Re: feeling happy where you are

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/10/2002 8:05:39 PM Pacific Standard Time,

laurie.torgerson.rn@... writes:

> does anyone ever feel un-happy where they are?

All the time, on an almost daily basis, I battle those negative self-image

tapes. I *know* I've lost a lot of weight; I *know* I look (and feel much

better). But, I never think of myself, or refer to myself as thin, or even

thinner. I refer to myself as " not as big " . Almost every day I look at a

body part and think " you need to do better " . I look at other women and think

" that's what I want to look like - that's the body that would make me happy. "

One afternoon my husband and I spent the afternoon trying to point out other

people that had the same body size as me. Really pointed out that we have

very different images! He sees me at about a size 6; I see me at about a

size 14. The reality is a size 10 (except for some of my tailored slacks

which insist on seeing me as a size 12).

Now, does this drive me nuts? Surprisingly, no! I recognize that my image

is distorted, and probably always will be. I'm okay with that for the most

part. I recognize that I am not willing to diet myself into submission to

lose another 10 or 20 lbs. And mostly, I recognize that even if I did, I

*still* would not be happy! I will never be 20 again, or have the body of a

20 year old, which is what I'd really like!

I liken it to the washing dishes dilemna: when I was a kid, I dreamed of

having a dishwasher as the thing that would make me happy about cleaning the

kitchen. When I got older and we had a dishwasher, I dreamed of having a

housekeeper or someone else to load and unload it. I'm never really

satisfied, but I am pretty damned content - and I think both of those are

good things.

Kate

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/10/2002 8:05:39 PM Pacific Standard Time,

laurie.torgerson.rn@... writes:

> does anyone ever feel un-happy where they are?

All the time, on an almost daily basis, I battle those negative self-image

tapes. I *know* I've lost a lot of weight; I *know* I look (and feel much

better). But, I never think of myself, or refer to myself as thin, or even

thinner. I refer to myself as " not as big " . Almost every day I look at a

body part and think " you need to do better " . I look at other women and think

" that's what I want to look like - that's the body that would make me happy. "

One afternoon my husband and I spent the afternoon trying to point out other

people that had the same body size as me. Really pointed out that we have

very different images! He sees me at about a size 6; I see me at about a

size 14. The reality is a size 10 (except for some of my tailored slacks

which insist on seeing me as a size 12).

Now, does this drive me nuts? Surprisingly, no! I recognize that my image

is distorted, and probably always will be. I'm okay with that for the most

part. I recognize that I am not willing to diet myself into submission to

lose another 10 or 20 lbs. And mostly, I recognize that even if I did, I

*still* would not be happy! I will never be 20 again, or have the body of a

20 year old, which is what I'd really like!

I liken it to the washing dishes dilemna: when I was a kid, I dreamed of

having a dishwasher as the thing that would make me happy about cleaning the

kitchen. When I got older and we had a dishwasher, I dreamed of having a

housekeeper or someone else to load and unload it. I'm never really

satisfied, but I am pretty damned content - and I think both of those are

good things.

Kate

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/10/2002 11:09:30 PM Central Standard Time,

kateseidel@... writes:

> I liken it to the washing dishes dilemna: when I was a kid, I dreamed of

> having a dishwasher as the thing that would make me happy about cleaning

> the

> kitchen. When I got older and we had a dishwasher, I dreamed of having a

> housekeeper or someone else to load and unload it. I'm never really

> satisfied, but I am pretty damned content - and I think both of those are

> good things.

>

How very wise you are! Thanks for sharing that comparison!

Dianne

[Guest guest]

Laurie,

I can totally relate to that feeling -- I've lost 173 lbs. and STILL weigh

well over 300 lbs -- at the same place where a lot of people started. And I

see people who have lost the same amount of weight in the same amount of

time and are down to goal at this point. It's frustrating, that's for

sure -- especially when I know there's no chance in hell I'll ever make it

anywhere near goal on my own at this point.

So I focus on the things in life that have improved (my health, my mobility,

etc.) and try not to let the fact that I'm still huge bother me so much.

It's hard, though.

Becke

Open RNY 5/7/01

-173 lbs.

502/329/150

feeling happy where you are

> hi all. i am not new to the group; have been lurking for a while but i do

have a question. does anyone ever feel un-happy where they are? meaning, i

was 300 lbs and a 3x/24W and now am 175 size 14/L and sometimes M. i am

5'6 " and most of the time i feel good about where i am at. i have some

loose skin and some wonderful jiggly thighs and floppy stomach but other

than that, i am ok with me. but does anyone ever feel like they failed cuz

to society they are still overweight? i find myself jealous that others

have lost more, weigh less, wear smaller sizes and all that good stuff.

anyone else out there and is there a way to just be happy? i had to

unscribe to one site cuz it was too much for me to compare and i was really

down on myself. thank's for listening and any advice is appreciated.

>

> laurie

> --

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>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Laurie. I am also a lurker, who didn't even bother to post at my

1 year mark, just because I didn't have anything earth shattering to

share. but your post struck a chord in me. I had my RNY in May of

2001, and am hanging around the 185 lb mark, from my starting weight

of 318. I wear a size 14 jeans, large tops, and size 12 in most other

things, I'm also 5'6 " , though I am an honest to god large boned person

.. I haven't lost any significant weight in a few months,and I can't

bring myself to be to too upset about it. I remember being a freshman

in high school and being very thin (125 lbs) and still wearing a size

10. So for someone who was morbidly obese for 11 years and the mother

of two children, I just can't bring myself to be upset about size 14

and 185 lbs. To some that sounds huge, but its all a matter of

perspective.

Do I look at myself sometimes and say " hey why can't you just get

that last bit of wieght off?? " sure sometimes I do. Honestly though,

I eat healthy for the most part, am supplementing with protein, taking

my vitamins, excercise regularly, and am no slouch in the water

department. I am not going to 'diet " off those last 20 lbs, just

because " soceity " including this little internet one, thinks a size 14

is still on the big side. Well damn it, I may be on the big side, but

I happen to love my boobs that didn't disappear (thank the good lord

above), my small waist, and my big hips. My tummy could be flatter,

sure, but that too doesn't upset me, and even if I could get insurance

to pay for most of it, a tummy tuck isn't in the financial cards right

now.

So here I am, and you know what? I'm thrilled with myself. I feel

sexy and good, and am proud of taking good care of my health for the

first time in my life. We can't all be size 6 or 8 or whatever, but

we can be OUR personal best.

Open RNY 5/16/01

Dr Todd in Anchorage, AK

Starting weight 318.5

Current Weight 185

-- In Graduate-OSSG@y..., " laurie torgerson "

wrote:

> hi all. i am not new to the group; have been lurking for a while

but i do have a question. does anyone ever feel un-happy where they

are? meaning, i was 300 lbs and a 3x/24W and now am 175 size 14/L and

sometimes M. i am 5'6 " and most of the time i feel good about where i

am at. i have some loose skin and some wonderful jiggly thighs and

floppy stomach but other than that, i am ok with me. but does anyone

ever feel like they failed cuz to society they are still overweight?

i find myself jealous that others have lost more, weigh less, wear

smaller sizes and all that good stuff. anyone else out there and is

there a way to just be happy? i had to unscribe to one site cuz it

was too much for me to compare and i was really down on myself.

thank's for listening and any advice is appreciated.

