Re: what it's like to be fat

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 11/7/2002 4:15:44 AM Eastern Standard Time,

tuesdynite@... writes:

> Just wondering if anyone saw the Oprah Winfrey show today on the above

> subject. I am still sitting here, crying. All the pain, humiliation,

> terror,

> self-hatred, frustration, agony, recrimination, guilt, disgust --

> you-name-it

> -- came flooding back.

*********************************

Carol, I forgot and missed the show, but I'm no longer a fan of Oprah's

really anymore anyway, mainly due to that quack Dr. Phil, but don't get me

started on him. Anyway, any mention of WLS?

in NJ

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 11/7/2002 4:15:44 AM Eastern Standard Time,

tuesdynite@... writes:

> Just wondering if anyone saw the Oprah Winfrey show today on the above

> subject. I am still sitting here, crying. All the pain, humiliation,

> terror,

> self-hatred, frustration, agony, recrimination, guilt, disgust --

> you-name-it

> -- came flooding back.

*********************************

Carol, I forgot and missed the show, but I'm no longer a fan of Oprah's

really anymore anyway, mainly due to that quack Dr. Phil, but don't get me

started on him. Anyway, any mention of WLS?

in NJ

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 11/7/2002 7:28:28 AM Eastern Standard Time,

vt_rita@... writes:

> Yeah, Oprah was talking about the person that lost 300

> lbs the hard way and didn't take the easy way out like

> wt loss surgery....

>

> rita

******************************

This is why I can't watch her anymore. What a disservice she's doing to 95%

of the population....and people look up to her like a Goddess. So sad.

in NJ

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 11/7/2002 7:28:28 AM Eastern Standard Time,

vt_rita@... writes:

> Yeah, Oprah was talking about the person that lost 300

> lbs the hard way and didn't take the easy way out like

> wt loss surgery....

>

> rita

******************************

This is why I can't watch her anymore. What a disservice she's doing to 95%

of the population....and people look up to her like a Goddess. So sad.

in NJ

[Guest guest]

Leave poor Ophrah alone, would I be any more sensible if I had been brain

washed by Dr. Phil. LOL I never could watch him for more than a minute. I

still give her a lot of credit for her accomplishments and all the good deeds

she does without anyone knowing about it. And will always support her right

to be wrong. Fay Bayuk

[Guest guest]

Leave poor Ophrah alone, would I be any more sensible if I had been brain

washed by Dr. Phil. LOL I never could watch him for more than a minute. I

still give her a lot of credit for her accomplishments and all the good deeds

she does without anyone knowing about it. And will always support her right

to be wrong. Fay Bayuk

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 11/7/2002 7:41:22 AM Eastern Standard Time, FBayuk writes:

> Leave poor Ophrah alone, would I be any more sensible if I had been brain

> washed by Dr. Phil. LOL I never could watch him for more than a minute.

> I still give her a lot of credit for her accomplishments and all the good

> deeds she does without anyone knowing about it. And will always support

> her right to be wrong. Fay Bayuk

***************************

Oh, I'm certainly not denying her accomplishments. She's a brilliant woman

and has worked incredibly hard to get where she is and, yes, she's quite the

philanthropist. BUT, when it comes to weight loss (for the morbidly obese),

she just can't see the forest for the trees. I just wish she was a little

more open minded.

in NJ

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 11/7/2002 6:57:35 AM Eastern Standard Time,

watnext@... writes:

<< Anyway, any mention of WLS? >>

She did say about the woman losing 300 pounds, " you did it the hard way, no

surgery..... "

She was not derogatory, just revealing a glimpse of her own prejudices. I

feel this way about getting thin or getting rich. I'm not willing to do

anything illegal or harmful to others or society in general, otherwise I'll

take it, easy, hard, whatever. There might be plenty of people who think she

got rich the easy way...I mean for heavens sakes she just TALKS, right?

I like her, and if she had a little 'tude about WLS, I guess that just makes

her human.

