Re: Re: update and thank you Bev

[Guest guest]

Hi Bev.. not going to have the surgery. This doc can't do improvising he knows how to do and work with what he has there.. anything off the grid and he's lost.. so it's off.. I'm casually looking into some other options. I'm presently checking to see what my insurance will cover for out of state care if I need to go that route. Part of why I was so depressed and feeling crummy (not writing in) was the accumulations of problems without workable solutions. Sometimes we just need a break from thinking about dealing with all these illness related issues. Right, I need a vacation from myself!! I had gone into so many buildings since before Christmas because of the leg, and have been sick as a "dog" sorry to all the poochie lovers.. I'm one too . Anyway, for now, taking a mental vacation from me and my health issues as far as anything

that requires going into buildings.

But I do have some good news. I never mentioned it before, but about two years ago, I had developed a severe vertigo attack going over a high bridge here twice. Thankfully I wasn't driving either time.. So for a while I didn't go over that bridge which was a problem. Anyway, I really developed a terrible fear of going over it after that. (gee I wonder why). To make a long story short, I've been doing some behavior modification techniques on myself and finally the last two days I went over and was alright. I haven't had a vertigo attack in a long time, so it had become an issue of conquering the fear. I can't tell you how terrifying those attack were. If I had been driving I would have gone off the bridge!!.. or God forbid hurt someone. Whatever I was dealing with neurologically at the time I hope doesn't come back. The fear is there, but I shoved through it. Was very

liberating So a little celebrating here (quietly) tonight.

Hugs,

There would be nothing to frighten you if you refused to be afraid. Gandhi

From: "moodynomad@..." <moodynomad@...> Sent: Thu, February 17, 2011 9:25:50 PMSubject: Re: Re: CoenzymeQ10 and explant surgeon update

! hugs to you too sister I've been thinking about you ...i'm sorry about your rough patch. any luck with a dr not using chemicals? are you going to have surgery soon or did you ? sending you healing-

bev---------- Original Message ----------From: Natural Medicine <natmedgal@...> Subject: Re: Re: CoenzymeQ10 and explant surgeon updateDate: Thu, 17 Feb 2011 18:16:55 -0800 (PST)

Hi Bev,

I haven't been writing much, been a rough patch (again). Anyway, just wanted to send a hug via cyberspace.. I could so identify with your fight for wellness and the struggles. Our poor bodies indeed.. Keep up the good fight!

Hugs,

There would be nothing to frighten you if you refused to be afraid. Gandhi

[Guest guest]

- 1st of all, I'm sorry but you made me laugh when you said you need a vacation from yourself! I've totally felt that way at times...i think it's hard not to feel that way when something consumes your life. but as we all know, we makie the best of what we've got. i'm sorry you haven't had luck with the leg dr's i was afraid of that. yes anything off the grid doesn't exist for most. and we are for sure off the charts. i think each one of us could be an alternative dr or at least a really great assistant. But as for the bridge- that's wonderful! that IS somehting to celebrate! conquering those built up fears is huge. I have some that have developed with this illness and they can be debilitating! it's ridiculous. many of the girls i've talked to with breast implant illness do have anxiety/fears that come up for sure. but after a vertigo attack on a bridge, yah that would be terrifying. can you share some behavior modification techniques you used? i hope you're getting lots of fresh air and feeling a bit better.hugs,bev----- Re: Re: CoenzymeQ10 and explant surgeon update ! hugs to you too sister I've been thinking about you ...i'm sorry about your rough patch. any luck with a dr not using chemicals? are you going to have surgery soon or did you ? sending you healing-bev---------- Original Message ----------From: Natural Medicine <natmedgal@...> Subject: Re: Re: CoenzymeQ10 and explant surgeon updateDate: Thu, 17 Feb 2011 18:16:55 -0800 (PST)Hi Bev, I haven't been writing much, been a rough patch (again). Anyway, just wanted to send a hug via cyberspace.. I could so identify with your fight for wellness and the struggles. Our poor bodies indeed.. Keep up the good fight! Hugs, There would be nothing to frighten you if you refused to be afraid. Gandhi