>

> laurie

> --

> __________________________________________________________

> Sign-up for your own FREE Personalized E-mail at Mail.com

> http://www.mail.com/?sr=signup

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> Save up to $160 by signing up for NetZero Platinum Internet service.

> http://www.netzero.net/?refcd=N2P0602NEP8

[Guest guest]

Hi Laurie. I am also a lurker, who didn't even bother to post at my

1 year mark, just because I didn't have anything earth shattering to

share. but your post struck a chord in me. I had my RNY in May of

2001, and am hanging around the 185 lb mark, from my starting weight

of 318. I wear a size 14 jeans, large tops, and size 12 in most other

things, I'm also 5'6 " , though I am an honest to god large boned person

.. I haven't lost any significant weight in a few months,and I can't

bring myself to be to too upset about it. I remember being a freshman

in high school and being very thin (125 lbs) and still wearing a size

10. So for someone who was morbidly obese for 11 years and the mother

of two children, I just can't bring myself to be upset about size 14

and 185 lbs. To some that sounds huge, but its all a matter of

perspective.

Do I look at myself sometimes and say " hey why can't you just get

that last bit of wieght off?? " sure sometimes I do. Honestly though,

I eat healthy for the most part, am supplementing with protein, taking

my vitamins, excercise regularly, and am no slouch in the water

department. I am not going to 'diet " off those last 20 lbs, just

because " soceity " including this little internet one, thinks a size 14

is still on the big side. Well damn it, I may be on the big side, but

I happen to love my boobs that didn't disappear (thank the good lord

above), my small waist, and my big hips. My tummy could be flatter,

sure, but that too doesn't upset me, and even if I could get insurance

to pay for most of it, a tummy tuck isn't in the financial cards right

now.

So here I am, and you know what? I'm thrilled with myself. I feel

sexy and good, and am proud of taking good care of my health for the

first time in my life. We can't all be size 6 or 8 or whatever, but

we can be OUR personal best.

Open RNY 5/16/01

Dr Todd in Anchorage, AK

Starting weight 318.5

Current Weight 185

-- In Graduate-OSSG@y..., " laurie torgerson "

wrote:

> hi all. i am not new to the group; have been lurking for a while

but i do have a question. does anyone ever feel un-happy where they

are? meaning, i was 300 lbs and a 3x/24W and now am 175 size 14/L and

sometimes M. i am 5'6 " and most of the time i feel good about where i

am at. i have some loose skin and some wonderful jiggly thighs and

floppy stomach but other than that, i am ok with me. but does anyone

ever feel like they failed cuz to society they are still overweight?

i find myself jealous that others have lost more, weigh less, wear

smaller sizes and all that good stuff. anyone else out there and is

there a way to just be happy? i had to unscribe to one site cuz it

was too much for me to compare and i was really down on myself.

thank's for listening and any advice is appreciated.

>

> laurie

> --

> __________________________________________________________

> Sign-up for your own FREE Personalized E-mail at Mail.com

> http://www.mail.com/?sr=signup

>

> Save up to $160 by signing up for NetZero Platinum Internet service.

> http://www.netzero.net/?refcd=N2P0602NEP8

[Guest guest]

Hi Laurie, I am 13 months out....down to 213 from 333 and though my

goal is another 50 pounds or so....I truly feel that if I did not

loose another pound I will be satisfied. Being down 120 pounds has

GREATLY improved my quality of life & that was what I was shooting

for. I can go to the Zoo and make it the whole day without huffing &

puffing (unless of course its 90 degrees out and everyone is huffing

& puffing)....so Yes I definitely feel happy where I am!! Good Luck

to you. Karan

> hi all. i am not new to the group; have been lurking for a while

but i do have a question. does anyone ever feel un-happy where they

are? meaning, i was 300 lbs and a 3x/24W and now am 175 size 14/L

and sometimes M. i am 5'6 " and most of the time i feel good about

where i am at. i have some loose skin and some wonderful jiggly

thighs and floppy stomach but other than that, i am ok with me. but

does anyone ever feel like they failed cuz to society they are still

overweight? i find myself jealous that others have lost more, weigh

less, wear smaller sizes and all that good stuff. anyone else out

there and is there a way to just be happy? i had to unscribe to one

site cuz it was too much for me to compare and i was really down on

myself. thank's for listening and any advice is appreciated.

>

> laurie

> --

> __________________________________________________________

> Sign-up for your own FREE Personalized E-mail at Mail.com

> http://www.mail.com/?sr=signup

>

> Save up to $160 by signing up for NetZero Platinum Internet service.

> http://www.netzero.net/?refcd=N2P0602NEP8

[Guest guest]

I remember when I hit 180 from 310. I felt so good and said I would be happy

if I never lost another pound because my health and quality of living was so

much better. That was 8 months out. Now, 18 months out and still at 180, I'm

no longer happy. I wanted more and expected more. I know how far I've come and

I'm sooooo happy about that, but the vanity issue is there I guess. The weight

around my stomach keeps me from buying smaller clothes that would truly make me

look better. I try to keep focused on the health issues and that helps, but

it's not everything.

in Akron

chance2lv2001 starseer5@...> wrote: Hi Laurie, I am 13 months out....down

to 213 from 333 and though my

goal is another 50 pounds or so....I truly feel that if I did not

loose another pound I will be satisfied. Being down 120 pounds has

GREATLY improved my quality of life & that was what I was shooting

for. I can go to the Zoo and make it the whole day without huffing &

puffing (unless of course its 90 degrees out and everyone is huffing

& puffing)....so Yes I definitely feel happy where I am!! Good Luck

to you. Karan

> hi all. i am not new to the group; have been lurking for a while

but i do have a question. does anyone ever feel un-happy where they

are? meaning, i was 300 lbs and a 3x/24W and now am 175 size 14/L

and sometimes M. i am 5'6 " and most of the time i feel good about

where i am at. i have some loose skin and some wonderful jiggly

thighs and floppy stomach but other than that, i am ok with me. but

does anyone ever feel like they failed cuz to society they are still

overweight? i find myself jealous that others have lost more, weigh

less, wear smaller sizes and all that good stuff. anyone else out

there and is there a way to just be happy? i had to unscribe to one

site cuz it was too much for me to compare and i was really down on

myself. thank's for listening and any advice is appreciated.

>

> laurie

> --

> __________________________________________________________

> Sign-up for your own FREE Personalized E-mail at Mail.com

> http://www.mail.com/?sr=signup

>

> Save up to $160 by signing up for NetZero Platinum Internet service.

