Guest guest Posted April 4, 2000 Report Share Posted April 4, 2000 Gail, I have done silly things like that myself when I am in a hurry. Oh I'm glad that you weren't hurt! Thanks, Michele Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 2, 2000 Report Share Posted May 2, 2000 LMAO - Dusty this is brilliant! Hahahaha.... Love it! ___________________________________ *Medical Resources and Support*http://www.elderwyn.com/medicallinks *Aisha Elderwyn*http://www.elderwyn.com/aisha Funny > There was a blonde woman who was having financial troubles so she> decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom.>> She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree> and wrote this note. "I have kidnapped your child. Leave $10,000 in a> plain> brown bag behind the big oak tree in the park tomorrow at 7 AM. Signed,> The Blonde" She pinned the note inside the boys jacket and told him to go>> straight home.>> The next morning, she returned to the park to find the $10,000 in a> brown bag, behind the big oak tree, just as she had instructed. Also> inside> the bag was the following note...>> "Here is your money. I cannot believe that one blonde would do this to> another!">> --> -----------------------------------------------------> Click here for Free Video!!> http://www.gohip.com/freevideo/------------------------------------------------------------------------Avoid the lines and visit avis.com for quick and easy online reservations. Enjoy a compact car nationwide for only $29 a day! Click here for more details.1/3011/3/_/817445/_/957292304/------------------------------------------------------------------------The Being Sick Members Lounge.....* FREE counselling via email* Daily Horoscopes* FREE psychic/tarot readings via email* Daily cartoons* Members Profiles, locations and birthdays* DAILY LIVE CHAT!!* Medical Resources, and more.... http://www.elderwyn.com/members ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~"There will always be people who are better off and worse off then you. This makes no difference to how you are feeling. You are the only one who feels as you do, and you have every right to be negative or upset when you are ill, injured, disabled, or caring for someone who is. Being sick sucks. No one deserves being sick. It is not fair." - Aisha Elderwyn.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Your subscription details/mygroupsProudly sponsored by Elderwyn Managementhttp://www.elderwyn.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 2, 2000 Report Share Posted November 2, 2000 Joke. ( hope you dont get offended.) Melinda - > >> >>It's the Spring of 1957 and Bobby goes to pick up >> his date, Peggy Sue. >> Bobby's a pretty hip guy with his own car and a >> ducktail hairdo. >> When he goes to the front door, Peggy Sue's father >>answers and invites >>him in. >> " Peggy Sue's not ready yet, so why don't you have >>a seat? " he says. >> " That's cool. " says Bobby. >>Peggy Sue's father asks Bobby what they are >>planning to do. >>Bobby replies politely that they will probably >>just go to the malt shop >>or to a drive-in movie. >>Peggy Sue's father responds, " Why don't you kids >>go out and screw? I >> hear all of the kids are doing it. " >> Naturally this comes as quite a surprise to Bobby >> and he says " Whaaaat? " >> " Yeah, " says Peggy Sue's father, " Peggy Sue really >> likes to screw. >> She'll screw all night if we let her. " >> Bobby's eyes light up and he smiles from ear to >> ear. >> Immediately, he has revised the plans for the >> evening. >> A few minutes later, Peggy Sue comes downstairs in >> her little poodle >> skirt with her saddle shoes and announces that >> she's ready to go. >> Almost breathless with anticipation, Bobby escorts >> his date out the >> front >> door while dad is saying " Have a good evening >> " kids, " with a wink. >> About 20 minutes later, a thoroughly disheveled >> Peggy Sue rushes back >> Into the house, slams the door behind her and >> screams at her father: >> 'DAMMIT DADDY! THE TWIST!!!!! IT'S CALLED THE >> TWIST!!!!! " >> > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 3, 2000 Report Share Posted November 3, 2000 OMG Mel!! This is sooo funny!! Thanks for sharing. *hugs* Sprague wrote: > Joke. ( hope you dont get offended.) > Melinda > - > > > > >> > >>It's the Spring of 1957 and Bobby goes to pick up > >> his date, Peggy Sue. > >> Bobby's a pretty hip guy with his own car and a > >> ducktail hairdo. > >> When he goes to the front door, Peggy Sue's father > >>answers and invites > >>him in. > >> " Peggy Sue's not ready yet, so why don't you have > >>a seat? " he says. > >> " That's cool. " says Bobby. > >>Peggy Sue's father asks Bobby what they are > >>planning to do. > >>Bobby replies politely that they will probably > >>just go to the malt shop > >>or to a drive-in movie. > >>Peggy Sue's father responds, " Why don't you kids > >>go out