracylengyel@...> Sent: Tue, March 1, 2011 11:06:20 PMSubject: RE: Hi! New here and could really use some support

Hey Margie, I'm in Phoenix also and these implants ruined my life, health, and marriage. I resent my ignorant immoral husband and can't get over it. Then he refused to believe my implants were the cause of my health problems. He is worthless to me and I am stuck, so sick. Anyway, I have been on an explant consult with Hiatt, Leighton, and am now waiting to see whether Kolb in Atlanta can get my insurance to pay for some of the explant. What I have been through has made me hate men and this wicked society. I never would have done it if I wouldn't have been weak and my husband mentioned them but never took the time to look up possible consequences. I guess I was just as wicked focusing too much on looks. I am completely isolated and in a fog all the time, hating life, so I understand needing support. I am also deathly

afraid of dying from complications from surgery, ironically. I am so sorry about your mom. Ohhh, I am unable to lose weight and have gained and a lot of days I don't even try to look good. I'm an absolute mess. I don't even want to lose weight because men look then. Sorry for the men bashing.........

From: massageequines@...Date: Wed, 23 Feb 2011 20:00:22 -0800Subject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

Did you have them put in in Phoenix? Just curious. I used Chasby Sacks in Phoenix 20 years ago and have hated him since. He lied, did a crap job and basically poisoned me.The main thing is to take your time to find a good surgeon to take them out, research, do your due diligence and start preparing your body, mind and soul for what you are doing. The healthier you get yourself before a surgery, the better....

Barbara, Winston & Yogi"The greatness of a nation can be judged by the way its animals are treated" GandhiPeace & Kindness in 2011In loving memory of TIRAWA

From: wittahatchit <wittahatchit@...>Subject: Hi! New here and could really use some support Date: Wednesday, February 23, 2011, 12:46 PM

My name is Margie from Phoenix, AZ. I got my implants in 1999 and I've been in a slow decline with my health for the past few years. I feel poisoned. The worst part is that my fiance doesn't even know that I have them, I have gained weight since I got them and they are barely able to even be felt. I have a sad story about how and why I got them and a long list of health ailments as well, far too many for a 32 year old and so far no diagnosis. I'd like to get my implants taken out but don't have the money and have a HUGE fear of surgery. (My mother died a few years ago from surgery complications) But for now I'll start with hello and I'm so glad to meet all of you!

[Guest guest]

,

I just feel so disappointed by his behavior, like why can't he just give me the same simple words of encouragement that are so easy for others? Why can't he just share in excitement at finally finding out what's wrong w/ me? Why can't he just tell me it's going to be alright? Sorry ,I just don't understand ,after 20 years of marriage and six kids, what went so wrong? I think this being sick, just takes normal married life ups-n-downs and makes them 100 times worseI'm having a bad week I guess, and it makes me angry because I am elated that I have discovered the cause of my troubles, this is cause for celebration and dancing! And I'm letting his piss poor attitude ruin it for me.

Okay so the beginning of this email was all negative....after venting..thank you very much...I'm feeling better already and will be positive today.

We can do it together..I never want to bring anyone else down.....happiness...it comes from within.

Bless this site, and it's people...it came to me just in the nick of time.

Thank you for listening, in NY

From: Inbody <inbo5599@...> Sent: Wed, March 2, 2011 8:45:26 PMSubject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

Hi ,

Hang in there. My ex was really rude too. He was great if I was healthy but as soon as I got sick it was like "sucks to be you, see ya". I always thought that if you married somebody it was in sickness and health but . . . apparently that's not the case. Oh . . . forgot to mention . . . he loved the implants and was great in the beginning - loved all the looks his wife got etc. but as soon as I got sick . . . you know the rest. Anyway take care, you're not alone, glad you found us, we're here for you, hugs,

From: Lengyel <tracylengyel@...> Sent: Tue, March 1, 2011 11:06:20 PMSubject: RE: Hi! New here and could really use some support

Hey Margie, I'm in Phoenix also and these implants ruined my life, health, and marriage. I resent my ignorant immoral husband and can't get over it. Then he refused to believe my implants were the cause of my health problems. He is worthless to me and I am stuck, so sick. Anyway, I have been on an explant consult with Hiatt, Leighton, and am now waiting to see whether Kolb in Atlanta can get my insurance to pay for some of the explant. What I have been through has made me hate men and this wicked society. I never would have done it if I wouldn't have been weak and my husband mentioned them but never took the time to look up possible consequences. I guess I was just as wicked focusing too much on looks. I am completely isolated and in a fog all the time, hating life, so I understand needing support. I am also deathly

afraid of dying from complications from surgery, ironically. I am so sorry about your mom. Ohhh, I am unable to lose weight and have gained and a lot of days I don't even try to look good. I'm an absolute mess. I don't even want to lose weight because men look then. Sorry for the men bashing.........

From: massageequines@...Date: Wed, 23 Feb 2011 20:00:22 -0800Subject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

Did you have them put in in Phoenix? Just curious. I used Chasby Sacks in Phoenix 20 years ago and have hated him since. He lied, did a crap job and basically poisoned me.The main thing is to take your time to find a good surgeon to take them out, research, do your due diligence and start preparing your body, mind and soul for what you are doing. The healthier you get yourself before a surgery, the better....

Barbara, Winston & Yogi"The greatness of a nation can be judged by the way its animals are treated" GandhiPeace & Kindness in 2011In loving memory of TIRAWA

From: wittahatchit <wittahatchit@...>Subject: Hi! New here and could really use some support Date: Wednesday, February 23, 2011, 12:46 PM

My name is Margie from Phoenix, AZ. I got my implants in 1999 and I've been in a slow decline with my health for the past few years. I feel poisoned. The worst part is that my fiance doesn't even know that I have them, I have gained weight since I got them and they are barely able to even be felt. I have a sad story about how and why I got them and a long list of health ailments as well, far too many for a 32 year old and so far no diagnosis. I'd like to get my implants taken out but don't have the money and have a HUGE fear of surgery. (My mother died a few years ago from surgery complications) But for now I'll start with hello and I'm so glad to meet all of you!

[Guest guest]

,

Don't count on men or anyone to understand your situation. Only the women who has gotten sick from the implant will know what we are talking about. You just have to do what it takes to get your health back and help yourself. When I got sick and I researched and determined that it was due to my implants, I discussed this with my boyfriend and he refused to believe me. He kept on saying that I should go to the doctors...I went to so many different doctors and none of them was able to help...and he still said there must be some doctor that could help. Even to this date he keeps saying that implants are safe, approved by FDS after so much research, etc. and that so many women are getting them without problems. He said his ex had it and never got sick from it. He said I must be going through menopause and finally he said it must be mental/psychological. We got into fight everytime we talked about

implants so I finally decided not to mention anything about implant to him.

You can vent your frustrations on us because we know exactly what you're going through and every one of us are angry at what has happened...

Thanks

Sunny

From: Condon <mamacondon6@...> Sent: Thu, March 3, 2011 5:16:35 AMSubject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

,

I just feel so disappointed by his behavior, like why can't he just give me the same simple words of encouragement that are so easy for others? Why can't he just share in excitement at finally finding out what's wrong w/ me? Why can't he just tell me it's going to be alright? Sorry ,I just don't understand ,after 20 years of marriage and six kids, what went so wrong? I think this being sick, just takes normal married life ups-n-downs and makes them 100 times worseI'm having a bad week I guess, and it makes me angry because I am elated that I have discovered the cause of my troubles, this is cause for celebration and dancing! And I'm letting his piss poor attitude ruin it for me.

Okay so the beginning of this email was all negative....after venting..thank you very much...I'm feeling better already and will be positive today.

We can do it together..I never want to bring anyone else down.....happiness...it comes from within.

Bless this site, and it's people...it came to me just in the nick of time.

Thank you for listening, in NY

From: Inbody <inbo5599@...> Sent: Wed, March 2, 2011 8:45:26 PMSubject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

Hi ,

Hang in there. My ex was really rude too. He was great if I was healthy but as soon as I got sick it was like "sucks to be you, see ya". I always thought that if you married somebody it was in sickness and health but . . . apparently that's not the case. Oh . . . forgot to mention . . . he loved the implants and was great in the beginning - loved all the looks his wife got etc. but as soon as I got sick . . . you know the rest. Anyway take care, you're not alone, glad you found us, we're here for you, hugs,

From: Lengyel <tracylengyel@...> Sent: Tue, March 1, 2011 11:06:20 PMSubject: RE: Hi! New here and could really use some support

Hey Margie, I'm in Phoenix also and these implants ruined my life, health, and marriage. I resent my ignorant immoral husband and can't get over it. Then he refused to believe my implants were the cause of my health problems. He is worthless to me and I am stuck, so sick. Anyway, I have been on an explant consult with Hiatt, Leighton, and am now waiting to see whether Kolb in Atlanta can get my insurance to pay for some of the explant. What I have been through has made me hate men and this wicked society. I never would have done it if I wouldn't have been weak and my husband mentioned them but never took the time to look up possible consequences. I guess I was just as wicked focusing too much on looks. I am completely isolated and in a fog all the time, hating life, so I understand needing support. I am also deathly

afraid of dying from complications from surgery, ironically. I am so sorry about your mom. Ohhh, I am unable to lose weight and have gained and a lot of days I don't even try to look good. I'm an absolute mess. I don't even want to lose weight because men look then. Sorry for the men bashing.........

From: massageequines@...Date: Wed, 23 Feb 2011 20:00:22 -0800Subject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

Did you have them put in in Phoenix? Just curious. I used Chasby Sacks in Phoenix 20 years ago and have hated him since. He lied, did a crap job and basically poisoned me.The main thing is to take your time to find a good surgeon to take them out, research, do your due diligence and start preparing your body, mind and soul for what you are doing. The healthier you get yourself before a surgery, the better....

Barbara, Winston & Yogi"The greatness of a nation can be judged by the way its animals are treated" GandhiPeace & Kindness in 2011In loving memory of TIRAWA

From: wittahatchit <wittahatchit@...>Subject: Hi! New here and could really use some support Date: Wednesday, February 23, 2011, 12:46 PM

My name is Margie from Phoenix, AZ. I got my implants in 1999 and I've been in a slow decline with my health for the past few years. I feel poisoned. The worst part is that my fiance doesn't even know that I have them, I have gained weight since I got them and they are barely able to even be felt. I have a sad story about how and why I got them and a long list of health ailments as well, far too many for a 32 year old and so far no diagnosis. I'd like to get my implants taken out but don't have the money and have a HUGE fear of surgery. (My mother died a few years ago from surgery complications) But for now I'll start with hello and I'm so glad to meet all of you!

[Guest guest]

Sunny, I am so glad to know that others have experienced the same things....it got so bad recently that my husband thought it would be a good idea if I went away to a hospital in Utah for mentally ill people..in a lock up type facility for at least 30 days...away from my kids ,my life, my work..he almost had me convinced ,along w/ a "helpful" third party, who both kept telling me that I needed to be put away.

This was my moment, I don't know where it came from, because I've been trying for years to figure out why I'm sick...but I had my ah ha moment and I just kept saying "there is a physical reason for my depression, anxiety, brain fog...etc." They were making the arrangements for me to go when out of no where, I got the idea that it could be my implants!

I prayed to God to help me and He listened, the answer came that day....I can't explain it....but I do believe it.

You guys are the best,I won't stop saying it....hopefully, someday I will be able to type a success story here and be helpful to someone else, who is in the same dark place I am now.

I know brighter days are ahead, thanks for carrying me to them...I will promise to repay that kindness. in NY

From: Sun Lee <sunloves@...> Sent: Thu, March 3, 2011 1:14:23 PMSubject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

,

Don't count on men or anyone to understand your situation. Only the women who has gotten sick from the implant will know what we are talking about. You just have to do what it takes to get your health back and help yourself. When I got sick and I researched and determined that it was due to my implants, I discussed this with my boyfriend and he refused to believe me. He kept on saying that I should go to the doctors...I went to so many different doctors and none of them was able to help...and he still said there must be some doctor that could help. Even to this date he keeps saying that implants are safe, approved by FDS after so much research, etc. and that so many women are getting them without problems. He said his ex had it and never got sick from it. He said I must be going through menopause and finally he said it must be mental/psychological. We got into fight everytime we talked about

implants so I finally decided not to mention anything about implant to him.

You can vent your frustrations on us because we know exactly what you're going through and every one of us are angry at what has happened...

Thanks

Sunny

From: Condon <mamacondon6@...> Sent: Thu, March 3, 2011 5:16:35 AMSubject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

,

I just feel so disappointed by his behavior, like why can't he just give me the same simple words of encouragement that are so easy for others? Why can't he just share in excitement at finally finding out what's wrong w/ me? Why can't he just tell me it's going to be alright? Sorry ,I just don't understand ,after 20 years of marriage and six kids, what went so wrong? I think this being sick, just takes normal married life ups-n-downs and makes them 100 times worseI'm having a bad week I guess, and it makes me angry because I am elated that I have discovered the cause of my troubles, this is cause for celebration and dancing! And I'm letting his piss poor attitude ruin it for me.

Okay so the beginning of this email was all negative....after venting..thank you very much...I'm feeling better already and will be positive today.

We can do it together..I never want to bring anyone else down.....happiness...it comes from within.

Bless this site, and it's people...it came to me just in the nick of time.

Thank you for listening, in NY

From: Inbody <inbo5599@...> Sent: Wed, March 2, 2011 8:45:26 PMSubject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

Hi ,

Hang in there. My ex was really rude too. He was great if I was healthy but as soon as I got sick it was like "sucks to be you, see ya". I always thought that if you married somebody it was in sickness and health but . . . apparently that's not the case. Oh . . . forgot to mention . . . he loved the implants and was great in the beginning - loved all the looks his wife got etc. but as soon as I got sick . . . you know the rest. Anyway take care, you're not alone, glad you found us, we're here for you, hugs,

From: Lengyel <tracylengyel@...> Sent: Tue, March 1, 2011 11:06:20 PMSubject: RE: Hi! New here and could really use some support

Hey Margie, I'm in Phoenix also and these implants ruined my life, health, and marriage. I resent my ignorant immoral husband and can't get over it. Then he refused to believe my implants were the cause of my health problems. He is worthless to me and I am stuck, so sick. Anyway, I have been on an explant consult with Hiatt, Leighton, and am now waiting to see whether Kolb in Atlanta can get my insurance to pay for some of the explant. What I have been through has made me hate men and this wicked society. I never would have done it if I wouldn't have been weak and my husband mentioned them but never took the time to look up possible consequences. I guess I was just as wicked focusing too much on looks. I am completely isolated and in a fog all the time, hating life, so I understand needing support. I am also deathly

afraid of dying from complications from surgery, ironically. I am so sorry about your mom. Ohhh, I am unable to lose weight and have gained and a lot of days I don't even try to look good. I'm an absolute mess. I don't even want to lose weight because men look then. Sorry for the men bashing.........

From: massageequines@...Date: Wed, 23 Feb 2011 20:00:22 -0800Subject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

Did you have them put in in Phoenix? Just curious. I used Chasby Sacks in Phoenix 20 years ago and have hated him since. He lied, did a crap job and basically poisoned me.The main thing is to take your time to find a good surgeon to take them out, research, do your due diligence and start preparing your body, mind and soul for what you are doing. The healthier you get yourself before a surgery, the better....

Barbara, Winston & Yogi"The greatness of a nation can be judged by the way its animals are treated" GandhiPeace & Kindness in 2011In loving memory of TIRAWA

From: wittahatchit <wittahatchit@...>Subject: Hi! New here and could really use some support Date: Wednesday, February 23, 2011, 12:46 PM

My name is Margie from Phoenix, AZ. I got my implants in 1999 and I've been in a slow decline with my health for the past few years. I feel poisoned. The worst part is that my fiance doesn't even know that I have them, I have gained weight since I got them and they are barely able to even be felt. I have a sad story about how and why I got them and a long list of health ailments as well, far too many for a 32 year old and so far no diagnosis. I'd like to get my implants taken out but don't have the money and have a HUGE fear of surgery. (My mother died a few years ago from surgery complications) But for now I'll start with hello and I'm so glad to meet all of you!

[Guest guest]

Hi from NY... and all

I am really struggling mentally along with everything else. So, I was wondering if you could elaborate on how you are experiencing this. For instance, in my situation, I am having a hard time just thinking clearly, with memory problems, scattered thoughts, confused, hard time concentrating, obsessions, a feeling of loss of control of my life, and a serious feeling of dread. Then the anxiety and fear that I am losing my mind forever comes over me. Sometimes I can't even complete a sentence, like I forget what my point was and don't know how to finish what I'm saying. I sound mentally retarded, then I get angry over it. Sometimes, I wish I could be locked up away from any responsibility of anything so I won't get confused so much. Why would your husband think the answer was putting you in a mental hospital??????? To try to get you stabilized? How sad, ,, and it is poison that is causing it all. And I am not retaining information, especially directions way worse than before the implants. When someone is talking to me I actually blank out for a while and then come to and wonder what they were saying. It's BAD. So, I need to rest from all the struggling mentally and try to just go to sleep and hope to wake up more alive feeling. Sometimes sleep helps. Kolb's office didn't get back yet as to if they got an answer from insurance for explant....and I just moved and found out my husband has been addicted to porn most of our marriage... and even went to asian massage parlors. I just want to die. Ahhh... no wonder he pushed for boobs and I was so weak. I don't feel I can take care of myself and told him that if it is just ok that I just use to be a dad and pay the bills because I'm desperate he can stay around. And that we can have like a business relationship but our marriage bond is broken and over but for my daughter.... we can wait till shes older to make it final because she has been through so much sadness and loss in her life already and she is 13. How sad and dysfunctional. He wants to stay and says he's getting help but I no longer have him for my emotional needs because I am protecting myself. And I thought I had a good guy the last 17 years.

from Az

From: mamacondon6@...Date: Thu, 3 Mar 2011 19:42:18 -0800Subject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

Sunny, I am so glad to know that others have experienced the same things....it got so bad recently that my husband thought it would be a good idea if I went away to a hospital in Utah for mentally ill people..in a lock up type facility for at least 30 days...away from my kids ,my life, my work..he almost had me convinced ,along w/ a "helpful" third party, who both kept telling me that I needed to be put away.

This was my moment, I don't know where it came from, because I've been trying for years to figure out why I'm sick...but I had my ah ha moment and I just kept saying "there is a physical reason for my depression, anxiety, brain fog...etc." They were making the arrangements for me to go when out of no where, I got the idea that it could be my implants!

I prayed to God to help me and He listened, the answer came that day....I can't explain it....but I do believe it.

You guys are the best,I won't stop saying it....hopefully, someday I will be able to type a success story here and be helpful to someone else, who is in the same dark place I am now.

I know brighter days are ahead, thanks for carrying me to them...I will promise to repay that kindness. in NY

From: Sun Lee <sunloves@...> Sent: Thu, March 3, 2011 1:14:23 PMSubject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

,

Don't count on men or anyone to understand your situation. Only the women who has gotten sick from the implant will know what we are talking about. You just have to do what it takes to get your health back and help yourself. When I got sick and I researched and determined that it was due to my implants, I discussed this with my boyfriend and he refused to believe me. He kept on saying that I should go to the doctors...I went to so many different doctors and none of them was able to help...and he still said there must be some doctor that could help. Even to this date he keeps saying that implants are safe, approved by FDS after so much research, etc. and that so many women are getting them without problems. He said his ex had it and never got sick from it. He said I must be going through menopause and finally he said it must be mental/psychological. We got into fight everytime we talked about implants so I finally decided not to mention anything about implant to him.