> http://www.netzero.net/?refcd=N2P0602NEP8

Homepage: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG

Unsubscribe: mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe

[Guest guest]

You know, you are probably right....At this point in the game, it's

still relatively new - I guess I will have to wait and see how I feel

at 18 mos & 2 years out.....I admit, I have a tad bit of vanity in

me.....Karan

-- In Graduate-OSSG@y..., Faulkner wrote:

>

> I remember when I hit 180 from 310. I felt so good and said I

would be happy if I never lost another pound because my health and ...

[Guest guest]

Hi Laurie,

I posted this a while back and it was published this winter in Beyond Change

a great little newsletter many of you might enjoy if you aren't familiar with

it.. but maybe it'll help to repeat it for you now...

Best wishes, Carol

FINDING YOUR SWEET SPOT

by Carol Signore, MAT, MS, LMFT

Yesterday I read a sad post online. It was written by Tierney Marie, a girl

whose weight loss surgery result is as beautiful as her name. I feel like I

know her even though we've never met. She lost 150 pounds in 14 months and

wears a size 14 now. Her wide arrays of serious, pre-surgical, medical

problems have all but disappeared and her health has never been better.

Unhappily it isn't enough. Tierney Marie feels desperate to keep the pounds

coming off. She wants to wear a size 8.

Two years ago Tierney Marie was afraid she might not live to see her daughter

graduate from high school. The possibility of buying her clothes in the

" regular department " was a fantasy akin to wining the lottery.

Today Tierney Marie dreams of being super slim and is prepared for extreme

measures to meet her goal. Her weight loss has slowed to a creep, maybe even

stopped, and her 'honeymoon' -that 12-18 month window of opportunity for

losing weight after surgery- is clearly drawing to a close. Fear and anxiety

are becoming constant companions and old compulsive eating behaviors are

lurking once again. Her hunger has returned with force and tiny little

portions no longer fill her up. Tierney is terrified! She is also at a

critical point in her WLS recovery.

I wrote to Tierney Marie. I wanted to congratulate her on her fabulous weight

loss. I also wanted to suggest that the expectations we have for weight loss

surgery sometimes need to be re-examined as our 'honeymoon' phases draw to a

close.

After three years of coming to terms with my own surgery results, and 15

years of clinical practice in eating and weight disorders, I think one of the

great secrets to WLS success has little to do with weight and everything to

do with body image and self acceptance. The numbers on the scale aren't

what's crucial, but what we think about them is. A certain amount of

acceptance and knowing what is 'enough' is essential to recovery from weight

loss surgery as it is to other recoveries related to eating behaviors. We

need to develop acceptance about what is 'enough' to eat and acceptance about

what is 'enough' to look like. It's a kind of personal 'sweet spot', a place

where our weight levels out and stability is manageable with reasonable care.

If we have established healthy eating and exercise plans by that point, and

if we continue to follow them, (two big ifs) we may continue to lose a bit

more over time. I'm not sure it is ever as much as many of us come to want.

It is probably 'enough'.

Many of us are intoxicated by our own success and the extraordinary

compliments we receive as the pounds melt away. Some of us rationalize that

we are merely 'going for the gold' as our egos inflate like little hot air

balloons and we grow ever more determined to join the ranks of the emaciated

like Kate and Lara and Allie.. It may seem like a perfect route to righteous

revenge or an ideal angry pay back, but linking arms with the icons of our

thin-obsessed culture won't erase the years of pain and humiliation that all

morbidly obese people have endured. Even with surgical help a personal

history characterized by compulsive overeating and morbid obesity doesn't

argue very convincingly for a long run as Twiggy. Remember that those who

refuse to learn from history are condemned to repeat it.

We all reach a place in the end where we must carefully define what 'enough'

really is. That's how we find our balance. And that's how we find our 'sweet

spot'. Often this insight comes at the moment when we feel most out of

control, like the place where Tierney Marie is now. When terror has us in its

grip, that's when we let go of cultural edicts and fantasy selves and shake

hands, at last, with our own reality, our own biology. Accepting this reality

means being fair and reasonable with our bodies and our expectations.

Balancing can't happen unless we let it.

How well have we learned to nourish our new selves post honeymoon? How do we

view and feel about our 'thinner' bodies? When and what is good enough? These

data are more crucial than any numbers on the scale. Unless we make peace

with what is 'enough' for us we will probably continue to battle food and

weight long after our surgeries.

For those who keep a journal during their experience (and I highly recommend

the practice!) it helps to go back at the end of the honeymoon and reread

early entries about the reasons that prompted surgery in the first place.

What were the most important goals? Have we achieved them? Tierney Marie

needs to do this now.

Whatever formula you develop is yours alone and the ingredients for each

'sweet spot' are probably as individual as each of us. I agree with many

nutritionists about increasing protein consumption during periods of frequent

cravings or weight fluctuation ...especially for those who have had distal

surgeries... but less sugar, fewer carbs and more exercise are probably just

as effective for most proximals. Following your personal 'sweet spot' formula

must become as natural as breathing. Long-term maintenance depends on long

term commitment. Handling rough patches requires a long list of dependable

strategies. It also helps to remember that rough patches smooth out

eventually.

I think each of us comes to a very 'sweet spot' after our weight loss surgery

honeymoon. But we need to recognize it when we see it. This balancing phase

of WLS is the most critical phase of recovery. It is where real success is

determined. Not the surgeon's skill (although that's clearly important), not

the rate of loss, not the clothes size achieved, or the compliments

collected. True success is acquiring that lower healthy weight and the

ability to maintain it. Sound familiar?? It's like every diet we ever went on

in the old days, right? No. Now we have our new small pouch to help us....

It's our 'secret' weapon for knowing how much food is 'enough'.

Once you find your 'sweet spot', embrace it! Go with the grace and balance of

that safe, stable, GOOD ENOUGH place for you. In my experience, people have a

terrible time maintaining when they force their weight down below their

'sweet spots'. I suspect that kind of pushing may actually be one of the

reasons for the oft' mentioned 'bounce'. You can't fool Mother Nature! Well,

you can but it's costly!

Perfectionism sometimes stalks us all after this surgery. Most of us have

never dreamed of so much success and I think we can be excused for getting

carried away by it a bit at times...especially in the early stages. But if we

don't come to grips with a reasonable place to land eventually, and learn to

know what is 'enough', I think we are in trouble. We set ourselves up again

for too much deprivation, too little self-satisfaction and the inevitable

turbulence that results from trying to adapt to the storm instead of finding

shelter and staying out of harm's way.

I wish Tierney Marie and all of us peaceful ports in the storm. And I hope we

all recognize the shelter of our very own " sweet spots " when we find them.

[Guest guest]

Hi Laurie,

I posted this a while back and it was published this winter in Beyond Change

a great little newsletter many of you might enjoy if you aren't familiar with

it.. but maybe it'll help to repeat it for you now...

