Today

[Guest guest]

and did you tell him about the antacid?

Mo

Hi Just spoke to Dr P and he does make you feel better about things, he said he can see no reason why I cant go back on 25mcg of thyroxine and take it slowly, I told him my thyroid function tests had changed dramatically since stopping T4. I also said my average temps seemed stable but I was unsure when to start back on the T4, I am sure 25mcg isnt going have the effect that the higher dose had as in the heart plaps etc, he said I may never be able to get above 75mcg anyway now that I take HC. Please let this work! Find out how online threats target you - http://www.tiscali.co.uk/security ________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

I didnt Mo, forgot actually but he wants to talk to me again so will TRY and remember, I was involved with making sure I remembered other things i wanted to say-

and did you tell him about the antacid?

Mo

Hi Just spoke to Dr P and he does make you feel better about things, he said he can see no reason why I cant go back on 25mcg of thyroxine and take it slowly, I told him my thyroid function tests had changed dramatically since stopping T4. I also said my average temps seemed stable but I was unsure when to start back on the T4, I am sure 25mcg isnt going have the effect that the higher dose had as in the heart plaps etc, he said I may never be able to get above 75mcg anyway now that I take HC. Please let this work!

Find out how online threats target you - http://www.tiscali. co.uk/security

____________ _________ _________ _________ _________

[Guest guest]

It is quite likely that this drug has been causing most of your problems and not the dose of thyroxine you were taking.

Dr Peatfield is working 'blind' without this information.

Mo

I didnt Mo, forgot actually but he wants to talk to me again so will TRY and remember, I was involved with making sure I remembered other things i wanted to say-

and did you tell him about the antacid?

Mo

Hi Just spoke to Dr P and he does make you feel better about things, he said he can see no reason why I cant go back on 25mcg of thyroxine and take it slowly, I told him my thyroid function tests had changed dramatically since stopping T4. I also said my average temps seemed stable but I was unsure when to start back on the T4, I am sure 25mcg isnt going have the effect that the higher dose had as in the heart plaps etc, he said I may never be able to get above 75mcg anyway now that I take HC. Please let this work!

Find out how online threats target you - http://www.tiscali. co.uk/security

____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ Find out how online threats target you - http://www.tiscali.co.uk/security ________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Cant rememeber everything MO! Ive had anxiety before, well before omeprazole, so no way of knowing really--- On Fri, 26/9/08, moosborne@... <moosborne@...>

It is quite likely that this drug has been causing most of your problems and not the dose of thyroxine you were taking.

Dr Peatfield is working 'blind' without this information.

Mo

I didnt Mo, forgot actually but he wants to talk to me again so will TRY and remember, I was involved with making sure I remembered other things i wanted to say-

and did you tell him about the antacid?

Mo

Hi Just spoke to Dr P and he does make you feel better about things, he said he can see no reason why I cant go back on 25mcg of thyroxine and take it slowly, I told him my thyroid function tests had changed dramatically since stopping T4. I also said my average temps seemed stable but I was unsure when to start back on the T4, I am sure 25mcg isnt going have the effect that the higher dose had as in the heart plaps etc, he said I may never be able to get above 75mcg anyway now that I take HC. Please let this work!

Find out how online threats target you - http://www.tiscali. co.uk/security

____________ _________ _________ _________ _________

Find out how online threats target you - http://www.tiscali. co.uk/security

____________ _________ _________ _________ _________

[Guest guest]

isabella- you were rushed and stressed. you ate 3 times with no problems. don't

let this scare rent space in your head. it will be ok. your body is still

adjusting to the intervention. wait to worry. allow yourself time. thinking of

you...angela

achalasia@...: arnoldisabella@...: Mon, 12 Jan

2009 11:49:25 -0800Subject: Today

Hi all,You all know how happy I was, how extremely happy I was, after the

procedure last Wednesday. I tried to be realistic though and kept in the back of

my head, that chances of failure still were 50/50.Well, this morning I got up

and started at a hectic morning. Today I would officially be back at work for a

whole day a week, Romeo went to his job pretty early and the kids had to go to

school. Peanuts usually, but nowadays I have a hard time getting things arranged

this early in the morning. So when I got the kids to school I made myself a cup

of coffee and wanted to eat a slice of bread. But time was ticking and I had to

go to work (though nobody would mind if I arrived a few minutes late). So I was

a bit stressed and I ate a bit faster than I use to and I swallowed larger

swallows of coffee than I use to. I was shocked to notice that I needed to push

the bread down and it didn't slide like it used to after the procedure. I wasn't

just shocked, it got me terrified.But as time was ticking I jumped in my car and

drove off to work. That's a 20 minute drive and it gave me enough time to drive

myself nuts.Once I arrived at work, I had thought about all disaster scenarios

one can think of and I was tired and a mental mess. Of course everybody knew

about my procedure last week and of course they asked how I was doing and if

things were still as great as I told them last week (I informed how wonderfull

life was as of Wednesday). I couldn't hold my tears and ran off to the bath

room, which isn't like me.I have been there before. I know how swallowing issues

start off. I have never been wrong before when it comes to swallowing issues,

when I feel it starts all over again, it really does. Nevertheless I kept

thinking that I rushed too much earlier this morning and that I am not a

" normal " human being when it comes to swallowing. It might just have been a case