You can vent your frustrations on us because we know exactly what you're going through and every one of us are angry at what has happened...

Thanks

Sunny

From: Condon <mamacondon6@...> Sent: Thu, March 3, 2011 5:16:35 AMSubject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

,

I just feel so disappointed by his behavior, like why can't he just give me the same simple words of encouragement that are so easy for others? Why can't he just share in excitement at finally finding out what's wrong w/ me? Why can't he just tell me it's going to be alright? Sorry ,I just don't understand ,after 20 years of marriage and six kids, what went so wrong? I think this being sick, just takes normal married life ups-n-downs and makes them 100 times worseI'm having a bad week I guess, and it makes me angry because I am elated that I have discovered the cause of my troubles, this is cause for celebration and dancing! And I'm letting his piss poor attitude ruin it for me.

Okay so the beginning of this email was all negative....after venting..thank you very much...I'm feeling better already and will be positive today.

We can do it together..I never want to bring anyone else down.....happiness...it comes from within.

Bless this site, and it's people...it came to me just in the nick of time.

Thank you for listening, in NY

From: Inbody <inbo5599@...> Sent: Wed, March 2, 2011 8:45:26 PMSubject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

Hi ,

Hang in there. My ex was really rude too. He was great if I was healthy but as soon as I got sick it was like "sucks to be you, see ya". I always thought that if you married somebody it was in sickness and health but . . . apparently that's not the case. Oh . . . forgot to mention . . . he loved the implants and was great in the beginning - loved all the looks his wife got etc. but as soon as I got sick . . . you know the rest. Anyway take care, you're not alone, glad you found us, we're here for you, hugs,

From: Lengyel <tracylengyel@...> Sent: Tue, March 1, 2011 11:06:20 PMSubject: RE: Hi! New here and could really use some support

Hey Margie, I'm in Phoenix also and these implants ruined my life, health, and marriage. I resent my ignorant immoral husband and can't get over it. Then he refused to believe my implants were the cause of my health problems. He is worthless to me and I am stuck, so sick. Anyway, I have been on an explant consult with Hiatt, Leighton, and am now waiting to see whether Kolb in Atlanta can get my insurance to pay for some of the explant. What I have been through has made me hate men and this wicked society. I never would have done it if I wouldn't have been weak and my husband mentioned them but never took the time to look up possible consequences. I guess I was just as wicked focusing too much on looks. I am completely isolated and in a fog all the time, hating life, so I understand needing support. I am also deathly afraid of dying from complications from surgery, ironically. I am so sorry about your mom. Ohhh, I am unable to lose weight and have gained and a lot of days I don't even try to look good. I'm an absolute mess. I don't even want to lose weight because men look then. Sorry for the men bashing.........

From: massageequines@...Date: Wed, 23 Feb 2011 20:00:22 -0800Subject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

Did you have them put in in Phoenix? Just curious. I used Chasby Sacks in Phoenix 20 years ago and have hated him since. He lied, did a crap job and basically poisoned me.The main thing is to take your time to find a good surgeon to take them out, research, do your due diligence and start preparing your body, mind and soul for what you are doing. The healthier you get yourself before a surgery, the better....

Barbara, Winston & Yogi"The greatness of a nation can be judged by the way its animals are treated" GandhiPeace & Kindness in 2011In loving memory of TIRAWA

From: wittahatchit <wittahatchit@...>Subject: Hi! New here and could really use some support Date: Wednesday, February 23, 2011, 12:46 PM

My name is Margie from Phoenix, AZ. I got my implants in 1999 and I've been in a slow decline with my health for the past few years. I feel poisoned. The worst part is that my fiance doesn't even know that I have them, I have gained weight since I got them and they are barely able to even be felt. I have a sad story about how and why I got them and a long list of health ailments as well, far too many for a 32 year old and so far no diagnosis. I'd like to get my implants taken out but don't have the money and have a HUGE fear of surgery. (My mother died a few years ago from surgery complications) But for now I'll start with hello and I'm so glad to meet all of you!

[Guest guest]

I really hope you divorce this guy

"Well, now

If little by little you stop loving me

I shall stop loving you

Little by little

If suddenly you forget me

Do not look for me

For I shall already have forgotten you

If you think it long and mad the wind of banners that passes

through my life

And you decide to leave me at the shore of the heart where I

have roots

Remember

That on that day, at that hour, I shall lift my arms

And my roots will set off to seek another land"

— Pablo Neruda (Pablo Neruda: Selected Poems)

"Let us forget with generosity those who cannot love

us"

— Pablo Neruda

From: Condon <mamacondon6@...> Sent: Thu, March 3, 2011 7:42:18 PMSubject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

Sunny, I am so glad to know that others have experienced the same things....it got so bad recently that my husband thought it would be a good idea if I went away to a hospital in Utah for mentally ill people..in a lock up type facility for at least 30 days...away from my kids ,my life, my work..he almost had me convinced ,along w/ a "helpful" third party, who both kept telling me that I needed to be put away.

This was my moment, I don't know where it came from, because I've been trying for years to figure out why I'm sick...but I had my ah ha moment and I just kept saying "there is a physical reason for my depression, anxiety, brain fog...etc." They were making the arrangements for me to go when out of no where, I got the idea that it could be my implants!

I prayed to God to help me and He listened, the answer came that day....I can't explain it....but I do believe it.

You guys are the best,I won't stop saying it....hopefully, someday I will be able to type a success story here and be helpful to someone else, who is in the same dark place I am now.

I know brighter days are ahead, thanks for carrying me to them...I will promise to repay that kindness. in NY

From: Sun Lee <sunloves@...> Sent: Thu, March 3, 2011 1:14:23 PMSubject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

,

Don't count on men or anyone to understand your situation. Only the women who has gotten sick from the implant will know what we are talking about. You just have to do what it takes to get your health back and help yourself. When I got sick and I researched and determined that it was due to my implants, I discussed this with my boyfriend and he refused to believe me. He kept on saying that I should go to the doctors...I went to so many different doctors and none of them was able to help...and he still said there must be some doctor that could help. Even to this date he keeps saying that implants are safe, approved by FDS after so much research, etc. and that so many women are getting them without problems. He said his ex had it and never got sick from it. He said I must be going through menopause and finally he said it must be mental/psychological. We got into fight everytime we talked about

implants so I finally decided not to mention anything about implant to him.

You can vent your frustrations on us because we know exactly what you're going through and every one of us are angry at what has happened...

Thanks

Sunny

From: Condon <mamacondon6@...> Sent: Thu, March 3, 2011 5:16:35 AMSubject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

,

I just feel so disappointed by his behavior, like why can't he just give me the same simple words of encouragement that are so easy for others? Why can't he just share in excitement at finally finding out what's wrong w/ me? Why can't he just tell me it's going to be alright? Sorry ,I just don't understand ,after 20 years of marriage and six kids, what went so wrong? I think this being sick, just takes normal married life ups-n-downs and makes them 100 times worseI'm having a bad week I guess, and it makes me angry because I am elated that I have discovered the cause of my troubles, this is cause for celebration and dancing! And I'm letting his piss poor attitude ruin it for me.

Okay so the beginning of this email was all negative....after venting..thank you very much...I'm feeling better already and will be positive today.

We can do it together..I never want to bring anyone else down.....happiness...it comes from within.

Bless this site, and it's people...it came to me just in the nick of time.

Thank you for listening, in NY

From: Inbody <inbo5599@...> Sent: Wed, March 2, 2011 8:45:26 PMSubject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

Hi ,

Hang in there. My ex was really rude too. He was great if I was healthy but as soon as I got sick it was like "sucks to be you, see ya". I always thought that if you married somebody it was in sickness and health but . . . apparently that's not the case. Oh . . . forgot to mention . . . he loved the implants and was great in the beginning - loved all the looks his wife got etc. but as soon as I got sick . . . you know the rest. Anyway take care, you're not alone, glad you found us, we're here for you, hugs,

From: Lengyel <tracylengyel@...> Sent: Tue, March 1, 2011 11:06:20 PMSubject: RE: Hi! New here and could really use some support

Hey Margie, I'm in Phoenix also and these implants ruined my life, health, and marriage. I resent my ignorant immoral husband and can't get over it. Then he refused to believe my implants were the cause of my health problems. He is worthless to me and I am stuck, so sick. Anyway, I have been on an explant consult with Hiatt, Leighton, and am now waiting to see whether Kolb in Atlanta can get my insurance to pay for some of the explant. What I have been through has made me hate men and this wicked society. I never would have done it if I wouldn't have been weak and my husband mentioned them but never took the time to look up possible consequences. I guess I was just as wicked focusing too much on looks. I am completely isolated and in a fog all the time, hating life, so I understand needing support. I am also deathly

afraid of dying from complications from surgery, ironically. I am so sorry about your mom. Ohhh, I am unable to lose weight and have gained and a lot of days I don't even try to look good. I'm an absolute mess. I don't even want to lose weight because men look then. Sorry for the men bashing.........

From: massageequines@...Date: Wed, 23 Feb 2011 20:00:22 -0800Subject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

Did you have them put in in Phoenix? Just curious. I used Chasby Sacks in Phoenix 20 years ago and have hated him since. He lied, did a crap job and basically poisoned me.The main thing is to take your time to find a good surgeon to take them out, research, do your due diligence and start preparing your body, mind and soul for what you are doing. The healthier you get yourself before a surgery, the better....

Barbara, Winston & Yogi"The greatness of a nation can be judged by the way its animals are treated" GandhiPeace & Kindness in 2011In loving memory of TIRAWA

From: wittahatchit <wittahatchit@...>Subject: Hi! New here and could really use some support Date: Wednesday, February 23, 2011, 12:46 PM

My name is Margie from Phoenix, AZ. I got my implants in 1999 and I've been in a slow decline with my health for the past few years. I feel poisoned. The worst part is that my fiance doesn't even know that I have them, I have gained weight since I got them and they are barely able to even be felt. I have a sad story about how and why I got them and a long list of health ailments as well, far too many for a 32 year old and so far no diagnosis. I'd like to get my implants taken out but don't have the money and have a HUGE fear of surgery. (My mother died a few years ago from surgery complications) But for now I'll start with hello and I'm so glad to meet all of you!

[Guest guest]

,

I'm so sorry you have to have all these bad things happening at once. It sounds like you could really use a break, I wish I could be there physically for you, I would be happy to help in any way I can! It's impossible to go through everyday sick, let alone deal w/ huge life "stuff" on top of it.

I'm sorry your husband is not supportive right now, and I know how much worrying about our children can drain us, even on good days.

In the brain department, I too, have scary moments. I had a time when I was driving on a two lane country highway and I completely forgot which side of the road I was supposed to be on..it was terrifying..I had my kids in the car and I have been driving for 20+ years! I had to pull over. I waited until another car went past me so I could figure it out.I felt so confused ,like I was loosing my mind. At work they tease me ,because I forget everything, I read something and I can't retain any of it.

I truly feel like I'm unbalanced in my brain sometimes, it scares me. And now I can't talk to my husband about that because he thinks I need serious meds! Or to get put away, "until I'm better".

But when I mention that I think explant surgery will make me better ,he discounts it. I want to scream at him, I feel so trapped, because I need him to help me, but I just want to find someone who will care for me and about me.

Remember there is a physical reason we feel this way.the poison in our chests!Right now it feels like we are in an impossible place..but there is hope..Dr. Kolb, I have not heard back either about insurance....we will get better, we will be our old selves again....we will look back on this time and know it made us stronger and smarter!

Maybe Dr. Kolb will give us a two for one deal if we get it done together!!!hahah

I wish I could help you in AZ, keep typing, everyone here knows what your going through, in every aspect.

Feel my prayers, hugs and support today...good days are ahead.

in NY

From: Lengyel <tracylengyel@...> Sent: Thu, March 3, 2011 11:59:25 PMSubject: RE: Hi! New here and could really use some support

Hi from NY... and all I am really struggling mentally along with everything else. So, I was wondering if you could elaborate on how you are experiencing this. For instance, in my situation, I am having a hard time just thinking clearly, with memory problems, scattered thoughts, confused, hard time concentrating, obsessions, a feeling of loss of control of my life, and a serious feeling of dread. Then the anxiety and fear that I am losing my mind forever comes over me. Sometimes I can't even complete a sentence, like I forget what my point was and don't know how to finish what I'm saying. I sound mentally retarded, then I get angry over it. Sometimes, I wish I could be locked up away from any responsibility of anything so I won't get confused so much. Why would

your husband think the answer was putting you in a mental hospital??????? To try to get you stabilized? How sad, ,, and it is poison that is causing it all. And I am not retaining information, especially directions way worse than before the implants. When someone is talking to me I actually blank out for a while and then come to and wonder what they were saying. It's BAD. So, I need to rest from all the struggling mentally and try to just go to sleep and hope to wake up more alive feeling. Sometimes sleep helps. Kolb's office didn't get back yet as to if they got an answer from insurance for explant....and I just moved and found out my husband has been addicted to porn most of our marriage... and even went to asian massage parlors. I just want to die. Ahhh... no wonder he pushed for boobs and I was so weak. I don't feel I can take care of myself and told him that if

it is just ok that I just use to be a dad and pay the bills because I'm desperate he can stay around. And that we can have like a business relationship but our marriage bond is broken and over but for my daughter.... we can wait till shes older to make it final because she has been through so much sadness and loss in her life already and she is 13. How sad and dysfunctional. He wants to stay and says he's getting help but I no longer have him for my emotional needs because I am protecting myself. And I thought I had a good guy the last 17 years. from Az

From: mamacondon6@...Date: Thu, 3 Mar 2011 19:42:18 -0800Subject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

Sunny, I am so glad to know that others have experienced the same things....it got so bad recently that my husband thought it would be a good idea if I went away to a hospital in Utah for mentally ill people..in a lock up type facility for at least 30 days...away from my kids ,my life, my work..he almost had me convinced ,along w/ a "helpful" third party, who both kept telling me that I needed to be put away.

This was my moment, I don't know where it came from, because I've been trying for years to figure out why I'm sick...but I had my ah ha moment and I just kept saying "there is a physical reason for my depression, anxiety, brain fog...etc." They were making the arrangements for me to go when out of no where, I got the idea that it could be my implants!

I prayed to God to help me and He listened, the answer came that day....I can't explain it....but I do believe it.

You guys are the best,I won't stop saying it....hopefully, someday I will be able to type a success story here and be helpful to someone else, who is in the same dark place I am now.

I know brighter days are ahead, thanks for carrying me to them...I will promise to repay that kindness. in NY

From: Sun Lee <sunloves@...> Sent: Thu, March 3, 2011 1:14:23 PMSubject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

,

Don't count on men or anyone to understand your situation. Only the women who has gotten sick from the implant will know what we are talking about. You just have to do what it takes to get your health back and help yourself. When I got sick and I researched and determined that it was due to my implants, I discussed this with my boyfriend and he refused to believe me. He kept on saying that I should go to the doctors...I went to so many different doctors and none of them was able to help...and he still said there must be some doctor that could help. Even to this date he keeps saying that implants are safe, approved by FDS after so much research, etc. and that so many women are getting them without problems. He said his ex had it and never got sick from it. He said I must be going through menopause and finally he said it must be mental/psychological. We got into fight everytime we talked about

implants so I finally decided not to mention anything about implant to him.

You can vent your frustrations on us because we know exactly what you're going through and every one of us are angry at what has happened...

Thanks

Sunny

From: Condon <mamacondon6@...> Sent: Thu, March 3, 2011 5:16:35 AMSubject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

,

I just feel so disappointed by his behavior, like why can't he just give me the same simple words of encouragement that are so easy for others? Why can't he just share in excitement at finally finding out what's wrong w/ me? Why can't he just tell me it's going to be alright? Sorry ,I just don't understand ,after 20 years of marriage and six kids, what went so wrong? I think this being sick, just takes normal married life ups-n-downs and makes them 100 times worseI'm having a bad week I guess, and it makes me angry because I am elated that I have discovered the cause of my troubles, this is cause for celebration and dancing! And I'm letting his piss poor attitude ruin it for me.

Okay so the beginning of this email was all negative....after venting..thank you very much...I'm feeling better already and will be positive today.

We can do it together..I never want to bring anyone else down.....happiness...it comes from within.

Bless this site, and it's people...it came to me just in the nick of time.

Thank you for listening, in NY

From: Inbody <inbo5599@...> Sent: Wed, March 2, 2011 8:45:26 PMSubject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

Hi ,

Hang in there. My ex was really rude too. He was great if I was healthy but as soon as I got sick it was like "sucks to be you, see ya". I always thought that if you married somebody it was in sickness and health but . . . apparently that's not the case. Oh . . . forgot to mention . . . he loved the implants and was great in the beginning - loved all the looks his wife got etc. but as soon as I got sick . . . you know the rest. Anyway take care, you're not alone, glad you found us, we're here for you, hugs,

From: Lengyel <tracylengyel@...> Sent: Tue, March 1, 2011 11:06:20 PMSubject: RE: Hi! New here and could really use some support

Hey Margie, I'm in Phoenix also and these implants ruined my life, health, and marriage. I resent my ignorant immoral husband and can't get over it. Then he refused to believe my implants were the cause of my health problems. He is worthless to me and I am stuck, so sick. Anyway, I have been on an explant consult with Hiatt, Leighton, and am now waiting to see whether Kolb in Atlanta can get my insurance to pay for some of the explant. What I have been through has made me hate men and this wicked society. I never would have done it if I wouldn't have been weak and my husband mentioned them but never took the time to look up possible consequences. I guess I was just as wicked focusing too much on looks. I am completely isolated and in a fog all the time, hating life, so I understand needing support. I am also deathly

afraid of dying from complications from surgery, ironically. I am so sorry about your mom. Ohhh, I am unable to lose weight and have gained and a lot of days I don't even try to look good. I'm an absolute mess. I don't even want to lose weight because men look then. Sorry for the men bashing.........

From: massageequines@...Date: Wed, 23 Feb 2011 20:00:22 -0800Subject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

Did you have them put in in Phoenix? Just curious. I used Chasby Sacks in Phoenix 20 years ago and have hated him since. He lied, did a crap job and basically poisoned me.The main thing is to take your time to find a good surgeon to take them out, research, do your due diligence and start preparing your body, mind and soul for what you are doing. The healthier you get yourself before a surgery, the better....

Barbara, Winston & Yogi"The greatness of a nation can be judged by the way its animals are treated" GandhiPeace & Kindness in 2011In loving memory of TIRAWA

From: wittahatchit <wittahatchit@...>Subject: Hi! New here and could really use some support Date: Wednesday, February 23, 2011, 12:46 PM

My name is Margie from Phoenix, AZ. I got my implants in 1999 and I've been in a slow decline with my health for the past few years. I feel poisoned. The worst part is that my fiance doesn't even know that I have them, I have gained weight since I got them and they are barely able to even be felt. I have a sad story about how and why I got them and a long list of health ailments as well, far too many for a 32 year old and so far no diagnosis. I'd like to get my implants taken out but don't have the money and have a HUGE fear of surgery. (My mother died a few years ago from surgery complications) But for now I'll start with hello and I'm so glad to meet all of you!