Best wishes, Carol

FINDING YOUR SWEET SPOT

by Carol Signore, MAT, MS, LMFT

Yesterday I read a sad post online. It was written by Tierney Marie, a girl

whose weight loss surgery result is as beautiful as her name. I feel like I

know her even though we've never met. She lost 150 pounds in 14 months and

wears a size 14 now. Her wide arrays of serious, pre-surgical, medical

problems have all but disappeared and her health has never been better.

Unhappily it isn't enough. Tierney Marie feels desperate to keep the pounds

coming off. She wants to wear a size 8.

Two years ago Tierney Marie was afraid she might not live to see her daughter

graduate from high school. The possibility of buying her clothes in the

" regular department " was a fantasy akin to wining the lottery.

Today Tierney Marie dreams of being super slim and is prepared for extreme

measures to meet her goal. Her weight loss has slowed to a creep, maybe even

stopped, and her 'honeymoon' -that 12-18 month window of opportunity for

losing weight after surgery- is clearly drawing to a close. Fear and anxiety

are becoming constant companions and old compulsive eating behaviors are

lurking once again. Her hunger has returned with force and tiny little

portions no longer fill her up. Tierney is terrified! She is also at a

critical point in her WLS recovery.

I wrote to Tierney Marie. I wanted to congratulate her on her fabulous weight

loss. I also wanted to suggest that the expectations we have for weight loss

surgery sometimes need to be re-examined as our 'honeymoon' phases draw to a

close.

After three years of coming to terms with my own surgery results, and 15

years of clinical practice in eating and weight disorders, I think one of the

great secrets to WLS success has little to do with weight and everything to

do with body image and self acceptance. The numbers on the scale aren't

what's crucial, but what we think about them is. A certain amount of

acceptance and knowing what is 'enough' is essential to recovery from weight

loss surgery as it is to other recoveries related to eating behaviors. We

need to develop acceptance about what is 'enough' to eat and acceptance about

what is 'enough' to look like. It's a kind of personal 'sweet spot', a place

where our weight levels out and stability is manageable with reasonable care.

If we have established healthy eating and exercise plans by that point, and

if we continue to follow them, (two big ifs) we may continue to lose a bit

more over time. I'm not sure it is ever as much as many of us come to want.

It is probably 'enough'.

Many of us are intoxicated by our own success and the extraordinary

compliments we receive as the pounds melt away. Some of us rationalize that

we are merely 'going for the gold' as our egos inflate like little hot air

balloons and we grow ever more determined to join the ranks of the emaciated

like Kate and Lara and Allie.. It may seem like a perfect route to righteous

revenge or an ideal angry pay back, but linking arms with the icons of our

thin-obsessed culture won't erase the years of pain and humiliation that all

morbidly obese people have endured. Even with surgical help a personal

history characterized by compulsive overeating and morbid obesity doesn't

argue very convincingly for a long run as Twiggy. Remember that those who

refuse to learn from history are condemned to repeat it.

We all reach a place in the end where we must carefully define what 'enough'

really is. That's how we find our balance. And that's how we find our 'sweet

spot'. Often this insight comes at the moment when we feel most out of

control, like the place where Tierney Marie is now. When terror has us in its

grip, that's when we let go of cultural edicts and fantasy selves and shake

hands, at last, with our own reality, our own biology. Accepting this reality

means being fair and reasonable with our bodies and our expectations.

Balancing can't happen unless we let it.

How well have we learned to nourish our new selves post honeymoon? How do we

view and feel about our 'thinner' bodies? When and what is good enough? These

data are more crucial than any numbers on the scale. Unless we make peace

with what is 'enough' for us we will probably continue to battle food and

weight long after our surgeries.

For those who keep a journal during their experience (and I highly recommend

the practice!) it helps to go back at the end of the honeymoon and reread

early entries about the reasons that prompted surgery in the first place.

What were the most important goals? Have we achieved them? Tierney Marie

needs to do this now.

Whatever formula you develop is yours alone and the ingredients for each

'sweet spot' are probably as individual as each of us. I agree with many

nutritionists about increasing protein consumption during periods of frequent

cravings or weight fluctuation ...especially for those who have had distal

surgeries... but less sugar, fewer carbs and more exercise are probably just

as effective for most proximals. Following your personal 'sweet spot' formula

must become as natural as breathing. Long-term maintenance depends on long

term commitment. Handling rough patches requires a long list of dependable

strategies. It also helps to remember that rough patches smooth out

eventually.

I think each of us comes to a very 'sweet spot' after our weight loss surgery

honeymoon. But we need to recognize it when we see it. This balancing phase

of WLS is the most critical phase of recovery. It is where real success is

determined. Not the surgeon's skill (although that's clearly important), not

the rate of loss, not the clothes size achieved, or the compliments

collected. True success is acquiring that lower healthy weight and the

ability to maintain it. Sound familiar?? It's like every diet we ever went on

in the old days, right? No. Now we have our new small pouch to help us....

It's our 'secret' weapon for knowing how much food is 'enough'.

Once you find your 'sweet spot', embrace it! Go with the grace and balance of

that safe, stable, GOOD ENOUGH place for you. In my experience, people have a

terrible time maintaining when they force their weight down below their

'sweet spots'. I suspect that kind of pushing may actually be one of the

reasons for the oft' mentioned 'bounce'. You can't fool Mother Nature! Well,

you can but it's costly!

Perfectionism sometimes stalks us all after this surgery. Most of us have

never dreamed of so much success and I think we can be excused for getting

carried away by it a bit at times...especially in the early stages. But if we

don't come to grips with a reasonable place to land eventually, and learn to

know what is 'enough', I think we are in trouble. We set ourselves up again

for too much deprivation, too little self-satisfaction and the inevitable

turbulence that results from trying to adapt to the storm instead of finding

shelter and staying out of harm's way.

I wish Tierney Marie and all of us peaceful ports in the storm. And I hope we

all recognize the shelter of our very own " sweet spots " when we find them.

[Guest guest]

I'm with you on that one! I would LOVE to lose about 50-60 lbs more. There are

times when, although I am ecstatic that I have been able to lose 114 and keep

off 80 of those pounds, but I really wish that there was something more that I

could have done to lose and additional 60 and keep it off.

Carol

Richmond, VA

>>> " laurie torgerson " laurie.torgerson.rn@...> 07/10/02 11:01PM >>>

hi all. i am not new to the group; have been lurking for a while but i do have

a question. does anyone ever feel un-happy where they are? meaning, i was 300

lbs and a 3x/24W and now am 175 size 14/L and sometimes M. i am 5'6 " and most

of the time i feel good about where i am at. i have some loose skin and some

wonderful jiggly thighs and floppy stomach but other than that, i am ok with me.

but does anyone ever feel like they failed cuz to society they are still

overweight? i find myself jealous that others have lost more, weigh less, wear

smaller sizes and all that good stuff. anyone else out there and is there a way

to just be happy? i had to unscribe to one site cuz it was too much for me to

compare and i was really down on myself. thank's for listening and any advice

is appreciated.

laurie

--

__________________________________________________________

Sign-up for your own FREE Personalized E-mail at Mail.com

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Unsubscribe: mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe

[Guest guest]

Carol, Thank you SOOOO very much for sharing that with us!! I

really like the concept of a " sweet spot " I am going to find mine!!