of not taking enough time and swallowing to big swallows. I needed to try, but

for that I wanted to be alone, yet I share my office with a collegue. I went

crazy inside. Once my collegue had left the office for a couple of hours, I had

a slice of bread. It went down OK, no problem at all. I ate 3x at work and it

went fine 3x. I ate a banana at home after work and that went fine as well. I

had dinner and I am not sure whether that went so fine or not. The real proof

will come once I had an apple, but honestly I don't dare trying that now. I'll

leave that untill tomorrow morning when I am home alone.You know, the fear that

I have for never getting rid of these issues, is so terribly bad. The fear I

have of never reaching that finish line, the fear of having to run in and out of

hospital for new procedures over and over again scares the h... out of me.I

don't know how much more I can take. I know I don't have reason to be this

scared, I mean nothing really has changed since yesterday, has it? Why does it

get to me the way it does? Why can I not control my fears and just wait and see?

Didn't I say I would enjoy today and just see what tomorrow has in store for me?

Why cannot I not do that? Why does my mind keep driving me crazy?Life was so

beautifull this last week. I got what I fought for. Now I am so scared that I

will never be able to keep swallowing as well as I did this week, yet I tasted

how good life can be and how wonderfull it is to just be able to eat. Yes, I had

severe dumping issues and yes I had to have small portions whereas I was more

hungry, but hey I could eat and swallow without pushing and flushing.I am fed up

with this and don't know how I will ever be able to get over it should this not

be working for me. I know I still got the stent option, but I am running out of

options slowly aren't I?Sorry.Love,Isabella[Non-text portions of this message

have been removed]

[Guest guest]

Isabell

 

I am so sorry that you had some problems today, but (there is always a " but " in

life) you are eating okay now, maybe you did eat too fast and was in a hurry. 

Hang Loose and keep the mind in check, it can race out of control so fast that

we can have ourselves in the mist of something horrible and it not be near that

bad.  Of course, I have not been through what you have and so I can't say it

will never come back but (there is that word again) when you start to stress out

change your thought patterns.  Start thinking of something refreshing or

pleasant, maybe that will help the running mind for awhile and I will keep you

in my thoughts and prayers.

 

May it not be anything this time

 

Millie in VA

[Guest guest]

Isabella,

You don't need to apologise for venting your feelings to us.

That's what we're here for. In some ways, going through tough times

makes us stronger, but I think it can also mean that we become almost

hyper-vigilant, sensing all the subtle signs and dreading a return to

our struggling. I remember feeling that way myself, even as the

family member of the one who was so ill, if I saw any signs that my

mother might be having trouble, after almost losing her. I think I

can understand your reaction to what happened today. I'm really

hoping it's only a fluke, maybe from the rushing, eating and drinking

too much too quickly. I like Millie's suggestion for retraining your

brain. Hang in there and try to relax (I know, it's not easy right now)!

Wishing you a return to successful swallowing,

in Michigan

>

> Hi all,

>

> You all know how happy I was, how extremely happy I was, after the

procedure last Wednesday. I tried to be realistic though and kept in

the back of my head, that chances of failure still were 50/50.

>

> Well, this morning I got up and started at a hectic morning. Today I

would officially be back at work for a whole day a week, Romeo went to

his job pretty early and the kids had to go to school. Peanuts

usually, but nowadays I have a hard time getting things arranged this

early in the morning. So when I got the kids to school I made myself a

cup of coffee and wanted to eat a slice of bread. But time was ticking

and I had to go to work (though nobody would mind if I arrived a few

minutes late). So I was a bit stressed and I ate a bit faster than I

use to and I swallowed larger swallows of coffee than I use to. I was

shocked to notice that I needed to push the bread down and it didn't

slide like it used to after the procedure. I wasn't just shocked, it

got me terrified.

>

> But as time was ticking I jumped in my car and drove off to work.

That's a 20 minute drive and it gave me enough time to drive myself nuts.

>

> Once I arrived at work, I had thought about all disaster scenarios

one can think of and I was tired and a mental mess. Of course

everybody knew about my procedure last week and of course they asked

how I was doing and if things were still as great as I told them last

week (I informed how wonderfull life was as of Wednesday). I couldn't

hold my tears and ran off to the bath room, which isn't like me.

>

> I have been there before. I know how swallowing issues start off. I

have never been wrong before when it comes to swallowing issues, when

I feel it starts all over again, it really does. Nevertheless I kept

thinking that I rushed too much earlier this morning and that I am not

a " normal " human being when it comes to swallowing. It might just have

been a case of not taking enough time and swallowing to big swallows.

I needed to try, but for that I wanted to be alone, yet I share my

office with a collegue. I went crazy inside. Once my collegue had left

the office for a couple of hours, I had a slice of bread. It went down

OK, no problem at all. I ate 3x at work and it went fine 3x. I ate a

banana at home after work and that went fine as well. I had dinner and

I am not sure whether that went so fine or not. The real proof will

come once I had an apple, but honestly I don't dare trying that now.