[Guest guest]

from NY and all...

Thanks for sharing the details about the kinds of things that are happening to you mentally. It is very lonely feeling like your losing it, and shameful to tell other people what we are going through because of a vane decision. I also have to stop and think through the confusion,,, what am I doing right now? Sometimes when my daughter is speaking to me and I am not even doing anything, I can't focus on what she is saying.

My husband took a very long time to come around to believe the implants made me sick, but got onboard about 3 months ago, finally. I am finally realizing he has severe mental problems. I've been doing much online searching and he has an avoidance personality. Like, when he went to those 2 women for a "massage", his dad was dying and his mom was abusing him and didn't believe HE WAS SICK!!!! We didn't know he had a rare form of blood cancer and couldn't walk and they were living with us at the time and my husbands mom was telling her husband, my husbands father, he wasn't trying because he has a negative attitude. It was clear he was sick but she has this denial avoidance problem too!!!! Then she uses sugar to make her feel good. Sooo, I wallow in my sorrow but I don't use anything and I don't avoid or deny. So a lot of our men may be struggling mentally too. He is acting perfect right now and I'm glad for a little more peace in the surroundings, but I will work on trying to disconnect knowing he can leave me at any moment having these urges and he had a sex addiction he claims he cured when he realized how bad it got with going where he went. I don't wanna offend the others here if they don't wanna hear about spiritual life, but that is what got him under control. I believe this because the "charges stopped" on the credit card at the same point he started talking about going to church about 3 years ago. Then he started pushing to pray before dinner, buying crosses, joined a mens spiritual group and all the signs are there he tried. But the hurt and lack of trust that his troubled mind can go where it did is sickening. Is anyone else going through these things? I am guessing since we made the decision we did to get implants, some of us may have struggled with wanting to increase pleasure... try to fulfill more sexual desires.. try to please ourselves and husbands with our looks... I know I was very much like that. I realize I started this mentality when I was a teenager. I want to be a different person than that. I just want a clear clean conscience.

I hope everyone is doing ok today, I wish we could get together also. Hey,,, do the people in Arizona wanna meet for coffee sometime? I have all day and I can drive anywhere...

from Az

From: mamacondon6@...Date: Fri, 4 Mar 2011 05:06:34 -0800Subject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

,

I'm so sorry you have to have all these bad things happening at once. It sounds like you could really use a break, I wish I could be there physically for you, I would be happy to help in any way I can! It's impossible to go through everyday sick, let alone deal w/ huge life "stuff" on top of it.

I'm sorry your husband is not supportive right now, and I know how much worrying about our children can drain us, even on good days.

In the brain department, I too, have scary moments. I had a time when I was driving on a two lane country highway and I completely forgot which side of the road I was supposed to be on..it was terrifying..I had my kids in the car and I have been driving for 20+ years! I had to pull over. I waited until another car went past me so I could figure it out.I felt so confused ,like I was loosing my mind. At work they tease me ,because I forget everything, I read something and I can't retain any of it.

I truly feel like I'm unbalanced in my brain sometimes, it scares me. And now I can't talk to my husband about that because he thinks I need serious meds! Or to get put away, "until I'm better".

But when I mention that I think explant surgery will make me better ,he discounts it. I want to scream at him, I feel so trapped, because I need him to help me, but I just want to find someone who will care for me and about me.

Remember there is a physical reason we feel this way.the poison in our chests!Right now it feels like we are in an impossible place..but there is hope..Dr. Kolb, I have not heard back either about insurance....we will get better, we will be our old selves again....we will look back on this time and know it made us stronger and smarter!

Maybe Dr. Kolb will give us a two for one deal if we get it done together!!!hahah

I wish I could help you in AZ, keep typing, everyone here knows what your going through, in every aspect.

Feel my prayers, hugs and support today...good days are ahead.

in NY

From: Lengyel <tracylengyel@...> Sent: Thu, March 3, 2011 11:59:25 PMSubject: RE: Hi! New here and could really use some support

Hi from NY... and all I am really struggling mentally along with everything else. So, I was wondering if you could elaborate on how you are experiencing this. For instance, in my situation, I am having a hard time just thinking clearly, with memory problems, scattered thoughts, confused, hard time concentrating, obsessions, a feeling of loss of control of my life, and a serious feeling of dread. Then the anxiety and fear that I am losing my mind forever comes over me. Sometimes I can't even complete a sentence, like I forget what my point was and don't know how to finish what I'm saying. I sound mentally retarded, then I get angry over it. Sometimes, I wish I could be locked up away from any responsibility of anything so I won't get confused so much. Why would your husband think the answer was putting you in a mental hospital??????? To try to get you stabilized? How sad, ,, and it is poison that is causing it all. And I am not retaining information, especially directions way worse than before the implants. When someone is talking to me I actually blank out for a while and then come to and wonder what they were saying. It's BAD. So, I need to rest from all the struggling mentally and try to just go to sleep and hope to wake up more alive feeling. Sometimes sleep helps. Kolb's office didn't get back yet as to if they got an answer from insurance for explant....and I just moved and found out my husband has been addicted to porn most of our marriage... and even went to asian massage parlors. I just want to die. Ahhh... no wonder he pushed for boobs and I was so weak. I don't feel I can take care of myself and told him that if it is just ok that I just use to be a dad and pay the bills because I'm desperate he can stay around. And that we can have like a business relationship but our marriage bond is broken and over but for my daughter.... we can wait till shes older to make it final because she has been through so much sadness and loss in her life already and she is 13. How sad and dysfunctional. He wants to stay and says he's getting help but I no longer have him for my emotional needs because I am protecting myself. And I thought I had a good guy the last 17 years. from Az

From: mamacondon6@...Date: Thu, 3 Mar 2011 19:42:18 -0800Subject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

Sunny, I am so glad to know that others have experienced the same things....it got so bad recently that my husband thought it would be a good idea if I went away to a hospital in Utah for mentally ill people..in a lock up type facility for at least 30 days...away from my kids ,my life, my work..he almost had me convinced ,along w/ a "helpful" third party, who both kept telling me that I needed to be put away.

This was my moment, I don't know where it came from, because I've been trying for years to figure out why I'm sick...but I had my ah ha moment and I just kept saying "there is a physical reason for my depression, anxiety, brain fog...etc." They were making the arrangements for me to go when out of no where, I got the idea that it could be my implants!

I prayed to God to help me and He listened, the answer came that day....I can't explain it....but I do believe it.

You guys are the best,I won't stop saying it....hopefully, someday I will be able to type a success story here and be helpful to someone else, who is in the same dark place I am now.

I know brighter days are ahead, thanks for carrying me to them...I will promise to repay that kindness. in NY

From: Sun Lee <sunloves@...> Sent: Thu, March 3, 2011 1:14:23 PMSubject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

,

Don't count on men or anyone to understand your situation. Only the women who has gotten sick from the implant will know what we are talking about. You just have to do what it takes to get your health back and help yourself. When I got sick and I researched and determined that it was due to my implants, I discussed this with my boyfriend and he refused to believe me. He kept on saying that I should go to the doctors...I went to so many different doctors and none of them was able to help...and he still said there must be some doctor that could help. Even to this date he keeps saying that implants are safe, approved by FDS after so much research, etc. and that so many women are getting them without problems. He said his ex had it and never got sick from it. He said I must be going through menopause and finally he said it must be mental/psychological. We got into fight everytime we talked about implants so I finally decided not to mention anything about implant to him.

You can vent your frustrations on us because we know exactly what you're going through and every one of us are angry at what has happened...

Thanks

Sunny

From: Condon <mamacondon6@...> Sent: Thu, March 3, 2011 5:16:35 AMSubject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

,

I just feel so disappointed by his behavior, like why can't he just give me the same simple words of encouragement that are so easy for others? Why can't he just share in excitement at finally finding out what's wrong w/ me? Why can't he just tell me it's going to be alright? Sorry ,I just don't understand ,after 20 years of marriage and six kids, what went so wrong? I think this being sick, just takes normal married life ups-n-downs and makes them 100 times worseI'm having a bad week I guess, and it makes me angry because I am elated that I have discovered the cause of my troubles, this is cause for celebration and dancing! And I'm letting his piss poor attitude ruin it for me.

Okay so the beginning of this email was all negative....after venting..thank you very much...I'm feeling better already and will be positive today.

We can do it together..I never want to bring anyone else down.....happiness...it comes from within.

Bless this site, and it's people...it came to me just in the nick of time.

Thank you for listening, in NY

From: Inbody <inbo5599@...> Sent: Wed, March 2, 2011 8:45:26 PMSubject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

Hi ,

Hang in there. My ex was really rude too. He was great if I was healthy but as soon as I got sick it was like "sucks to be you, see ya". I always thought that if you married somebody it was in sickness and health but . . . apparently that's not the case. Oh . . . forgot to mention . . . he loved the implants and was great in the beginning - loved all the looks his wife got etc. but as soon as I got sick . . . you know the rest. Anyway take care, you're not alone, glad you found us, we're here for you, hugs,

From: Lengyel <tracylengyel@...> Sent: Tue, March 1, 2011 11:06:20 PMSubject: RE: Hi! New here and could really use some support

Hey Margie, I'm in Phoenix also and these implants ruined my life, health, and marriage. I resent my ignorant immoral husband and can't get over it. Then he refused to believe my implants were the cause of my health problems. He is worthless to me and I am stuck, so sick. Anyway, I have been on an explant consult with Hiatt, Leighton, and am now waiting to see whether Kolb in Atlanta can get my insurance to pay for some of the explant. What I have been through has made me hate men and this wicked society. I never would have done it if I wouldn't have been weak and my husband mentioned them but never took the time to look up possible consequences. I guess I was just as wicked focusing too much on looks. I am completely isolated and in a fog all the time, hating life, so I understand needing support. I am also deathly afraid of dying from complications from surgery, ironically. I am so sorry about your mom. Ohhh, I am unable to lose weight and have gained and a lot of days I don't even try to look good. I'm an absolute mess. I don't even want to lose weight because men look then. Sorry for the men bashing.........

From: massageequines@...Date: Wed, 23 Feb 2011 20:00:22 -0800Subject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

Did you have them put in in Phoenix? Just curious. I used Chasby Sacks in Phoenix 20 years ago and have hated him since. He lied, did a crap job and basically poisoned me.The main thing is to take your time to find a good surgeon to take them out, research, do your due diligence and start preparing your body, mind and soul for what you are doing. The healthier you get yourself before a surgery, the better....

Barbara, Winston & Yogi"The greatness of a nation can be judged by the way its animals are treated" GandhiPeace & Kindness in 2011In loving memory of TIRAWA

From: wittahatchit <wittahatchit@...>Subject: Hi! New here and could really use some support Date: Wednesday, February 23, 2011, 12:46 PM

My name is Margie from Phoenix, AZ. I got my implants in 1999 and I've been in a slow decline with my health for the past few years. I feel poisoned. The worst part is that my fiance doesn't even know that I have them, I have gained weight since I got them and they are barely able to even be felt. I have a sad story about how and why I got them and a long list of health ailments as well, far too many for a 32 year old and so far no diagnosis. I'd like to get my implants taken out but don't have the money and have a HUGE fear of surgery. (My mother died a few years ago from surgery complications) But for now I'll start with hello and I'm so glad to meet all of you!

[Guest guest]

wow. is anyone getting my messages?i really relate to this. i have had a boyfreind who stopped sleeping with me and so i was considering IMPLANTS.my breasts are actually fine, but because irecently lost 25 pounds they are less full and kinda fallen SLIGHTLY.what i realized from rading your nte is this-my BF is ALSO A SEX ADDICT. and it is HIS bad behaviour that made me consider implants. thanks to reading all this I am not going to do it. My BREASTS have nothing to do with HIS PROBLEM. If I got implants it would be great for three weeks and then right back AND I WOULD BE KILLING MYSELFFrom: Lengyel <tracylengyel@...> Sent: Fri, March 4, 2011 7:28:56 AMSubject: RE: Hi! New here and could really use some support

from NY and all...

Thanks for sharing the details about the kinds of things that are happening to you mentally. It is very lonely feeling like your losing it, and shameful to tell other people what we are going through because of a vane decision. I also have to stop and think through the confusion,,, what am I doing right now? Sometimes when my daughter is speaking to me and I am not even doing anything, I can't focus on what she is saying.

My husband took a very long time to come around to believe the implants made me sick, but got onboard about 3 months ago, finally. I am finally realizing he has severe mental problems. I've been doing much online searching and he has an avoidance personality. Like, when he went to those 2 women for a "massage", his dad was dying and his mom was abusing him and didn't believe HE WAS SICK!!!! We didn't know he had a rare form of blood cancer and couldn't walk and they were living with us at the time and my husbands mom was telling her husband, my husbands father, he wasn't trying because he has a negative attitude. It was clear he was sick but she has this denial avoidance problem too!!!! Then she uses sugar to make her feel good. Sooo, I wallow in my sorrow but I don't use anything and I don't avoid or deny. So a lot of our men may be struggling mentally too. He

is acting perfect right now and I'm glad for a little more peace in the surroundings, but I will work on trying to disconnect knowing he can leave me at any moment having these urges and he had a sex addiction he claims he cured when he realized how bad it got with going where he went. I don't wanna offend the others here if they don't wanna hear about spiritual life, but that is what got him under control. I believe this because the "charges stopped" on the credit card at the same point he started talking about going to church about 3 years ago. Then he started pushing to pray before dinner, buying crosses, joined a mens spiritual group and all the signs are there he tried. But the hurt and lack of trust that his troubled mind can go where it did is sickening. Is anyone else going through these things? I am guessing since we made the decision we did to get implants, some of us may have struggled with wanting to

increase pleasure... try to fulfill more sexual desires.. try to please ourselves and husbands with our looks... I know I was very much like that. I realize I started this mentality when I was a teenager. I want to be a different person than that. I just want a clear clean conscience.

I hope everyone is doing ok today, I wish we could get together also. Hey,,, do the people in Arizona wanna meet for coffee sometime? I have all day and I can drive anywhere...

from Az

From: mamacondon6@...Date: Fri, 4 Mar 2011 05:06:34 -0800Subject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

,

I'm so sorry you have to have all these bad things happening at once. It sounds like you could really use a break, I wish I could be there physically for you, I would be happy to help in any way I can! It's impossible to go through everyday sick, let alone deal w/ huge life "stuff" on top of it.

I'm sorry your husband is not supportive right now, and I know how much worrying about our children can drain us, even on good days.

In the brain department, I too, have scary moments. I had a time when I was driving on a two lane country highway and I completely forgot which side of the road I was supposed to be on..it was terrifying..I had my kids in the car and I have been driving for 20+ years! I had to pull over. I waited until another car went past me so I could figure it out.I felt so confused ,like I was loosing my mind. At work they tease me ,because I forget everything, I read something and I can't retain any of it.

I truly feel like I'm unbalanced in my brain sometimes, it scares me. And now I can't talk to my husband about that because he thinks I need serious meds! Or to get put away, "until I'm better".

But when I mention that I think explant surgery will make me better ,he discounts it. I want to scream at him, I feel so trapped, because I need him to help me, but I just want to find someone who will care for me and about me.

Remember there is a physical reason we feel this way.the poison in our chests!Right now it feels like we are in an impossible place..but there is hope..Dr. Kolb, I have not heard back either about insurance....we will get better, we will be our old selves again....we will look back on this time and know it made us stronger and smarter!

Maybe Dr. Kolb will give us a two for one deal if we get it done together!!!hahah

I wish I could help you in AZ, keep typing, everyone here knows what your going through, in every aspect.

Feel my prayers, hugs and support today...good days are ahead.

in NY

From: Lengyel <tracylengyel@...> Sent: Thu, March 3, 2011 11:59:25 PMSubject: RE: Hi! New here and could really use some support

Hi from NY... and all I am really struggling mentally along with everything else. So, I was wondering if you could elaborate on how you are experiencing this. For instance, in my situation, I am having a hard time just thinking clearly, with memory problems, scattered thoughts, confused, hard time concentrating, obsessions, a feeling of loss of control of my life, and a serious feeling of dread. Then the anxiety and fear that I am losing my mind forever comes over me. Sometimes I can't even complete a sentence, like I forget what my point was and don't know how to finish what I'm saying. I sound mentally retarded, then I get angry over it. Sometimes, I wish I could be locked up away from any responsibility of anything so I won't get confused so

much. Why would your husband think the answer was putting you in a mental hospital??????? To try to get you stabilized? How sad, ,, and it is poison that is causing it all. And I am not retaining information, especially directions way worse than before the implants. When someone is talking to me I actually blank out for a while and then come to and wonder what they were saying. It's BAD. So, I need to rest from all the struggling mentally and try to just go to sleep and hope to wake up more alive feeling. Sometimes sleep helps. Kolb's office didn't get back yet as to if they got an answer from insurance for explant....and I just moved and found out my husband has been addicted to porn most of our marriage... and even went to asian massage parlors. I just want to die. Ahhh... no wonder he pushed for boobs and I was so weak. I don't feel I can take care of

myself and told him that if it is just ok that I just use to be a dad and pay the bills because I'm desperate he can stay around. And that we can have like a business relationship but our marriage bond is broken and over but for my daughter.... we can wait till shes older to make it final because she has been through so much sadness and loss in her life already and she is 13. How sad and dysfunctional. He wants to stay and says he's getting help but I no longer have him for my emotional needs because I am protecting myself. And I thought I had a good guy the last 17 years. from Az

From: mamacondon6@...Date: Thu, 3 Mar 2011 19:42:18 -0800Subject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

Sunny, I am so glad to know that others have experienced the same things....it got so bad recently that my husband thought it would be a good idea if I went away to a hospital in Utah for mentally ill people..in a lock up type facility for at least 30 days...away from my kids ,my life, my work..he almost had me convinced ,along w/ a "helpful" third party, who both kept telling me that I needed to be put away.

This was my moment, I don't know where it came from, because I've been trying for years to figure out why I'm sick...but I had my ah ha moment and I just kept saying "there is a physical reason for my depression, anxiety, brain fog...etc." They were making the arrangements for me to go when out of no where, I got the idea that it could be my implants!

I prayed to God to help me and He listened, the answer came that day....I can't explain it....but I do believe it.

You guys are the best,I won't stop saying it....hopefully, someday I will be able to type a success story here and be helpful to someone else, who is in the same dark place I am now.

I know brighter days are ahead, thanks for carrying me to them...I will promise to repay that kindness. in NY

From: Sun Lee <sunloves@...> Sent: Thu, March 3, 2011 1:14:23 PMSubject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

,

Don't count on men or anyone to understand your situation. Only the women who has gotten sick from the implant will know what we are talking about. You just have to do what it takes to get your health back and help yourself. When I got sick and I researched and determined that it was due to my implants, I discussed this with my boyfriend and he refused to believe me. He kept on saying that I should go to the doctors...I went to so many different doctors and none of them was able to help...and he still said there must be some doctor that could help. Even to this date he keeps saying that implants are safe, approved by FDS after so much research, etc. and that so many women are getting them without problems. He said his ex had it and never got sick from it. He said I must be going through menopause and finally he said it must be mental/psychological. We got into fight everytime we talked about

implants so I finally decided not to mention anything about implant to him.

