Sex Drive Loss // Mis-placed?

[Guest guest]

> I am 2 years postop. I still think that a lot of it is due to a high

stress job and a boss that drives me nuts. I teach 3rd grade and have

little energy at the end of the day.

> Suze

My husband and I had this " short talk " yesterday (in nice fashion) sort of

counting all the balls we are juggling right now (trying not to drop

anything) work (joys and frustrations) children, grand children, his

friends, my friends, our shared friends, PTA meetings and work meetings and

meeting friends for dinner... our collective calendars are full of

appointments, meetings, scheduled travel, scheduled events and then we try

to juggle the rest in-between...

We ended up with a " why don't we have a date scheduled on there for US??? "

I'm 2 years post op too and while my sex drive isn't lost I do often

mis-place it and so does he -- on the up side we both realize we do this

and are agreeable to learning new ways to find / make time for US (Is 3 a.m.

tomorrow good for you?) ~smile~ We not only have to make time but put US in

a higher priority status.

Since loosing weight -- I find I can do about 10X the amount of things I

could do before -- that makes me a real busy person. He's always been a real

busy person...

I am concerned that I do compare my sex drive now to how it was the first

year when my hormones were raging (you could actually see little pink

bubbles all around me.... LOL) and how it is now -- more level, not as much

as I'd like but sometimes too much to find time for...

Then I get concerned that if we " make " the time is my sex drive going to be

there with me??? And, if it isn't is that just OK... can we just snuggle,

have grown-up time and enjoy each others company for a little while -- and

if not, we do need to see a councilor about that -- if we can, will it

always be that way or will the real amorous feelings emerge in time? And on

and on... all that on the psychological end of it I think...

So, if y'all excuse me for getting a little graphic here -- I think I will

worry about the " physical " aspects when I feel something is physically

wrong -- for men it is usually the desire is there but it just isn't

happening ya' know? And, it is more of an obvious physical thing for men but

the same holds true for women... the desire is there but the body isn't

being cooperative (this is the part where the MD's tell us to use a water

based lubricant and get over it...)

I'm also aware that some women have mentioned that it is painful (when it

wasn't always painful...) to me, this is another " physical " issue that a

doctor can be addressed about...

I guess my question -- to help us " non-medical " or " not informed " folks is

what other real " physical " manifests should we be looking for?

And at the risk of being crude but I'm really NOT trying to be -- I have

found for myself if I am not well hydrated (enough water) then I see a BIG

difference in my bodies ability to " respond " in the appropriate manner. (ok,

get wet) Sorry -- just being clear to try to be helpful -- I didn't put 2

and 2 together until I realized this was almost always happening in the wee

hours of the morning (before getting up, drinking my water and so on....)

and it almost always included cramps in my feet or legs (post weight loss

one of the more obvious physical side effects of not enough water can be

cramping in feet or legs) -- put together that makes PERFECT sense that my

body doesn't have the fluid needed to respond.

Since sort of putting those together, now if it is the middle of the night

or wee hours or coming in from outside after gardening or other sweaty

work/play fun -- I grab a bottle of water FIRST and guzzle that while just

chatting, laughing, getting re-acquainted or just being silly -- the water

in me really helps ('specially the cramping that ALWAYS happens at the worst

possible time!)

I'm sure their are others of you who have found some " issues " that are

directly related to the WL that change or affect the way our bodies work --

being well hydrated for me is just one of those things that we found helps.

Now, I feel like I may have offended some for being so graphic but I

promise I didn't intend that at all... Just sharing something that did fall

into an important " aspect " of post-op, water needs and body responding to

that.

hugz,

~denise