Re: happy dance! and serious stuff...

[Guest guest]

Thank you all for the encouragement. It does feel good to be in a smaller

size. On a more serious note...

I've being seeing a therapist to try to resolve some recent & old issues.

Among them is my relationship with food and being smaller in size. The

smaller I get the more vulnerable I FEEL. The effects of going from a size

28/30 to a size 14 in the last 18 months has been a roller coaster of

emotions for me. I'm am grateful to have my life back, feel & look better,

but the inside of me feels odd or different, er, I'm not sure how to describe

it. Being smaller in size to me (some days) is scary. I'm not invisible

anymore. On good days, I smile at strangers, talk to people in stores, and

feel good about the " new me, " but on bad days, I feel a little fragile,

vulnerable, and afraid and don't want to leave the security of my home. Sigh.

Does this go away? Or is the " new smaller me " going to be timid? LOL. Can

anyone on the list give me some feedback on this topic? I've lurked on the

list for months and felt funny writing about this subject, but I figure, what

the heck...Someone the list my have experienced the same.

BTW... a dear friend sent me a copy of a book called Legacy of the Heart. I'm

reading it and it helps somewhat, but is also very hard since it deals with

painful childhood experiences & advises how to use those negative experiences

to our advantage. Tough reading, and hard work, but I'm hoping the pay off

will be immeasurable. Thanks for listening.

Rose

Houston/Dr. Harberg 05/01

315/184