You can vent your frustrations on us because we know exactly what you're going through and every one of us are angry at what has happened...

Thanks

Sunny

From: Condon <mamacondon6@...> Sent: Thu, March 3, 2011 5:16:35 AMSubject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

,

I just feel so disappointed by his behavior, like why can't he just give me the same simple words of encouragement that are so easy for others? Why can't he just share in excitement at finally finding out what's wrong w/ me? Why can't he just tell me it's going to be alright? Sorry ,I just don't understand ,after 20 years of marriage and six kids, what went so wrong? I think this being sick, just takes normal married life ups-n-downs and makes them 100 times worseI'm having a bad week I guess, and it makes me angry because I am elated that I have discovered the cause of my troubles, this is cause for celebration and dancing! And I'm letting his piss poor attitude ruin it for me.

Okay so the beginning of this email was all negative....after venting..thank you very much...I'm feeling better already and will be positive today.

We can do it together..I never want to bring anyone else down.....happiness...it comes from within.

Bless this site, and it's people...it came to me just in the nick of time.

Thank you for listening, in NY

From: Inbody <inbo5599@...> Sent: Wed, March 2, 2011 8:45:26 PMSubject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

Hi ,

Hang in there. My ex was really rude too. He was great if I was healthy but as soon as I got sick it was like "sucks to be you, see ya". I always thought that if you married somebody it was in sickness and health but . . . apparently that's not the case. Oh . . . forgot to mention . . . he loved the implants and was great in the beginning - loved all the looks his wife got etc. but as soon as I got sick . . . you know the rest. Anyway take care, you're not alone, glad you found us, we're here for you, hugs,

From: Lengyel <tracylengyel@...> Sent: Tue, March 1, 2011 11:06:20 PMSubject: RE: Hi! New here and could really use some support

Hey Margie, I'm in Phoenix also and these implants ruined my life, health, and marriage. I resent my ignorant immoral husband and can't get over it. Then he refused to believe my implants were the cause of my health problems. He is worthless to me and I am stuck, so sick. Anyway, I have been on an explant consult with Hiatt, Leighton, and am now waiting to see whether Kolb in Atlanta can get my insurance to pay for some of the explant. What I have been through has made me hate men and this wicked society. I never would have done it if I wouldn't have been weak and my husband mentioned them but never took the time to look up possible consequences. I guess I was just as wicked focusing too much on looks. I am completely isolated and in a fog all the time, hating life, so I understand needing support. I am also deathly

afraid of dying from complications from surgery, ironically. I am so sorry about your mom. Ohhh, I am unable to lose weight and have gained and a lot of days I don't even try to look good. I'm an absolute mess. I don't even want to lose weight because men look then. Sorry for the men bashing.........

From: massageequines@...Date: Wed, 23 Feb 2011 20:00:22 -0800Subject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

Did you have them put in in Phoenix? Just curious. I used Chasby Sacks in Phoenix 20 years ago and have hated him since. He lied, did a crap job and basically poisoned me.The main thing is to take your time to find a good surgeon to take them out, research, do your due diligence and start preparing your body, mind and soul for what you are doing. The healthier you get yourself before a surgery, the better....

Barbara, Winston & Yogi"The greatness of a nation can be judged by the way its animals are treated" GandhiPeace & Kindness in 2011In loving memory of TIRAWA

From: wittahatchit <wittahatchit@...>Subject: Hi! New here and could really use some support Date: Wednesday, February 23, 2011, 12:46 PM

My name is Margie from Phoenix, AZ. I got my implants in 1999 and I've been in a slow decline with my health for the past few years. I feel poisoned. The worst part is that my fiance doesn't even know that I have them, I have gained weight since I got them and they are barely able to even be felt. I have a sad story about how and why I got them and a long list of health ailments as well, far too many for a 32 year old and so far no diagnosis. I'd like to get my implants taken out but don't have the money and have a HUGE fear of surgery. (My mother died a few years ago from surgery complications) But for now I'll start with hello and I'm so glad to meet all of you!

[Guest guest]

To the s - It never ceases to amaze me what women have to endure.....and then on top of it, implant illness. These are trying times and probably some of the darkest days. Just touching on the absolute brain dead moments, these def get better and go away after explant. I heard from others, and now am experiencing it myself. I was a total zombie- couldn't even hear what people were saying to me either and was frustrated that I frankly didn't care much about AnyThing. The darkness consumes you, I know. I couldn't even bear to watch tv. And that feeling of underlying doom....that's usually linked to stressed adrenals. I'm still getting mine under control and i'm 5 months post explant...This ALL does get better as much as you feel like each day is painfully long (at least that's how i felt). I hope you get them out soon so you can be on your way to health. I can now read, think clearly and retain info again. There are moments of brain fog, but nothing like those total scary moments... And as for your husband wanting you to go to a mental place??? I am SO sorry. I had a meltdown when my husband made me go back to seeing medical dr's who couldn't do a thing for me...I can't imagine if he'd told me i needed to be sent away....that makes me sad for you. The best thing you can do, is focus on yourself, and your body, and just mentally know you can do this, regardless of what people think you have.. It makes me sick that we have to be doubted because of cover ups and greed, but we just need to stay focused and take care of our toxic bodies. As for the porn addiction- , I was with a guy for 2 yrs with that problem. That's actually when I got them put in *dumb*...maybe somewhere underlying thinking that would help the problem? not sure, but what i do know is, he turned to church, the Lord, everything....but with a true addict, sometimes it backfires and creates more lies and deceit. That was my horrid experience... I pray you have success and mending for you and for your daughter's sake. It can destroy a family, as i'm sure it has yours. much love to all of you today- sending healing~Bev ----- Hi! New here and could really use some support Date: Wednesday, February 23, 2011, 12:46 PM My name is Margie from Phoenix, AZ. I got my implants in 1999 and I've been in a slow decline with my health for the past few years. I feel poisoned. The worst part is that my fiance doesn't even know that I have them, I have gained weight since I got them and they are barely able to even be felt. I have a sad story about how and why I got them and a long list of health ailments as well, far too many for a 32 year old and so far no diagnosis. I'd like to get my implants taken out but don't have the money and have a HUGE fear of surgery. (My mother died a few years ago from surgery complications) But for now I'll start with hello and I'm so glad to meet all of you!

____________________________________________________________Gov't Urges Homeowners to RefinanceIf you owe under $729k you probably qualify for Gov't Refi ProgramsSeeRefinanceRates.com

[Guest guest]

Hang in there, . Plan your explant and look to a healthier future.

When you want a retreat center, you might look into Tree of Life.

They have a medically supervised week of detox for health.

http://www.treeoflife.nu/programs/detoxification-fasting/juice-fast-detox/

That's the location from the movie, Raw for 30 Days, Reversing Diabetes. (You

Tube)

Hugs of support,

M.

[Guest guest]

yes, sweetie- i'm so glad you can understand that! What a blessing! You are a very smart girl, and sometimes we fall in love with someone and Then their demons come out, and because we love them we try to over look them...but in the long run, we get hurt the most. I'm so happy you made that decision to not harm your body, and let me tell you, when you walk away from something that's bad for you, God always has something better in store for you.....whether it be a person, or a door being opened or even an animal (a month after I left my verbally abusive, sex addicted bf, my friend found 2 stray puppies at her school and i ended up with them. i was so sad and lonely but knew i had to leave him, and i got rewarded with 2 little angels) And I like your poem and quote. Beautiful. blessings to you ~ ----- Hi! New here and could really use some support Date: Wednesday, February 23, 2011, 12:46 PM My name is Margie from Phoenix, AZ. I got my implants in 1999 and I've been in a slow decline with my health for the past few years. I feel poisoned. The worst part is that my fiance doesn't even know that I have them, I have gained weight since I got them and they are barely able to even be felt. I have a sad story about how and why I got them and a long list of health ailments as well, far too many for a 32 year old and so far no diagnosis. I'd like to get my implants taken out but don't have the money and have a HUGE fear of surgery. (My mother died a few years ago from surgery complications) But for now I'll start with hello and I'm so glad to meet all of you!

____________________________________________________________$65/Hr Job - 25 OpeningsPart-Time job ($20-$65/hr). Requirements: Home Internet AccessChannel11NewsReport.com

[Guest guest]

Yep, around the time I got the implants my husband had given up on sleeping with me. So, I thought, well if he leaves me and it is because he doesn't like being with me, I will feel more confident for someone else! How sick. I am glad to see that our sharing our pain is helping someone from being in the same pain after implantation. NOW... on top of it all, I thought I had the money for explantation with my income tax refund but student loan took the whole 6k!! Yep, killing yourself is exactly it, your smart for learning from other peoples mistakes. Keep up the great work and be very very proud of yourself. My husband is starting a mens group for porn addicts soon, and has finally admitted to himself that he used porn to alleviate stress and like a drug. He said he'd push the issue back in his mind so he didn't have to really 'think' about how it was a problem. It is sad and scary to find out how screwed up your husband is. Life is so hard. And for those out there who think they do those things because we aren't good enough, sexy enough, pretty enough, etc.. for some nothing is enough when your an addict. We put some notification on the computer if someone opens up those sites now.

From: davidtehura@...Date: Fri, 4 Mar 2011 07:49:46 -0800Subject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

wow. is anyone getting my messages?i really relate to this. i have had a boyfreind who stopped sleeping with me and so i was considering IMPLANTS.my breasts are actually fine, but because irecently lost 25 pounds they are less full and kinda fallen SLIGHTLY.what i realized from rading your nte is this-my BF is ALSO A SEX ADDICT. and it is HIS bad behaviour that made me consider implants. thanks to reading all this I am not going to do it. My BREASTS have nothing to do with HIS PROBLEM. If I got implants it would be great for three weeks and then right back AND I WOULD BE KILLING MYSELF

From: Lengyel <tracylengyel@...> Sent: Fri, March 4, 2011 7:28:56 AMSubject: RE: Hi! New here and could really use some support from NY and all... Thanks for sharing the details about the kinds of things that are happening to you mentally. It is very lonely feeling like your losing it, and shameful to tell other people what we are going through because of a vane decision. I also have to stop and think through the confusion,,, what am I doing right now? Sometimes when my daughter is speaking to me and I am not even doing anything, I can't focus on what she is saying. My husband took a very long time to come around to believe the implants made me sick, but got onboard about 3 months ago, finally. I am finally realizing he has severe mental problems. I've been doing much online searching and he has an avoidance personality. Like, when he went to those 2 women for a "massage", his dad was dying and his mom was abusing him and didn't believe HE WAS SICK!!!! We didn't know he had a rare form of blood cancer and couldn't walk and they were living with us at the time and my husbands mom was telling her husband, my husbands father, he wasn't trying because he has a negative attitude. It was clear he was sick but she has this denial avoidance problem too!!!! Then she uses sugar to make her feel good. Sooo, I wallow in my sorrow but I don't use anything and I don't avoid or deny. So a lot of our men may be struggling mentally too. He is acting perfect right now and I'm glad for a little more peace in the surroundings, but I will work on trying to disconnect knowing he can leave me at any moment having these urges and he had a sex addiction he claims he cured when he realized how bad it got with going where he went. I don't wanna offend the others here if they don't wanna hear about spiritual life, but that is what got him under control. I believe this because the "charges stopped" on the credit card at the same point he started talking about going to church about 3 years ago. Then he started pushing to pray before dinner, buying crosses, joined a mens spiritual group and all the signs are there he tried. But the hurt and lack of trust that his troubled mind can go where it did is sickening. Is anyone else going through these things? I am guessing since we made the decision we did to get implants, some of us may have struggled with wanting to increase pleasure... try to fulfill more sexual desires.. try to please ourselves and husbands with our looks... I know I was very much like that. I realize I started this mentality when I was a teenager. I want to be a different person than that. I just want a clear clean conscience. I hope everyone is doing ok today, I wish we could get together also. Hey,,, do the people in Arizona wanna meet for coffee sometime? I have all day and I can drive anywhere... from Az

From: mamacondon6@...Date: Fri, 4 Mar 2011 05:06:34 -0800Subject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

,

I'm so sorry you have to have all these bad things happening at once. It sounds like you could really use a break, I wish I could be there physically for you, I would be happy to help in any way I can! It's impossible to go through everyday sick, let alone deal w/ huge life "stuff" on top of it.

I'm sorry your husband is not supportive right now, and I know how much worrying about our children can drain us, even on good days.

In the brain department, I too, have scary moments. I had a time when I was driving on a two lane country highway and I completely forgot which side of the road I was supposed to be on..it was terrifying..I had my kids in the car and I have been driving for 20+ years! I had to pull over. I waited until another car went past me so I could figure it out.I felt so confused ,like I was loosing my mind. At work they tease me ,because I forget everything, I read something and I can't retain any of it.

I truly feel like I'm unbalanced in my brain sometimes, it scares me. And now I can't talk to my husband about that because he thinks I need serious meds! Or to get put away, "until I'm better".

But when I mention that I think explant surgery will make me better ,he discounts it. I want to scream at him, I feel so trapped, because I need him to help me, but I just want to find someone who will care for me and about me.

Remember there is a physical reason we feel this way.the poison in our chests!Right now it feels like we are in an impossible place..but there is hope..Dr. Kolb, I have not heard back either about insurance....we will get better, we will be our old selves again....we will look back on this time and know it made us stronger and smarter!

Maybe Dr. Kolb will give us a two for one deal if we get it done together!!!hahah

I wish I could help you in AZ, keep typing, everyone here knows what your going through, in every aspect.

Feel my prayers, hugs and support today...good days are ahead.

in NY

From: Lengyel <tracylengyel@...> Sent: Thu, March 3, 2011 11:59:25 PMSubject: RE: Hi! New here and could really use some support

Hi from NY... and all I am really struggling mentally along with everything else. So, I was wondering if you could elaborate on how you are experiencing this. For instance, in my situation, I am having a hard time just thinking clearly, with memory problems, scattered thoughts, confused, hard time concentrating, obsessions, a feeling of loss of control of my life, and a serious feeling of dread. Then the anxiety and fear that I am losing my mind forever comes over me. Sometimes I can't even complete a sentence, like I forget what my point was and don't know how to finish what I'm saying. I sound mentally retarded, then I get angry over it. Sometimes, I wish I could be locked up away from any responsibility of anything so I won't get confused so much. Why would your husband think the answer was putting you in a mental hospital??????? To try to get you stabilized? How sad, ,, and it is poison that is causing it all. And I am not retaining information, especially directions way worse than before the implants. When someone is talking to me I actually blank out for a while and then come to and wonder what they were saying. It's BAD. So, I need to rest from all the struggling mentally and try to just go to sleep and hope to wake up more alive feeling. Sometimes sleep helps. Kolb's office didn't get back yet as to if they got an answer from insurance for explant....and I just moved and found out my husband has been addicted to porn most of our marriage... and even went to asian massage parlors. I just want to die. Ahhh... no wonder he pushed for boobs and I was so weak. I don't feel I can take care of myself and told him that if it is just ok that I just use to be a dad and pay the bills because I'm desperate he can stay around. And that we can have like a business relationship but our marriage bond is broken and over but for my daughter.... we can wait till shes older to make it final because she has been through so much sadness and loss in her life already and she is 13. How sad and dysfunctional. He wants to stay and says he's getting help but I no longer have him for my emotional needs because I am protecting myself. And I thought I had a good guy the last 17 years. from Az

From: mamacondon6@...Date: Thu, 3 Mar 2011 19:42:18 -0800Subject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

Sunny, I am so glad to know that others have experienced the same things....it got so bad recently that my husband thought it would be a good idea if I went away to a hospital in Utah for mentally ill people..in a lock up type facility for at least 30 days...away from my kids ,my life, my work..he almost had me convinced ,along w/ a "helpful" third party, who both kept telling me that I needed to be put away.

This was my moment, I don't know where it came from, because I've been trying for years to figure out why I'm sick...but I had my ah ha moment and I just kept saying "there is a physical reason for my depression, anxiety, brain fog...etc." They were making the arrangements for me to go when out of no where, I got the idea that it could be my implants!

I prayed to God to help me and He listened, the answer came that day....I can't explain it....but I do believe it.

You guys are the best,I won't stop saying it....hopefully, someday I will be able to type a success story here and be helpful to someone else, who is in the same dark place I am now.

I know brighter days are ahead, thanks for carrying me to them...I will promise to repay that kindness. in NY

From: Sun Lee <sunloves@...> Sent: Thu, March 3, 2011 1:14:23 PMSubject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

,

Don't count on men or anyone to understand your situation. Only the women who has gotten sick from the implant will know what we are talking about. You just have to do what it takes to get your health back and help yourself. When I got sick and I researched and determined that it was due to my implants, I discussed this with my boyfriend and he refused to believe me. He kept on saying that I should go to the doctors...I went to so many different doctors and none of them was able to help...and he still said there must be some doctor that could help. Even to this date he keeps saying that implants are safe, approved by FDS after so much research, etc. and that so many women are getting them without problems. He said his ex had it and never got sick from it. He said I must be going through menopause and finally he said it must be mental/psychological. We got into fight everytime we talked about implants so I finally decided not to mention anything about implant to him.

You can vent your frustrations on us because we know exactly what you're going through and every one of us are angry at what has happened...

Thanks

Sunny

From: Condon <mamacondon6@...> Sent: Thu, March 3, 2011 5:16:35 AMSubject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

,

I just feel so disappointed by his behavior, like why can't he just give me the same simple words of encouragement that are so easy for others? Why can't he just share in excitement at finally finding out what's wrong w/ me? Why can't he just tell me it's going to be alright? Sorry ,I just don't understand ,after 20 years of marriage and six kids, what went so wrong? I think this being sick, just takes normal married life ups-n-downs and makes them 100 times worseI'm having a bad week I guess, and it makes me angry because I am elated that I have discovered the cause of my troubles, this is cause for celebration and dancing! And I'm letting his piss poor attitude ruin it for me.

Okay so the beginning of this email was all negative....after venting..thank you very much...I'm feeling better already and will be positive today.

We can do it together..I never want to bring anyone else down.....happiness...it comes from within.

Bless this site, and it's people...it came to me just in the nick of time.

Thank you for listening, in NY

From: Inbody <inbo5599@...> Sent: Wed, March 2, 2011 8:45:26 PMSubject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

Hi ,

Hang in there. My ex was really rude too. He was great if I was healthy but as soon as I got sick it was like "sucks to be you, see ya". I always thought that if you married somebody it was in sickness and health but . . . apparently that's not the case. Oh . . . forgot to mention . . . he loved the implants and was great in the beginning - loved all the looks his wife got etc. but as soon as I got sick . . . you know the rest. Anyway take care, you're not alone, glad you found us, we're here for you, hugs,

From: Lengyel <tracylengyel@...> Sent: Tue, March 1, 2011 11:06:20 PMSubject: RE: Hi! New here and could really use some support

Hey Margie, I'm in Phoenix also and these implants ruined my life, health, and marriage. I resent my ignorant immoral husband and can't get over it. Then he refused to believe my implants were the cause of my health problems. He is worthless to me and I am stuck, so sick. Anyway, I have been on an explant consult with Hiatt, Leighton, and am now waiting to see whether Kolb in Atlanta can get my insurance to pay for some of the explant. What I have been through has made me hate men and this wicked society. I never would have done it if I wouldn't have been weak and my husband mentioned them but never took the time to look up possible consequences. I guess I was just as wicked focusing too much on looks. I am completely isolated and in a fog all the time, hating life, so I understand needing support. I am also deathly afraid of dying from complications from surgery, ironically. I am so sorry about your mom. Ohhh, I am unable to lose weight and have gained and a lot of days I don't even try to look good. I'm an absolute mess. I don't even want to lose weight because men look then. Sorry for the men bashing.........