I'll leave that untill tomorrow morning when I am home alone.

>

> You know, the fear that I have for never getting rid of these

issues, is so terribly bad. The fear I have of never reaching that

finish line, the fear of having to run in and out of hospital for new

procedures over and over again scares the h... out of me.

>

> I don't know how much more I can take. I know I don't have reason to

be this scared, I mean nothing really has changed since yesterday, has

it? Why does it get to me the way it does? Why can I not control my

fears and just wait and see? Didn't I say I would enjoy today and just

see what tomorrow has in store for me? Why cannot I not do that? Why

does my mind keep driving me crazy?

>

> Life was so beautifull this last week. I got what I fought for. Now

I am so scared that I will never be able to keep swallowing as well as

I did this week, yet I tasted how good life can be and how wonderfull

it is to just be able to eat. Yes, I had severe dumping issues and yes

I had to have small portions whereas I was more hungry, but hey I

could eat and swallow without pushing and flushing.

>

> I am fed up with this and don't know how I will ever be able to get

over it should this not be working for me. I know I still got the

stent option, but I am running out of options slowly aren't I?

>

> Sorry.

>

> Love,

> Isabella

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Dear all,

Indeed I obviously overreacted, things are still fine and I am still able to

swallow. I even did have an apple yesterday night. It went down fine. So all in

all, nothing has really changed eating wise since last Sunday, has it?

Yet, I haven't been able to sleep last night and I am still not back to being

positive and confident in a good outcome. This isn't me, but as you mention the

mind is such a powerfull thing and I think these past years are taking their

toll. Maybe, once the coming 8 weeks have passed and things still go down well,

maybe I will be able to let go.

As I wrote before I think the fear for what might happen probably is worse than

the fears really coming true. I've had so many treatments before and nothing

worked, I guess my mind is asking itself why this one would be the one doing the

trick. I don't want to think like that and I don't use to think like that, but

at the moment I just do think like that.

Maybe I can get myself together within a couple of days again. I hope so.

Love,

Isabella

[Guest guest]

Oh Isabella

I am so sorry that you are having problems again. Believe me I know how you are

feeling as you have described how I feel. Every time I try to swallow it is a

gamble on whether whatever I have swallowed goes down.. Last Sunday for instance

I sat down to lunch full of confidence that I would be able to swallow some

mashed veg with gravy and yes I did get 5 spoonfulls down then bang it went

stuck and had to leave the rest, then rest for 30 mins. and try a little drink.

That went down after a fashion but the pain is what gets me. I had to grab hold

of something while the pain came in waves for over 2 hours. Plus what was in my

system caused an increase in bile leak out of my J-Tube stoma and drenched my

dressings again. I had to leave the room for a little weep. Got on the phone

Monday morning to my GI docs team to report what happened and up until now I am

stoill waiting for a phone call to tell me of the progress of when I can have my

J-Tube replaced with a

Gastrscopy in the Interventional Suite.

I take things one day at a time and hope that the following day is a better one.

Think of the good times that is ahead of you and try not to let things get you

down. You are constantly in my thoughts Isabella as I know what you're going

through. Chin up as we Brits say. God Bless.

________________________________

From: Isabella Arnold <arnoldisabella@...>

Achalasia <achalasia >

Sent: Monday, January 12, 2009 7:49:25 PM

Subject: Today

Hi all,

You all know how happy I was, how extremely happy I was, after the procedure

last Wednesday. I tried to be realistic though and kept in the back of my head,

that chances of failure still were 50/50.

Well, this morning I got up and started at a hectic morning. Today I would

officially be back at work for a whole day a week, Romeo went to his job pretty

early and the kids had to go to school. Peanuts usually, but nowadays I have a

hard time getting things arranged this early in the morning. So when I got the

kids to school I made myself a cup of coffee and wanted to eat a slice of bread.

But time was ticking and I had to go to work (though nobody would mind if I

arrived a few minutes late). So I was a bit stressed and I ate a bit faster than

I use to and I swallowed larger swallows of coffee than I use to. I was shocked

to notice that I needed to push the bread down and it didn't slide like it used

to after the procedure. I wasn't just shocked, it got me terrified.

But as time was ticking I jumped in my car and drove off to work. That's a 20

minute drive and it gave me enough time to drive myself nuts.

Once I arrived at work, I had thought about all disaster scenarios one can think

of and I was tired and a mental mess. Of course everybody knew about my

procedure last week and of course they asked how I was doing and if things were

still as great as I told them last week (I informed how wonderfull life was as

of Wednesday). I couldn't hold my tears and ran off to the bath room, which

isn't like me.

I have been there before. I know how swallowing issues start off. I have never

been wrong before when it comes to swallowing issues, when I feel it starts all

over again, it really does. Nevertheless I kept thinking that I rushed too much

earlier this morning and that I am not a " normal " human being when it comes to

swallowing. It might just have been a case of not taking enough time and

swallowing to big swallows. I needed to try, but for that I wanted to be alone,

yet I share my office with a collegue.. I went crazy inside. Once my collegue

had left the office for a couple of hours, I had a slice of bread. It went down

OK, no problem at all. I ate 3x at work and it went fine 3x. I ate a banana at

home after work and that went fine as well. I had dinner and I am not sure

whether that went so fine or not. The real proof will come once I had an apple,

but honestly I don't dare trying that now. I'll leave that untill tomorrow

morning when I am home alone.