and screw? I > >> hear all of the kids are doing it. " > >> Naturally this comes as quite a surprise to Bobby > >> and he says " Whaaaat? " > >> " Yeah, " says Peggy Sue's father, " Peggy Sue really > >> likes to screw. > >> She'll screw all night if we let her. " > >> Bobby's eyes light up and he smiles from ear to > >> ear. > >> Immediately, he has revised the plans for the > >> evening. > >> A few minutes later, Peggy Sue comes downstairs in > >> her little poodle > >> skirt with her saddle shoes and announces that > >> she's ready to go. > >> Almost breathless with anticipation, Bobby escorts > >> his date out the > >> front > >> door while dad is saying " Have a good evening > >> " kids, " with a wink. > >> About 20 minutes later, a thoroughly disheveled > >> Peggy Sue rushes back > >> Into the house, slams the door behind her and > >> screams at her father: > >> 'DAMMIT DADDY! THE TWIST!!!!! IT'S CALLED THE > >> TWIST!!!!! " > >> > > > > > > > > The Being Sick Community > > Visual problems with colors? > Click the link below and select the modify link to your right. Then select the **Send Plain Text Email** option. This will stop you receiving emails with colored or enlarged fonts. > > > Members Lounge:- > Photo Album, memorial page, members profiles, birthdays, locations, medical resources, counselling via email, and a whole bunch of free things. > http://www.elderwyn.com/members > > Message Archives and Digest Attachment Pictures:- > messages/ > > Chat:- > Scheduled Daily Chats at # on IRC DALnet. > chat.html > > Sharing our resources:- > Add a website URL you have found useful. > > > Personal Complaints or problems:- > Please contact a moderator should you require assistance with anything technical or if you are upset by another. The email address for the moderators is <-owneregroups> > > Subscription Details:- > 1) Individual email - means that every email sent to the list you receive. > 2) Daily Digest - sends you 25 messages in one single email for you to browse. This is an excellent option if you receive alot of email. > 3) Web only/No mail - means that you can pop into eGroups at your convenience and receive no email. > To modify your subscription settings please visit mygroups > > To subscribe or unsubscribe > subscribe/ > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > “Hold on to what is good, even if it's a handful of earth. Hold on to what you believe, even if it's a tree that stands by itself. Hold on to what you must do even, if it's a long way from here. Hold on to your life, even if it's easier to let go. " - Pueblo Prayer Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 13, 2000 Report Share Posted December 13, 2000 Hia to all, How is everyone doing? I have been absent as of latley considering the bakery is insane, and I had the flu. Oh something funny happened to me. I went to my niece’s wedding, with the cakes in tow of course. And I was spending a lot of time in the bathroom with my youngest daughter, she had the flu. And two women said "nice dress, I love those beads.." I said oh thanks, the beads kind of camouflage the bumps and buldges.. She said oh honey you don't have any bumps and bludges!!!! Wow was I walking on cloud 9. I have never had people look at me and want to be where I am. (I mean size wise)... That made my whole month... I may have no overeating problems at all this whole month... And of course off to the gym for a new start on my exercise program.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 13, 2000 Report Share Posted December 13, 2000 way to go .....big smiles.....Z Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 6, 2001 Report Share Posted February 6, 2001 > http://www.stumptuous.com/crap.html Hmm . . . now I'm not entirely surprised that it would be Deus posting something like this, since he tends to go against the grain of a lot of nutrition/fitness-related opinions. :-) However, there's something at that site that's considered crap even though anybody doing BFL is greatly into it: " HIT, or High Intensity Training. Actually this isn't complete crap. But from the way its adherents act, you'd think it was the only training system in the world that ever worked. Think about this. Not a single elite level powerlifter or Olympic athlete uses this system. The world-renowned sports scientists in Eastern Europe wouldn't touch it with someone else's ten-foot pole. Every time I get mail from HIT adherents, it's ten pages long and filled with Ayn Rand references and bizarre cultish rantings about subjectivity. You do not need to work to complete failure to make progress in strength or mass gain. High-level strength athletes, especially Olympic lifters, do not ever train to failure, but rather plan to execute and complete a specific number of reps in good form. Nobody would accuse them of not achieving their full strength potential. HIT isn't so bad if you just need a temporary change from your regular routine, but it isn't the best system, and it isn't the only system. " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 6, 2001 Report Share Posted February 6, 2001 In a message dated 2/6/01 12:43:21 PM Eastern Standard Time, "Grace & Peace" < prestonjulia@...