From: massageequines@...Date: Wed, 23 Feb 2011 20:00:22 -0800Subject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

Did you have them put in in Phoenix? Just curious. I used Chasby Sacks in Phoenix 20 years ago and have hated him since. He lied, did a crap job and basically poisoned me.The main thing is to take your time to find a good surgeon to take them out, research, do your due diligence and start preparing your body, mind and soul for what you are doing. The healthier you get yourself before a surgery, the better....

Barbara, Winston & Yogi"The greatness of a nation can be judged by the way its animals are treated" GandhiPeace & Kindness in 2011In loving memory of TIRAWA

From: wittahatchit <wittahatchit@...>Subject: Hi! New here and could really use some support Date: Wednesday, February 23, 2011, 12:46 PM

My name is Margie from Phoenix, AZ. I got my implants in 1999 and I've been in a slow decline with my health for the past few years. I feel poisoned. The worst part is that my fiance doesn't even know that I have them, I have gained weight since I got them and they are barely able to even be felt. I have a sad story about how and why I got them and a long list of health ailments as well, far too many for a 32 year old and so far no diagnosis. I'd like to get my implants taken out but don't have the money and have a HUGE fear of surgery. (My mother died a few years ago from surgery complications) But for now I'll start with hello and I'm so glad to meet all of you!

[Guest guest]

I had to share this since porn keeps coming up . . .

my ex husbands "free online porn" cost him $90 when he got a virus.

From: Lengyel <tracylengyel@...> Sent: Mon, March 7, 2011 2:56:07 PMSubject: RE: Hi! New here and could really use some support

Yep, around the time I got the implants my husband had given up on sleeping with me. So, I thought, well if he leaves me and it is because he doesn't like being with me, I will feel more confident for someone else! How sick. I am glad to see that our sharing our pain is helping someone from being in the same pain after implantation. NOW... on top of it all, I thought I had the money for explantation with my income tax refund but student loan took the whole 6k!! Yep, killing yourself is exactly it, your smart for learning from other peoples mistakes. Keep up the great work and be very very proud of yourself. My husband is starting a mens group for porn addicts soon, and has finally admitted to himself that he used porn to alleviate stress and like a drug. He said he'd push the issue back in his mind so he didn't have

to really 'think' about how it was a problem. It is sad and scary to find out how screwed up your husband is. Life is so hard. And for those out there who think they do those things because we aren't good enough, sexy enough, pretty enough, etc.. for some nothing is enough when your an addict. We put some notification on the computer if someone opens up those sites now.

From: davidtehura@...Date: Fri, 4 Mar 2011 07:49:46 -0800Subject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

wow. is anyone getting my messages?i really relate to this. i have had a boyfreind who stopped sleeping with me and so i was considering IMPLANTS.my breasts are actually fine, but because irecently lost 25 pounds they are less full and kinda fallen SLIGHTLY.what i realized from rading your nte is this-my BF is ALSO A SEX ADDICT. and it is HIS bad behaviour that made me consider implants. thanks to reading all this I am not going to do it. My BREASTS have nothing to do with HIS PROBLEM. If I got implants it would be great for three weeks and then right back AND I WOULD BE KILLING MYSELF

From: Lengyel <tracylengyel@...> Sent: Fri, March 4, 2011 7:28:56 AMSubject: RE: Hi! New here and could really use some support from NY and all... Thanks for sharing the details about the kinds of things that are happening to you mentally. It is very lonely feeling like your losing it, and shameful to tell other people what we are going through because of a vane decision. I also have to stop and think through the confusion,,, what am I doing right now? Sometimes when my daughter is speaking to me and I am not even doing anything, I can't focus on what she is

saying. My husband took a very long time to come around to believe the implants made me sick, but got onboard about 3 months ago, finally. I am finally realizing he has severe mental problems. I've been doing much online searching and he has an avoidance personality. Like, when he went to those 2 women for a "massage", his dad was dying and his mom was abusing him and didn't believe HE WAS SICK!!!! We didn't know he had a rare form of blood cancer and couldn't walk and they were living with us at the time and my husbands mom was telling her husband, my husbands father, he wasn't trying because he has a negative attitude. It was clear he was sick but she has this denial avoidance problem too!!!! Then she uses sugar to make her feel good. Sooo, I wallow in my sorrow but I don't use anything and I don't avoid or

deny. So a lot of our men may be struggling mentally too. He is acting perfect right now and I'm glad for a little more peace in the surroundings, but I will work on trying to disconnect knowing he can leave me at any moment having these urges and he had a sex addiction he claims he cured when he realized how bad it got with going where he went. I don't wanna offend the others here if they don't wanna hear about spiritual life, but that is what got him under control. I believe this because the "charges stopped" on the credit card at the same point he started talking about going to church about 3 years ago. Then he started pushing to pray before dinner, buying crosses, joined a mens spiritual group and all the signs are there he tried. But the hurt and lack of trust that his troubled mind can go where it did is sickening. Is anyone else going through these things? I am guessing since we made the decision we

did to get implants, some of us may have struggled with wanting to increase pleasure... try to fulfill more sexual desires.. try to please ourselves and husbands with our looks... I know I was very much like that. I realize I started this mentality when I was a teenager. I want to be a different person than that. I just want a clear clean conscience. I hope everyone is doing ok today, I wish we could get together also. Hey,,, do the people in Arizona wanna meet for coffee sometime? I have all day and I can drive anywhere... from Az

From: mamacondon6@...Date: Fri, 4 Mar 2011 05:06:34 -0800Subject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

,

I'm so sorry you have to have all these bad things happening at once. It sounds like you could really use a break, I wish I could be there physically for you, I would be happy to help in any way I can! It's impossible to go through everyday sick, let alone deal w/ huge life "stuff" on top of it.

I'm sorry your husband is not supportive right now, and I know how much worrying about our children can drain us, even on good days.

In the brain department, I too, have scary moments. I had a time when I was driving on a two lane country highway and I completely forgot which side of the road I was supposed to be on..it was terrifying..I had my kids in the car and I have been driving for 20+ years! I had to pull over. I waited until another car went past me so I could figure it out.I felt so confused ,like I was loosing my mind. At work they tease me ,because I forget everything, I read something and I can't retain any of it.

I truly feel like I'm unbalanced in my brain sometimes, it scares me. And now I can't talk to my husband about that because he thinks I need serious meds! Or to get put away, "until I'm better".

But when I mention that I think explant surgery will make me better ,he discounts it. I want to scream at him, I feel so trapped, because I need him to help me, but I just want to find someone who will care for me and about me.

Remember there is a physical reason we feel this way.the poison in our chests!Right now it feels like we are in an impossible place..but there is hope..Dr. Kolb, I have not heard back either about insurance....we will get better, we will be our old selves again....we will look back on this time and know it made us stronger and smarter!

Maybe Dr. Kolb will give us a two for one deal if we get it done together!!!hahah

I wish I could help you in AZ, keep typing, everyone here knows what your going through, in every aspect.

Feel my prayers, hugs and support today...good days are ahead.

in NY

From: Lengyel <tracylengyel@...> Sent: Thu, March 3, 2011 11:59:25 PMSubject: RE: Hi! New here and could really use some support

Hi from NY... and all I am really struggling mentally along with everything else. So, I was wondering if you could elaborate on how you are experiencing this. For instance, in my situation, I am having a hard time just thinking clearly, with memory problems, scattered thoughts, confused, hard time concentrating, obsessions, a feeling of loss of control of my life, and a serious feeling of dread. Then the anxiety and fear that I am losing my mind forever comes over me. Sometimes I can't even complete a sentence, like I forget what my point was and don't know how to finish what I'm saying. I sound mentally retarded, then I get angry over it. Sometimes, I wish I could be locked up away from any responsibility of anything so I won't get confused so much. Why would

your husband think the answer was putting you in a mental hospital??????? To try to get you stabilized? How sad, ,, and it is poison that is causing it all. And I am not retaining information, especially directions way worse than before the implants. When someone is talking to me I actually blank out for a while and then come to and wonder what they were saying. It's BAD. So, I need to rest from all the struggling mentally and try to just go to sleep and hope to wake up more alive feeling. Sometimes sleep helps. Kolb's office didn't get back yet as to if they got an answer from insurance for explant....and I just moved and found out my husband has been addicted to porn most of our marriage... and even went to asian massage parlors. I just want to die. Ahhh... no wonder he pushed for boobs and I was so weak. I don't feel I can take care of myself and told him that if

it is just ok that I just use to be a dad and pay the bills because I'm desperate he can stay around. And that we can have like a business relationship but our marriage bond is broken and over but for my daughter.... we can wait till shes older to make it final because she has been through so much sadness and loss in her life already and she is 13. How sad and dysfunctional. He wants to stay and says he's getting help but I no longer have him for my emotional needs because I am protecting myself. And I thought I had a good guy the last 17 years. from Az

From: mamacondon6@...Date: Thu, 3 Mar 2011 19:42:18 -0800Subject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

Sunny, I am so glad to know that others have experienced the same things....it got so bad recently that my husband thought it would be a good idea if I went away to a hospital in Utah for mentally ill people..in a lock up type facility for at least 30 days...away from my kids ,my life, my work..he almost had me convinced ,along w/ a "helpful" third party, who both kept telling me that I needed to be put away.

This was my moment, I don't know where it came from, because I've been trying for years to figure out why I'm sick...but I had my ah ha moment and I just kept saying "there is a physical reason for my depression, anxiety, brain fog...etc." They were making the arrangements for me to go when out of no where, I got the idea that it could be my implants!

I prayed to God to help me and He listened, the answer came that day....I can't explain it....but I do believe it.

You guys are the best,I won't stop saying it....hopefully, someday I will be able to type a success story here and be helpful to someone else, who is in the same dark place I am now.

I know brighter days are ahead, thanks for carrying me to them...I will promise to repay that kindness. in NY

From: Sun Lee <sunloves@...> Sent: Thu, March 3, 2011 1:14:23 PMSubject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

,

Don't count on men or anyone to understand your situation. Only the women who has gotten sick from the implant will know what we are talking about. You just have to do what it takes to get your health back and help yourself. When I got sick and I researched and determined that it was due to my implants, I discussed this with my boyfriend and he refused to believe me. He kept on saying that I should go to the doctors...I went to so many different doctors and none of them was able to help...and he still said there must be some doctor that could help. Even to this date he keeps saying that implants are safe, approved by FDS after so much research, etc. and that so many women are getting them without problems. He said his ex had it and never got sick from it. He said I must be going through menopause and finally he said it must be mental/psychological. We got into fight everytime we talked about

implants so I finally decided not to mention anything about implant to him.

You can vent your frustrations on us because we know exactly what you're going through and every one of us are angry at what has happened...

Thanks

Sunny

From: Condon <mamacondon6@...> Sent: Thu, March 3, 2011 5:16:35 AMSubject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

,

I just feel so disappointed by his behavior, like why can't he just give me the same simple words of encouragement that are so easy for others? Why can't he just share in excitement at finally finding out what's wrong w/ me? Why can't he just tell me it's going to be alright? Sorry ,I just don't understand ,after 20 years of marriage and six kids, what went so wrong? I think this being sick, just takes normal married life ups-n-downs and makes them 100 times worseI'm having a bad week I guess, and it makes me angry because I am elated that I have discovered the cause of my troubles, this is cause for celebration and dancing! And I'm letting his piss poor attitude ruin it for me.

Okay so the beginning of this email was all negative....after venting..thank you very much...I'm feeling better already and will be positive today.

We can do it together..I never want to bring anyone else down.....happiness...it comes from within.

Bless this site, and it's people...it came to me just in the nick of time.

Thank you for listening, in NY

From: Inbody <inbo5599@...> Sent: Wed, March 2, 2011 8:45:26 PMSubject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

Hi ,

Hang in there. My ex was really rude too. He was great if I was healthy but as soon as I got sick it was like "sucks to be you, see ya". I always thought that if you married somebody it was in sickness and health but . . . apparently that's not the case. Oh . . . forgot to mention . . . he loved the implants and was great in the beginning - loved all the looks his wife got etc. but as soon as I got sick . . . you know the rest. Anyway take care, you're not alone, glad you found us, we're here for you, hugs,

From: Lengyel <tracylengyel@...> Sent: Tue, March 1, 2011 11:06:20 PMSubject: RE: Hi! New here and could really use some support Hey Margie, I'm in Phoenix also and these implants ruined my life, health, and marriage. I resent my ignorant immoral husband and can't get over it. Then he refused to believe my implants were the cause of my health problems. He is worthless to me and I am stuck, so sick. Anyway, I have been on an explant consult with Hiatt, Leighton, and am now waiting to see whether Kolb in Atlanta can get my insurance to pay for some of the explant. What I have been through has made me hate men and this wicked society. I never would have done it if I wouldn't have been weak and my husband mentioned them but never took the time to look up possible consequences. I guess I was just as wicked focusing too much on looks. I am completely isolated and in a fog all the time, hating life, so I understand needing support. I

am also deathly afraid of dying from complications from surgery, ironically. I am so sorry about your mom. Ohhh, I am unable to lose weight and have gained and a lot of days I don't even try to look good. I'm an absolute mess. I don't even want to lose weight because men look then. Sorry for the men bashing.........

From: massageequines@...Date: Wed, 23 Feb 2011 20:00:22 -0800Subject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

Did you have them put in in Phoenix? Just curious. I used Chasby Sacks in Phoenix 20 years ago and have hated him since. He lied, did a crap job and basically poisoned me.The main thing is to take your time to find a good surgeon to take them out, research, do your due diligence and start preparing your body, mind and soul for what you are doing. The healthier you get yourself before a surgery, the better....

Barbara, Winston & Yogi"The greatness of a nation can be judged by the way its animals are treated" GandhiPeace & Kindness in 2011In loving memory of TIRAWA

From: wittahatchit <wittahatchit@...>Subject: Hi! New here and could really use some support Date: Wednesday, February 23, 2011, 12:46 PM

My name is Margie from Phoenix, AZ. I got my implants in 1999 and I've been in a slow decline with my health for the past few years. I feel poisoned. The worst part is that my fiance doesn't even know that I have them, I have gained weight since I got them and they are barely able to even be felt. I have a sad story about how and why I got them and a long list of health ailments as well, far too many for a 32 year old and so far no diagnosis. I'd like to get my implants taken out but don't have the money and have a HUGE fear of surgery. (My mother died a few years ago from surgery complications) But for now I'll start with hello and I'm so glad to meet all of you!

[Guest guest]

AZ ,

Hi everyone..I was thinking about this porn thing..and I've never really been for it or against it, I never really thought about how harmful it is. My husband likes to watch it w/ me and I never minded much except now that I think about it,it makes me feel completely inferior!

These women,bless them, are perfect! Many times due to surgery of course, but otherwise , they are young ,thin, pretty, and always available.

You never see a woman that has stretchmarks or a flabby belly from childbirth! They don't have cellulite and saggy boobs from nursing.

They look fabulous all the time!!

I can't compete w/ that..not on my best day and it makes me feel really bad about myself.

I get pissed off that we look at that and in turn think bad things about our own images.

This is where the idea starts that we need to have perky boobs, tummy tucks and lipo...

I hate that my daughter will feel like she has to keep up this standard.

I hate myself for being so vain about my body, instead of embracing my mommy body.

I need to say good things to myself and other women in my life...like "what an amazing thing our bodies can do..grow and feed children!"

My stretch marks are who I am..My gooey belly is from 6 kids that grew inside me..my saggy boobs nourished those same 6 round faced babies and I should be proud not ashamed of my body. Yeah right!

It will take a long time before I believe any of that.And an even longer time before any man wants to see a body like mine on any porn!I'm sorry you are going through such a bad time, I wish I could do more then send you my own rant!

Still waiting on Dr.Kolb..keep praying.

You are beautiful. We all are ,just the way we are.

in NY

From: Inbody <inbo5599@...> Sent: Mon, March 7, 2011 5:03:39 PMSubject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

I had to share this since porn keeps coming up . . .

my ex husbands "free online porn" cost him $90 when he got a virus.

From: Lengyel <tracylengyel@...> Sent: Mon, March 7, 2011 2:56:07 PMSubject: RE: Hi! New here and could really use some support

Yep, around the time I got the implants my husband had given up on sleeping with me. So, I thought, well if he leaves me and it is because he doesn't like being with me, I will feel more confident for someone else! How sick. I am glad to see that our sharing our pain is helping someone from being in the same pain after implantation. NOW... on top of it all, I thought I had the money for explantation with my income tax refund but student loan took the whole 6k!! Yep, killing yourself is exactly it, your smart for learning from other peoples mistakes. Keep up the great work and be very very proud of yourself. My husband is starting a mens group for porn addicts soon, and has finally admitted to himself that he used porn to alleviate stress and like a drug. He said he'd push the issue back in his mind so he didn't have

to really 'think' about how it was a problem. It is sad and scary to find out how screwed up your husband is. Life is so hard. And for those out there who think they do those things because we aren't good enough, sexy enough, pretty enough, etc.. for some nothing is enough when your an addict. We put some notification on the computer if someone opens up those sites now.

