Re: 's poison bags out now

March 11, 2011

, thanks for sharing your story as well. I can totally relate to the large boobs and children thing. I have 16 and 4 year old sons. I felt bad for my 16 year old. I'm also a DD (orginally wanted to be a full C but after my second son got bigger). I tried to wear loose fitting clothing but like you know it does't matter. Men and women alike found it difficult to look me in the eyes. There were many moms who wouldn't even talk to me, as well as, rude comments from boys at school that I could overhear. Like you said it was unavoidable and made for sad emotions. I used to wear nice professional clothing. I have a bunch of pictures of my son and I together when he was young and I didn't have implants. We looked so

happy. But after I got implants and as he got older he got harrassed about his mom being so big. A mom told me that he got flack at school from the boys about my breast. Eventually he was embarrased to be seen with me and overtime didn't even want to hug me.

My orginal incision for implant was through the underarm. The explant was done under the breast in a "U". I did not have the funds for reconstuctive (if I would've I would've had a breast lift). At first I thought that as soon as I had the funds to get a breast lift I would come back. Now I'm leaning towards just accepting and loving myself the way I am and know that I'm still beautiful. Dr. Feng made me feel so good. She said, "You never needed implants to begin with. You shouldn't have any deformities (after she took pictures and looked at computer imaging) and with the skin and fat you should be between a B - C. Some of my friends asked me how I felt about not having the funds to do reconstructive and I told them "When you get to the point that you loose the use of your arms and legs regularly and start having tremors and seizures (which I haven't had since surgery

- yeah) you not only want them out but know you they NEED to come out." I can not explain the relief I've already. The main ones: explant surgery was far less painful that walking around with the swelled and painful implants. My pain level before explant on scale of 1 to 10 was 11. I was seriously at my breaking point with the pain. I couldn't have taken it physcially much longer. I remember going into the ER in January because the pain was so bad in the chest I was suicidal. The ER doctor treatened to put me in the phyciatric ward. I said, "Why because my breast hurt so bad I want to kill myself to end the pain. I'm not crazy I just can't take the pain anymore." She refused to believe my implants had anything to do with pain or what was going on neurologically.

Also, I didn't realize how much it compressed my heart and lungs making it difficult to breath. I don't have shortness of breath now. It feels great to take a deep full breath and not feel pressure or burning in the lungs. As for the minimal pain surgery, Dr. Feng does an amazing pain block that last for 72 hours. She also incorporates the use of natural supplements and homeopathics to help with the swelling and inflammation which also helps reduce pain. I was amazed and truly excited that she incorporated natural therapies for healing as well. As I said yesterday 2 hours after we got back to our hotel we went out to eat a salt free meal (recommended by Feng office for after surgery) at Whole Foods. Today we ate there again and then went to Barns and Noble for the day. Tomorrow we're going to Anthropolgie! My mom is amazed at how well I'm

doing. She said, "Here I thought you'd be all laid up for a week and your more alert than I've seen you in months."

HUGS,

From: Lengyel <tracylengyel@...> Sent: Thu, March 10, 2011 11:17:53 AMSubject: RE: 's poison bags out now

Oh ! I can't find words meaningful enough to express how thankful I am you took the time to type your post explantation feelings. Thank you very much. I totally understand what it is like to go to big boobs with all the repurcussions. I went from a B to a DD and I even smash them in with a supportive bra. I stopped a few weeks after my honeymoon stage with them after recovery from implantation wearing certain things because of the looks. I didn't want to look cheap or like a whore. My daughter even made comments after I thought I was being very careful how I dressed with them not to draw attention, that my shirt was too low when it wasn't at all. She was even trying desperately to get rid of the whole image thing it created. My self esteem has been horrible. And, I didn't

have trouble at all making friend with my little boobs, but I felt a difference of women wanting me around even looking at my boobs also, like it made them uncomfortable. They just looked huge no matter what I did and they didn't even know I had implants. So, then I started wearing loose shirts hating how they made me look frumpy. This was the only way to avoid all of this. I tried to think it didn't matter what others thought and I'm not going to let them judge me by my boobs, but it was unavoidable and I am very emotional. Besides, it didn't make me feel good making others uncomfortable. I'm not selfish by nature. , what type of incision did you have? Did you have a breast lift? What is a minimal pain recovery and how is that achieved? I believe that you are being rewarded now for getting the evil out by choice. I am so happy for you, you are a true inspiration. Please continue to keep us updated. We will be here for you no matter how the day is going in your recovery. from Az