Karan

> Hi Laurie,

> I posted this a while back and it was published this winter in

Beyond Change

> a great little newsletter many of you might enjoy if you aren't

familiar with

> it.. but maybe it'll help to repeat it for you now...

> Best wishes, Carol

>

> FINDING YOUR SWEET SPOT

> by Carol Signore, MAT, MS, LMFT

>

> Yesterday I read a sad post online. It was written by Tierney

Marie, a girl

> whose weight loss surgery result is as beautiful as her name. I

feel like I

> know her even though we've never met. She lost 150 pounds in 14

months and

> wears a size 14 now. Her wide arrays of serious, pre-surgical,

medical

> problems have all but disappeared and her health has never been

better.

> Unhappily it isn't enough. Tierney Marie feels desperate to keep

the pounds

> coming off. She wants to wear a size 8.

>

> Two years ago Tierney Marie was afraid she might not live to see

her daughter

> graduate from high school. The possibility of buying her clothes in

the

> " regular department " was a fantasy akin to wining the lottery.

> Today Tierney Marie dreams of being super slim and is prepared for

extreme

> measures to meet her goal. Her weight loss has slowed to a creep,

maybe even

> stopped, and her 'honeymoon' -that 12-18 month window of

opportunity for

> losing weight after surgery- is clearly drawing to a close. Fear

and anxiety

> are becoming constant companions and old compulsive eating

behaviors are

> lurking once again. Her hunger has returned with force and tiny

little

> portions no longer fill her up. Tierney is terrified! She is also

at a

> critical point in her WLS recovery.

>

> I wrote to Tierney Marie. I wanted to congratulate her on her

fabulous weight

> loss. I also wanted to suggest that the expectations we have for

weight loss

> surgery sometimes need to be re-examined as our 'honeymoon' phases

draw to a

> close.

> After three years of coming to terms with my own surgery results,

and 15

> years of clinical practice in eating and weight disorders, I think

one of the

> great secrets to WLS success has little to do with weight and

everything to

> do with body image and self acceptance. The numbers on the scale

aren't

> what's crucial, but what we think about them is. A certain amount

of

> acceptance and knowing what is 'enough' is essential to recovery

from weight

> loss surgery as it is to other recoveries related to eating

behaviors. We

> need to develop acceptance about what is 'enough' to eat and

acceptance about

> what is 'enough' to look like. It's a kind of personal 'sweet

spot', a place

> where our weight levels out and stability is manageable with

reasonable care.

> If we have established healthy eating and exercise plans by that

point, and

> if we continue to follow them, (two big ifs) we may continue to

lose a bit

> more over time. I'm not sure it is ever as much as many of us come

to want.

> It is probably 'enough'.

>

> Many of us are intoxicated by our own success and the extraordinary

> compliments we receive as the pounds melt away. Some of us

rationalize that

> we are merely 'going for the gold' as our egos inflate like little

hot air

> balloons and we grow ever more determined to join the ranks of the

emaciated

> like Kate and Lara and Allie.. It may seem like a perfect route to

righteous

> revenge or an ideal angry pay back, but linking arms with the icons

of our

> thin-obsessed culture won't erase the years of pain and humiliation

that all

> morbidly obese people have endured. Even with surgical help a

personal

> history characterized by compulsive overeating and morbid obesity

doesn't

> argue very convincingly for a long run as Twiggy. Remember that

those who

> refuse to learn from history are condemned to repeat it.

>

> We all reach a place in the end where we must carefully define

what 'enough'

> really is. That's how we find our balance. And that's how we find

our 'sweet

> spot'. Often this insight comes at the moment when we feel most out

of

> control, like the place where Tierney Marie is now. When terror has

us in its

> grip, that's when we let go of cultural edicts and fantasy selves

and shake

> hands, at last, with our own reality, our own biology. Accepting

this reality

> means being fair and reasonable with our bodies and our

expectations.

> Balancing can't happen unless we let it.

>

> How well have we learned to nourish our new selves post honeymoon?

How do we

> view and feel about our 'thinner' bodies? When and what is good

enough? These

> data are more crucial than any numbers on the scale. Unless we make

peace

> with what is 'enough' for us we will probably continue to battle

food and

> weight long after our surgeries.

>

> For those who keep a journal during their experience (and I highly

recommend

> the practice!) it helps to go back at the end of the honeymoon and

reread

> early entries about the reasons that prompted surgery in the first

place.

> What were the most important goals? Have we achieved them? Tierney

Marie

> needs to do this now.

>

> Whatever formula you develop is yours alone and the ingredients for

each

> 'sweet spot' are probably as individual as each of us. I agree with

many

> nutritionists about increasing protein consumption during periods

of frequent

> cravings or weight fluctuation ...especially for those who have had

distal

> surgeries... but less sugar, fewer carbs and more exercise are

probably just

> as effective for most proximals. Following your personal 'sweet

spot' formula

> must become as natural as breathing. Long-term maintenance depends

on long

> term commitment. Handling rough patches requires a long list of

dependable

> strategies. It also helps to remember that rough patches smooth out

> eventually.

>

> I think each of us comes to a very 'sweet spot' after our weight

loss surgery

> honeymoon. But we need to recognize it when we see it. This

balancing phase

> of WLS is the most critical phase of recovery. It is where real

success is

> determined. Not the surgeon's skill (although that's clearly

important), not

> the rate of loss, not the clothes size achieved, or the compliments

> collected. True success is acquiring that lower healthy weight and

the

> ability to maintain it. Sound familiar?? It's like every diet we

ever went on

> in the old days, right? No. Now we have our new small pouch to help

us....

> It's our 'secret' weapon for knowing how much food is 'enough'.

>

> Once you find your 'sweet spot', embrace it! Go with the grace and

balance of

> that safe, stable, GOOD ENOUGH place for you. In my experience,

people have a

> terrible time maintaining when they force their weight down below

their

> 'sweet spots'. I suspect that kind of pushing may actually be one

of the

> reasons for the oft' mentioned 'bounce'. You can't fool Mother

Nature! Well,

> you can but it's costly!

>

> Perfectionism sometimes stalks us all after this surgery. Most of

us have

> never dreamed of so much success and I think we can be excused for

getting

> carried away by it a bit at times...especially in the early stages.

But if we

> don't come to grips with a reasonable place to land eventually, and

learn to

> know what is 'enough', I think we are in trouble. We set ourselves

up again

> for too much deprivation, too little self-satisfaction and the

inevitable

> turbulence that results from trying to adapt to the storm instead

of finding

> shelter and staying out of harm's way.