You know, the fear that I have for never getting rid of these issues, is so

terribly bad. The fear I have of never reaching that finish line, the fear of

having to run in and out of hospital for new procedures over and over again

scares the h... out of me.

I don't know how much more I can take. I know I don't have reason to be this

scared, I mean nothing really has changed since yesterday, has it? Why does it

get to me the way it does? Why can I not control my fears and just wait and see?

Didn't I say I would enjoy today and just see what tomorrow has in store for me?

Why cannot I not do that? Why does my mind keep driving me crazy?

Life was so beautifull this last week. I got what I fought for. Now I am so

scared that I will never be able to keep swallowing as well as I did this week,

yet I tasted how good life can be and how wonderfull it is to just be able to

eat. Yes, I had severe dumping issues and yes I had to have small portions

whereas I was more hungry, but hey I could eat and swallow without pushing and

flushing.

I am fed up with this and don't know how I will ever be able to get over it

should this not be working for me. I know I still got the stent option, but I am

running out of options slowly aren't I?

Sorry.

Love,

Isabella

[Guest guest]

Isabella,

First off - you are not running out of anything. You had a scare and of course,

with everything you have been through, it set your mind in motion and you

assumed the worst, which is that the procedure was starting to fail. But since

that one time, when it was hectic and you were rushing and probably eating too

fast, things have been fine.

What you need to realize is that anyone in your situation would have done the

same thing. You need to lighten up on yourself. I had the 'ectomy also - I am

approaching my two year anniversary of my surgery and I haven't had any of the

problems you have had and I still, in the back of my mind, think about stuff all

the time. Yes I am glad I did the surgery. Yes it was a long recovery even

without complications and ongoing issues. Yes on occasion I eat too much and get

an uncomfortable belly. Yes sometimes I do get dumping - although I think I have

that pretty much figured out at this point - down to a specific kind/flavor of

ice cream that sometimes I just have to eat even though I know better.....about

45 minutes later I feel the gurgling, head to the bathroom for two dumping

cycles and then I'm fine. It's like clockwork. But yes, even though I haven't

had any real lasting issues, I still think about everything and wonder. I wonder

how long it will last......sometimes I have a harder than normal swallow out of

nowhere and start imagining all sorts of things are wrong. Then I realize, like

you I was probably rushing it or whatever.

I guess my point is that no matter what surgeries or procedures we have had

done, the fact remains that our swallowing will never be 100% completely normal.

Mine is so much better than it used to be and I am healthier for it. But the

fact remains that I don't have an esophagus and while I might not experience the

achalasia symptoms anymore, it doesn't make me 100% " normal " like someone who

has never had the problems we have had. Give yourself a break and realize that

all of this is still very fresh in your head and of course you are going to

think about it and worry about it. It's only normal. And we are here for you,

not as people that are going to judge you, or get sick of hearing it, or

anything. We are here as your friends and people that share the same fears and

frustrations.

Relax and enjoy things and try to live in the moment - push the what-if's and

fears aside, even if only for today.

Love,

in NY

'Ectomy 3/29/07

---- Isabella Arnold <arnoldisabella@...> wrote:

> Hi all,

>

> You all know how happy I was, how extremely happy I was, after the procedure

last Wednesday. I tried to be realistic though and kept in the back of my head,

that chances of failure still were 50/50.

>

> Well, this morning I got up and started at a hectic morning. Today I would

officially be back at work for a whole day a week, Romeo went to his job pretty

early and the kids had to go to school. Peanuts usually, but nowadays I have a

hard time getting things arranged this early in the morning. So when I got the

kids to school I made myself a cup of coffee and wanted to eat a slice of bread.

But time was ticking and I had to go to work (though nobody would mind if I

arrived a few minutes late). So I was a bit stressed and I ate a bit faster than

I use to and I swallowed larger swallows of coffee than I use to. I was shocked

to notice that I needed to push the bread down and it didn't slide like it used

to after the procedure. I wasn't just shocked, it got me terrified.

>

> But as time was ticking I jumped in my car and drove off to work. That's a 20

minute drive and it gave me enough time to drive myself nuts.

>

> Once I arrived at work, I had thought about all disaster scenarios one can

think of and I was tired and a mental mess. Of course everybody knew about my

procedure last week and of course they asked how I was doing and if things were

still as great as I told them last week (I informed how wonderfull life was as

of Wednesday). I couldn't hold my tears and ran off to the bath room, which

isn't like me.