I thought the show was very honest and powerful. I remember for years

watching every show like that, seeing the ones who had lost weight and

wondering WHY I couldn't do it. FINALLY, I am out of that morbidly obese

category, still fat in most peoples eyes, but so much more alive, mobile and

able to partake of a much broader section of life.

B

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 11/7/2002 6:57:35 AM Eastern Standard Time,

watnext@... writes:

<< Anyway, any mention of WLS? >>

She did say about the woman losing 300 pounds, " you did it the hard way, no

surgery..... "

She was not derogatory, just revealing a glimpse of her own prejudices. I

feel this way about getting thin or getting rich. I'm not willing to do

anything illegal or harmful to others or society in general, otherwise I'll

take it, easy, hard, whatever. There might be plenty of people who think she

got rich the easy way...I mean for heavens sakes she just TALKS, right?

I like her, and if she had a little 'tude about WLS, I guess that just makes

her human.

I thought the show was very honest and powerful. I remember for years

watching every show like that, seeing the ones who had lost weight and

wondering WHY I couldn't do it. FINALLY, I am out of that morbidly obese

category, still fat in most peoples eyes, but so much more alive, mobile and

able to partake of a much broader section of life.

B

[Guest guest]

Hello. I did not see that Oprah show, but have heard many comments about it,

since yesterday.

Yes, I constantly worry about regain. This is the 4th. time in my adult life

that I have made it to goal....the other 3 times I regained all my weight

back and then some :-(

The scale has become my friend. I no longer jump on the scale every five

minutes, but every 4-5 days, I do weight. When I reach even 3 pounds above

goal, I do something about it, immediately. My fear is great enough that I

usually don't even allow it to get to 5 pounds, even though it can be water

weight at the time. For myself, I follow Atkins program for a week, then go

back to my regular, including my " cheats " with fun foods, or foods that I do

not normally include in my program. Good luck to all of us! The difference

for me now....is....the confidence---that I can maintain. Why? Because of my

" tool " " the tummy-pouch! " I haven't named it yet, but I might ;-)

Barb B.

>

> Just wondering if anyone saw the Oprah Winfrey show today on the above

> subject. I am still sitting here, crying. All the pain, humiliation,

> terror,

> self-hatred, frustration, agony, recrimination, guilt, disgust --

> you-name-it

> -- came flooding back.

>

> Especially the terror. I am terrified that I could maybe end up going back

> to

> all that. Does it never end?

>

> Carol A

>

Barb B.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 11/7/2002 1:09:15 AM Pacific Standard Time,

tuesdynite@... writes:

> All the pain, humiliation, terror, self-hatred, frustration, agony,

> recrimination, guilt, disgust -- you-name-it -- came flooding back.

>

> Especially the terror. I am terrified that I could maybe end up going back

> to

> all that. Does it never end?

>

I really see a comparison between these feelings and the ones I had when my

husband cheated on me. Very similar, actually. And the recovery from the

infidelity seems similar to my recovery from morbid obesity. I don't think

the pain, or more accurately, the vivid memory of the pain, ever goes away

completely. But it gradually becomes less and less a primary factor in my

life. It's still there, some days are definitely more wrapped up in it than

others - but, it fades away. I don't expect it will ever be gone completely,

and I don't want it to be really. I need to keep a bit of the edge to help

me move forward with improving and focusing on my life and relationships.

Kate

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 11/7/2002 1:09:15 AM Pacific Standard Time,

tuesdynite@... writes:

> All the pain, humiliation, terror, self-hatred, frustration, agony,

> recrimination, guilt, disgust -- you-name-it -- came flooding back.

>

> Especially the terror. I am terrified that I could maybe end up going back

> to

> all that. Does it never end?

>

I really see a comparison between these feelings and the ones I had when my

husband cheated on me. Very similar, actually. And the recovery from the

infidelity seems similar to my recovery from morbid obesity. I don't think

the pain, or more accurately, the vivid memory of the pain, ever goes away

completely. But it gradually becomes less and less a primary factor in my

life. It's still there, some days are definitely more wrapped up in it than

others - but, it fades away. I don't expect it will ever be gone completely,

and I don't want it to be really. I need to keep a bit of the edge to help

me move forward with improving and focusing on my life and relationships.