____________________________________________________________$65/Hr Job - 25 OpeningsPart-Time job ($20-$65/hr). Requirements: Home Internet AccessChannel11NewsReport.com

[Guest guest]

Hi Bev,

Sorry it's taken me a while to write back, I'm going through a rough patch. Too much going on, so not being able to keep up with the posts. Tonight going through them. After the 2nd attack which happened after the first one, I wouldn't even go over the bridge for a while at all. Even on the 3rd floor patio of a building I couldn't handle it for a while. According to my doctor, I wasn't getting enough O2 to my brain. As that situation started to clear up.. and I felt better I took safe baby steps... and I always focused on the line.. not looking over the sides. My husband drove over with me in the car, and I would hold an object (in this case a game on my iphone).. not looking up...staying centered on that. Once a few times I got over the bridge after that without the vertigo attacks.. then I graduated to walking over the bridge. Getting past

this part was very important since it proved I could get to that height without the oxygen deprivation. I didn't do the car ride or walk over till I was feeling ok (brain wise). After I could walk over,.. I started to look at the road in small doses.. until I finally felt the problem was now not vertigo under this condition anymore, but a fear induced reaction from those terrible events. I always loved the expression from the book "Feel the fear and do it anyway".. I kept that in mind.. and finally felt it was safe for me to go over. I slowly worked up to it in that manner and then just felt ready to take the plunge. It was a long time in coming, and now I can leave the house which is good to go to a place which is over that bridge for some refuge because I have a bacterial thing happening in my home and it's making me quite ill. I need to evacuate soon so working on that. I don't know if I

explained this well I hope so.

I hope you're feeling better.. I know it's a tough fight...Many hugs,,,

Hugs,

There would be nothing to frighten you if you refused to be afraid. Gandhi

From: "moodynomad@..." <moodynomad@...> Sent: Mon, February 21, 2011 12:13:34 PMSubject: Re: Re: update and thank you Bev

- 1st of all, I'm sorry but you made me laugh when you said you need a vacation from yourself! I've totally felt that way at times...i think it's hard not to feel that way when something consumes your life. but as we all know, we makie the best of what we've got. i'm sorry you haven't had luck with the leg dr's i was afraid of that. yes anything off the grid doesn't exist for most. and we are for sure off the charts. i think each one of us could be an alternative dr or at least a really great assistant.

But as for the bridge- that's wonderful! that IS somehting to celebrate! conquering those built up fears is huge. I have some that have developed with this illness and they can be debilitating! it's ridiculous. many of the girls i've talked to with breast implant illness do have anxiety/fears that come up for sure. but after a vertigo attack on a bridge, yah that would be terrifying. can you share some behavior modification techniques you used?

i hope you're getting lots of fresh air and feeling a bit better.

hugs,

bev----- Re: Re: CoenzymeQ10 and explant surgeon update

! hugs to you too sister I've been thinking about you ...i'm sorry about your rough patch. any luck with a dr not using chemicals? are you going to have surgery soon or did you ? sending you healing-

bev---------- Original Message ----------From: Natural Medicine <natmedgal@...> Subject: Re: Re: CoenzymeQ10 and explant surgeon updateDate: Thu, 17 Feb 2011 18:16:55 -0800 (PST)

Hi Bev,

I haven't been writing much, been a rough patch (again). Anyway, just wanted to send a hug via cyberspace.. I could so identify with your fight for wellness and the struggles. Our poor bodies indeed.. Keep up the good fight!

Hugs,

There would be nothing to frighten you if you refused to be afraid. Gandhi

____________________________________________________________$65/Hr Job - 25 OpeningsPart-Time job ($20-$65/hr). Requirements: Home Internet AccessChannel11NewsReport.com