>

> I have been there before. I know how swallowing issues start off. I have never

been wrong before when it comes to swallowing issues, when I feel it starts all

over again, it really does. Nevertheless I kept thinking that I rushed too much

earlier this morning and that I am not a " normal " human being when it comes to

swallowing. It might just have been a case of not taking enough time and

swallowing to big swallows. I needed to try, but for that I wanted to be alone,

yet I share my office with a collegue. I went crazy inside. Once my collegue had

left the office for a couple of hours, I had a slice of bread. It went down OK,

no problem at all. I ate 3x at work and it went fine 3x. I ate a banana at home

after work and that went fine as well. I had dinner and I am not sure whether

that went so fine or not. The real proof will come once I had an apple, but

honestly I don't dare trying that now. I'll leave that untill tomorrow morning

when I am home alone.

>

> You know, the fear that I have for never getting rid of these issues, is so

terribly bad. The fear I have of never reaching that finish line, the fear of

having to run in and out of hospital for new procedures over and over again

scares the h... out of me.

>

> I don't know how much more I can take. I know I don't have reason to be this

scared, I mean nothing really has changed since yesterday, has it? Why does it

get to me the way it does? Why can I not control my fears and just wait and see?

Didn't I say I would enjoy today and just see what tomorrow has in store for me?

Why cannot I not do that? Why does my mind keep driving me crazy?

>

> Life was so beautifull this last week. I got what I fought for. Now I am so

scared that I will never be able to keep swallowing as well as I did this week,

yet I tasted how good life can be and how wonderfull it is to just be able to

eat. Yes, I had severe dumping issues and yes I had to have small portions

whereas I was more hungry, but hey I could eat and swallow without pushing and

flushing.

>

> I am fed up with this and don't know how I will ever be able to get over it

should this not be working for me. I know I still got the stent option, but I am

running out of options slowly aren't I?

>

> Sorry.

>

> Love,

> Isabella

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi

I am exactly the same Isabella about fearing the worst when it actually

never happens - we all do and sometimes its not easy to get back on track

but with each others support we will cope and so will you.

Andy

2009/1/13 Isabella Arnold <arnoldisabella@...>

> Dear all,

>

> Indeed I obviously overreacted, things are still fine and I am still able

> to swallow. I even did have an apple yesterday night. It went down fine. So

> all in all, nothing has really changed eating wise since last Sunday, has

> it?

>

> Yet, I haven't been able to sleep last night and I am still not back to

> being positive and confident in a good outcome. This isn't me, but as you

> mention the mind is such a powerfull thing and I think these past years are

> taking their toll. Maybe, once the coming 8 weeks have passed and things

> still go down well, maybe I will be able to let go.

>

> As I wrote before I think the fear for what might happen probably is worse

> than the fears really coming true. I've had so many treatments before and

> nothing worked, I guess my mind is asking itself why this one would be the

> one doing the trick. I don't want to think like that and I don't use to

> think like that, but at the moment I just do think like that.

>

> Maybe I can get myself together within a couple of days again. I hope so.

>

> Love,

> Isabella

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Wise words indeed Andy. The cliched version is " let's cross that bridge when we

come to it " .  In my lifetime and experience so far I have found that there are

many of those bridges that I did not even get to see the first yard of! LOL

 

We all worry and for the most part, what a load of rubbish worrying actually is.

We spend so much time and nervous energy worrying. We will continue to remind

each other of this fact, as you say.

 

Best Wishes from your neighbour Ann.

From: Haigh <mr.gadget1961@...>

Subject: Re: Re: Today

achalasia

Date: Tuesday, 13 January, 2009, 9:27 PM

Hi

I am exactly the same Isabella about fearing the worst when it actually

never happens - we all do and sometimes its not easy to get back on track

but with each others support we will cope and so will you.

Andy

2009/1/13 Isabella Arnold <arnoldisabella>

> Dear all,

>

> Indeed I obviously overreacted, things are still fine and I am still able

> to swallow. I even did have an apple yesterday night. It went down fine. So

> all in all, nothing has really changed eating wise since last Sunday, has

> it?

>

> Yet, I haven't been able to sleep last night and I am still not back to

> being positive and confident in a good outcome. This isn't me, but as you

> mention the mind is such a powerfull thing and I think these past years are

> taking their toll. Maybe, once the coming 8 weeks have passed and things

> still go down well, maybe I will be able to let go.

>

> As I wrote before I think the fear for what might happen probably is worse

> than the fears really coming true. I've had so many treatments before and

> nothing worked, I guess my mind is asking itself why this one would be the

> one doing the trick. I don't want to think like that and I don't use to

> think like that, but at the moment I just do think like that.

>

> Maybe I can get myself together within a couple of days again. I hope so.

>

> Love,

> Isabella

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Dear Isabella,

 

          Thank GOD you have mentioned the frantic worries I, too, go through,

even

though I've had none of the more serious problems you've had.  Your post has

helped me enormously.  First of all, to hear you talk about the stress you feel

with the swallowing problems is a stress I feel, too, and I'll bet most of us

feel.

Second of all, I think it's important to vent and then to feel scared, and to

cry

over this stuff.  You are probably healthier in your response than a lot of

people

I've me who have health issues and just chuck it off as if it didn't bother

them.

It bothers the hell out of me, from time to time, and every time I remember I've

had

a preliminary diagnosis of Barretts, my mind immediately goes to cancer,

chemo, surgeries, loss of income, loss of home, and then, just homelessness.