From: inbo5599@...Date: Wed, 9 Mar 2011 17:47:03 -0800Subject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

I just wanted to let everyone know that I got my poison bags removed today! YEAH!!! Dr. Feng in Ohio and her staff were absolutely amazing. I can't image having to go through that with a doctor that didn't understand or acknowledge the health problems that implants can cause. She has a nasuea free and minimal pain recovery. My insurance did not cover the cost but you can't put a price on health. I'm so glad I did it! We got back to our hotel about 2 and at 4 I was well enough to go to Whole Foods and eat. The most amazing part . . . people looked me in the eyes instead of at my big boobs. The best unexpected compliment I got today at Whole Foods was, "Hey, great smile." I haven't heard that in years! I had tears in my eyes after that. I used to hear it before I got implants but after that it was just looks at my breast. I had no idea how over the years not being looked

at in the eyes was lowering my self esteem. People didn't take me seriously at work, at public classes I held, or at my children's school events. My self esteem was bad but definately worse over time after the implants. I am so happy to have ME back! Today I held my head high and my posture was great because I didn't have the weight of the poison bags. HUGS!!!

From: Lengyel <tracylengyel@...> Sent: Wed, March 9, 2011 10:27:31 AMSubject: RE: Hi! New here and could really use some support

Yes, and it can't be free if you have to give them a credit card number. I'm so sorry many of us have to go through this feeling of "not measuring up". My husband starts counseling today.

From: inbo5599@...Date: Mon, 7 Mar 2011 14:03:39 -0800Subject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

I had to share this since porn keeps coming up . . .

my ex husbands "free online porn" cost him $90 when he got a virus.

From: Lengyel <tracylengyel@...> Sent: Mon, March 7, 2011 2:56:07 PMSubject: RE: Hi! New here and could really use some support

Yep, around the time I got the implants my husband had given up on sleeping with me. So, I thought, well if he leaves me and it is because he doesn't like being with me, I will feel more confident for someone else! How sick. I am glad to see that our sharing our pain is helping someone from being in the same pain after implantation. NOW... on top of it all, I thought I had the money for explantation with my income tax refund but student loan took the whole 6k!! Yep, killing yourself is exactly it, your smart for learning from other peoples mistakes. Keep up the great work and be very very proud of yourself. My husband is starting a mens group for porn addicts soon, and has finally admitted to himself that he used porn to alleviate stress and like a drug. He said he'd push the issue back in his mind so he didn't have

to really 'think' about how it was a problem. It is sad and scary to find out how screwed up your husband is. Life is so hard. And for those out there who think they do those things because we aren't good enough, sexy enough, pretty enough, etc.. for some nothing is enough when your an addict. We put some notification on the computer if someone opens up those sites now.

From: davidtehura@...Date: Fri, 4 Mar 2011 07:49:46 -0800Subject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

wow. is anyone getting my messages?i really relate to this. i have had a boyfreind who stopped sleeping with me and so i was considering IMPLANTS.my breasts are actually fine, but because irecently lost 25 pounds they are less full and kinda fallen SLIGHTLY.what i realized from rading your nte is this-my BF is ALSO A SEX ADDICT. and it is HIS bad behaviour that made me consider implants. thanks to reading all this I am not going to do it. My BREASTS have nothing to do with HIS PROBLEM. If I got implants it would be great for three weeks and then right back AND I WOULD BE KILLING MYSELF

From: Lengyel <tracylengyel@...> Sent: Fri, March 4, 2011 7:28:56 AMSubject: RE: Hi! New here and could really use some support from NY and all... Thanks for sharing the details about the kinds of things that are happening to you mentally. It is very lonely feeling like your losing it, and shameful to tell other people what we are going through because of a vane decision. I also have to stop and think through the confusion,,, what am I doing right now? Sometimes when my daughter is speaking to me and I am not even doing anything, I can't focus on what she is