> writes: i burned 500 cal. in 20 mins yesterday...did I over or under do it? And what is the best work out for HIIT besides....running? How did you calculate your calorie burn rate? What were you doing? You'd have to be running at least 5 miles per hour, and weigh over 220 lbs, to burn at that rate. a "In the evening of life, we will be judged on love alone." - St. of the Cross Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 6, 2001 Report Share Posted February 6, 2001 neo-reality@... [neo-reality@...] wrote: > > > http://www.stumptuous.com/crap.html > > Hmm . . . now I'm not entirely surprised that it would be Deus posting > something like this, since he tends to go against the grain of a lot > of nutrition/fitness-related opinions. :-) However, there's something > at that site that's considered crap even though anybody doing BFL is > greatly into it: your confusing HIT with HIIT. Deus Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 6, 2001 Report Share Posted February 6, 2001 HIT (high intensity training) is generally known as fewer reps and sets of higher weights to failure. The range varies based upon which " Hitter " expert you read. Check out http://www.cyberpump.com Many of the principles are incorporated into BFL. Some would argue that BFL uses too many reps and sets and does not incorporate enough rest time between training days for the same muscle group. Just illustrates that there are more ways to skin a cat. Much of the inside change in BFL and goal setting and crossing the abyss can be applied to HIT. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 6, 2001 Report Share Posted February 6, 2001 If you reached your high point and sustained it without gasping you burned just enough. The 500 is irrelevant. Some doctors would say running is the worst exercise for aerobics and walking or swimming much better. I only occasionally run because it is high impact and instead use the step mill, Stairmaster, bicycle, or elliptical trainer. Rowing, the Nordic track, Tae Bo, jumping rope, vertical climbers spinning, all are great. Running is fine if you don't wreck knees, ankles, feet etc. from the repetitive impact. At 6'5 " I don't seem to have the best body for running, but still enjoy it. At about mile 4 or 5 my knees start hurting though. Kit Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 7, 2001 Report Share Posted February 7, 2001 Thanks, Kit. Personally, I *despise* running. :-) I find rowing to be a good workout; I'm just exhausted afterwards. Tell me, if I just want to do a *moderate* aerobic sometimes (like on day 7, not during the 6 days of the BFL), how many calories should I aim to burn off in order to make it worth my time? I'm looking for some sort of goal. Sometimes it's kinda cool to sit on one of those recliner bikes and read a good book while you're churning the pedals. :-) Thanks again, Andy > If you reached your high point and sustained it without gasping you burned > just enough. The 500 is irrelevant. Some doctors would say running is the > worst exercise for aerobics and walking or swimming much better. I only > occasionally run because it is high impact and instead use the step mill, > Stairmaster, bicycle, or elliptical trainer. Rowing, the Nordic track, Tae > Bo, jumping rope, vertical climbers spinning, all are great. Running is > fine if you don't wreck knees, ankles, feet etc. from the repetitive impact. > At 6'5 " I don't seem to have the best body for running, but still enjoy it. > At about mile 4 or 5 my knees start hurting though. Kit Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 7, 2001 Report Share Posted February 7, 2001 Try for a relatively moderate pace and get as many calories in as you can in 20-40 minutes. It is the time you should look at and use what you would set as a 6 or 7 as your intensity. Each machine is different and none are accurate in my opinion. Increased weight plugged into the program increases your calorie count. There is no answer to your question in other words. Next time choose a machine and an intensity level that approximates a 6 or 7 for you and see what you burn in the time you want. Personally I have focused on 30-40 minutes at one time when I was doing extra cardio, but in my opinion 10 or 15 is not too little and a walk outside is a great additional aerobic session. In the summer many times I'll walk at lunch for 45-50 minutes. Kit Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 3, 2001 Report Share Posted September 3, 2001 > [Original Message] > From: Maureen Mccaffrey <osei@...> > Lyn <monee101@...