        The worst will not happen.  We will all persevere.  But the

going-through-

the bad thoughts, cycling, and feeling bad and scared, is so good, like a

deep cathartic wash, I just want to thank you for telling us all of this.  You

have helped me a lot.

 

        Deborah

[Guest guest]

Yep, Ann and Andy, I found out it is like that as well. It's good though to get

through those fears with the help of dear friends who understand.

Love,

Isabella

________________________________

From: Ann Higgs <lilac_blossom_lady@...>

achalasia

Sent: Wednesday, January 14, 2009 12:37:44 PM

Subject: Re: Re: Today

Wise words indeed Andy. The cliched version is " let's cross that bridge when we

come to it " .  In my lifetime and experience so far I have found that there are

many of those bridges that I did not even get to see the first yard of! LOL

 

We all worry and for the most part, what a load of rubbish worrying actually is.

We spend so much time and nervous energy worrying. We will continue to remind

each other of this fact, as you say.

 

Best Wishes from your neighbour Ann.

From: Haigh <mr.gadget1961@ googlemail. com>

Subject: Re: Re: Today

achalasia@grou ps.com

Date: Tuesday, 13 January, 2009, 9:27 PM

Hi

I am exactly the same Isabella about fearing the worst when it actually

never happens - we all do and sometimes its not easy to get back on track

but with each others support we will cope and so will you.

Andy

2009/1/13 Isabella Arnold <arnoldisabella>

> Dear all,

>

> Indeed I obviously overreacted, things are still fine and I am still able

> to swallow. I even did have an apple yesterday night. It went down fine. So

> all in all, nothing has really changed eating wise since last Sunday, has

> it?

>

> Yet, I haven't been able to sleep last night and I am still not back to

> being positive and confident in a good outcome. This isn't me, but as you

> mention the mind is such a powerfull thing and I think these past years are

> taking their toll. Maybe, once the coming 8 weeks have passed and things

> still go down well, maybe I will be able to let go.

>

> As I wrote before I think the fear for what might happen probably is worse

> than the fears really coming true. I've had so many treatments before and

> nothing worked, I guess my mind is asking itself why this one would be the

> one doing the trick. I don't want to think like that and I don't use to

> think like that, but at the moment I just do think like that.

>

> Maybe I can get myself together within a couple of days again. I hope so.

>

> Love,

> Isabella

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Donna,

so glad to hear that you are doing a bit better. Your spirits have come up so

that is good. We are praying for a complete recovery and much improvement. Veri

& Jaye

just checkin in

hey gang...I have not been hiding or anything such. I have been laid up

with this dang knee. WHOA! Maybe some of you knee replacement folks can

chime in and let me know if I am among the normal or not. I had my

surgery Monday and I know its still early but I border on the side of

misery about 50% of my day. I was told knees were worse than hips and

thus far I agree. I have cursed, cried and begged all to no help. My

knee was by far the ordinary knee needing a replacement. It has been

contracted for 35 plus years and also is the knee with scleroderma so I

am sure these factors are contrinuting to my woes. My muscles are

screeching and my scleroderma skin is doing everything it can to not

break loose. The swellin has just began to go down and my bruising is

somehwat improving. Talking about a beauty of a leg. Purple and blue

shades have taken over from hip to toe. Of course those who know me,

know I want to be better NOW and it dont work that way with

replacements. Speaking of which my time at the comp is up and time to

relax the leg has come. However, if anyone who has had a knee can advise

me, please do!

Hangin (real) tight!!!

Donna

[Guest guest]

Personally, working in rehab, its my opinion that the CPM is a MUST. Most of the

patients say that it helps so much with range of motion that they feel better

when it is on.

Just my 2 cents.

and Rob 19 JAS

just checkin in

>

> hey gang...I have not been hiding or anything such. I have been

> laid up

> with this dang knee. WHOA! Maybe some of you knee replacement

> folks can

> chime in and let me know if I am among the normal or not. I had my

> surgery Monday and I know its still early but I border on the

> side of

> misery about 50% of my day. I was told knees were worse than

> hips and

> thus far I agree. I have cursed, cried and begged all to no

> help. My

> knee was by far the ordinary knee needing a replacement. It has been

> contracted for 35 plus years and also is the knee with

> scleroderma so I

> am sure these factors are contrinuting to my woes. My muscles are

> screeching and my scleroderma skin is doing everything it can to not

> break loose. The swellin has just began to go down and my

> bruising is

> somehwat improving. Talking about a beauty of a leg. Purple and blue

> shades have taken over from hip to toe. Of course those who know me,

> know I want to be better NOW and it dont work that way with

> replacements. Speaking of which my time at the comp is up and

> time to

> relax the leg has come. However, if anyone who has had a knee

> can advise

> me, please do!

>

> Hangin (real) tight!!!

>

> Donna

>

>

[Guest guest]

according to some research studies I read sometime back, CPM is only

supposed to be most effective during and directly after surgery while the

patient is still in the hospital. Supposedly it doesn't help significantly

once the paitent is home which is why they aren't sent home and probbaly why

your doctor says that (ie Insurance wont pay for it...)

