ceep's Book of Revelation about mean women (long)

October 30, 2002

In a message dated 10/30/02 7:35:28 AM, Graduate-OSSG writes:

<< Some patients, by virtue

of luck, surgical procedure, or discipline have phenomenal success. Some of

those are arrogant and condescending. Some patients, not so lucky, not so

malabsorbing, not so disciplined never get close to goal. Some of those are

angry and lashing out like wounded bears. My feelings have been seriously

hurt by folks from both camps this week. I hope we don't have a " class war. "

By far the most shocking thing I've seen over the last year is on a couple of

different " support " groups, there have been women who have lost 150 pounds

and then referred to other women as fat, ugly, stupid, bitches, etc.....When

called on it, those women declared that any fat woman was undesirable to

anyone, and other ignorant babbling. The majority of the group just sat

silent, I could not tell if in shock, silent agreement, or shame.>>>>>>>>

********Dear : just two cent's worth of observation politically over the

years: a woman (or women) remaining silent during a harsh situation almost

NEVER means she agrees. Women's silence almost never mean they agree with

what it being said in cruelty. It more so often means they are shocked and

cannot think of what to say right now. That the words are trying to come.

That they are trying to think of what can help and cannot think of anything

right this second. That they will think up something later, a good thing to

have said,. But they may never say it , for the moment has passed, and most

are peacemakers and do not want to raise a storm for no good reason.

However, IF there is a next time, they might be better prepared to say their

piece. It takes courage to stand up to cruelty, and to stand up to the kind

of classism you are describing. But, I think it is worth it, and more so

because often people do not realize they are doing what they are doing until

you show them as kindly as you can, (one by one and in private to begin

with), AND then they have a chance to see for themselves. Then they have a

chance to change it if they will. They also have a right to continue as is.

Then you also have a choice about remaining silent, becoming a kind but

squeaky wheel, or distancing yourself from that person. (burying them in the

garden is all right to think about but not to do in reality--grin)

From ceep's book of revelation: REMEMBER THIS; WHAT WAS NOT WORKED OUT IN

HIGH SCHOOL DRAGS ALONG BEHIND EVERYONE LIKE SHIT ON THE TAIL OF A WOLF. 95%

OF THE ILL AND CRUEL BEHAVIOR YOU SEE IN THE WORLD CAN BE ATTRIBUTED TO

TRYING TO OVERCOME SOME KIND OF HIGH SCHOOL TRAUMA OR TO KEEP ON SOLIDIFYING

ONE " S HIGH SCHOOL POSITION IN THE PECKING ORDER. (IT AIN " T ROCKET SCIENCE.

MOST PEOPLE THINK EVERYONE ELSE IS BLIND AND CAN'T SEE WHAT UNDERGIRDS THEM.

WE AREN " T. AND WE CAN. and you can tell em ceep said so.

(and don't be flaming me for using humorous reference to the bible structure

in my posts, I am a devout Catholic, and Catholics have a genetic sense of

humor built in about their faith. it's you know, " like da family, " as long as

its us joking about ourselves, it's all right, but if its someone else

holding us out to be ridiculed or threatened, then that's another cookie

altogether....grin)

Just to speak for myself: I think anyone should be able to crow about

anything that makes them happy. If that's a number on the scale or the tape

measure, so be it. If you wear a size 8, that for some, is a wild dream come

true. It really must feel like winning the lottery in a way. I want very much

to be happy for others' happiness (I too wear a size 8, it's just that I need

one for each side of my body--equaling a 16--grin)I would like people to find

happiness that is imperishable. Thusly, by my pitiful sights, a happy woman

is not a cruel woman (except possibly once in a while when her hormones and

typhoon Martha hit all at the same time after which she is properly

apologetic). Nor an anxiety ridden one. That is not what happiness is made

of. It is made of peacefulness. Happiness that has realness to it, LASTS.

From ceep's book of revelation: JUST REMEMBER THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN EGO

HAPPINESS AND SOUL HAPPINESS; THINK OF FINDING A DOLLAR BILL ON THE GROUND.

WOW! NOW, THINK OF SEEING A CHILD BE BORN TO PARENTS WHO HAVE WAITED SO LONG

TO HAVE A CHILD IN THEIR LIVES. EGO. SOUL. VERY DIFFERENT. ONE IS OF THE

GIDDY PRESENT, ONE IS of THE FOREVER. THE POINT IS TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE

BETWEEN THE TWO, because one sustains and one is a blip on the psyche's

screen. And you can tell em ceep said so.

Just relating back to your experience at the meeting. Consider this about

some women and men caught in the syndrome of how thin, small, successful,

tall, smart (oh you name it, there are so many ways to get taken up and

become obsessed in this culture) , etc., they are. The culture plays 'lets

you and him fight' all the time. The culture sets up people to be punished

and rewarded if only they will do this and not that. Whatever it is.

Whenever one buys into one side of a " norm " one has to be careful, has to

ask, IN ADVANCE, if this truly brings happiness, will I be encouraged to look

down my nose at others? Will I be ostracized by the " in group " if I vary from

their tenets? Will finding this joy in life make me a bigger soul?-- or only

a more nervous one (with privileges)?

Doesn't 'being happy with' make you more generous, merciful, sincere,

instead of more anxiety-ridden, more critical and cruel toward self and

others, more limited in your view of the beauty of creation? The answer I

know about is yes, being more happy and more content makes people who feel

these -- kinder and more insightful -- and more tired, I might add, of

whatever is being touted as the latest and greatest but does not serve the

spirit, the soul or the heart. Ego alone is not supposed to choose everything

in life, especially as one becomes wiser and more interested in being ser

humano, a full human being. Have ALL of life, but make sure you take the most

nourishing and most farsighted too along with all of whatever else you

pursue.

>>>>>> if I get a choice, I'd like to be thin AND nice .

B>>>>>>

******* The 'thinner' part is between you and you, but you could hardly be

nicer than you already seem to be.

This all truly is JMHO from holding souls who have lost their ways, from

watching and living in the cultural cesspool, from finding the thousand kinds

of beauty that truly DO exist in this fabulous world, from falling down and

having plenty of glaring, blaring faults, and from touching, once in while,

on what is truly holy that has deigned to come visit me.

I realize that mileage for others may vary.

love,

ceep G-MOM

........who shall wear black leather and high heel boots with silver ankle

jewelry no matter what size she is ......(evil ceep made me write that last

part).

October 30, 2002

ceep,

you have such a gift in being able to express things that I didn't even know

I wanted, but needed to hear and to say. thank you for your time, attention to,

and therapy for this list. we probably don't say it enough, but we (or I anyway)

appreciate you. after many hours of journaling, counseling, tears, anger and

finally relief, I can say that I no longer harbor ill-feelings toward the people

who discriminate and stare and comment on obesity, instead, I just feel sorry

for their ignorance, and hope and pray that they will one day be able to realize

that we are all people who put our pants on one leg at a time. no one is any

better than any one else. their mean-ness is only a cover for their own feelings

of inept-ness. It is easier to pity them. (and feels better too)

doc carolyn

(who may someday like to wear leather and party with ceep--don't tell my hubby

or he'll want to come along!)