> I wish Tierney Marie and all of us peaceful ports in the storm. And

I hope we

> all recognize the shelter of our very own " sweet spots " when we

find them.

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Carol, Thank you SOOOO very much for sharing that with us!! I

really like the concept of a " sweet spot " I am going to find mine!!

Karan

> Hi Laurie,

> I posted this a while back and it was published this winter in

Beyond Change

> a great little newsletter many of you might enjoy if you aren't

familiar with

> it.. but maybe it'll help to repeat it for you now...

> Best wishes, Carol

>

> FINDING YOUR SWEET SPOT

> by Carol Signore, MAT, MS, LMFT

>

> Yesterday I read a sad post online. It was written by Tierney

Marie, a girl

> whose weight loss surgery result is as beautiful as her name. I

feel like I

> know her even though we've never met. She lost 150 pounds in 14

months and

> wears a size 14 now. Her wide arrays of serious, pre-surgical,

medical

> problems have all but disappeared and her health has never been

better.

> Unhappily it isn't enough. Tierney Marie feels desperate to keep

the pounds

> coming off. She wants to wear a size 8.

>

> Two years ago Tierney Marie was afraid she might not live to see

her daughter

> graduate from high school. The possibility of buying her clothes in

the

> " regular department " was a fantasy akin to wining the lottery.

> Today Tierney Marie dreams of being super slim and is prepared for

extreme

> measures to meet her goal. Her weight loss has slowed to a creep,

maybe even

> stopped, and her 'honeymoon' -that 12-18 month window of

opportunity for

> losing weight after surgery- is clearly drawing to a close. Fear

and anxiety

> are becoming constant companions and old compulsive eating

behaviors are

> lurking once again. Her hunger has returned with force and tiny

little

> portions no longer fill her up. Tierney is terrified! She is also

at a

> critical point in her WLS recovery.

>

> I wrote to Tierney Marie. I wanted to congratulate her on her

fabulous weight

> loss. I also wanted to suggest that the expectations we have for

weight loss

> surgery sometimes need to be re-examined as our 'honeymoon' phases

draw to a

> close.

> After three years of coming to terms with my own surgery results,

and 15

> years of clinical practice in eating and weight disorders, I think

one of the

> great secrets to WLS success has little to do with weight and

everything to

> do with body image and self acceptance. The numbers on the scale

aren't

> what's crucial, but what we think about them is. A certain amount

of

> acceptance and knowing what is 'enough' is essential to recovery

from weight

> loss surgery as it is to other recoveries related to eating

behaviors. We

> need to develop acceptance about what is 'enough' to eat and

acceptance about

> what is 'enough' to look like. It's a kind of personal 'sweet

spot', a place

> where our weight levels out and stability is manageable with

reasonable care.

> If we have established healthy eating and exercise plans by that

point, and

> if we continue to follow them, (two big ifs) we may continue to

lose a bit

> more over time. I'm not sure it is ever as much as many of us come

to want.

> It is probably 'enough'.

>

> Many of us are intoxicated by our own success and the extraordinary

> compliments we receive as the pounds melt away. Some of us

rationalize that

> we are merely 'going for the gold' as our egos inflate like little

hot air

> balloons and we grow ever more determined to join the ranks of the

emaciated

> like Kate and Lara and Allie.. It may seem like a perfect route to

righteous

> revenge or an ideal angry pay back, but linking arms with the icons

of our

> thin-obsessed culture won't erase the years of pain and humiliation

that all

> morbidly obese people have endured. Even with surgical help a

personal

> history characterized by compulsive overeating and morbid obesity

doesn't

> argue very convincingly for a long run as Twiggy. Remember that

those who

> refuse to learn from history are condemned to repeat it.

>

> We all reach a place in the end where we must carefully define

what 'enough'

> really is. That's how we find our balance. And that's how we find

our 'sweet

> spot'. Often this insight comes at the moment when we feel most out

of

> control, like the place where Tierney Marie is now. When terror has

us in its

> grip, that's when we let go of cultural edicts and fantasy selves

and shake

> hands, at last, with our own reality, our own biology. Accepting

this reality

> means being fair and reasonable with our bodies and our

expectations.

> Balancing can't happen unless we let it.

>

> How well have we learned to nourish our new selves post honeymoon?

How do we

> view and feel about our 'thinner' bodies? When and what is good

enough? These

> data are more crucial than any numbers on the scale. Unless we make

peace

> with what is 'enough' for us we will probably continue to battle

food and

> weight long after our surgeries.

>

> For those who keep a journal during their experience (and I highly

recommend

> the practice!) it helps to go back at the end of the honeymoon and

reread

> early entries about the reasons that prompted surgery in the first

place.

> What were the most important goals? Have we achieved them? Tierney

Marie

> needs to do this now.

>

> Whatever formula you develop is yours alone and the ingredients for

each

> 'sweet spot' are probably as individual as each of us. I agree with

many

> nutritionists about increasing protein consumption during periods

of frequent

> cravings or weight fluctuation ...especially for those who have had

distal

> surgeries... but less sugar, fewer carbs and more exercise are

probably just

> as effective for most proximals. Following your personal 'sweet

spot' formula

> must become as natural as breathing. Long-term maintenance depends

on long

> term commitment. Handling rough patches requires a long list of

dependable

> strategies. It also helps to remember that rough patches smooth out

> eventually.

>

> I think each of us comes to a very 'sweet spot' after our weight

loss surgery

> honeymoon. But we need to recognize it when we see it. This

balancing phase

> of WLS is the most critical phase of recovery. It is where real

success is

> determined. Not the surgeon's skill (although that's clearly

important), not

> the rate of loss, not the clothes size achieved, or the compliments

> collected. True success is acquiring that lower healthy weight and

the

> ability to maintain it. Sound familiar?? It's like every diet we

ever went on

> in the old days, right? No. Now we have our new small pouch to help

us....

> It's our 'secret' weapon for knowing how much food is 'enough'.

>

> Once you find your 'sweet spot', embrace it! Go with the grace and

balance of

> that safe, stable, GOOD ENOUGH place for you. In my experience,

people have a

> terrible time maintaining when they force their weight down below

their

> 'sweet spots'. I suspect that kind of pushing may actually be one

of the

> reasons for the oft' mentioned 'bounce'. You can't fool Mother

Nature! Well,

> you can but it's costly!

>

> Perfectionism sometimes stalks us all after this surgery. Most of

us have

> never dreamed of so much success and I think we can be excused for

getting

> carried away by it a bit at times...especially in the early stages.

But if we

> don't come to grips with a reasonable place to land eventually, and

learn to

> know what is 'enough', I think we are in trouble. We set ourselves

up again

> for too much deprivation, too little self-satisfaction and the

inevitable

> turbulence that results from trying to adapt to the storm instead

of finding

> shelter and staying out of harm's way.

> I wish Tierney Marie and all of us peaceful ports in the storm. And

I hope we

> all recognize the shelter of our very own " sweet spots " when we

find them.

