My MCS/ Implant story

[Guest guest]

Hi Everyone,

I think it's time for me to tell some of my implants story.. I'm sure so many can relate. I'm so degusted tonight, might be good therapy for me to finally tell it to survivors like myself.

First off, interestingly enough, I only have one friend who knows I had the implants and that's why I have such intense MCS. With all the people I've met at clinics, or support groups online, I've never confided this information. I just didn't want the judgmental attitude that might come my way for one reason, another being trust.

I decided to get the implants after an exam from my doctor who asked me if I ever considered them. That was all I needed to hear. I had one breast that was malformed and barely grew while the other was fine. I had to stuff bras.. etc etc..dating was difficult. When the doc said this to me I was mortified.. just so embarrassed. Anyway, I told him I never did it because I didn't think it was safe. He really squashed me to pieces as being unknowledgeable about them (ha what a joke now). Afterwards, I( believed him ) and contacted a couple of plastic surgeons finally deciding on one.

In the hospital I got an infection right away, was told this was common.. and that did clear up. My breasts became very hard like rocks soon after. So he did the closed capsulotomy procedure. but by the third time wanted me to sign a paper to not hold him responsible which I wouldn't sign, so he dismissed me...

I had mammography’s which I was told were necessary. I have learned since being in the online support groups for the implants how that contributed to problems. Makes sense to me.. I felt so at the time but was told I was wrong. In the meantime, two years after the implants, I got a terrible flu the likes of which I never had in my life. I never really recovered completely. Fatigue and viral problems stayed with me. Ran from doctor to doctor (was still working at my paying job). As this went on, I was dxed with Chronic Mono and Post Viral Syndrome. I continued to go downhill, starting to get asthma attacks. I was never allergic to anything that I know of previously and was very healthy.

I started to go to an allergist...who did shots and gave me inhalers. I figured out I was having asthma attacks from foods. I also started developing neurological problems. My concentration was becoming effected. I was a bookkeeper and office mgr at the time. I didn't put together the correlation because I was just sick everywhere, but I had problems walking and felt something like being very drunk after coming out of buildings. But I had to go food shopping and work, and take care of my group so you know how it is you keep moving.

I also started to develop headaches.. nasty intense headaches...dxed as migraines. One time I lost vision for a while.. husband took me to the neurologist. He wanted to put me in the hospital ( I had already been to emergency so many times already, I can't remember at this point all the why's). So I said no to the hospital. I remember this particular neurologist who I liked saying to me that he had a diet he gave to some of his patients that for some reason helped. Well, I tried it and boy did it help me. No fermented foods, no pickled foods, nothing processed.. no dairy, wheat, gluten, well it worked for me!

There were times I wouldn't know where I was. On a road I had traveled many times, all of a sudden it was a blank. I pulled into a parking lot and called my husband on his cell (thank goodness we had cell phones). I described to him where I was, got out to read him the sign.. and he guided me home. It was terrifying. This only happened a few times... but scary!

After dinner I would go into my office in the house to do our bills and such. After done I would try to get out of the chair, and I would fall on the floor. I had lost the ability to walk. I would crawl to the bathroom, run a bath, I'd manage to get in there and then I would be able to walk after I got out of the tub.. I understand the reasons now. The office had pressed wood furniture.. with all that formaldehyde and glue... The bath helped me soak out the chemicals from my body.

I never smelled great in perfume, I used to wear a natural scent... like vanilla for example. Scents started to bother me after a while with terrible brain fog and neurological problems like memory, concentration and motor skills.

With all that going on, my other symptoms were the viral things.. feeling like I had mono all the time...and breathing.

At one point getting no where with the doctors, I traveled out of state to a team of docs that were "supposed" to be very good internists. They diagnosed me with CFS, told me they didn't know much about it to go home and do research. I joined a CFS support group at home when I returned, but it was becoming more and more difficult for me to go into the hospital for the meetings so I organized having meetings at my home. That was fine for a while, until I got too sick from people coming over.

My silicone implants were put in...1985.. and removed in 1994. I had to stop working in 1991. My brain just couldn't process the info well enough to do my job. I used to have 5 sets of books (bookkeeping) in front of me (the days before computers).. and here I could barely pay a bill.

I was getting very thin because I would also get very congested and have trouble breathing after I ate. I was living on Sudafed (until I couldn't tolerate it anymore).

My other reactions was rapid heartbeat. Had the holter monitor which was over 200 but they couldn't find and reason for it. I know now it's just one of my reactions to chemicals or environmental triggers. I have to have a lot of purity in order to avoid that symptom even still today.