saying. My husband took a very long time to come around to believe the implants made me sick, but got onboard about 3 months ago, finally. I am finally realizing he has severe mental problems. I've been doing much online searching and he has an avoidance personality. Like, when he went to those 2 women for a "massage", his dad was dying and his mom was abusing him and didn't believe HE WAS SICK!!!! We didn't know he had a rare form of blood cancer and couldn't walk and they were living with us at the time and my husbands mom was telling her husband, my husbands father, he wasn't trying because he has a negative attitude. It was clear he was sick but she has this denial avoidance problem too!!!! Then she uses sugar to make her feel good. Sooo, I wallow in my sorrow but I don't use anything and I don't avoid or

deny. So a lot of our men may be struggling mentally too. He is acting perfect right now and I'm glad for a little more peace in the surroundings, but I will work on trying to disconnect knowing he can leave me at any moment having these urges and he had a sex addiction he claims he cured when he realized how bad it got with going where he went. I don't wanna offend the others here if they don't wanna hear about spiritual life, but that is what got him under control. I believe this because the "charges stopped" on the credit card at the same point he started talking about going to church about 3 years ago. Then he started pushing to pray before dinner, buying crosses, joined a mens spiritual group and all the signs are there he tried. But the hurt and lack of trust that his troubled mind can go where it did is sickening. Is anyone else going through these things? I am guessing since we made the decision we

did to get implants, some of us may have struggled with wanting to increase pleasure... try to fulfill more sexual desires.. try to please ourselves and husbands with our looks... I know I was very much like that. I realize I started this mentality when I was a teenager. I want to be a different person than that. I just want a clear clean conscience. I hope everyone is doing ok today, I wish we could get together also. Hey,,, do the people in Arizona wanna meet for coffee sometime? I have all day and I can drive anywhere... from Az

From: mamacondon6@...Date: Fri, 4 Mar 2011 05:06:34 -0800Subject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

,

I'm so sorry you have to have all these bad things happening at once. It sounds like you could really use a break, I wish I could be there physically for you, I would be happy to help in any way I can! It's impossible to go through everyday sick, let alone deal w/ huge life "stuff" on top of it.

I'm sorry your husband is not supportive right now, and I know how much worrying about our children can drain us, even on good days.

In the brain department, I too, have scary moments. I had a time when I was driving on a two lane country highway and I completely forgot which side of the road I was supposed to be on..it was terrifying..I had my kids in the car and I have been driving for 20+ years! I had to pull over. I waited until another car went past me so I could figure it out.I felt so confused ,like I was loosing my mind. At work they tease me ,because I forget everything, I read something and I can't retain any of it.

I truly feel like I'm unbalanced in my brain sometimes, it scares me. And now I can't talk to my husband about that because he thinks I need serious meds! Or to get put away, "until I'm better".

But when I mention that I think explant surgery will make me better ,he discounts it. I want to scream at him, I feel so trapped, because I need him to help me, but I just want to find someone who will care for me and about me.

Remember there is a physical reason we feel this way.the poison in our chests!Right now it feels like we are in an impossible place..but there is hope..Dr. Kolb, I have not heard back either about insurance....we will get better, we will be our old selves again....we will look back on this time and know it made us stronger and smarter!

Maybe Dr. Kolb will give us a two for one deal if we get it done together!!!hahah

I wish I could help you in AZ, keep typing, everyone here knows what your going through, in every aspect.

Feel my prayers, hugs and support today...good days are ahead.

in NY

From: Lengyel <tracylengyel@...> Sent: Thu, March 3, 2011 11:59:25 PMSubject: RE: Hi! New here and could really use some support

Hi from NY... and all I am really struggling mentally along with everything else. So, I was wondering if you could elaborate on how you are experiencing this. For instance, in my situation, I am having a hard time just thinking clearly, with memory problems, scattered thoughts, confused, hard time concentrating, obsessions, a feeling of loss of control of my life, and a serious feeling of dread. Then the anxiety and fear that I am losing my mind forever comes over me. Sometimes I can't even complete a sentence, like I forget what my point was and don't know how to finish what I'm saying. I sound mentally retarded, then I get angry over it. Sometimes, I wish I could be locked up away from any responsibility of anything so I won't get confused so much. Why would