From: davidtehura@...Date: Fri, 4 Mar 2011 07:49:46 -0800Subject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

wow. is anyone getting my messages?i really relate to this. i have had a boyfreind who stopped sleeping with me and so i was considering IMPLANTS.my breasts are actually fine, but because irecently lost 25 pounds they are less full and kinda fallen SLIGHTLY.what i realized from rading your nte is this-my BF is ALSO A SEX ADDICT. and it is HIS bad behaviour that made me consider implants. thanks to reading all this I am not going to do it. My BREASTS have nothing to do with HIS PROBLEM. If I got implants it would be great for three weeks and then right back AND I WOULD BE KILLING MYSELF

From: Lengyel <tracylengyel@...> Sent: Fri, March 4, 2011 7:28:56 AMSubject: RE: Hi! New here and could really use some support from NY and all... Thanks for sharing the details about the kinds of things that are happening to you mentally. It is very lonely feeling like your losing it, and shameful to tell other people what we are going through because of a vane decision. I also have to stop and think through the confusion,,, what am I doing right now? Sometimes when my daughter is speaking to me and I am not even doing anything, I can't focus on what she is

saying. My husband took a very long time to come around to believe the implants made me sick, but got onboard about 3 months ago, finally. I am finally realizing he has severe mental problems. I've been doing much online searching and he has an avoidance personality. Like, when he went to those 2 women for a "massage", his dad was dying and his mom was abusing him and didn't believe HE WAS SICK!!!! We didn't know he had a rare form of blood cancer and couldn't walk and they were living with us at the time and my husbands mom was telling her husband, my husbands father, he wasn't trying because he has a negative attitude. It was clear he was sick but she has this denial avoidance problem too!!!! Then she uses sugar to make her feel good. Sooo, I wallow in my sorrow but I don't use anything and I don't avoid or

deny. So a lot of our men may be struggling mentally too. He is acting perfect right now and I'm glad for a little more peace in the surroundings, but I will work on trying to disconnect knowing he can leave me at any moment having these urges and he had a sex addiction he claims he cured when he realized how bad it got with going where he went. I don't wanna offend the others here if they don't wanna hear about spiritual life, but that is what got him under control. I believe this because the "charges stopped" on the credit card at the same point he started talking about going to church about 3 years ago. Then he started pushing to pray before dinner, buying crosses, joined a mens spiritual group and all the signs are there he tried. But the hurt and lack of trust that his troubled mind can go where it did is sickening. Is anyone else going through these things? I am guessing since we made the decision we

did to get implants, some of us may have struggled with wanting to increase pleasure... try to fulfill more sexual desires.. try to please ourselves and husbands with our looks... I know I was very much like that. I realize I started this mentality when I was a teenager. I want to be a different person than that. I just want a clear clean conscience. I hope everyone is doing ok today, I wish we could get together also. Hey,,, do the people in Arizona wanna meet for coffee sometime? I have all day and I can drive anywhere... from Az

From: mamacondon6@...Date: Fri, 4 Mar 2011 05:06:34 -0800Subject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

,

I'm so sorry you have to have all these bad things happening at once. It sounds like you could really use a break, I wish I could be there physically for you, I would be happy to help in any way I can! It's impossible to go through everyday sick, let alone deal w/ huge life "stuff" on top of it.

I'm sorry your husband is not supportive right now, and I know how much worrying about our children can drain us, even on good days.

In the brain department, I too, have scary moments. I had a time when I was driving on a two lane country highway and I completely forgot which side of the road I was supposed to be on..it was terrifying..I had my kids in the car and I have been driving for 20+ years! I had to pull over. I waited until another car went past me so I could figure it out.I felt so confused ,like I was loosing my mind. At work they tease me ,because I forget everything, I read something and I can't retain any of it.

I truly feel like I'm unbalanced in my brain sometimes, it scares me. And now I can't talk to my husband about that because he thinks I need serious meds! Or to get put away, "until I'm better".

But when I mention that I think explant surgery will make me better ,he discounts it. I want to scream at him, I feel so trapped, because I need him to help me, but I just want to find someone who will care for me and about me.

Remember there is a physical reason we feel this way.the poison in our chests!Right now it feels like we are in an impossible place..but there is hope..Dr. Kolb, I have not heard back either about insurance....we will get better, we will be our old selves again....we will look back on this time and know it made us stronger and smarter!

Maybe Dr. Kolb will give us a two for one deal if we get it done together!!!hahah

I wish I could help you in AZ, keep typing, everyone here knows what your going through, in every aspect.

Feel my prayers, hugs and support today...good days are ahead.

in NY

From: Lengyel <tracylengyel@...> Sent: Thu, March 3, 2011 11:59:25 PMSubject: RE: Hi! New here and could really use some support

Hi from NY... and all I am really struggling mentally along with everything else. So, I was wondering if you could elaborate on how you are experiencing this. For instance, in my situation, I am having a hard time just thinking clearly, with memory problems, scattered thoughts, confused, hard time concentrating, obsessions, a feeling of loss of control of my life, and a serious feeling of dread. Then the anxiety and fear that I am losing my mind forever comes over me. Sometimes I can't even complete a sentence, like I forget what my point was and don't know how to finish what I'm saying. I sound mentally retarded, then I get angry over it. Sometimes, I wish I could be locked up away from any responsibility of anything so I won't get confused so much. Why would

your husband think the answer was putting you in a mental hospital??????? To try to get you stabilized? How sad, ,, and it is poison that is causing it all. And I am not retaining information, especially directions way worse than before the implants. When someone is talking to me I actually blank out for a while and then come to and wonder what they were saying. It's BAD. So, I need to rest from all the struggling mentally and try to just go to sleep and hope to wake up more alive feeling. Sometimes sleep helps. Kolb's office didn't get back yet as to if they got an answer from insurance for explant....and I just moved and found out my husband has been addicted to porn most of our marriage... and even went to asian massage parlors. I just want to die. Ahhh... no wonder he pushed for boobs and I was so weak. I don't feel I can take care of myself and told him that if

it is just ok that I just use to be a dad and pay the bills because I'm desperate he can stay around. And that we can have like a business relationship but our marriage bond is broken and over but for my daughter.... we can wait till shes older to make it final because she has been through so much sadness and loss in her life already and she is 13. How sad and dysfunctional. He wants to stay and says he's getting help but I no longer have him for my emotional needs because I am protecting myself. And I thought I had a good guy the last 17 years. from Az

From: mamacondon6@...Date: Thu, 3 Mar 2011 19:42:18 -0800Subject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

Sunny, I am so glad to know that others have experienced the same things....it got so bad recently that my husband thought it would be a good idea if I went away to a hospital in Utah for mentally ill people..in a lock up type facility for at least 30 days...away from my kids ,my life, my work..he almost had me convinced ,along w/ a "helpful" third party, who both kept telling me that I needed to be put away.

This was my moment, I don't know where it came from, because I've been trying for years to figure out why I'm sick...but I had my ah ha moment and I just kept saying "there is a physical reason for my depression, anxiety, brain fog...etc." They were making the arrangements for me to go when out of no where, I got the idea that it could be my implants!

I prayed to God to help me and He listened, the answer came that day....I can't explain it....but I do believe it.

You guys are the best,I won't stop saying it....hopefully, someday I will be able to type a success story here and be helpful to someone else, who is in the same dark place I am now.

I know brighter days are ahead, thanks for carrying me to them...I will promise to repay that kindness. in NY

From: Sun Lee <sunloves@...> Sent: Thu, March 3, 2011 1:14:23 PMSubject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

,

Don't count on men or anyone to understand your situation. Only the women who has gotten sick from the implant will know what we are talking about. You just have to do what it takes to get your health back and help yourself. When I got sick and I researched and determined that it was due to my implants, I discussed this with my boyfriend and he refused to believe me. He kept on saying that I should go to the doctors...I went to so many different doctors and none of them was able to help...and he still said there must be some doctor that could help. Even to this date he keeps saying that implants are safe, approved by FDS after so much research, etc. and that so many women are getting them without problems. He said his ex had it and never got sick from it. He said I must be going through menopause and finally he said it must be mental/psychological. We got into fight everytime we talked about

implants so I finally decided not to mention anything about implant to him.

You can vent your frustrations on us because we know exactly what you're going through and every one of us are angry at what has happened...

Thanks

Sunny

From: Condon <mamacondon6@...> Sent: Thu, March 3, 2011 5:16:35 AMSubject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

,

I just feel so disappointed by his behavior, like why can't he just give me the same simple words of encouragement that are so easy for others? Why can't he just share in excitement at finally finding out what's wrong w/ me? Why can't he just tell me it's going to be alright? Sorry ,I just don't understand ,after 20 years of marriage and six kids, what went so wrong? I think this being sick, just takes normal married life ups-n-downs and makes them 100 times worseI'm having a bad week I guess, and it makes me angry because I am elated that I have discovered the cause of my troubles, this is cause for celebration and dancing! And I'm letting his piss poor attitude ruin it for me.

Okay so the beginning of this email was all negative....after venting..thank you very much...I'm feeling better already and will be positive today.

We can do it together..I never want to bring anyone else down.....happiness...it comes from within.

Bless this site, and it's people...it came to me just in the nick of time.

Thank you for listening, in NY

From: Inbody <inbo5599@...> Sent: Wed, March 2, 2011 8:45:26 PMSubject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

Hi ,

Hang in there. My ex was really rude too. He was great if I was healthy but as soon as I got sick it was like "sucks to be you, see ya". I always thought that if you married somebody it was in sickness and health but . . . apparently that's not the case. Oh . . . forgot to mention . . . he loved the implants and was great in the beginning - loved all the looks his wife got etc. but as soon as I got sick . . . you know the rest. Anyway take care, you're not alone, glad you found us, we're here for you, hugs,

From: Lengyel <tracylengyel@...> Sent: Tue, March 1, 2011 11:06:20 PMSubject: RE: Hi! New here and could really use some support Hey Margie, I'm in Phoenix also and these implants ruined my life, health, and marriage. I resent my ignorant immoral husband and can't get over it. Then he refused to believe my implants were the cause of my health problems. He is worthless to me and I am stuck, so sick. Anyway, I have been on an explant consult with Hiatt, Leighton, and am now waiting to see whether Kolb in Atlanta can get my insurance to pay for some of the explant. What I have been through has made me hate men and this wicked society. I never would have done it if I wouldn't have been weak and my husband mentioned them but never took the time to look up possible consequences. I guess I was just as wicked focusing too much on looks. I am completely isolated and in a fog all the time, hating life, so I understand needing support. I

am also deathly afraid of dying from complications from surgery, ironically. I am so sorry about your mom. Ohhh, I am unable to lose weight and have gained and a lot of days I don't even try to look good. I'm an absolute mess. I don't even want to lose weight because men look then. Sorry for the men bashing.........

From: massageequines@...Date: Wed, 23 Feb 2011 20:00:22 -0800Subject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

Did you have them put in in Phoenix? Just curious. I used Chasby Sacks in Phoenix 20 years ago and have hated him since. He lied, did a crap job and basically poisoned me.The main thing is to take your time to find a good surgeon to take them out, research, do your due diligence and start preparing your body, mind and soul for what you are doing. The healthier you get yourself before a surgery, the better....

Barbara, Winston & Yogi"The greatness of a nation can be judged by the way its animals are treated" GandhiPeace & Kindness in 2011In loving memory of TIRAWA

From: wittahatchit <wittahatchit@...>Subject: Hi! New here and could really use some support Date: Wednesday, February 23, 2011, 12:46 PM

My name is Margie from Phoenix, AZ. I got my implants in 1999 and I've been in a slow decline with my health for the past few years. I feel poisoned. The worst part is that my fiance doesn't even know that I have them, I have gained weight since I got them and they are barely able to even be felt. I have a sad story about how and why I got them and a long list of health ailments as well, far too many for a 32 year old and so far no diagnosis. I'd like to get my implants taken out but don't have the money and have a HUGE fear of surgery. (My mother died a few years ago from surgery complications) But for now I'll start with hello and I'm so glad to meet all of you!

[Guest guest]

Yes, and it can't be free if you have to give them a credit card number. I'm so sorry many of us have to go through this feeling of "not measuring up". My husband starts counseling today.

From: inbo5599@...Date: Mon, 7 Mar 2011 14:03:39 -0800Subject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

I had to share this since porn keeps coming up . . .

my ex husbands "free online porn" cost him $90 when he got a virus.

From: Lengyel <tracylengyel@...> Sent: Mon, March 7, 2011 2:56:07 PMSubject: RE: Hi! New here and could really use some support

Yep, around the time I got the implants my husband had given up on sleeping with me. So, I thought, well if he leaves me and it is because he doesn't like being with me, I will feel more confident for someone else! How sick. I am glad to see that our sharing our pain is helping someone from being in the same pain after implantation. NOW... on top of it all, I thought I had the money for explantation with my income tax refund but student loan took the whole 6k!! Yep, killing yourself is exactly it, your smart for learning from other peoples mistakes. Keep up the great work and be very very proud of yourself. My husband is starting a mens group for porn addicts soon, and has finally admitted to himself that he used porn to alleviate stress and like a drug. He said he'd push the issue back in his mind so he didn't have to really 'think' about how it was a problem. It is sad and scary to find out how screwed up your husband is. Life is so hard. And for those out there who think they do those things because we aren't good enough, sexy enough, pretty enough, etc.. for some nothing is enough when your an addict. We put some notification on the computer if someone opens up those sites now.

From: davidtehura@...Date: Fri, 4 Mar 2011 07:49:46 -0800Subject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

wow. is anyone getting my messages?i really relate to this. i have had a boyfreind who stopped sleeping with me and so i was considering IMPLANTS.my breasts are actually fine, but because irecently lost 25 pounds they are less full and kinda fallen SLIGHTLY.what i realized from rading your nte is this-my BF is ALSO A SEX ADDICT. and it is HIS bad behaviour that made me consider implants. thanks to reading all this I am not going to do it. My BREASTS have nothing to do with HIS PROBLEM. If I got implants it would be great for three weeks and then right back AND I WOULD BE KILLING MYSELF

From: Lengyel <tracylengyel@...> Sent: Fri, March 4, 2011 7:28:56 AMSubject: RE: Hi! New here and could really use some support from NY and all... Thanks for sharing the details about the kinds of things that are happening to you mentally. It is very lonely feeling like your losing it, and shameful to tell other people what we are going through because of a vane decision. I also have to stop and think through the confusion,,, what am I doing right now? Sometimes when my daughter is speaking to me and I am not even doing anything, I can't focus on what she is saying. My husband took a very long time to come around to believe the implants made me sick, but got onboard about 3 months ago, finally. I am finally realizing he has severe mental problems. I've been doing much online searching and he has an avoidance personality. Like, when he went to those 2 women for a "massage", his dad was dying and his mom was abusing him and didn't believe HE WAS SICK!!!! We didn't know he had a rare form of blood cancer and couldn't walk and they were living with us at the time and my husbands mom was telling her husband, my husbands father, he wasn't trying because he has a negative attitude. It was clear he was sick but she has this denial avoidance problem too!!!! Then she uses sugar to make her feel good. Sooo, I wallow in my sorrow but I don't use anything and I don't avoid or deny. So a lot of our men may be struggling mentally too. He is acting perfect right now and I'm glad for a little more peace in the surroundings, but I will work on trying to disconnect knowing he can leave me at any moment having these urges and he had a sex addiction he claims he cured when he realized how bad it got with going where he went. I don't wanna offend the others here if they don't wanna hear about spiritual life, but that is what got him under control. I believe this because the "charges stopped" on the credit card at the same point he started talking about going to church about 3 years ago. Then he started pushing to pray before dinner, buying crosses, joined a mens spiritual group and all the signs are there he tried. But the hurt and lack of trust that his troubled mind can go where it did is sickening. Is anyone else going through these things? I am guessing since we made the decision we did to get implants, some of us may have struggled with wanting to increase pleasure... try to fulfill more sexual desires.. try to please ourselves and husbands with our looks... I know I was very much like that. I realize I started this mentality when I was a teenager. I want to be a different person than that. I just want a clear clean conscience. I hope everyone is doing ok today, I wish we could get together also. Hey,,, do the people in Arizona wanna meet for coffee sometime? I have all day and I can drive anywhere... from Az

From: mamacondon6@...Date: Fri, 4 Mar 2011 05:06:34 -0800Subject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

,

I'm so sorry you have to have all these bad things happening at once. It sounds like you could really use a break, I wish I could be there physically for you, I would be happy to help in any way I can! It's impossible to go through everyday sick, let alone deal w/ huge life "stuff" on top of it.

I'm sorry your husband is not supportive right now, and I know how much worrying about our children can drain us, even on good days.

In the brain department, I too, have scary moments. I had a time when I was driving on a two lane country highway and I completely forgot which side of the road I was supposed to be on..it was terrifying..I had my kids in the car and I have been driving for 20+ years! I had to pull over. I waited until another car went past me so I could figure it out.I felt so confused ,like I was loosing my mind. At work they tease me ,because I forget everything, I read something and I can't retain any of it.

I truly feel like I'm unbalanced in my brain sometimes, it scares me. And now I can't talk to my husband about that because he thinks I need serious meds! Or to get put away, "until I'm better".

But when I mention that I think explant surgery will make me better ,he discounts it. I want to scream at him, I feel so trapped, because I need him to help me, but I just want to find someone who will care for me and about me.

Remember there is a physical reason we feel this way.the poison in our chests!Right now it feels like we are in an impossible place..but there is hope..Dr. Kolb, I have not heard back either about insurance....we will get better, we will be our old selves again....we will look back on this time and know it made us stronger and smarter!

Maybe Dr. Kolb will give us a two for one deal if we get it done together!!!hahah

I wish I could help you in AZ, keep typing, everyone here knows what your going through, in every aspect.

Feel my prayers, hugs and support today...good days are ahead.

in NY

From: Lengyel <tracylengyel@...> Sent: Thu, March 3, 2011 11:59:25 PMSubject: RE: Hi! New here and could really use some support

Hi from NY... and all I am really struggling mentally along with everything else. So, I was wondering if you could elaborate on how you are experiencing this. For instance, in my situation, I am having a hard time just thinking clearly, with memory problems, scattered thoughts, confused, hard time concentrating, obsessions, a feeling of loss of control of my life, and a serious feeling of dread. Then the anxiety and fear that I am losing my mind forever comes over me. Sometimes I can't even complete a sentence, like I forget what my point was and don't know how to finish what I'm saying. I sound mentally retarded, then I get angry over it. Sometimes, I wish I could be locked up away from any responsibility of anything so I won't get confused so much. Why would your husband think the answer was putting you in a mental hospital??????? To try to get you stabilized? How sad, ,, and it is poison that is causing it all. And I am not retaining information, especially directions way worse than before the implants. When someone is talking to me I actually blank out for a while and then come to and wonder what they were saying. It's BAD. So, I need to rest from all the struggling mentally and try to just go to sleep and hope to wake up more alive feeling. Sometimes sleep helps. Kolb's office didn't get back yet as to if they got an answer from insurance for explant....and I just moved and found out my husband has been addicted to porn most of our marriage... and even went to asian massage parlors. I just want to die. Ahhh... no wonder he pushed for boobs and I was so weak. I don't feel I can take care of myself and told him that if it is just ok that I just use to be a dad and pay the bills because I'm desperate he can stay around. And that we can have like a business relationship but our marriage bond is broken and over but for my daughter.... we can wait till shes older to make it final because she has been through so much sadness and loss in her life already and she is 13. How sad and dysfunctional. He wants to stay and says he's getting help but I no longer have him for my emotional needs because I am protecting myself. And I thought I had a good guy the last 17 years. from Az

From: mamacondon6@...Date: Thu, 3 Mar 2011 19:42:18 -0800Subject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

Sunny, I am so glad to know that others have experienced the same things....it got so bad recently that my husband thought it would be a good idea if I went away to a hospital in Utah for mentally ill people..in a lock up type facility for at least 30 days...away from my kids ,my life, my work..he almost had me convinced ,along w/ a "helpful" third party, who both kept telling me that I needed to be put away.

This was my moment, I don't know where it came from, because I've been trying for years to figure out why I'm sick...but I had my ah ha moment and I just kept saying "there is a physical reason for my depression, anxiety, brain fog...etc." They were making the arrangements for me to go when out of no where, I got the idea that it could be my implants!

I prayed to God to help me and He listened, the answer came that day....I can't explain it....but I do believe it.

You guys are the best,I won't stop saying it....hopefully, someday I will be able to type a success story here and be helpful to someone else, who is in the same dark place I am now.