I got to the point, where I couldn't tolerate Sudafed or any other decongestant, and just couldn't eat much and the breathing was scary. I couldn't stand the odors ...outside, inside.. and I couldn't tolerate the water in the shower.. I would have some kind of terrible reaction that was explained to me as "seizure like' due to brain inflammation. I also would get a terrible feeling in my right arm that would travel up my arm.. that I would scream from I have no idea what that is about. It only happens when I get too much exposure from chemicals. So when I get rid of the cause, it goes away. Ugh..

Thanksgiving of 1995 came, I couldn't get in the car with my family. That was the last time I saw them. I haven't been able to go in anyone’s house since.

I ended up at an environmental clinic Jan 1996 in another state because I needed what was considered a minor type surgery but I couldn't walk into a building so on a small plane (like angel flights) I got there. I stayed 2 months it was pure hell. I looked like a concentration camp survivor and got the boot camp on living with severe MCS which I didn't want to accept.. had the surgery. My husband flew there and got me back home.

He and my dad (who flew in from home) insisted I go to another environmental clinic.... just pack up my things and go. There was a lot of screaming going on at that time because I didn't want to go. (previously I never yelled) I already knew from the support groups and that trip how people lived with the bad MCS and to me, I felt I might as well just have it end here.

I should mention I was still trying to doing my animal rescue work. I had cats I had been taking care of outside and inside. I had two left outside (the rest we got homes for) and one inside that my dad took back with him out of state. I didn't want to leave the animals or my home. My husband had just retired from his job he wanted to leave...he felt I could get help someplace else and he really didn't care about the animals which is a wound that will never heal.

In any event, I was so half dead at that point, I suppose I felt outnumbered and too debilitated to fight further and resigned myself to leaving. My friend on the block was going to take care of the outside 2 cats left and as I said my dad took my indoor cat I loved.

So we went to another state... left our home and 8 months of being pumped up with IV's and taking supplements, sauna detox eating healthier, and avoiding fragrances, chemicals and environmental triggers etc.. etc.., I was doing the protocol. I ended up living in the car because I couldn’t tolerate any of the places left. I did stay at a couple of fragrance free places while availability was there and they were ok for me for the most part but when time rain out the car was home.

Then I got a call, my cat was sick with colon cancer (she was only 1 /1/2 years old.) I loved her with a passion. She was as rescue, took 4 months before she would let me touch her.. but once she did, the trust was a bond and a half. For three years after I couldn't even talk about her or put a picture out. I cry as I write about her. I loved her so.

Well, we left that town with the environmental doc to move where we are now. We looked at a lot of houses to live wherever we were, but I would get so sick from them.. I would go inside and sometimes neurologically the ceiling would be the floor.

Finally we found one, I didn't like the house it but could tolerate it... so we bought it. A few days after that between three people... a chemical was put in he ductwork that never should have happened. I walked in.... passed out on the floor and it was a mess. I then couldn't live here for two years. It was a total nightmare. All the help I gained in the treatment for the 8 months prior was now gone, I was worse than before.

When I finally got back here after a good dose of 2 years of incredible fear and stress ..and more medical care, we added on a room with a bathroom so I had a healthy place to sleep and be. It took a year and a half for my safe room to gas out for me to be able to use it. We’ve added a couple more rooms to the house since then.. with separate heat and air from the central system of the contaminated house. We could never have afforded to move (cheaper to add on a room or two). So this is how it is now.

I continue with IV nutritional therapy, and supplements... along with not being able to go into buildings unless I have to and some I just can't do. I wear O2 in the buildings.

I can walk, I can do my bookkeeping, I can pretty functional as long as I stay in my fragrance free world. When I get exposures I get problems. Twice I tried to go into a particular local supermarket... and started developing paralysis.. I lost the ability to walk and to speak. Five hours later I started coming around..after using O2.

By self exam, I believe I still have the capsules. If I am able after my leg procedure, I will contact Dr Kolb about it but don't believe I could survive a surgery.. however it is something I want to investigate.

When people think I am so sick today, I can almost laugh because I say.. "you should have seen me before"...everything is relative. At least I'm able to take care of my home, cook, do all the office work, and take care of a couple of animals and my husband.

There's a lot more that went on in-between, but this is long enough. I do want to say, in the meantime, I took care of my dad the best I could when he got sick.. but he passed 5 years ago.. along with 3 other family I loved. So for me there's little family. I can't visit with them, they don't understand. People are just too fragrant.

Believe me this is the abridged version

Hugs,

There would be nothing to frighten you if you refused to be afraid. Gandhi