your husband think the answer was putting you in a mental hospital??????? To try to get you stabilized? How sad, ,, and it is poison that is causing it all. And I am not retaining information, especially directions way worse than before the implants. When someone is talking to me I actually blank out for a while and then come to and wonder what they were saying. It's BAD. So, I need to rest from all the struggling mentally and try to just go to sleep and hope to wake up more alive feeling. Sometimes sleep helps. Kolb's office didn't get back yet as to if they got an answer from insurance for explant....and I just moved and found out my husband has been addicted to porn most of our marriage... and even went to asian massage parlors. I just want to die. Ahhh... no wonder he pushed for boobs and I was so weak. I don't feel I can take care of myself and told him that if

it is just ok that I just use to be a dad and pay the bills because I'm desperate he can stay around. And that we can have like a business relationship but our marriage bond is broken and over but for my daughter.... we can wait till shes older to make it final because she has been through so much sadness and loss in her life already and she is 13. How sad and dysfunctional. He wants to stay and says he's getting help but I no longer have him for my emotional needs because I am protecting myself. And I thought I had a good guy the last 17 years. from Az

From: mamacondon6@...Date: Thu, 3 Mar 2011 19:42:18 -0800Subject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

Sunny, I am so glad to know that others have experienced the same things....it got so bad recently that my husband thought it would be a good idea if I went away to a hospital in Utah for mentally ill people..in a lock up type facility for at least 30 days...away from my kids ,my life, my work..he almost had me convinced ,along w/ a "helpful" third party, who both kept telling me that I needed to be put away.

This was my moment, I don't know where it came from, because I've been trying for years to figure out why I'm sick...but I had my ah ha moment and I just kept saying "there is a physical reason for my depression, anxiety, brain fog...etc." They were making the arrangements for me to go when out of no where, I got the idea that it could be my implants!

I prayed to God to help me and He listened, the answer came that day....I can't explain it....but I do believe it.

You guys are the best,I won't stop saying it....hopefully, someday I will be able to type a success story here and be helpful to someone else, who is in the same dark place I am now.

I know brighter days are ahead, thanks for carrying me to them...I will promise to repay that kindness. in NY

From: Sun Lee <sunloves@...> Sent: Thu, March 3, 2011 1:14:23 PMSubject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

,

Don't count on men or anyone to understand your situation. Only the women who has gotten sick from the implant will know what we are talking about. You just have to do what it takes to get your health back and help yourself. When I got sick and I researched and determined that it was due to my implants, I discussed this with my boyfriend and he refused to believe me. He kept on saying that I should go to the doctors...I went to so many different doctors and none of them was able to help...and he still said there must be some doctor that could help. Even to this date he keeps saying that implants are safe, approved by FDS after so much research, etc. and that so many women are getting them without problems. He said his ex had it and never got sick from it. He said I must be going through menopause and finally he said it must be mental/psychological. We got into fight everytime we talked about

implants so I finally decided not to mention anything about implant to him.

You can vent your frustrations on us because we know exactly what you're going through and every one of us are angry at what has happened...

Thanks

Sunny

From: Condon <mamacondon6@...> Sent: Thu, March 3, 2011 5:16:35 AMSubject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

,

I just feel so disappointed by his behavior, like why can't he just give me the same simple words of encouragement that are so easy for others? Why can't he just share in excitement at finally finding out what's wrong w/ me? Why can't he just tell me it's going to be alright? Sorry ,I just don't understand ,after 20 years of marriage and six kids, what went so wrong? I think this being sick, just takes normal married life ups-n-downs and makes them 100 times worseI'm having a bad week I guess, and it makes me angry because I am elated that I have discovered the cause of my troubles, this is cause for celebration and dancing! And I'm letting his piss poor attitude ruin it for me.

Okay so the beginning of this email was all negative....after venting..thank you very much...I'm feeling better already and will be positive today.

We can do it together..I never want to bring anyone else down.....happiness...it comes from within.

Bless this site, and it's people...it came to me just in the nick of time.