Kate

[Guest guest]

What bothered me about that show of Oprah's yesterday, was that in about the

last 15 minutes, she had a gal on that had lost 300 lbs, and Oprah made the

comment that she did it the hard way, that she didn't take the " easy way

out " . That bugged me. Like WLS is the " easy way out " !!!! Bobbie

Manchester, WA

what it's like to be fat

> Just wondering if anyone saw the Oprah Winfrey show today on the above

> subject. I am still sitting here, crying. All the pain, humiliation,

terror,

> self-hatred, frustration, agony, recrimination, guilt, disgust --

you-name-it

> -- came flooding back.

>

> Especially the terror. I am terrified that I could maybe end up going back

to

> all that. Does it never end?

>

> Carol A

>

> Homepage: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG

>

> Unsubscribe: mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

What bothered me about that show of Oprah's yesterday, was that in about the

last 15 minutes, she had a gal on that had lost 300 lbs, and Oprah made the

comment that she did it the hard way, that she didn't take the " easy way

out " . That bugged me. Like WLS is the " easy way out " !!!! Bobbie

Manchester, WA

what it's like to be fat

> Just wondering if anyone saw the Oprah Winfrey show today on the above

> subject. I am still sitting here, crying. All the pain, humiliation,

terror,

> self-hatred, frustration, agony, recrimination, guilt, disgust --

you-name-it

> -- came flooding back.

>

> Especially the terror. I am terrified that I could maybe end up going back

to

> all that. Does it never end?

>

> Carol A

>

> Homepage: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG

>

> Unsubscribe: mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Of course it ends. What would be the point in having the surgery and

making so many life changes if we are destined to live in fear and

misery? Surgery is the tool to promote the weight loss, but it's up

to us as individuals to learn tools to stop the mental self abuse we

impose on ourselves. Our memories of our past suffering are tools

also, as they are reminders of a life we no longer want, and without

that knowledge, we wouldn't have the motivation or desire to make the

courageous attempt at change.

We have to make a concious effort to learn to be happy and

comfortable after so many years of living in an unhappy state. This

is hard...for most of us being happy feels like an unatural state.

Being happy feels uncomfortable and many of us have the sense of

waiting for the other shoe to drop (or regaining weight, or failing).

It takes time to build self-esteem and feel deserving. As someone

pointed out on an earlier post, it is only by repeated small

successes and changes in behavior that we begin to gain confidence.

It is extremely important for us, in my opinion, to take a mental or

written inventory at the end of the day where we acknowledge our

successes, even if it is only to say " well, I didn't binge today, so

that's a good thing " or " I was nice to people today " . Many people

walk around during the day unconciously taking negative inventories

of themselves, pointing out their failures or " less thans " to

themselves, and this negative self talk in every way is believed by

us and defines our state of mind overall.

I CHOOSE to let go of fear. A friend told me last night that when

she has anger, resentments or fear, she has the responsibility to let

it reside with her or not. When she recognizes a resentment against

someone at work, for instance (otherwise known as being p.o.'d at

some jerk!) she asks herself whether she wants to feel this

resentment or just let it go. When she doesn't want to let it go and

she really wants to think about it, she'll say " OK, I'm going to give

myself 5 minutes to stew in this " . At the end of 5 minutes, she asks

herself " have I had enough? Do I feel better now? Can I let go of

this? " If she needs more time, she gives herself another 5 minutes.

And she does this until she's sick of it or realizes the futility of

it all, and then she lets it go, gives it up, and doesn't think about

it anymore.

I haven't tried this tool yet, but I will. It sounds better than my

habit of carrying around " baggage " for days, weeks, months, even

years.

And the FREEDOM is phenomenal! The freedom to love oneself and to

enjoy life.

Abraham Lincoln has a saying which goes something like this:

" Everyone is just about as happy as he makes up his mind to be. "

Well, I'm nothing if not opinionated, but there's my 2 cents. I could

be wrong, could be right....just trying to find my way best I can.