I know brighter days are ahead, thanks for carrying me to them...I will promise to repay that kindness. in NY

From: Sun Lee <sunloves@...> Sent: Thu, March 3, 2011 1:14:23 PMSubject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

,

Don't count on men or anyone to understand your situation. Only the women who has gotten sick from the implant will know what we are talking about. You just have to do what it takes to get your health back and help yourself. When I got sick and I researched and determined that it was due to my implants, I discussed this with my boyfriend and he refused to believe me. He kept on saying that I should go to the doctors...I went to so many different doctors and none of them was able to help...and he still said there must be some doctor that could help. Even to this date he keeps saying that implants are safe, approved by FDS after so much research, etc. and that so many women are getting them without problems. He said his ex had it and never got sick from it. He said I must be going through menopause and finally he said it must be mental/psychological. We got into fight everytime we talked about implants so I finally decided not to mention anything about implant to him.

You can vent your frustrations on us because we know exactly what you're going through and every one of us are angry at what has happened...

Thanks

Sunny

From: Condon <mamacondon6@...> Sent: Thu, March 3, 2011 5:16:35 AMSubject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

,

I just feel so disappointed by his behavior, like why can't he just give me the same simple words of encouragement that are so easy for others? Why can't he just share in excitement at finally finding out what's wrong w/ me? Why can't he just tell me it's going to be alright? Sorry ,I just don't understand ,after 20 years of marriage and six kids, what went so wrong? I think this being sick, just takes normal married life ups-n-downs and makes them 100 times worseI'm having a bad week I guess, and it makes me angry because I am elated that I have discovered the cause of my troubles, this is cause for celebration and dancing! And I'm letting his piss poor attitude ruin it for me.

Okay so the beginning of this email was all negative....after venting..thank you very much...I'm feeling better already and will be positive today.

We can do it together..I never want to bring anyone else down.....happiness...it comes from within.

Bless this site, and it's people...it came to me just in the nick of time.

Thank you for listening, in NY

From: Inbody <inbo5599@...> Sent: Wed, March 2, 2011 8:45:26 PMSubject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

Hi ,

Hang in there. My ex was really rude too. He was great if I was healthy but as soon as I got sick it was like "sucks to be you, see ya". I always thought that if you married somebody it was in sickness and health but . . . apparently that's not the case. Oh . . . forgot to mention . . . he loved the implants and was great in the beginning - loved all the looks his wife got etc. but as soon as I got sick . . . you know the rest. Anyway take care, you're not alone, glad you found us, we're here for you, hugs,

From: Lengyel <tracylengyel@...> Sent: Tue, March 1, 2011 11:06:20 PMSubject: RE: Hi! New here and could really use some support Hey Margie, I'm in Phoenix also and these implants ruined my life, health, and marriage. I resent my ignorant immoral husband and can't get over it. Then he refused to believe my implants were the cause of my health problems. He is worthless to me and I am stuck, so sick. Anyway, I have been on an explant consult with Hiatt, Leighton, and am now waiting to see whether Kolb in Atlanta can get my insurance to pay for some of the explant. What I have been through has made me hate men and this wicked society. I never would have done it if I wouldn't have been weak and my husband mentioned them but never took the time to look up possible consequences. I guess I was just as wicked focusing too much on looks. I am completely isolated and in a fog all the time, hating life, so I understand needing support. I am also deathly afraid of dying from complications from surgery, ironically. I am so sorry about your mom. Ohhh, I am unable to lose weight and have gained and a lot of days I don't even try to look good. I'm an absolute mess. I don't even want to lose weight because men look then. Sorry for the men bashing.........

From: massageequines@...Date: Wed, 23 Feb 2011 20:00:22 -0800Subject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

Did you have them put in in Phoenix? Just curious. I used Chasby Sacks in Phoenix 20 years ago and have hated him since. He lied, did a crap job and basically poisoned me.The main thing is to take your time to find a good surgeon to take them out, research, do your due diligence and start preparing your body, mind and soul for what you are doing. The healthier you get yourself before a surgery, the better....

Barbara, Winston & Yogi"The greatness of a nation can be judged by the way its animals are treated" GandhiPeace & Kindness in 2011In loving memory of TIRAWA

From: wittahatchit <wittahatchit@...>Subject: Hi! New here and could really use some support Date: Wednesday, February 23, 2011, 12:46 PM

My name is Margie from Phoenix, AZ. I got my implants in 1999 and I've been in a slow decline with my health for the past few years. I feel poisoned. The worst part is that my fiance doesn't even know that I have them, I have gained weight since I got them and they are barely able to even be felt. I have a sad story about how and why I got them and a long list of health ailments as well, far too many for a 32 year old and so far no diagnosis. I'd like to get my implants taken out but don't have the money and have a HUGE fear of surgery. (My mother died a few years ago from surgery complications) But for now I'll start with hello and I'm so glad to meet all of you!

[Guest guest]

Thanks for being so forward and open from NY. I am going through an inferior complex worse than ever. First of all, I didn't think my husband used porn for pleasure as much has he did. I guess I blocked it out. Then I got a few yrs statements from a credit card. It was clear it was a sickness. I say "was" but really "is" but there is proof he did slow down to almost nothing after he got so bad he started talking about God all the time, and has been on that course for 3 yrs now. With him, and like many porn addicts, it progresses. It is because of the numbing of sex with human emotion it enables. Believe me, my husband shows no signs of being inappropriate with sex but he started going to massage parlors. He said he would never do those things and was in shock when he saw that he did that, he said he was in a fog and felt like that was not his reality and didn't know how it had gotten that bad. So, that is the desensitization aspect of it. He also thinks all the meds he was on was part of the numbing emotionally he felt. I kept telling him he needs to get straightened out naturally somehow. He seems like a loving caring family man, always wanting to be with family, but this happened to him. He starts therapy today. Oh, and I know these women you mentioned from Az seem happy because they look perfect.. but I was in a business similar but not as far as porn, I was an exotic dancer 20 yrs ago (rest assured I really changed and hate that lifestyle) and got all the attention, but I was a disaster in many ways. I was so so lost. I dropped out of college, did drugs, alcohol, many men etc. All I wanted was to get married and have a normal life but couldn't trust any man to do it with, then I met my husband and thought I could work on total recovery, and did great for many many years becoming very pro-active positively. Then went through a midlife crisis at 36 and got implants trying to salvage some body image positivity, but that was the final and last disasterous horrah, now this.

OHHHHH, GREAT NEWS FINALLY. My insurance will pay half of the explantion with Kolb. I am so thankful their office worked on it to get it approved. I will have to wait to save and have to check and see how long the approval will be good for. We are in dire straights financially but this is a priority. I still can't believe what a mess my life has become.

A HEARTFELT THANK YOU to those of you who kept mentioning Dr. Kolb during my fogginess and desperation! Penny, , and many others.

From: mamacondon6@...Date: Mon, 7 Mar 2011 16:57:44 -0800Subject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

AZ ,

Hi everyone..I was thinking about this porn thing..and I've never really been for it or against it, I never really thought about how harmful it is. My husband likes to watch it w/ me and I never minded much except now that I think about it,it makes me feel completely inferior!

These women,bless them, are perfect! Many times due to surgery of course, but otherwise , they are young ,thin, pretty, and always available.

You never see a woman that has stretchmarks or a flabby belly from childbirth! They don't have cellulite and saggy boobs from nursing.

They look fabulous all the time!!

I can't compete w/ that..not on my best day and it makes me feel really bad about myself.

I get pissed off that we look at that and in turn think bad things about our own images.

This is where the idea starts that we need to have perky boobs, tummy tucks and lipo...

I hate that my daughter will feel like she has to keep up this standard.

I hate myself for being so vain about my body, instead of embracing my mommy body.

I need to say good things to myself and other women in my life...like "what an amazing thing our bodies can do..grow and feed children!"

My stretch marks are who I am..My gooey belly is from 6 kids that grew inside me..my saggy boobs nourished those same 6 round faced babies and I should be proud not ashamed of my body. Yeah right!

It will take a long time before I believe any of that.And an even longer time before any man wants to see a body like mine on any porn!I'm sorry you are going through such a bad time, I wish I could do more then send you my own rant!

Still waiting on Dr.Kolb..keep praying.

You are beautiful. We all are ,just the way we are.

in NY

From: Inbody <inbo5599@...> Sent: Mon, March 7, 2011 5:03:39 PMSubject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

I had to share this since porn keeps coming up . . .

my ex husbands "free online porn" cost him $90 when he got a virus.

From: Lengyel <tracylengyel@...> Sent: Mon, March 7, 2011 2:56:07 PMSubject: RE: Hi! New here and could really use some support

Yep, around the time I got the implants my husband had given up on sleeping with me. So, I thought, well if he leaves me and it is because he doesn't like being with me, I will feel more confident for someone else! How sick. I am glad to see that our sharing our pain is helping someone from being in the same pain after implantation. NOW... on top of it all, I thought I had the money for explantation with my income tax refund but student loan took the whole 6k!! Yep, killing yourself is exactly it, your smart for learning from other peoples mistakes. Keep up the great work and be very very proud of yourself. My husband is starting a mens group for porn addicts soon, and has finally admitted to himself that he used porn to alleviate stress and like a drug. He said he'd push the issue back in his mind so he didn't have to really 'think' about how it was a problem. It is sad and scary to find out how screwed up your husband is. Life is so hard. And for those out there who think they do those things because we aren't good enough, sexy enough, pretty enough, etc.. for some nothing is enough when your an addict. We put some notification on the computer if someone opens up those sites now.

From: davidtehura@...Date: Fri, 4 Mar 2011 07:49:46 -0800Subject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

wow. is anyone getting my messages?i really relate to this. i have had a boyfreind who stopped sleeping with me and so i was considering IMPLANTS.my breasts are actually fine, but because irecently lost 25 pounds they are less full and kinda fallen SLIGHTLY.what i realized from rading your nte is this-my BF is ALSO A SEX ADDICT. and it is HIS bad behaviour that made me consider implants. thanks to reading all this I am not going to do it. My BREASTS have nothing to do with HIS PROBLEM. If I got implants it would be great for three weeks and then right back AND I WOULD BE KILLING MYSELF

From: Lengyel <tracylengyel@...> Sent: Fri, March 4, 2011 7:28:56 AMSubject: RE: Hi! New here and could really use some support from NY and all... Thanks for sharing the details about the kinds of things that are happening to you mentally. It is very lonely feeling like your losing it, and shameful to tell other people what we are going through because of a vane decision. I also have to stop and think through the confusion,,, what am I doing right now? Sometimes when my daughter is speaking to me and I am not even doing anything, I can't focus on what she is saying. My husband took a very long time to come around to believe the implants made me sick, but got onboard about 3 months ago, finally. I am finally realizing he has severe mental problems. I've been doing much online searching and he has an avoidance personality. Like, when he went to those 2 women for a "massage", his dad was dying and his mom was abusing him and didn't believe HE WAS SICK!!!! We didn't know he had a rare form of blood cancer and couldn't walk and they were living with us at the time and my husbands mom was telling her husband, my husbands father, he wasn't trying because he has a negative attitude. It was clear he was sick but she has this denial avoidance problem too!!!! Then she uses sugar to make her feel good. Sooo, I wallow in my sorrow but I don't use anything and I don't avoid or deny. So a lot of our men may be struggling mentally too. He is acting perfect right now and I'm glad for a little more peace in the surroundings, but I will work on trying to disconnect knowing he can leave me at any moment having these urges and he had a sex addiction he claims he cured when he realized how bad it got with going where he went. I don't wanna offend the others here if they don't wanna hear about spiritual life, but that is what got him under control. I believe this because the "charges stopped" on the credit card at the same point he started talking about going to church about 3 years ago. Then he started pushing to pray before dinner, buying crosses, joined a mens spiritual group and all the signs are there he tried. But the hurt and lack of trust that his troubled mind can go where it did is sickening. Is anyone else going through these things? I am guessing since we made the decision we did to get implants, some of us may have struggled with wanting to increase pleasure... try to fulfill more sexual desires.. try to please ourselves and husbands with our looks... I know I was very much like that. I realize I started this mentality when I was a teenager. I want to be a different person than that. I just want a clear clean conscience. I hope everyone is doing ok today, I wish we could get together also. Hey,,, do the people in Arizona wanna meet for coffee sometime? I have all day and I can drive anywhere... from Az

From: mamacondon6@...Date: Fri, 4 Mar 2011 05:06:34 -0800Subject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

,

I'm so sorry you have to have all these bad things happening at once. It sounds like you could really use a break, I wish I could be there physically for you, I would be happy to help in any way I can! It's impossible to go through everyday sick, let alone deal w/ huge life "stuff" on top of it.

I'm sorry your husband is not supportive right now, and I know how much worrying about our children can drain us, even on good days.

In the brain department, I too, have scary moments. I had a time when I was driving on a two lane country highway and I completely forgot which side of the road I was supposed to be on..it was terrifying..I had my kids in the car and I have been driving for 20+ years! I had to pull over. I waited until another car went past me so I could figure it out.I felt so confused ,like I was loosing my mind. At work they tease me ,because I forget everything, I read something and I can't retain any of it.

I truly feel like I'm unbalanced in my brain sometimes, it scares me. And now I can't talk to my husband about that because he thinks I need serious meds! Or to get put away, "until I'm better".

But when I mention that I think explant surgery will make me better ,he discounts it. I want to scream at him, I feel so trapped, because I need him to help me, but I just want to find someone who will care for me and about me.

Remember there is a physical reason we feel this way.the poison in our chests!Right now it feels like we are in an impossible place..but there is hope..Dr. Kolb, I have not heard back either about insurance....we will get better, we will be our old selves again....we will look back on this time and know it made us stronger and smarter!

Maybe Dr. Kolb will give us a two for one deal if we get it done together!!!hahah

I wish I could help you in AZ, keep typing, everyone here knows what your going through, in every aspect.

Feel my prayers, hugs and support today...good days are ahead.

in NY

From: Lengyel <tracylengyel@...> Sent: Thu, March 3, 2011 11:59:25 PMSubject: RE: Hi! New here and could really use some support

Hi from NY... and all I am really struggling mentally along with everything else. So, I was wondering if you could elaborate on how you are experiencing this. For instance, in my situation, I am having a hard time just thinking clearly, with memory problems, scattered thoughts, confused, hard time concentrating, obsessions, a feeling of loss of control of my life, and a serious feeling of dread. Then the anxiety and fear that I am losing my mind forever comes over me. Sometimes I can't even complete a sentence, like I forget what my point was and don't know how to finish what I'm saying. I sound mentally retarded, then I get angry over it. Sometimes, I wish I could be locked up away from any responsibility of anything so I won't get confused so much. Why would your husband think the answer was putting you in a mental hospital??????? To try to get you stabilized? How sad, ,, and it is poison that is causing it all. And I am not retaining information, especially directions way worse than before the implants. When someone is talking to me I actually blank out for a while and then come to and wonder what they were saying. It's BAD. So, I need to rest from all the struggling mentally and try to just go to sleep and hope to wake up more alive feeling. Sometimes sleep helps. Kolb's office didn't get back yet as to if they got an answer from insurance for explant....and I just moved and found out my husband has been addicted to porn most of our marriage... and even went to asian massage parlors. I just want to die. Ahhh... no wonder he pushed for boobs and I was so weak. I don't feel I can take care of myself and told him that if it is just ok that I just use to be a dad and pay the bills because I'm desperate he can stay around. And that we can have like a business relationship but our marriage bond is broken and over but for my daughter.... we can wait till shes older to make it final because she has been through so much sadness and loss in her life already and she is 13. How sad and dysfunctional. He wants to stay and says he's getting help but I no longer have him for my emotional needs because I am protecting myself. And I thought I had a good guy the last 17 years. from Az

From: mamacondon6@...Date: Thu, 3 Mar 2011 19:42:18 -0800Subject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

Sunny, I am so glad to know that others have experienced the same things....it got so bad recently that my husband thought it would be a good idea if I went away to a hospital in Utah for mentally ill people..in a lock up type facility for at least 30 days...away from my kids ,my life, my work..he almost had me convinced ,along w/ a "helpful" third party, who both kept telling me that I needed to be put away.

This was my moment, I don't know where it came from, because I've been trying for years to figure out why I'm sick...but I had my ah ha moment and I just kept saying "there is a physical reason for my depression, anxiety, brain fog...etc." They were making the arrangements for me to go when out of no where, I got the idea that it could be my implants!

I prayed to God to help me and He listened, the answer came that day....I can't explain it....but I do believe it.

You guys are the best,I won't stop saying it....hopefully, someday I will be able to type a success story here and be helpful to someone else, who is in the same dark place I am now.

I know brighter days are ahead, thanks for carrying me to them...I will promise to repay that kindness. in NY

From: Sun Lee <sunloves@...> Sent: Thu, March 3, 2011 1:14:23 PMSubject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

,

Don't count on men or anyone to understand your situation. Only the women who has gotten sick from the implant will know what we are talking about. You just have to do what it takes to get your health back and help yourself. When I got sick and I researched and determined that it was due to my implants, I discussed this with my boyfriend and he refused to believe me. He kept on saying that I should go to the doctors...I went to so many different doctors and none of them was able to help...and he still said there must be some doctor that could help. Even to this date he keeps saying that implants are safe, approved by FDS after so much research, etc. and that so many women are getting them without problems. He said his ex had it and never got sick from it. He said I must be going through menopause and finally he said it must be mental/psychological. We got into fight everytime we talked about implants so I finally decided not to mention anything about implant to him.

You can vent your frustrations on us because we know exactly what you're going through and every one of us are angry at what has happened...

Thanks

Sunny

From: Condon <mamacondon6@...> Sent: Thu, March 3, 2011 5:16:35 AMSubject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

,

I just feel so disappointed by his behavior, like why can't he just give me the same simple words of encouragement that are so easy for others? Why can't he just share in excitement at finally finding out what's wrong w/ me? Why can't he just tell me it's going to be alright? Sorry ,I just don't understand ,after 20 years of marriage and six kids, what went so wrong? I think this being sick, just takes normal married life ups-n-downs and makes them 100 times worseI'm having a bad week I guess, and it makes me angry because I am elated that I have discovered the cause of my troubles, this is cause for celebration and dancing! And I'm letting his piss poor attitude ruin it for me.

Okay so the beginning of this email was all negative....after venting..thank you very much...I'm feeling better already and will be positive today.

We can do it together..I never want to bring anyone else down.....happiness...it comes from within.

Bless this site, and it's people...it came to me just in the nick of time.

Thank you for listening, in NY

From: Inbody <inbo5599@...> Sent: Wed, March 2, 2011 8:45:26 PMSubject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

Hi ,

Hang in there. My ex was really rude too. He was great if I was healthy but as soon as I got sick it was like "sucks to be you, see ya". I always thought that if you married somebody it was in sickness and health but . . . apparently that's not the case. Oh . . . forgot to mention . . . he loved the implants and was great in the beginning - loved all the looks his wife got etc. but as soon as I got sick . . . you know the rest. Anyway take care, you're not alone, glad you found us, we're here for you, hugs,

From: Lengyel <tracylengyel@...> Sent: Tue, March 1, 2011 11:06:20 PMSubject: RE: Hi! New here and could really use some support Hey Margie, I'm in Phoenix also and these implants ruined my life, health, and marriage. I resent my ignorant immoral husband and can't get over it. Then he refused to believe my implants were the cause of my health problems. He is worthless to me and I am stuck, so sick. Anyway, I have been on an explant consult with Hiatt, Leighton, and am now waiting to see whether Kolb in Atlanta can get my insurance to pay for some of the explant. What I have been through has made me hate men and this wicked society. I never would have done it if I wouldn't have been weak and my husband mentioned them but never took the time to look up possible consequences. I guess I was just as wicked focusing too much on looks. I am completely isolated and in a fog all the time, hating life, so I understand needing support. I am also deathly afraid of dying from complications from surgery, ironically. I am so sorry about your mom. Ohhh, I am unable to lose weight and have gained and a lot of days I don't even try to look good. I'm an absolute mess. I don't even want to lose weight because men look then. Sorry for the men bashing.........