Thank you for listening, in NY

From: Inbody <inbo5599@...> Sent: Wed, March 2, 2011 8:45:26 PMSubject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

Hi ,

Hang in there. My ex was really rude too. He was great if I was healthy but as soon as I got sick it was like "sucks to be you, see ya". I always thought that if you married somebody it was in sickness and health but . . . apparently that's not the case. Oh . . . forgot to mention . . . he loved the implants and was great in the beginning - loved all the looks his wife got etc. but as soon as I got sick . . . you know the rest. Anyway take care, you're not alone, glad you found us, we're here for you, hugs,

From: Lengyel <tracylengyel@...> Sent: Tue, March 1, 2011 11:06:20 PMSubject: RE: Hi! New here and could really use some support Hey Margie, I'm in Phoenix also and these implants ruined my life, health, and marriage. I resent my ignorant immoral husband and can't get over it. Then he refused to believe my implants were the cause of my health problems. He is worthless to me and I am stuck, so sick. Anyway, I have been on an explant consult with Hiatt, Leighton, and am now waiting to see whether Kolb in Atlanta can get my insurance to pay for some of the explant. What I have been through has made me hate men and this wicked society. I never would have done it if I wouldn't have been weak and my husband mentioned them but never took the time to look up possible consequences. I guess I was just as wicked focusing too much on looks. I am completely isolated and in a fog all the time, hating life, so I understand needing support. I

am also deathly afraid of dying from complications from surgery, ironically. I am so sorry about your mom. Ohhh, I am unable to lose weight and have gained and a lot of days I don't even try to look good. I'm an absolute mess. I don't even want to lose weight because men look then. Sorry for the men bashing.........

From: massageequines@...Date: Wed, 23 Feb 2011 20:00:22 -0800Subject: Re: Hi! New here and could really use some support

Did you have them put in in Phoenix? Just curious. I used Chasby Sacks in Phoenix 20 years ago and have hated him since. He lied, did a crap job and basically poisoned me.The main thing is to take your time to find a good surgeon to take them out, research, do your due diligence and start preparing your body, mind and soul for what you are doing. The healthier you get yourself before a surgery, the better....

Barbara, Winston & Yogi"The greatness of a nation can be judged by the way its animals are treated" GandhiPeace & Kindness in 2011In loving memory of TIRAWA

From: wittahatchit <wittahatchit@...>Subject: Hi! New here and could really use some support Date: Wednesday, February 23, 2011, 12:46 PM

My name is Margie from Phoenix, AZ. I got my implants in 1999 and I've been in a slow decline with my health for the past few years. I feel poisoned. The worst part is that my fiance doesn't even know that I have them, I have gained weight since I got them and they are barely able to even be felt. I have a sad story about how and why I got them and a long list of health ailments as well, far too many for a 32 year old and so far no diagnosis. I'd like to get my implants taken out but don't have the money and have a HUGE fear of surgery. (My mother died a few years ago from surgery complications) But for now I'll start with hello and I'm so glad to meet all of you!

March 11, 2011

,

First, I want to say congrats for being on the road to wellness! You sound like you are doing remarkable well.Your emails are so positive for the rest of us who are still hopeful that the day will come when we can share in that kind of success.

I'm so happy for you..I pray that you will improve everyday and that you will be seizure free now.

Please continue to update us, it gets me thru my day right now.

Isn't it funny how so many of us got implants only to eventually wear clothes that cover up our bodies?

I have done the same thing.

I used to go to the gym and wear tank tops, back when my body was healthy and fit.

Now I don't go to the gym....and I wear big sweatshirts and baggy shirts to cover myself up.

I feel embarrassed that I did this and made myself sick.

I took a perfectly healthy body and made it sick, shame on me.

But. I'm hopeful that I will get back on track ,like you and get healthy once again.

Thanks for sharing your story w/ everyone...

in NY

From: Inbody <inbo5599@...> Sent: Thu, March 10, 2011 9:31:50 PMSubject: Re: 's poison bags out now

, thanks for sharing your story as well. I can totally relate to the large boobs and children thing. I have 16 and 4 year old sons. I felt bad for my 16 year old. I'm also a DD (orginally wanted to be a full C but after my second son got bigger). I tried to wear loose fitting clothing but like you know it does't matter. Men and women alike found it difficult to look me in the eyes. There were many moms who wouldn't even talk to me, as well as, rude comments from boys at school that I could overhear. Like you said it was unavoidable and made for sad emotions. I used to wear nice professional clothing. I have a bunch of pictures of my son and I together when he was young and I didn't have implants. We looked so happy. But after I got implants and as he got older he got harrassed about his mom being so big. A mom told me that he got flack at

school from the boys about my breast. Eventually he was embarrased to be seen with me and overtime didn't even want to hug me.