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

<>

What a wonderful article Carol - thanks for sharing it!!

Kate

[Guest guest]

Greetings! I'm new to the group...so here goes. It took me nine months to go

from 347 to 239 and I've been at 239 since January 5th of this year. Major

plateau. I've been okay with this state and was actually feeling slender

until the past couple of weeks. Now I'm feeling " fat " again, as in 347

pounds fat. I derive a tremendous amount of peace of mind from not having

gained one ounce back since January 5th and am also very thankful for the

skilled hands of my surgeon and all of the support from family and friends.

I had a roux-en-y on April 11, 2001 and have no regrets even if I don't lose

another ounce. However, at 5 feet, 7 inches I was hoping to get below 200

pounds. I must admit my body has continued to change shape since January

5th, as if the remaining fat is redistributing itself. I've lost from the

top down so I figure eventually my feet will be the size of a compact car.

Has anyone else experienced a lengthy plateau, i.e., 6 months or more? If

so, what did you do to keep yourself focused?

My thanks to all of you who take the time to share insights and offer

support.

>

>To: Graduate-OSSG

>Subject: Re: Re: feeling happy where you are

>Date: Thu, 11 Jul 2002 05:44:37 -0700 (PDT)

>

>

> I remember when I hit 180 from 310. I felt so good and said I would be

>happy if I never lost another pound because my health and quality of living

>was so much better. That was 8 months out. Now, 18 months out and still

>at 180, I'm no longer happy. I wanted more and expected more. I know how

>far I've come and I'm sooooo happy about that, but the vanity issue is

>there I guess. The weight around my stomach keeps me from buying smaller

>clothes that would truly make me look better. I try to keep focused on the

>health issues and that helps, but it's not everything.

> in Akron

>

> chance2lv2001 starseer5@...> wrote: Hi Laurie, I am 13 months

>out....down to 213 from 333 and though my

>goal is another 50 pounds or so....I truly feel that if I did not

>loose another pound I will be satisfied. Being down 120 pounds has

>GREATLY improved my quality of life & that was what I was shooting

>for. I can go to the Zoo and make it the whole day without huffing &

>puffing (unless of course its 90 degrees out and everyone is huffing

>& puffing)....so Yes I definitely feel happy where I am!! Good Luck

>to you. Karan

>

>

> > hi all. i am not new to the group; have been lurking for a while

>but i do have a question. does anyone ever feel un-happy where they

>are? meaning, i was 300 lbs and a 3x/24W and now am 175 size 14/L

>and sometimes M. i am 5'6 " and most of the time i feel good about

>where i am at. i have some loose skin and some wonderful jiggly

>thighs and floppy stomach but other than that, i am ok with me. but

>does anyone ever feel like they failed cuz to society they are still

>overweight? i find myself jealous that others have lost more, weigh

>less, wear smaller sizes and all that good stuff. anyone else out

>there and is there a way to just be happy? i had to unscribe to one

>site cuz it was too much for me to compare and i was really down on

>myself. thank's for listening and any advice is appreciated.

> >

> > laurie

> > --

> > __________________________________________________________

> > Sign-up for your own FREE Personalized E-mail at Mail.com

> > http://www.mail.com/?sr=signup

> >

> > Save up to $160 by signing up for NetZero Platinum Internet service.

> > http://www.netzero.net/?refcd=N2P0602NEP8

>

>

>Homepage: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG

>

>Unsubscribe: mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Greetings! I'm new to the group...so here goes. It took me nine months to go

from 347 to 239 and I've been at 239 since January 5th of this year. Major

plateau. I've been okay with this state and was actually feeling slender

until the past couple of weeks. Now I'm feeling " fat " again, as in 347

pounds fat. I derive a tremendous amount of peace of mind from not having

gained one ounce back since January 5th and am also very thankful for the

skilled hands of my surgeon and all of the support from family and friends.

I had a roux-en-y on April 11, 2001 and have no regrets even if I don't lose

another ounce. However, at 5 feet, 7 inches I was hoping to get below 200

pounds. I must admit my body has continued to change shape since January

5th, as if the remaining fat is redistributing itself. I've lost from the

top down so I figure eventually my feet will be the size of a compact car.

Has anyone else experienced a lengthy plateau, i.e., 6 months or more? If

so, what did you do to keep yourself focused?

My thanks to all of you who take the time to share insights and offer

support.

>

>To: Graduate-OSSG

>Subject: Re: Re: feeling happy where you are

>Date: Thu, 11 Jul 2002 05:44:37 -0700 (PDT)

>

>

> I remember when I hit 180 from 310. I felt so good and said I would be

>happy if I never lost another pound because my health and quality of living

>was so much better. That was 8 months out. Now, 18 months out and still

>at 180, I'm no longer happy. I wanted more and expected more. I know how

>far I've come and I'm sooooo happy about that, but the vanity issue is

>there I guess. The weight around my stomach keeps me from buying smaller

>clothes that would truly make me look better. I try to keep focused on the

>health issues and that helps, but it's not everything.

> in Akron

>

> chance2lv2001 starseer5@...> wrote: Hi Laurie, I am 13 months

>out....down to 213 from 333 and though my

>goal is another 50 pounds or so....I truly feel that if I did not

>loose another pound I will be satisfied. Being down 120 pounds has

>GREATLY improved my quality of life & that was what I was shooting

>for. I can go to the Zoo and make it the whole day without huffing &

>puffing (unless of course its 90 degrees out and everyone is huffing

>& puffing)....so Yes I definitely feel happy where I am!! Good Luck

>to you. Karan

>

>

> > hi all. i am not new to the group; have been lurking for a while

>but i do have a question. does anyone ever feel un-happy where they

>are? meaning, i was 300 lbs and a 3x/24W and now am 175 size 14/L

>and sometimes M. i am 5'6 " and most of the time i feel good about

>where i am at. i have some loose skin and some wonderful jiggly

>thighs and floppy stomach but other than that, i am ok with me. but

>does anyone ever feel like they failed cuz to society they are still

>overweight? i find myself jealous that others have lost more, weigh

>less, wear smaller sizes and all that good stuff. anyone else out

>there and is there a way to just be happy? i had to unscribe to one

>site cuz it was too much for me to compare and i was really down on

>myself. thank's for listening and any advice is appreciated.

> >

> > laurie

> > --

> > __________________________________________________________

> > Sign-up for your own FREE Personalized E-mail at Mail.com

> > http://www.mail.com/?sr=signup

> >

> > Save up to $160 by signing up for NetZero Platinum Internet service.

> > http://www.netzero.net/?refcd=N2P0602NEP8

>

>

>Homepage: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG

>

>Unsubscribe: mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Greetings! I'm new to the group...so here goes. It took me nine months to go

from 347 to 239 and I've been at 239 since January 5th of this year. Major

plateau. I've been okay with this state and was actually feeling slender

until the past couple of weeks. Now I'm feeling " fat " again, as in 347

pounds fat. I derive a tremendous amount of peace of mind from not having

gained one ounce back since January 5th and am also very thankful for the

skilled hands of my surgeon and all of the support from family and friends.