> > Date: 9/3/01 10:45:46 PM > Subject: RE: Funny > > My daughter also insists on knowing what you did in the bathroom. If you don't answer her she calls out all the possible activities (if you get my drift). > If you make the mistake of bending over in front of her, she say " Nice butt mommy " . I always say " thanks " since no one else thinks so...... > > > > [Original Message] > > From: Lyn <monee101@...> > > <Autism_in_Girls > > > Date: 9/4/01 1:00:26 AM > > Subject: Funny > > > > I had to share... we went out to dinner with both girls the other > > ngiht and after returnign from the bathroom with the 2 year old, > > Siarra insists on knowing what Alannah accomplished in the bathroom, > > if you get my drift... anyway as embarrassing as that is while others > > I eating I got her to be quiet until Daddy returned from the bathroom > > and Siarra very loudly asks, " hey daddy, did you do that thing with > > your (insert proper name of male anatomy here)? " I was mortified and > > screamed she had better shut up. She later asked if daddy had been > > squeezing his ... so that the pee pee would come out... Just had to > > share I got such a laugh out of it. Daddy is still embarrassed > > though! LOL! > > > > Lyn > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 5, 2001 Report Share Posted September 5, 2001 I think they did!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 5, 2001 Report Share Posted September 5, 2001 Yeah right, to advertise interferon and get all the sides, you'd need to pop in a vcr tape to record it........ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 5, 2001 Report Share Posted September 5, 2001 I don't know, do you see those drug commercials where they have to put the aside, " could cause this or that " . They would have to have a 30 minute infomercial just to advertise... --- VicLea227@... wrote: > Hey, I just got an e-mail stating you can lose 20 > lbs in two months. Do ya > think those weight-watchers got a hold of some > interferon? > > > __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 25, 2002 Report Share Posted January 25, 2002 LOL. What is this?? Our kids having typical kid behavior?? loves exercise videos for that very reason. Elaine Funny > This morning our 11 year old was heard giggling in his room.Upon > a peek around the doorway of his room,it was discovered found the > new J C Penney catalog and had it opened to the young womens underwear > section. went in there and told > him what his favorites parts were (the chest ) and made boy comments > about other parts. He is giggling now over a girl in a light blue > bikini. cracked up and said " Watch out girls " . > He did something really sweet last night.Kristi has the flu and stayed > home from school yesterday. is very close to Kristi. They are > seven months apart.After school yesterday he came to me and said " Mom > Kristi is really sick.Can we get a get well card for her " ? Some cards > came in the mail yesterday from the guidepost.One of them was a nice get > well card. He filled it out from all of us and gave it to her.It was so > sweet.She gave him a big hug and you could tell it made her feel good. > Ah kids,gotta love 'em. wife of mom to 11(ds) Kristi > 11 (ds) 9 (ds) and (4) Cry of the Cat syndrome > > > > Click reply to all for messages to go to the list. Just hit reply for messages to go to the sender of the message. > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 31, 2002 Report Share Posted January 31, 2002 Gotta love this one!! LOL! Bert. : ) > > > > An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all thatthe> > > > "accident of evolution" had created. "What majestic trees! What> powerful> > > > rivers! What beautiful animals" he said to himself.> > > > As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the> > >bushes> > > > behind him.> > > > He turned to look. He saw an 8-foot grizzly charge towards him!> > > >> > > > He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his> > > > shoulder and saw that the bear was closing. He ran even faster, so> > >scared> > > > that the> > > > tears were coming to his eyes. He looked over his shoulder again,and> > >the> > > > bear was even closer. His heart was pumping frantically and he tried> to> > > > run even faster.> > > >> > > > He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himselfup,> > >but> > > > saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him with his leftpaw> to> > > > strike him. At that instant the Atheist cried out "Oh my GOD!"> > > > Time stopped.> > > > The bear froze.> > > > The forest was silent.> > > > Even the river stopped moving.> > > > As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came from the sky:> > > > "YOU DENY MY EXISTENCE FOR ALL THESE YEARS, TEACH OTHERS THAT IDON'T> > > > EXIST, AND EVEN CREDIT CREATION TO A COSMIC ACCIDENT. DO YOU EXPECTME> > >TO> > > > HELP YOU OUT OF THIS PREDICAMENT? AM I TO COUNT ON YOU AS ABELIEVER?"