And the journey IS fun!!!

Smiles,

Vicki A.

> Just wondering if anyone saw the Oprah Winfrey show today on the

above

> subject. I am still sitting here, crying. All the pain,

humiliation, terror,

> self-hatred, frustration, agony, recrimination, guilt, disgust --

you-name-it

> -- came flooding back.

>

> Especially the terror. I am terrified that I could maybe end up

going back to

> all that. Does it never end?

>

> Carol A

[Guest guest]

<< In a message dated 11/7/02 5:55:35 PM West Asia Standard Time,

watnext@... writes:

<< Oh, I'm certainly not denying her accomplishments. She's a brilliant

woman

and has worked incredibly hard to get where she is and, yes, she's quite

the

philanthropist. BUT, when it comes to weight loss (for the morbidly

obese),

she just can't see the forest for the trees. I just wish she was a little

more open minded. >>

-----------------------------------

I think she's blinded by the fact that SHE was able to do it " the hard way "

and so figures (and she has said so many times, in fact) that if SHE can do

it, anyone can.

Carol A >>

[Guest guest]

Oprah made the

comment that she did it the hard way, that she didn't take the " easy way

out " . That bugged me. Like WLS is the " easy way out " !!!!

________________________________________________________

So if everyone heard it, it must be true. I can't find where she said this.

Was it with the black lady at the end? The daughter of the singer? I just

reviewed thru the tape of the show and can't find the comment that is

attributed to Oprah by so many of you. Help me out here.... I wanna hear it

too.....

Randy

rlogle@...

www.geocities.com/rogle32/

AIM: rlogleeln

Open RNY: Sept. 26, 2001: 202 lbs gone.

Daddy to Doogun, Jasper, and Zoe.

Lord, Please help me to become the Person

my Dog's think I am.

what it's like to be fat

>

>

> > Just wondering if anyone saw the Oprah Winfrey show today on the above

> > subject. I am still sitting here, crying. All the pain, humiliation,

> terror,

> > self-hatred, frustration, agony, recrimination, guilt, disgust --

> you-name-it

> > -- came flooding back.

> >

> > Especially the terror. I am terrified that I could maybe end up going

back

> to

> > all that. Does it never end?

> >

> > Carol A

> >

> > Homepage: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG

> >

> > Unsubscribe: mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

She has taken it off, but which time has it STAYED off?

M

Re: Re: what it's like to be fat

>

> << In a message dated 11/7/02 5:55:35 PM West Asia Standard Time,

> watnext@... writes:

>

> << Oh, I'm certainly not denying her accomplishments. She's a brilliant

> woman

> and has worked incredibly hard to get where she is and, yes, she's quite

> the

> philanthropist. BUT, when it comes to weight loss (for the morbidly

> obese),

> she just can't see the forest for the trees. I just wish she was a

little

> more open minded. >>

> -----------------------------------

>

> I think she's blinded by the fact that SHE was able to do it " the hard

way "

> and so figures (and she has said so many times, in fact) that if SHE can

do

> it, anyone can.

>

> Carol A >>

>

> Homepage: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG

>

> Unsubscribe: mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I didn't see the Oprah show and while it makes me very upset to think

she's saying anything that would make people feel badly about having

WLS, I have to be honest and say that compared to all the diets I tried,

WLS was soooooo much easier. Yes, the decision to have surgery was hard

and certainly those first few days after surgery were hard but the 17

months since then have been a breeze compared to dieting. Even now when

I am often struggling with my sweet cravings (and failing to curb them)

I find I'm still losing at least a couple pounds every month. I know

that isn't the case with everyone but when people ask me about my

surgery and how things have been since then I always tell them I was a

poster child for the surgery - no problems, no complications. All in

all it has been easy. I think calling it the " easy way " might make

people feel guilty about considering it and that is a terrible thing,

but IMO, it was the " easiest " way (and only way) for me.