On the other hand, if this is all true, given Your particular situation

having contractures and Scleroderma makes you atypical and not the

traditional joint replacement person so it seems this would give a good

reason for a TAR to be written and approved for CPM to be paid for. I'm

wondering if your Rehab PT people can fight for you to get this and if you

can bring this up to them and discuss it as it would greatly help you.

I know it helps people a lot and it only makes sense that it would aid

someone like you whose muscles,tendons/skin is going to resist movement

unlike 'everyone' else therefore making your rehab longer so they would

likely save money, pain and difficulty by paying for this machine for home

usage. Thats my 3 cents on top of marias 2 cents heheheheh.... Im a good

arguer to get what i want... LOLOL...

Want me to call them?? hehehehe

Izzie

On Tue, Feb 24, 2009 at 6:41 PM, and Schulz <

snooksmama@...> wrote:

> Personally, working in rehab, its my opinion that the CPM is a MUST.

> Most of the patients say that it helps so much with range of motion that

> they feel better when it is on.

> Just my 2 cents.

>

> and Rob 19 JAS

>

> just checkin in

> >

> > hey gang...I have not been hiding or anything such. I have been

> > laid up

> > with this dang knee. WHOA! Maybe some of you knee replacement

> > folks can

> > chime in and let me know if I am among the normal or not. I had my

> > surgery Monday and I know its still early but I border on the

> > side of

> > misery about 50% of my day. I was told knees were worse than

> > hips and

> > thus far I agree. I have cursed, cried and begged all to no

> > help. My

> > knee was by far the ordinary knee needing a replacement. It has been

> > contracted for 35 plus years and also is the knee with

> > scleroderma so I

> > am sure these factors are contrinuting to my woes. My muscles are

> > screeching and my scleroderma skin is doing everything it can to not

> > break loose. The swellin has just began to go down and my

> > bruising is

> > somehwat improving. Talking about a beauty of a leg. Purple and blue

> > shades have taken over from hip to toe. Of course those who know me,

> > know I want to be better NOW and it dont work that way with

> > replacements. Speaking of which my time at the comp is up and

> > time to

> > relax the leg has come. However, if anyone who has had a knee

> > can advise

> > me, please do!

> >

> > Hangin (real) tight!!!

> >

> > Donna

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

does anyone have a suggesion as to how I can a CPM ? I ont have the mney to pay

for it. Doc has said if I want to try it I can but insurance wont pay now that I

am home.....ugh...any0ne got a CPM sittin around....

Donna

[Guest guest]

Hey everyone BlueRose here,

My wellness check up went well. I had a lesion on my thigh and the doctor froze

and said it would fall off in the next 2 weeks or so. That it was not cancerous,

thank you God.

I am down 12 pounds from the last doctors visit. Seems I am doing something

right.

I had bloodwork my Blood pressure was up a little, doctor will check the

bloodwork and

let me know if meds need to be changed.

So now I have a new starting weight of NOT 325 or NOT 350 but it is 313 today.

I was grateful for it to be down. I am on the move Toward my " TOWARDS " lol.

Thank you God.

I fasted so they could do the blood work today. I took a couple of crackers

whole grain and

a sports drink no calories with me so that I could have that after the blood

work was taken. Then I had a simple meal for lunch.

I hope you are all doing well,

BlueRose in Fl.

Today

BlueRose here in Fl.

yesterday was my Birthday and I had dessert. today I am reconnecting myself

and going forward in recovery. So grateful I could eat just one dessert and

really enjoy it, it was delicious and with my family around me it made it even

more delicious. lol

Today I have eaten really well, with a small salad for lunch and it was

enough. I am enjoying a cup of decaf coffee now, I like to have a warm cup of

coffee after lunch. It feels like the end to a good meal for me even if I only

had a small salad today.

I have my wellness check up at the doctors tomorrow around 11am. I will then

have a weight starting point because I do not have a scale to weigh on here at

home. I am looking foreward to just knowing the numbers, not for vanity, but

just to have a starting point. I know there is not a stopping point this is all

life changeing choices that I will be making to better health and richer full

living. This is my " Towards " , to have that richer fuller satisfied way of living

life. To eat what I really have a taste for in the right amounts for my body to

recover what it has lost over the years. To enjoy what I do eat, without beating

up on myself. To know that I do not have to do any of it " Perfectly " . Just

moving toward my TOWARDS " , that is a joy to me, and it is beginning to be fun to

see what choices I can make each day to be slowing moving toward my TOWARDS. lol

I love the podcast that did on adding the gray scale to the black and

white thinking.

It really has helped me to change things, and to accept what I can't change

today. lol

I used to go at losing weight full speed ahead only to fall and crash and burn

out and then go back to not caring. I don't want to live that way anymore. I

want to live each day with the thought of nothing has to be " Perfect " , just do

what I can each day toward my goals of healthier living with joy and peace

within with all of it.

I want to leave that old black and white thinking behind me. I want to learn

to recognize the negative thoughts so that I can let go of them and pick up the

positives in my life. Adding more positive thoughts to replace that old way of

thinking and doing. )

I have a wonderful life and I want to really live it fully. with a loving and

grateful heart, mind and soul.