> > > > The Atheist looked directly into the light: "It would behypocritical> > >to> > > > ask to be a Christian after all these years, but perhaps you could> make> > > > the bear a Christian"> > > >> > > > "VERY WELL." said the voice.> > > > Then the light went out.> > > > The river ran again.> > > > And the sounds of the forest resumed.> > > > And then the bear dropped his left paw................ brought both> > >paws> > > > together............ bowed his head and spoke: "LORD, I am truly> > >thankful,> > > > for this food which I am about to receive. Amen.">>Get more from the Web. FREE MSN Explorer download : http://explorer.msn.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 22, 2002 Report Share Posted March 22, 2002 lolol yes they did lolol wondering if they took andy with them Robbin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 22, 2002 Report Share Posted March 22, 2002 went to the site,theyve gone fishen,and they didnt take me with them,some nerve Robbin40@... wrote: > hi group > go to www.yall.com > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 21, 2002 Report Share Posted April 21, 2002 a wee bit of humor for all you good folks in this group..... bob in pa > The After Life > > A couple made a deal that whoever died first would > come back and > inform the other of the after life. The woman's > biggest fear was > that there was no heaven. After a long life the > husband was the > first to go and true to his word he made contact. > > " ... .... " > > " Is that you Fred? " > > " Yes, I have come back like we agreed. " > > " What is it like? " > > " Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex, I have > breakfast, I > have sex, I bathe in the sun, then I have sex-twice, > I have > lunch, then sex pretty much all > afternoon-supper-then sex till > late at night, sleep then start all over again. " > > " Oh Fred you surely must be in heaven. " > > " Hell no, I'm a rabbit in Kansas. " > > Langrehr __________________________________ TI WW Communication Services, Dallas TX Project Coordinator 214-480-7928 (fax) 972-761-5145 langrehr@... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 8, 2002 Report Share Posted May 8, 2002 ROTFL We here up in Canada, tend to speak a mixture of American English and British English but tend to write the words in the British tradition. Besides I am a Welshman, those Brit's can spell anyway they want and it will never be right. OK. Don't anybody get their shirt in a knot, this is meant to be funny as the title says. Nobody could ever understand Welsh Gaelic, too many consonants. +Dave (Dewi) (Daffydd) (Dewi being the Welsh diminutive of Daffydd) AS/RS/RA/PA/Parkinson's/CML (in remission at the moment) Older than dirt. --- Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free. Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com). Version: 6.0.351 / Virus Database: 197 - Release Date: 21/04/2002 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 8, 2002 Report Share Posted May 8, 2002 Hmmm..., if you're a Welshman then I must be an Englishman, both of us should be Brit's and neither of us can spell American. If this goes on there must be an even chance of even seeing Dave spending his evenings evening out his mound of old dirt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 13, 2002 Report Share Posted October 13, 2002 Fw: FUNNY > A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from hername> plate that the teller's name is Whack. So, he says, "Mrs. Whack,I'd> like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation."> Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow.> The frog says "$30,000."> The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger,> his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it is OK, he knows the bank manager.> Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that hewill> need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he hasanything> he can use as collateral.> The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny pink porcelain> elephant, about half an inch tall. Bright pink and perfectly formed.> Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to consult with the manager> and disappears into a back office.> She finds the manager and says: "There is a frog called Kermit Jagger out> there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000. And he wants touse> this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, whatthe> heck is this?">> (are you ready?)>>> (are you sure?)>>> (you're gonna hate me!)>> The bank manager looks back at her and says "It's a knick knack, PattiWhack.> Give the frog a loan. His old man's a rolling stone."> ---Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).Version: 6.0.391 / Virus Database: 222 - Release Date: 9/19/02 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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