I had a roux-en-y on April 11, 2001 and have no regrets even if I don't lose

another ounce. However, at 5 feet, 7 inches I was hoping to get below 200

pounds. I must admit my body has continued to change shape since January

5th, as if the remaining fat is redistributing itself. I've lost from the

top down so I figure eventually my feet will be the size of a compact car.

Has anyone else experienced a lengthy plateau, i.e., 6 months or more? If

so, what did you do to keep yourself focused?

My thanks to all of you who take the time to share insights and offer

support.

>

>To: Graduate-OSSG

>Subject: Re: Re: feeling happy where you are

>Date: Thu, 11 Jul 2002 05:44:37 -0700 (PDT)

>

>

> I remember when I hit 180 from 310. I felt so good and said I would be

>happy if I never lost another pound because my health and quality of living

>was so much better. That was 8 months out. Now, 18 months out and still

>at 180, I'm no longer happy. I wanted more and expected more. I know how

>far I've come and I'm sooooo happy about that, but the vanity issue is

>there I guess. The weight around my stomach keeps me from buying smaller

>clothes that would truly make me look better. I try to keep focused on the

>health issues and that helps, but it's not everything.

> in Akron

>

> chance2lv2001 starseer5@...> wrote: Hi Laurie, I am 13 months

>out....down to 213 from 333 and though my

>goal is another 50 pounds or so....I truly feel that if I did not

>loose another pound I will be satisfied. Being down 120 pounds has

>GREATLY improved my quality of life & that was what I was shooting

>for. I can go to the Zoo and make it the whole day without huffing &

>puffing (unless of course its 90 degrees out and everyone is huffing

>& puffing)....so Yes I definitely feel happy where I am!! Good Luck

>to you. Karan

>

>

> > hi all. i am not new to the group; have been lurking for a while

>but i do have a question. does anyone ever feel un-happy where they

>are? meaning, i was 300 lbs and a 3x/24W and now am 175 size 14/L

>and sometimes M. i am 5'6 " and most of the time i feel good about

>where i am at. i have some loose skin and some wonderful jiggly

>thighs and floppy stomach but other than that, i am ok with me. but

>does anyone ever feel like they failed cuz to society they are still

>overweight? i find myself jealous that others have lost more, weigh

>less, wear smaller sizes and all that good stuff. anyone else out

>there and is there a way to just be happy? i had to unscribe to one

>site cuz it was too much for me to compare and i was really down on

>myself. thank's for listening and any advice is appreciated.

> >

> > laurie

> > --

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>

>Homepage: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG

>

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>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Laurie~

Yes it IS hard....I battle with it often. As soon as I hit a goal or

milestone or something GOOD happens I am okay for awhile but I often then

finding myself pondering too much.....for instance = Well my so and so is

under control now but what about THIS?! and then I obsess about how to

change it or despair that I can't change it.

I think it is natural at first because we are trying to let our mind catch

up with our bodies. It can be unhealthy to obsess so much and drive

ourselves into a depression! We need to have a good feeling about where we

are vs where we came from. We are all so much better off and healthier now.

A few wigglies, gigglies etc shouldn't ruin our lives

now that we have them back!

~Hugs

Melty~

Open RNY 5/1/98 -- -163 lbs

Panniculectomy/abdomnioplasty 5/23/01 -- -15 lbs

Dr. Lawrence Barzune in Dallas TX -- would recommend him 110%

**I have been at goal and maintaining my weight for over 2.5 years. I have

recently decided to try and lose 10-15 lbs if possible and tone up the

flabbies!

To: Graduate-OSSG

Subject: feeling happy where you are

Date: Wed, 10 Jul 2002 22:01:58 -0500

hi all. i am not new to the group; have been lurking for a while but i do

have a question. does anyone ever feel un-happy where they are? meaning, i

was 300 lbs and a 3x/24W and now am 175 size 14/L and sometimes M. i am

5'6 " and most of the time i feel good about where i am at. i have some

loose skin and some wonderful jiggly thighs and floppy stomach but other

than that, i am ok with me. but does anyone ever feel like they failed cuz

to society they are still overweight? i find myself jealous that others

have lost more, weigh less, wear smaller sizes and all that good stuff.

anyone else out there and is there a way to just be happy? i had to

unscribe to one site cuz it was too much for me to compare and i was really

down on myself. thank's for listening and any advice is appreciated.

laurie

--

__________________________________________________________

Sign-up for your own FREE Personalized E-mail at Mail.com

http://www.mail.com/?sr=signup

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http://www.netzero.net/?refcd=N2P0602NEP8

Homepage: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG

Unsubscribe: mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe

[Guest guest]

Laurie~

Yes it IS hard....I battle with it often. As soon as I hit a goal or

milestone or something GOOD happens I am okay for awhile but I often then

finding myself pondering too much.....for instance = Well my so and so is

under control now but what about THIS?! and then I obsess about how to

change it or despair that I can't change it.

I think it is natural at first because we are trying to let our mind catch

up with our bodies. It can be unhealthy to obsess so much and drive

ourselves into a depression! We need to have a good feeling about where we

are vs where we came from. We are all so much better off and healthier now.

A few wigglies, gigglies etc shouldn't ruin our lives

now that we have them back!

~Hugs

Melty~

Open RNY 5/1/98 -- -163 lbs

Panniculectomy/abdomnioplasty 5/23/01 -- -15 lbs

Dr. Lawrence Barzune in Dallas TX -- would recommend him 110%

**I have been at goal and maintaining my weight for over 2.5 years. I have

recently decided to try and lose 10-15 lbs if possible and tone up the

flabbies!

To: Graduate-OSSG

Subject: feeling happy where you are

Date: Wed, 10 Jul 2002 22:01:58 -0500

hi all. i am not new to the group; have been lurking for a while but i do

have a question. does anyone ever feel un-happy where they are? meaning, i

was 300 lbs and a 3x/24W and now am 175 size 14/L and sometimes M. i am

5'6 " and most of the time i feel good about where i am at. i have some

loose skin and some wonderful jiggly thighs and floppy stomach but other

than that, i am ok with me. but does anyone ever feel like they failed cuz

to society they are still overweight? i find myself jealous that others

have lost more, weigh less, wear smaller sizes and all that good stuff.

anyone else out there and is there a way to just be happy? i had to

unscribe to one site cuz it was too much for me to compare and i was really

down on myself. thank's for listening and any advice is appreciated.

laurie

--

__________________________________________________________

Sign-up for your own FREE Personalized E-mail at Mail.com

http://www.mail.com/?sr=signup

Save up to $160 by signing up for NetZero Platinum Internet service.

http://www.netzero.net/?refcd=N2P0602NEP8

Homepage: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Graduate-OSSG

Unsubscribe: mailto:Graduate-OSSG-unsubscribe