RNY 6/4/01 -158

[Guest guest]

It was during the last 15 minutes of the show. It was a black lady who had

lost 300 lbs that Oprah made that comment about. Bobbie

what it's like to be fat

> >

> >

> > > Just wondering if anyone saw the Oprah Winfrey show today on the above

> > > subject. I am still sitting here, crying. All the pain, humiliation,

> > terror,

> > > self-hatred, frustration, agony, recrimination, guilt, disgust --

> > you-name-it

> > > -- came flooding back.

> > >

> > > Especially the terror. I am terrified that I could maybe end up going

> back

> > to

> > > all that. Does it never end?

> > >

> > > Carol A

> > >

> > > Homepage: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG

> > >

> > > Unsubscribe: mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

[Guest guest]

It was toward the end of the show...when she was talking to

....the one that lost 300 lbs in a year. If you do the math on that

one, you'll see that she had to sustain a weight loss that would be

impossible even for us WLS'ers! (25 lbs a month...4 lbs a week sustained?) I

really don't believe this girl lost all that weight doing the OA program

alone! Something is fishy there...don't you think?

Regards~

´¨¨)) -:¦:-

¸.·´ .·´¨¨))

((¸¸.·´ ..·´ -:¦:- Jacque

-:¦:- ((¸¸.·´*

www.jacquemiller.gasupusa.com

Discount Gasoline! Save 21%

with a Costco-like membership!

Ask me how!

> So if everyone heard it, it must be true. I can't find where she said this.

> Was it with the black lady at the end? The daughter of the singer? I just

> reviewed thru the tape of the show and can't find the comment that is

> attributed to Oprah by so many of you. Help me out here.... I wanna hear it

> too.....

> Randy

> rlogle@...

> www.geocities.com/rogle32/

> AIM: rlogleeln

> Open RNY: Sept. 26, 2001: 202 lbs gone.

> Daddy to Doogun, Jasper, and Zoe.

> Lord, Please help me to become the Person

> my Dog's think I am.

>

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 11/7/02 6:09:15 PM West Asia Standard Time,

bobbielee11344@... writes:

<< What bothered me about that show of Oprah's yesterday, was that in about

the

last 15 minutes, she had a gal on that had lost 300 lbs, and Oprah made the

comment that she did it the hard way, that she didn't take the " easy way

out " . That bugged me. Like WLS is the " easy way out " !!!! Bobbie

Manchester, WA >>

---------------------------

Well, I guess it's all relative and everyone's entitled to their opinion.

Even as a WLS post-op, I tend to think the surgery is not necessarily THE

easy way out, but certainly at least somewhat easiER than everything else

I've tried, simply bcuz I feel like I've got an even chance of succeeding,

whereas before, the conclusion was always a foregone one: I was gonna gain

all the weight back and then some. I don't feel that way anymore. And even

though every day is a struggle, it's not as BIG a struggle as the " old way "

was -- the yo-yo dieting, the self-recrimination every time I took a bite of

" forbidden " food, the doomed feeling that it would all be in vain.......

C'mon, y'all, don't you really think this is not as hard as all the other

methods you tried? All things considered, and looking at the big

picture.........?

Carol A

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 11/09/2002 2:23:32 AM Eastern Standard Time,

tuesdynite@... writes:

> C'mon, y'all, don't you really think this is not as hard as all the other

> methods you tried

The difference is that we have a fighting chance to keep it off. Before, we

had no choice, now we do assuming our mechanicals are still in good shape.

Fay Bayuk

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 11/7/02 9:50:55 PM West Asia Standard Time,

vickiang@... writes:

<< Many people

walk around during the day unconciously taking negative inventories

of themselves, pointing out their failures or " less thans " to

themselves, and this negative self talk in every way is believed by

us and defines our state of mind overall. >>

----------------------------

Y'know, Vicki, this was a good reminder. I DO spend a lot more time beating

myself up for not doing everything perfectly every day and for not being able

to get off this damned plateau, and it makes me so worried that this is ALL

I'm ever gonna lose.

Carol A

[Guest guest]

One thought is that she is 's Daughter and is starting her

singing career. She said she is coming out with an album., " Publicity

Stunt " maybe. Fay Bayuk