From: massageequines@...Date: Wed, 23 Feb 2011 20:00:22 -0800Subject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

Did you have them put in in Phoenix? Just curious. I used Chasby Sacks in Phoenix 20 years ago and have hated him since. He lied, did a crap job and basically poisoned me.The main thing is to take your time to find a good surgeon to take them out, research, do your due diligence and start preparing your body, mind and soul for what you are doing. The healthier you get yourself before a surgery, the better....

Barbara, Winston & Yogi"The greatness of a nation can be judged by the way its animals are treated" GandhiPeace & Kindness in 2011In loving memory of TIRAWA

From: wittahatchit <wittahatchit@...>Subject: Hi! New here and could really use some support Date: Wednesday, February 23, 2011, 12:46 PM

My name is Margie from Phoenix, AZ. I got my implants in 1999 and I've been in a slow decline with my health for the past few years. I feel poisoned. The worst part is that my fiance doesn't even know that I have them, I have gained weight since I got them and they are barely able to even be felt. I have a sad story about how and why I got them and a long list of health ailments as well, far too many for a 32 year old and so far no diagnosis. I'd like to get my implants taken out but don't have the money and have a HUGE fear of surgery. (My mother died a few years ago from surgery complications) But for now I'll start with hello and I'm so glad to meet all of you!

[Guest guest]

I'm so happy for you about your insurance!!!! Can I ask..how long did it take for Dr. Kolb's office to get back to you? I've been in touch w/ them and I don't want to be a pest, but I wonder if I need to keep after them..or are they still working on it? I really don't want to be a pain because I desperately need their help, but I also don't want them to forget about me.

Your success gives me hope both w/ Dr and your husband, I'm glad he is going to get help, maybe there is hope for mine too.

This is a good day..NY

From: Lengyel <tracylengyel@...> Sent: Wed, March 9, 2011 10:48:18 AMSubject: RE: Hi! New here and could really use some support

Thanks for being so forward and open from NY. I am going through an inferior complex worse than ever. First of all, I didn't think my husband used porn for pleasure as much has he did. I guess I blocked it out. Then I got a few yrs statements from a credit card. It was clear it was a sickness. I say "was" but really "is" but there is proof he did slow down to almost nothing after he got so bad he started talking about God all the time, and has been on that course for 3 yrs now. With him, and like many porn addicts, it progresses. It is because of the numbing of sex with human emotion it enables. Believe me, my husband shows no signs of being inappropriate with sex but he started going to massage parlors. He said he would never do those things and was in shock when he saw that he did that, he said

he was in a fog and felt like that was not his reality and didn't know how it had gotten that bad. So, that is the desensitization aspect of it. He also thinks all the meds he was on was part of the numbing emotionally he felt. I kept telling him he needs to get straightened out naturally somehow. He seems like a loving caring family man, always wanting to be with family, but this happened to him. He starts therapy today. Oh, and I know these women you mentioned from Az seem happy because they look perfect.. but I was in a business similar but not as far as porn, I was an exotic dancer 20 yrs ago (rest assured I really changed and hate that lifestyle) and got all the attention, but I was a disaster in many ways. I was so so lost. I dropped out of college, did drugs, alcohol, many men etc. All I wanted was to get married and have a normal life but couldn't

trust any man to do it with, then I met my husband and thought I could work on total recovery, and did great for many many years becoming very pro-active positively. Then went through a midlife crisis at 36 and got implants trying to salvage some body image positivity, but that was the final and last disasterous horrah, now this. OHHHHH, GREAT NEWS FINALLY. My insurance will pay half of the explantion with Kolb. I am so thankful their office worked on it to get it approved. I will have to wait to save and have to check and see how long the approval will be good for. We are in dire straights financially but this is a priority. I still can't believe what a mess my life has become. A HEARTFELT THANK YOU to those of you who kept mentioning Dr. Kolb during my

fogginess and desperation! Penny, , and many others.

From: mamacondon6@...Date: Mon, 7 Mar 2011 16:57:44 -0800Subject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

AZ ,

Hi everyone..I was thinking about this porn thing..and I've never really been for it or against it, I never really thought about how harmful it is. My husband likes to watch it w/ me and I never minded much except now that I think about it,it makes me feel completely inferior!

These women,bless them, are perfect! Many times due to surgery of course, but otherwise , they are young ,thin, pretty, and always available.

You never see a woman that has stretchmarks or a flabby belly from childbirth! They don't have cellulite and saggy boobs from nursing.

They look fabulous all the time!!

I can't compete w/ that..not on my best day and it makes me feel really bad about myself.

I get pissed off that we look at that and in turn think bad things about our own images.

This is where the idea starts that we need to have perky boobs, tummy tucks and lipo...

I hate that my daughter will feel like she has to keep up this standard.

I hate myself for being so vain about my body, instead of embracing my mommy body.

I need to say good things to myself and other women in my life...like "what an amazing thing our bodies can do..grow and feed children!"

My stretch marks are who I am..My gooey belly is from 6 kids that grew inside me..my saggy boobs nourished those same 6 round faced babies and I should be proud not ashamed of my body. Yeah right!

It will take a long time before I believe any of that.And an even longer time before any man wants to see a body like mine on any porn!I'm sorry you are going through such a bad time, I wish I could do more then send you my own rant!

Still waiting on Dr.Kolb..keep praying.

You are beautiful. We all are ,just the way we are.

in NY

From: Inbody <inbo5599@...> Sent: Mon, March 7, 2011 5:03:39 PMSubject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

I had to share this since porn keeps coming up . . .

my ex husbands "free online porn" cost him $90 when he got a virus.

From: Lengyel <tracylengyel@...> Sent: Mon, March 7, 2011 2:56:07 PMSubject: RE: Hi! New here and could really use some support

Yep, around the time I got the implants my husband had given up on sleeping with me. So, I thought, well if he leaves me and it is because he doesn't like being with me, I will feel more confident for someone else! How sick. I am glad to see that our sharing our pain is helping someone from being in the same pain after implantation. NOW... on top of it all, I thought I had the money for explantation with my income tax refund but student loan took the whole 6k!! Yep, killing yourself is exactly it, your smart for learning from other peoples mistakes. Keep up the great work and be very very proud of yourself. My husband is starting a mens group for porn addicts soon, and has finally admitted to himself that he used porn to alleviate stress and like a drug. He said he'd push the issue back in his mind so he didn't have

to really 'think' about how it was a problem. It is sad and scary to find out how screwed up your husband is. Life is so hard. And for those out there who think they do those things because we aren't good enough, sexy enough, pretty enough, etc.. for some nothing is enough when your an addict. We put some notification on the computer if someone opens up those sites now.

From: davidtehura@...Date: Fri, 4 Mar 2011 07:49:46 -0800Subject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

wow. is anyone getting my messages?i really relate to this. i have had a boyfreind who stopped sleeping with me and so i was considering IMPLANTS.my breasts are actually fine, but because irecently lost 25 pounds they are less full and kinda fallen SLIGHTLY.what i realized from rading your nte is this-my BF is ALSO A SEX ADDICT. and it is HIS bad behaviour that made me consider implants. thanks to reading all this I am not going to do it. My BREASTS have nothing to do with HIS PROBLEM. If I got implants it would be great for three weeks and then right back AND I WOULD BE KILLING MYSELF

From: Lengyel <tracylengyel@...> Sent: Fri, March 4, 2011 7:28:56 AMSubject: RE: Hi! New here and could really use some support from NY and all... Thanks for sharing the details about the kinds of things that are happening to you mentally. It is very lonely feeling like your losing it, and shameful to tell other people what we are going through because of a vane decision. I also have to stop and think through the confusion,,, what am I doing right now? Sometimes when my daughter is speaking to me and I am not even doing anything, I can't focus on what she is

saying. My husband took a very long time to come around to believe the implants made me sick, but got onboard about 3 months ago, finally. I am finally realizing he has severe mental problems. I've been doing much online searching and he has an avoidance personality. Like, when he went to those 2 women for a "massage", his dad was dying and his mom was abusing him and didn't believe HE WAS SICK!!!! We didn't know he had a rare form of blood cancer and couldn't walk and they were living with us at the time and my husbands mom was telling her husband, my husbands father, he wasn't trying because he has a negative attitude. It was clear he was sick but she has this denial avoidance problem too!!!! Then she uses sugar to make her feel good. Sooo, I wallow in my sorrow but I don't use anything and I don't avoid or

deny. So a lot of our men may be struggling mentally too. He is acting perfect right now and I'm glad for a little more peace in the surroundings, but I will work on trying to disconnect knowing he can leave me at any moment having these urges and he had a sex addiction he claims he cured when he realized how bad it got with going where he went. I don't wanna offend the others here if they don't wanna hear about spiritual life, but that is what got him under control. I believe this because the "charges stopped" on the credit card at the same point he started talking about going to church about 3 years ago. Then he started pushing to pray before dinner, buying crosses, joined a mens spiritual group and all the signs are there he tried. But the hurt and lack of trust that his troubled mind can go where it did is sickening. Is anyone else going through these things? I am guessing since we made the decision we

did to get implants, some of us may have struggled with wanting to increase pleasure... try to fulfill more sexual desires.. try to please ourselves and husbands with our looks... I know I was very much like that. I realize I started this mentality when I was a teenager. I want to be a different person than that. I just want a clear clean conscience. I hope everyone is doing ok today, I wish we could get together also. Hey,,, do the people in Arizona wanna meet for coffee sometime? I have all day and I can drive anywhere... from Az

From: mamacondon6@...Date: Fri, 4 Mar 2011 05:06:34 -0800Subject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

,

I'm so sorry you have to have all these bad things happening at once. It sounds like you could really use a break, I wish I could be there physically for you, I would be happy to help in any way I can! It's impossible to go through everyday sick, let alone deal w/ huge life "stuff" on top of it.

I'm sorry your husband is not supportive right now, and I know how much worrying about our children can drain us, even on good days.

In the brain department, I too, have scary moments. I had a time when I was driving on a two lane country highway and I completely forgot which side of the road I was supposed to be on..it was terrifying..I had my kids in the car and I have been driving for 20+ years! I had to pull over. I waited until another car went past me so I could figure it out.I felt so confused ,like I was loosing my mind. At work they tease me ,because I forget everything, I read something and I can't retain any of it.

I truly feel like I'm unbalanced in my brain sometimes, it scares me. And now I can't talk to my husband about that because he thinks I need serious meds! Or to get put away, "until I'm better".

But when I mention that I think explant surgery will make me better ,he discounts it. I want to scream at him, I feel so trapped, because I need him to help me, but I just want to find someone who will care for me and about me.

Remember there is a physical reason we feel this way.the poison in our chests!Right now it feels like we are in an impossible place..but there is hope..Dr. Kolb, I have not heard back either about insurance....we will get better, we will be our old selves again....we will look back on this time and know it made us stronger and smarter!

Maybe Dr. Kolb will give us a two for one deal if we get it done together!!!hahah

I wish I could help you in AZ, keep typing, everyone here knows what your going through, in every aspect.

Feel my prayers, hugs and support today...good days are ahead.

in NY

From: Lengyel <tracylengyel@...> Sent: Thu, March 3, 2011 11:59:25 PMSubject: RE: Hi! New here and could really use some support

Hi from NY... and all I am really struggling mentally along with everything else. So, I was wondering if you could elaborate on how you are experiencing this. For instance, in my situation, I am having a hard time just thinking clearly, with memory problems, scattered thoughts, confused, hard time concentrating, obsessions, a feeling of loss of control of my life, and a serious feeling of dread. Then the anxiety and fear that I am losing my mind forever comes over me. Sometimes I can't even complete a sentence, like I forget what my point was and don't know how to finish what I'm saying. I sound mentally retarded, then I get angry over it. Sometimes, I wish I could be locked up away from any responsibility of anything so I won't get confused so much. Why would

your husband think the answer was putting you in a mental hospital??????? To try to get you stabilized? How sad, ,, and it is poison that is causing it all. And I am not retaining information, especially directions way worse than before the implants. When someone is talking to me I actually blank out for a while and then come to and wonder what they were saying. It's BAD. So, I need to rest from all the struggling mentally and try to just go to sleep and hope to wake up more alive feeling. Sometimes sleep helps. Kolb's office didn't get back yet as to if they got an answer from insurance for explant....and I just moved and found out my husband has been addicted to porn most of our marriage... and even went to asian massage parlors. I just want to die. Ahhh... no wonder he pushed for boobs and I was so weak. I don't feel I can take care of myself and told him that if

it is just ok that I just use to be a dad and pay the bills because I'm desperate he can stay around. And that we can have like a business relationship but our marriage bond is broken and over but for my daughter.... we can wait till shes older to make it final because she has been through so much sadness and loss in her life already and she is 13. How sad and dysfunctional. He wants to stay and says he's getting help but I no longer have him for my emotional needs because I am protecting myself. And I thought I had a good guy the last 17 years. from Az

From: mamacondon6@...Date: Thu, 3 Mar 2011 19:42:18 -0800Subject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

Sunny, I am so glad to know that others have experienced the same things....it got so bad recently that my husband thought it would be a good idea if I went away to a hospital in Utah for mentally ill people..in a lock up type facility for at least 30 days...away from my kids ,my life, my work..he almost had me convinced ,along w/ a "helpful" third party, who both kept telling me that I needed to be put away.

This was my moment, I don't know where it came from, because I've been trying for years to figure out why I'm sick...but I had my ah ha moment and I just kept saying "there is a physical reason for my depression, anxiety, brain fog...etc." They were making the arrangements for me to go when out of no where, I got the idea that it could be my implants!

I prayed to God to help me and He listened, the answer came that day....I can't explain it....but I do believe it.

You guys are the best,I won't stop saying it....hopefully, someday I will be able to type a success story here and be helpful to someone else, who is in the same dark place I am now.

I know brighter days are ahead, thanks for carrying me to them...I will promise to repay that kindness. in NY

From: Sun Lee <sunloves@...> Sent: Thu, March 3, 2011 1:14:23 PMSubject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

,

Don't count on men or anyone to understand your situation. Only the women who has gotten sick from the implant will know what we are talking about. You just have to do what it takes to get your health back and help yourself. When I got sick and I researched and determined that it was due to my implants, I discussed this with my boyfriend and he refused to believe me. He kept on saying that I should go to the doctors...I went to so many different doctors and none of them was able to help...and he still said there must be some doctor that could help. Even to this date he keeps saying that implants are safe, approved by FDS after so much research, etc. and that so many women are getting them without problems. He said his ex had it and never got sick from it. He said I must be going through menopause and finally he said it must be mental/psychological. We got into fight everytime we talked about

implants so I finally decided not to mention anything about implant to him.

You can vent your frustrations on us because we know exactly what you're going through and every one of us are angry at what has happened...

Thanks

Sunny

From: Condon <mamacondon6@...> Sent: Thu, March 3, 2011 5:16:35 AMSubject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

,

I just feel so disappointed by his behavior, like why can't he just give me the same simple words of encouragement that are so easy for others? Why can't he just share in excitement at finally finding out what's wrong w/ me? Why can't he just tell me it's going to be alright? Sorry ,I just don't understand ,after 20 years of marriage and six kids, what went so wrong? I think this being sick, just takes normal married life ups-n-downs and makes them 100 times worseI'm having a bad week I guess, and it makes me angry because I am elated that I have discovered the cause of my troubles, this is cause for celebration and dancing! And I'm letting his piss poor attitude ruin it for me.

Okay so the beginning of this email was all negative....after venting..thank you very much...I'm feeling better already and will be positive today.

We can do it together..I never want to bring anyone else down.....happiness...it comes from within.

Bless this site, and it's people...it came to me just in the nick of time.

Thank you for listening, in NY

From: Inbody <inbo5599@...> Sent: Wed, March 2, 2011 8:45:26 PMSubject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

Hi ,

Hang in there. My ex was really rude too. He was great if I was healthy but as soon as I got sick it was like "sucks to be you, see ya". I always thought that if you married somebody it was in sickness and health but . . . apparently that's not the case. Oh . . . forgot to mention . . . he loved the implants and was great in the beginning - loved all the looks his wife got etc. but as soon as I got sick . . . you know the rest. Anyway take care, you're not alone, glad you found us, we're here for you, hugs,

From: Lengyel <tracylengyel@...> Sent: Tue, March 1, 2011 11:06:20 PMSubject: RE: Hi! New here and could really use some support Hey Margie, I'm in Phoenix also and these implants ruined my life, health, and marriage. I resent my ignorant immoral husband and can't get over it. Then he refused to believe my implants were the cause of my health problems. He is worthless to me and I am stuck, so sick. Anyway, I have been on an explant consult with Hiatt, Leighton, and am now waiting to see whether Kolb in Atlanta can get my insurance to pay for some of the explant. What I have been through has made me hate men and this wicked society. I never would have done it if I wouldn't have been weak and my husband mentioned them but never took the time to look up possible consequences. I guess I was just as wicked focusing too much on looks. I am completely isolated and in a fog all the time, hating life, so I understand needing support. I

am also deathly afraid of dying from complications from surgery, ironically. I am so sorry about your mom. Ohhh, I am unable to lose weight and have gained and a lot of days I don't even try to look good. I'm an absolute mess. I don't even want to lose weight because men look then. Sorry for the men bashing.........

From: massageequines@...Date: Wed, 23 Feb 2011 20:00:22 -0800Subject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

Did you have them put in in Phoenix? Just curious. I used Chasby Sacks in Phoenix 20 years ago and have hated him since. He lied, did a crap job and basically poisoned me.The main thing is to take your time to find a good surgeon to take them out, research, do your due diligence and start preparing your body, mind and soul for what you are doing. The healthier you get yourself before a surgery, the better....

Barbara, Winston & Yogi"The greatness of a nation can be judged by the way its animals are treated" GandhiPeace & Kindness in 2011In loving memory of TIRAWA

From: wittahatchit <wittahatchit@...>Subject: Hi! New here and could really use some support Date: Wednesday, February 23, 2011, 12:46 PM

My name is Margie from Phoenix, AZ. I got my implants in 1999 and I've been in a slow decline with my health for the past few years. I feel poisoned. The worst part is that my fiance doesn't even know that I have them, I have gained weight since I got them and they are barely able to even be felt. I have a sad story about how and why I got them and a long list of health ailments as well, far too many for a 32 year old and so far no diagnosis. I'd like to get my implants taken out but don't have the money and have a HUGE fear of surgery. (My mother died a few years ago from surgery complications) But for now I'll start with hello and I'm so glad to meet all of you!