Thanks for this thread WIDRT,

BlueRose in Fl.

[Guest guest]

Hey everyone BlueRose here,

My wellness check up went well. I had a lesion on my thigh and the doctor froze

and said it would fall off in the next 2 weeks or so. That it was not cancerous,

thank you God.

I am down 12 pounds from the last doctors visit. Seems I am doing something

right.

I had bloodwork my Blood pressure was up a little, doctor will check the

bloodwork and

let me know if meds need to be changed.

So now I have a new starting weight of NOT 325 or NOT 350 but it is 313 today.

I was grateful for it to be down. I am on the move Toward my " TOWARDS " lol.

Thank you God.

I fasted so they could do the blood work today. I took a couple of crackers

whole grain and

a sports drink no calories with me so that I could have that after the blood

work was taken. Then I had a simple meal for lunch.

I hope you are all doing well,

BlueRose in Fl.

Today

BlueRose here in Fl.

yesterday was my Birthday and I had dessert. today I am reconnecting myself

and going forward in recovery. So grateful I could eat just one dessert and

really enjoy it, it was delicious and with my family around me it made it even

more delicious. lol

Today I have eaten really well, with a small salad for lunch and it was

enough. I am enjoying a cup of decaf coffee now, I like to have a warm cup of

coffee after lunch. It feels like the end to a good meal for me even if I only

had a small salad today.

I have my wellness check up at the doctors tomorrow around 11am. I will then

have a weight starting point because I do not have a scale to weigh on here at

home. I am looking foreward to just knowing the numbers, not for vanity, but

just to have a starting point. I know there is not a stopping point this is all

life changeing choices that I will be making to better health and richer full

living. This is my " Towards " , to have that richer fuller satisfied way of living

life. To eat what I really have a taste for in the right amounts for my body to

recover what it has lost over the years. To enjoy what I do eat, without beating

up on myself. To know that I do not have to do any of it " Perfectly " . Just

moving toward my TOWARDS " , that is a joy to me, and it is beginning to be fun to

see what choices I can make each day to be slowing moving toward my TOWARDS. lol

I love the podcast that did on adding the gray scale to the black and

white thinking.

It really has helped me to change things, and to accept what I can't change

today. lol

I used to go at losing weight full speed ahead only to fall and crash and burn

out and then go back to not caring. I don't want to live that way anymore. I

want to live each day with the thought of nothing has to be " Perfect " , just do

what I can each day toward my goals of healthier living with joy and peace

within with all of it.

I want to leave that old black and white thinking behind me. I want to learn

to recognize the negative thoughts so that I can let go of them and pick up the

positives in my life. Adding more positive thoughts to replace that old way of

thinking and doing. )

I have a wonderful life and I want to really live it fully. with a loving and

grateful heart, mind and soul.

Thanks for this thread WIDRT,

BlueRose in Fl.

[Guest guest]

hey i used to think this guy was a nut until i started looking into everything he was ranting about and found LEGITIMATE sources for everything. now i try to listen every day!! too bad we cant get him on primetime!!!

On Fri, Jul 24, 2009 at 2:44 PM, melkin48 <melkin48@...> wrote:

 

Hopefully you have a subscription to Prison Planet TV--it is worth the bucks.. there is a major discussion of the vaccine issue and depopulation going on right now.--Friday July 24

[Guest guest]

hey i used to think this guy was a nut until i started looking into everything he was ranting about and found LEGITIMATE sources for everything. now i try to listen every day!! too bad we cant get him on primetime!!!

On Fri, Jul 24, 2009 at 2:44 PM, melkin48 <melkin48@...> wrote:

 

Hopefully you have a subscription to Prison Planet TV--it is worth the bucks.. there is a major discussion of the vaccine issue and depopulation going on right now.--Friday July 24

[Guest guest]

I listen to just about every day! He really is great. Re: todayhey i used to think this guy was a nut until i started looking intoeverything he was ranting about and found LEGITIMATE sources for everything.now i try to listen every day!! too bad we cant get him on primetime!!!On Fri, Jul 24, 2009 at 2:44 PM, melkin48 <melkin48@...> wrote:>>> Hopefully you have a subscription to Prison Planet TV--it is worth the> bucks.. there is a major discussion of the vaccine issue and depopulation> going on right now.--Friday July 24>> >

[Guest guest]

I listen to just about every day! He really is great. Re: todayhey i used to think this guy was a nut until i started looking intoeverything he was ranting about and found LEGITIMATE sources for everything.now i try to listen every day!! too bad we cant get him on primetime!!!On Fri, Jul 24, 2009 at 2:44 PM, melkin48 <melkin48@...> wrote:>>> Hopefully you have a subscription to Prison Planet TV--it is worth the> bucks.. there is a major discussion of the vaccine issue and depopulation> going on right now.--Friday July 24>> >

[Guest guest]

Hey, Stuart - prayers coming your way for an easy recovery and a

successful outcome! Remember, it will take time to get speech discrimination,

and I

pray you do. Jackie )